What's cookin'?

So, can you guess what my husband and his little helper are doing to my oven? I'll give you a hint: it involves taking the entire back panel off of the oven, the top off of the electronic panel, and eventually the bottom drawer off as well.










So... what do you think? Look in the far left corner of the bottom of the oven...











Here's another hint... sure to explain it:








Ah ha... who guessed correctly? Did anyone guess a King Snake was in the oven? Come on.. surely SOMEONE had that thought!


Clayton was outside mowing a few weeks ago, on a beautiful spring day. We had the back and front doors open to let the nice breeze in. Apparently, this let in more than the cool air. I walked into the kitchen to grab a pacifier for my sleepy baby and saw a tail slither up into the electronic compartment of the stovetop! I screamed... realized no one over the age of 4 was in the house to help me... and ran outside to demand my husband come retrieve "the thing" out of the stove. I explained that either a huge lizard or a snake was up there. He looked at me like I had three heads. Did he think I had made up this ellaborate story just to make him stop mowing? He came in, looked into all of the openings he could find to see if he could see "the thing" and decided it would just have to come out on its own b/c he couldn't see anything. Oh my gosh.... he left me alone in the house with "the thing" and went back to mowing. Everytime I had to walk past the kitchen I got goose-bumps all over and wanted to puke. Finally, I saw "the thing's" head barely sticking out of the same opening it had crawled into. I avoid screaming, afraid I'd scare it back into hiding, and ran to get Clayton again. He runs in and sees its head and asks, "Do you really want to know what that is?" "umm... no..." "It's a snake!" "Umm.. I said I didn't wanna know!"



This began a 40 minute battle between Homo sapien and Ophidia. It ended with my oven being taken apart and a snake being put into our trash can for Clayton to take and release into the wild... far away from the house!



How creepy is THAT?!



Anytime a door is open in our house now I'm running like crazy and yelling at whoever left it open, "Remember the SNAKE?!!"



Oh, country living at its finest!

Lovely

Thursday of last week we had softball practice. Madison's doing great and Samuel's contently sitting on my lap. Carter's playing nicely with the other kids a bit aways from me, but well within sight. Suddenly, one of the moms comes to me and says, "I'm guessing you didn't realize that's poison ivy he's picking over there...." Umm.. yeah.. I definitely didn't realize that. I rush him to the church bathroom (that's thankfully letting us practice on their lot) and scrub him down. I pray that keeps him safe from the terrible itch that is poison ivy's signature. My prayer worked! A week later, he has not ONE bump or rash from the ivy... me, however.. not so lucky. I literally have it from my neck - down. I've never had poison ivy this badly in my life! I can't even sleep from the constant itching... this must be how I felt when I had chicken pox in kindergarten. I took Carter for his 4yr checkup today (he's still a big boy.. 90% for weight and height... he got three shots and was SO brave.. he got a clean bill of health!) and when the doctor walked in she took one look at me and she nearly laughed but yet was obviously concerned. Yeah, it's okay.. I know it's bad. She informed me that with a case as bad as I have I would likely keep it for several weeks, perhaps months, from reinfecting myself. Great! She wrote me a rx for some steriod pills that should have me all cleared up. Problem is I have to take them for two weeks... meaning that for the next two weeks, according to the doc, I can expect sleepless nights b/c I"ll be wired, a cranky baby that also won't sleep b/c I'm still nursing.. but the good side is I'll have ample energy to deal with the cranky baby that won't sleep. Maybe the house work I've been putting off thanks to PMS will get done while I'm unable to sleep. 2am could possibly be a delightful time to mop! If I was able i'd post a picture to show off my lovely rash... you'd all be impressed with what I was able to pull off just by washing the poison ivy off of my little boy.. you would think I was the one picking it like flowers. But, at least Carter escaped it! There's the silver lining! :)

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to my new four year old!

Daddy look-alike, sister looker-up-to, baby brother loving, and mommy's cuddle bug. The adjectives that describe you are many and quite varied. From rotten to amazingly sweet and thoughtful, from a bit crazy to beautifully well behaved and focused, from adorable... to, well... adorable! You constantly amaze me. As active as you are, you also tend to be so laid back. You seem to be your father made over. Nothing bothers you for very long and you can't stand to see someone else bothered. Your love of all things boy make my day. Playing in the mud with dump trucks, stacking blocks to make the highest tower ever just to jump into it so you can enjoy the chaos of a big crash, pestering your sister until she nearly cries, just to hug her and say, sincerely, "I'm sorry Madison." You still are in need of much affection, and because you love to receive it, you have so much stored up to give away. You are a constant source of hugs, kisses, arm rubs, hair strokes, and "can I sit with you?". You keep everyone in the house laughing. Your middle-child-ness is definitely starting to show. You are patient with your baby brother... allowing him to pull your hair for sport and steal your toys right from your hands with nothing more than a laugh. You are sensitive, yet don't wear your heart on your sleeve. You, quite possibly, are destined to be the most well balanced person this world has ever seen. I know you are going to accomplish great things in your life. I know you will be successful in all that you do. From preschool this fall to who knows what in the future. I love you Carter-man! Happy 4th birthday!

My little dancer

I just got Madison's dance pictures in (thanks Carolynn!!!) and I love them! Her recital was awesome. She danced her little heart out. I was so proud! Her ballet dance (was to the music "My Place in this World") made my mom, sister, and me shed a few tears. It was beautiful! I'm going to order some action shots of that dance and I'll share them when I get them in. I'm so glad she's found something that she really loves. And she's actually quite talented at it! Especially ballet. She's always had a lot of grace and balance, so ballet seems quite perfect for her. It's her personal favorite! She says she likes tap and jazz a lot too, but ballet is quiet and slow, and if you know Madison, that's her kinda thing!

Amazingly my quiet and slow loving ballet child is super excited about playing softball this year. I don't know what's changed, but when we got the sign up sheet in her folder from school she said she really wanted to play! Great! (she hasn't wanted to play at all since she played her first yaer of tball...) She'll still be in T-Ball because she won't turn 7 until June. I was worried about that because almost all of her first grade friends are already 7, but she is excited because her dance friends are late birthdays too so they're also still 6. She also has a few other friends that are a year younger that she is hoping get to be on her team. So, looks like she's going to get another shot at liking softball again. Her daddy is a huge baseball fan, and player, so I know it does his heart good to take his oldest child outside to teach her how to catch with her glove, hold her bat correctly, and catch a pop up and a ground ball. Carter's having fun tagging along with that game.. he loves to bat and run and chase the balls the Madison hits. I think his daddy has big baseball dreams for him as well. Samuel gets to sit in the baby swing or crawl around the yard watching too... soaking it up early! We may not do your typical "baby training" but we don't mess around with things like baseball... gotta teach 'em while they're young! ;)

The Positives

So, Clayton's been gone for a full week.. he gets to come home sometime today or tonight, and I cannot wait! I tried not to post while he was away b/c I didn't want to complain. Today, as a reflecting day, I thought I'd turn it around and find positives to him being away this week, and in general, with work. Digging deep to find them!

- I get to know my kids better. Without Clayton here as a "distraction" I really spend more time with the kids and listen better in the evening hours to every little thing they say.

- I learn lots of patients. There's no room for mommy to "lose it" when daddy's away so often. I can handle lots more than I thought I ever could, solo!

- I get closer to Clayton. The old saying "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." really is true. It's almost like we're dating again. (we dated long distance for 3yrs) Just a few short phone conversations over a weeks time makes you long for more. (include screaming drill instructors into the background and it makes for a tough phone call! The newest group of state police recruits happens to be there at the same time as he and other guys are getting trained to train them. lol The DI's aren't yelling at Clayton's group, by the way.)

- It's a confidence booster. A good friend of mine, who's husband is away a little more often than clayton and also works long hours, said a cool thing to me recently about our hubby's being gone. She said, "You know, one good thing is it boosts us into a whole different relm of motherhood... most women start flipping out if their husbands aren't home by 5:30pm... for us, it's just the start of a long night when we KNOW no one's coming in that door to relieve us." So true. The amazing thing is, after all of these years, I don't even need help at night most of the time. Would it be nice? lol um, yeah! But, I manage fine. I still cook a good meal each night, clean the house, get kids bathed, play games with them, read bedtime stories, and put them to bed... all by myself. I NEVER would've imagined doing this with ease when we started this venture of crazy work schedules almost 4 years ago. I assumed I'd have lost my ever loving mind by now.

- I get to catch up on all of the shows Clayton hates! This week was full of recorded episodes of John and Kate Plus 8, What Not to Wear, The O'Reilly Factor, and Little People, Big World. Ahh... it was bliss!

- I learn to face my fears. Without him here to scoop up the big black furry caterpillar we found in the kitchen, to squish spiders that come in b/c it's warm outside now, and get spider webs off of the kids swings outside.. guess who MUST do it? lol yeah.. me! I also have to continue to face my fear of being home alone at night. Yes.. I know. I'm home alone MOST nights... but it still is a huge fear of mine. I did well this week. As long as I watch TV in bed for a bit it blocks my mind from thinking of who might be trying to break in b/c they've noticed the Trooper Car has been gone for an awfully long time... I pray a lot, and thank God I wake up to a safe home the next morning!

- I catch up with friends. This week I had lunch with a friend I haven't seen in a month or so, Lee Ann came to hang out Wednesday night and we had the most awesome time, I had supper with another friend, too. I try to see my friends often, but when Clayton's home it's easier to call them up and beg for company. lol Thankfully they're all so sweet that they OFFER their company before I even have to swallow my pride and ask. They know I'm lonely... and I so appreciate them joyfully saying, "Hey! Since Clayton's gone let's hang out!" I'm SO blessed with my friends. SO SO SO BLESSED!!

- I get to know "me" a bit better. When there's no one to distract you from yourself, you have more than enough time to reflect on your life, your thoughts, your relationships, and all things that make you, you. Since I miss Clayton, I often spend time thinking of him. How great he is, how much I love and miss him, and how I want to be the wife he's excited to come home to. I was so touched to hear the guys he's with in the background talking about "how good Clayton has it at home..." the other night. Knowing that your husband speaks highly of you when you're not there, especially when you KNOW you're not always so deserving of it, is just the best feeling ever!! I've realized that the more time I spend building him up, the better our relationship gets. It's a great cycle to start!

- I have more blogging time. When's the last time I rambled on like THIS in a blog post, hu? I know you guys are as ready for him to get home as I am, now! ;)

Tagged!

Brittany at: www.http://brittany-becoming.blogspot.com/ tagged me.. so here goes:

The Rules:
1. Link your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

Facts:
1) I've had six abdominal surgeries in my short almost 25 years. Two umbilical hernia surgeries, one laproscopic surgery to drain ovarian cysts, and three C-Sections. (no wonder I can't get a flat tummy...)

2) I was a cheerleader/dancer all through school and secretly still long for those days!

3) I tend to be quite passionate about all I do... you may have noticed. ;) Things like attachment parenting and environmental issues can top the list of my recent passions. Second runners up would be healthy eating/fitness and writing.

4) I'm, on the down-low, getting into writing. I'll share more on that as it progesses... hopefully progresses I should say.

5) I nearly cut ties with my mother after Madison was born over several issues, but by God's grace we have a better relationship today than I could have ever imagined. I cannot imagine not talking to her every single day.

6) I've recently become very aware of many of my faults. (attribute this to growing relationship with Christ) My top thing to work on as of now is judgementalness. It's so hard for me... but I'm really working to not just fake not being judgemental, but truly have a pure heart for others.

7) I hate to bake. I LOVE to cook, but baking makes me insane. So many bowls, so many spoons, SO much mixing and stirring, and it never turns out as good as the boxed or premade goodies I get at WalMart. "What's the point?" I say...

Now I have to tag some victims:

KT at www.momma-tude.blogspot.com
Maury at www.maurydraper.blogspot.com
Wendy at www.wendyjanelle.blogspot.com
Jeff at www.journeyguy.com

Okay, I'm cheating.. my infant's crying so I only got around to tagging 4 ppl... my husband's been gone ALL week for training, so have mercy on me! lol

Mercury in CFL bulbs

Anyone that is the least bit environmentally conscious, or financially looking for savings, has invested in the new CFL bulbs. (compact florescent lighting) Here's what one brand says about CFL bulbs:

If every American home replaced just one light bulb with an ENERGY STAR qualified bulb, we would save enough energy to light more than 3 million homes for a year, more than $600 million in annual energy costs, and prevent greenhouse gases equivalent to the emissions of more than 800,000 cars.

Earning the Government's ENERGY STAR

ENERGY STAR qualified CFLs:
-ENERGY STAR qualified bulbs use about 75 percent less energy than standard incandescent bulbs and last up to 10 times longer.
-Save about $30 or more in electricity costs over each bulb's lifetime.
-Produce about 75 percent less heat, so they're safer to operate and can cut energy costs associated with home cooling.
-Are available in different sizes and shapes to fit in almost any fixture, for indoors and outdoors.

Well, that sounds mighty fine if you ask me! These are the reasons we have almost only CFL bulbs in our home. Can I tell you that the fact that it's been probably over a year since we had to change a light bulb is reason enough to use these? So, imagine my surprise when I stumbled across an article on mercury dangers from CFL bulbs. "what?!" I had to do some research and share what I found. Here's the gist of it from http://www.snopes.com/ :

-CFLs contain mercury, a dangerous substance: True.

-While mercury stays safely contained in intact CFLs, it escapes from broken CFLs into the immediate surroundings: True.

-The amount of mercury contained in one CFL bulb poses a grave danger to a home's inhabitants: False.

-But folks do need to handle the breakage of a CFL bulb with a great deal of care and follow certain procedures in removing the broken bulb and its contents from the home: True.

-An environmental clean-up crew needs be called in to deal with the mercury dispersed by one broken CFL bulb: False.

...they also contain mercury, a fact that causes no small amount of concern in light of how dangerous that substance is. Yet the amount housed in each bulb is very small, about 5 milligrams, which is about the size of the period at the end of a sentence. And, provided the bulbs aren't broken open, none of that leaches into the home. Like batteries, used CFLs need to be disposed at a toxic waste depot rather than tossed out with the ordinary household trash. Because mercury is cumulative, this poisonous element would add up if all the spent bulbs went into a landfill. Instead, the mercury in dead bulbs is reclaimed at such depots and recycled. As to the potential for harm posed by mercury escaping from broken bulbs, says the King County Hazardous Waste Program: "Crushing and breaking fluorescent lamps release mercury vapor and mercury-containing phosphor powder. These can be difficult to contain." Yet the recommended clean-up process does not involve calling in a HazMat team. Says the EPA...

Long story short, CFL bulbs are still the best choice environmentally speaking, as long as you continue to do the environment some good and recycle them or take them to be properly disposed of once they go dark. Whew! I can continue to be a lazy bum and not have to spend my days changing and re-changing light bulbs!

Braggin on my honey

I can't help it, I have to brag on Clayton. I'm just TOO proud! He recently got certified as a DRE. A Drug Recognition Expert. When he told me he was being sent to be trained for this, I thought, "whatever.. good.. fine.." I had no idea it was such a huge deal! It was about a 3 week class... in which they crammed about 3 months worth of material! The testing was intense... I'd have never passed! Once they passed the class, they moved onto doing real evaluations. A DRE is someone that does very specific testing on someone that is thought to be intoxicated on drugs. This really involved set of physical tests they do, and make the arrested do, tells them what class of drug a person is on. The testing is more of something you'd see a doctor do, not a cop! Taking blood pressure, pulse, doing many balance tests, making them tell you when they think 30 seconds has passed, doing a pupil size exam, and then a 'dark room' pupil size exam. That pupil size test... wow. You have to literally be inches away from the person's face, with a chart by their eye, a light in their eye... to measure the size. You just hope that person doesn't spaz out and start fighting or something! (and if they're high on 'who knows what'.. chances are eventually someone is going to go nuts!) Anyway, he just got the word that he's now officially a DRE. I am so proud! He's one of about 15 State Police (meaning, in all of Arkansas) with this title. He's been told he needs to go get trained to be a DRE instructor so he can teach classes in the future. I'm for that seeing as how it actually comes with nice pay! (since he doesn't get paid any more to be a DRE.. even though it will mean more work... oh I love how the state works...) so there's my long post on my man. He continually amazes me!

Little Stinker!!

This past week has been so full of ups and downs with this little cuttie! He went on a huge nursing strike. (I'm thinking because of his top teething trying to break through.) He would only nurse at night and first thing in the morning. From the hours of about 6am through 7pm he would totally refuse to nurse. He'd bite me, turn away, cry, push away from me, and just in general be seriously upset by me even offering him the goods. But then, the magic hour of 7:00pm would come and he'd get on and not want to get off. So weird. By Friday (day 5 of strike) he was showing great signs of improvement! He nursed all that day just like normal.. HOORAY! His 9 month checkup was also that day. He's great. :) 18 pounds (75%) 29inches (75%) and his head was also 75%... pretty perfect! The doctor commented to him that "You could've been an even bigger boy if you would have eaten last week!" lol So true! So, I'm thinking by last night, after many many easy and smooth nursing sessions, that he's back on and problems are gone. Well, this morning he's back at it. sigh I don't know what to do with this boy. I'll just keep offering and keep being on top of this. The only trick that works with him is to let him go to sleep, and once he's totally out, pick him up and lay in bed with him and nurse him that way. He likes to nurse when asleep.. but not any other time. At this point I feel like if I can convince him to breastfeed for one solid year we'll have made a huge accomplishment! (someone please quote this to me many months from now when he's still going strong!) I never thought my big eater would refuse to eat mommy milk! What's he thinkin`?!

My big boy

Little Samuel is determined to grow up on me. He's been working really hard at standing up without holding onto anything, and now he's trying to take a few steps here and there. I'm so not ready for this! Why is it that with your first baby you can't wait for them to grow and change and do "something" and it seems like it takes forever for them to sit up, crawl, and walk. (even though looking back it went in a flash!) Then with your second, third, and I'm guessing any that come after, you know how fast it goes by so you just want to beg them to stay babies, to stay small, to stay still, yet they seem to take off in record speed? The baby stuff is slowly seeping out of our house. The cosleeper is long gone, along with the infant bathtub and the swing. Newborn clothes are packed up, some have been sold. Maternity clothes are sacked up and ready to get rid of. (anyone know of anyone that needs size small maternity clothes? They're way cute!) Recently the pack-n-play has been taken down b/c Sam hates it and won't sleep in it, and the mobile has been removed from the crib b/c he can reach it now and pulls it down. Things like burp rags, baby washclothes, and recieving blankets are also out of the house. A soft newborn cloth can no longer tackle the messes this little guy makes! Spit up breastmilk on his chin has been replaced with mashed up bananas, green beans, and cheerios. We no longer lay a quilt down on the ground outside for him to lay or sit on... why bother? He won't stay on it. A blanket under him for a diaper change? Nah, he's alright. Our 30minute long nursing sessions, that would conclude with him falling asleep soundly in my arms, have been replaced with 2 minute long sessions that end with him biting me with his new teeth and him squirming to get down.. he's got things to do. Someone fed him a piece of a chocolate doughnut at church yesterday and instead of cringing (like I would have with my first two) I laughed at how delighted it made him and wondered how he managed to get THAT messy from one piece of dougnut. So, things are rapidly changing around here! It's a shame that you wait for so long to hold your precious baby in your arms, and as soon as they get placed there they immediately start trying to grow up. They definitely become more fun, and easier, as they grow up... but a part of me always longs for that little newborn. I'm cherishing every single bit of my little man. Trying to hold a piece of how he is at each age somewhere in my mind. Knowing that, no matter how hard I try, years from now I'll watch an old family video and wonder how it is that I forgot him at "that" age. How can I be here for EVERY minute of his life and still forget them?

Yet another reason to hate drunk drivers

Besides the fact that drunk drivers kill people or cause accidents daily in Arkansas, last night my family found yet another reason to hate drunk drivers. It was 6:00pm exactly. The kids were watching a new movie we rented from Red Box (which we LOVE! Hooray for Red Box!) and Clayton and I were watching one as well. We were just getting to the suspenceful, nail-biting, what's going to happen next, part of the movie when everything shut off. The entire house went dark. The kids scream and run out our room (frustration from the movie going off mixed with fear of the dark) and Clayton and I sit quietly, somehow thinking that sitting still and not moving would magically help the lights flick back on. It didn't, and they didn't. A few minutes later Clayton's cell phone rings. It's a fellow officer calling to see if Clayton would assist him with a drunk driver since they were just a mile from our house. Clayton was off duty, but his passion for getting drunks off of the road always prevails and he heads out. A few minutes later he's back home, another Trooper that was on duty showed up to help. (I was so thankful... I did not want to be in the house, in the dark, alone with the kids AGAIN. The two days of that in the snow storm was enough for me) The drunk driver had wrecked out on our highway and knocked over a light pole. Oh, thank you, Mr. Drunk Driver. Because of your completely selfish attitude, your in ability to think of what MIGHT happen if you get wasted and then drive your 2 ton automobile going 60mph down a two lane highway, you slammed into the light pole that supplies electricity to all of our little community. Leaving us to be in the dark, again, for nearly 6 hours. Thankfully you didn't hit a family driving innocently down the road... and by God's grace you didn't kill yourself. But, as always, your actions effected so many. It ended up okay, of course. We all slept in the living room, just as we had done in the snow storm, with a candle for a nightlight. Clayton was here this time so I wasn't overwhelmed with a dark house and three kids with no adult conversation. Clayton's now ready to get back on the highway and find another drunk driver to take his frustration out on. (he's been in a very intense Drug Recognition Expert training class for the past three weeks) So, Mr. or Mrs. Future Drunk Driver, I feel for ya when he finds you... because he will... and you will go to jail... and you will beg him not to take you as if it's his fault you're going. Because, as always, you also lack the ability to take responcibility for your actions. Talk about a soap box... this is one I could stand on for the rest of my life!

Why Recycle?

Here are some recycling facts I found on http://www.dosomething.org/ Hopefully it will encourage those of you that are not currently recycling, to start.

FACT 1
Paper products make up 40% of all trash. That can all be recycled!
FACT 2
The highest point in Ohio is a literally a garbage dump that is now called Mount Rumpke.
FACT 3
Americans throw away 25 trillion Styrofoam cups that cannot decomposed or be recycled.
FACT 4
Only about 30% of paper, trash, and food waste is recycled.
FACT 5
17 trees, 380 gallons of oil, 3 cubic yards of landfill space, 4,000 kilowatts of energy and 7,000 gallons of water can be saved by recycling 1 ton of paper!
FACT 6
80% of papermakers in America use at least some form of recycled materials to create new paper.
FACT 7
Americans throw away 2.5 million plastic bottles every hour!
FACT 8
Recycled plastic is can be made into polyester carpets, plastic lumber, clothing, flower pots, insulation for sleeping bags & ski jackets, car bumpers and other products.
FACT 9
All soda cans are made from aluminum. Each American uses about 400 cans a year. If aluminum is recycled, 95% less energy is used than if it were made from scratch.
FACT 10
Cell phones, computers, and other technology release toxins into the environment when they are thrown away. The only way to stop the pollution is to recycle them.
FACT 11
Although 75% of our trash can be recycled, the EPA set a national goal of 25% for 1992.
FACT 12
The first real recycling program was introduced in New York City in the 1890s. The city's first recycling plant was built in 1898.By 1924, 83% of American cities were separating some trash items to be reused.
FACT 13
About one-third of an average dump is made up of packaging material!
FACT 14
Every year, each American throws out about 1,200 pounds of organic garbage that can be composted.
FACT 15
One-third of the water used in most homes is flushed down the toilet.
FACT 16
A single quart of motor oil, if disposed of improperly, can contaminate up to 2,000,000 gallons of fresh water.

My update

Some of you may remember my post baby posts about trying to drop this pregnancy, and trying to get pregnant, weight. Well, I'm happy to report that since I started trying to lose weight (when Samuel was about 8 weeks old) I've lost 17 pounds! I have 5ish to go to get to my goal weight. I am THRILLED! I am back into single digit sized jeans, which just shocks me. I really thought I'd never get down to this size again. I still have a lot of toning to do and those last 5 pounds really will make a big difference, but I'm really proud of myself. It's so hard to make time to exercise and to make myself work out when I'm running on so little sleep. Eating healthier is tough because when I'm nursing my cravings are just insatiable. But, I'm doing it! For a LONG time I just enjoyed eating more than I wanted to lose weight. lol Not anymore! I forgot how good it feels to feel this good. :) I still enjoy my treats. I'll never give up my Coke Zero or two a day. (zero calories, just not the healthiest thing on the planet) I just have finally learned some self control. My mom saw me a week or so ago and said, "Wow! You look like Mandy again!" I have to agree. I feel like "me" again too!

The Kids

I haven't done an update on the kids in a while so I thought it was time. First is little Sam... he's quickly becoming not quite so little anymore. He's already 8.5 months old. Where has the time gone? He's crawling and pulling up and trying to let go once he's standing to stand alone. He can for a few seconds... but then he gets excited and drops right to the floor. (or sometimes he falls forward onto whatever he pulled up on and gets a nice little head bump) He's such a talker! He crawls around the house saying "dada" and "mama" and "bye bye" all of the time. I LOVE baby talk! He's already slowly losing some of that precious baby squish. Now.. don't worry.. he's still plenty squishy! But he's getting so long that he's just stretching it all out. His favorite past time is eating. He loves to eat! That includes nursing and solids... anything I'll allow him to have, he's excited about. He's borderline obsessed with food. Eating out with him is quite a chore. He already has figured out that what we're eating is not what i'm feeding him, and that makes him a little cranky! He's still an easy going, social, sweet, cute as can be baby! Oh, he finally got two bottom teeth just in the past two weeks. I'm sad that his gummy smile is fading away, but it's neat to see him have a 'bigger baby' look to him all at the same time. My days now are spent asking the two most asked questions for anyone with a mobile baby/toddler in the house. "Where's Samuel?" and "What's in his mouth?"

Carter and Madison.. those two are quite something lately! Carter has become even more silly... if you can imagine! He's still always out for a laugh, he takes NOTHING seriously, and he's still a big time lovey kid. He makes Madison insane a lot of the time because she's the exact opposite. She is more calm and sometimes moody, likes quiet, takes everything seriously, and isn't too touchy feely. The good news is, they're really becoming great friends. Now that Carter's getting older and he's "more fun" to play with, I can see a different relationsip forming. They choose to play together now because it's a good time, not because it's the only option when we're home. It's so neat to see siblings together! (unless they're fighting....) Madison is still doing great in school. She's a great reader, and she loves music and art. She says she can't wait until second grade because she thinks she'll have science then. (no science in first grade?) She's so much like me. She LOVES animals... to a fault almost. She says she wants to be a zookeeper or work at a pet store when she grows up. That's exactly what I wanted to be when I was young. (I guess being a stay at home mom is sort of like being a zoo keeper...) Carter's doing great at his school work here at home. He knows his entire alphabet by sight now and can write the letter 'A' on his own. Also the letter 'C'. We're working on 'B' but that's a tough one! He loves doing letters... I'm shocked at his thirst for knowledge! I'm taking advantage of it while it's here. So, the kids are all doing great. We have bumps in the road here and there but we work through each of them one day at a time! I'm still amazed at how relatively simple having three kids has been. I really thought it would be more of a big deal. I guess once that first child paves the way.. you're just doing more of the same!

Why Organic?

I've had a few conversations lately with some friends that are hopping on the organic buying bandwagon and we've all been asked so many times, "Why buy organic?" It costs more for the same thing! Sometimes quite a lot more! Here's why:

http://www.treehugger.com/ (found on Oprah's website)

Though known colloquially as food that is grown more healthily (and is more expensive), in order for organic food to be certified as such, it must be produced under specific, legally-regulated standards and be subject to testing in order to retain certification.
In agriculture, this means that crops were grown without the use of conventional pesticides, artificial fertilizers or sewage sludge, and that they were processed without food additives (like chemical preservatives). When it comes to animals, they must be reared without the routine use of antibiotics and growth hormones and fed a diet of organic foods. In most countries, organic produce must not be genetically modified.

Perhaps the most important thing to understand about organic food is the relationship between legal (usually government) oversight and production of food employing earth-friendly practices. In order to be "certified," organic food -- and the farm it was grown on -- must apply for certification, pass a rigorous series of tests, and pay a fee for the process. In the US, this process is regulated by the US Department of Agriculture; as a government agency, it's subject to politicization and changing rules as different administrations and individuals assert their influence. As such, all "certified" organic food is organic, but not all organic food is certified. This, in part, has led to the increasing popularity of local food over organic food.

The biggest criticism of organic food, though, is the price premium. According to the Journal of Food Science, organic products typically cost 10 to 40% more than similar, conventionally-produced products. Prices tend to be higher because organic produce is produced on a smaller scale, and may need to be milled or processed separately; some of the price premium is likely to decrease as organic produce continues to scale up. Organic foods also tend to include more of the environmental costs that conventional agriculture tends to externalize. So, you're paying more for what's not in your food (pesticides, hormones, etc.) and you're paying more of the actual cost of food production, because things like pesticides aren't being passed along to the environment where friendly fuzzy bunnies and clear-running spring water pay for them.

This is just a bit of the article I read that I liked. We don't eat all organic foods, but that's mainly b/c there's just a lack of organics in our area. If you want to get the biggest bang for your buck, buy organic only for foods that you eat the entire thing. Like apples for example. Apples, by the way, are considered to have one of the highest amounts of pesticide usage when growing... so it really pays to spend the extra cash for USDA certified organic apples. WalMart carries them now! In a bag for your convenience. :) Just wanted to throw some info out there for any that were interested. I've really been on a healthy home/ healthy environment kick... I guess it just seems to make sense to be! Sorry if you guys couldn't care less about the going green/organic stuff... I'll probably be blogging about it a bit more in the future!

Questions of the Day

1. Why can't the people that work at the Credit Union take my money 5 minutes before 9:00am? Must we all sit in line while our infants scream for 5 minutes straight while you sit and wait for the clock to strike 9?

2. Why do I always end up behind the old man driver that insists on going 50mph or less the ENTIRE way to my house... and I only end up behind him the day my infant is screaming?

3. Why is it so darn cold again?

4. Why does a freshly mopped kitchen always attract a spill, usually of juice or some other sticky substance that makes me re-mop what I just cleaned?

5. Why does a freshly washed set of sheets always make a diaper leak?

6. Why does my 3yr old ALWAYS have to go potty when I'm knee deep in WalMart with a cart full of stuff... and not when we first walk in? (and yes, I make him go potty before we leave the house)

7. Why did I dream that I missed a road and had to drive through a man's yard to get back to it and he was crying and sad b/c I was being so disrespectful of his property last night?

8. Why am I so addicted to chocolate? I think it must be as hard to quite eating chocolate as it is to stop smoking crack.

9. Why can I no longer spell simple words? Often I write something down, look at it and decide it must be wrong, and resort to the dictionary, that I often refer to as Clayton, for the correct spelling. I used to be so smart... really.. I was!

10. Why am I less tired and less stressed now that i have three kiddoes than I ever was when I just had one? Amazing how that happens!

11. Last but not least: Why does my 6yr old already remind me of a 13yr old girl? Scary stuff I tell ya... scary stuff...

Presidential Woes

The Presidential election is on its way! Soon we'll find out who the two candidates will be... anyone else getting a bit nervous over this? The four front runners are Hillary and Obama for the democrats and John M. and Mike H. for the republicans. Who ya rootin' for? I'm still on the fence. I am usually a pretty hard core republican. Mainly due to the pro-life issue. I have a hard time voting for anyone that's nonchalant on the abortion topic. I'm not extreme, but I do want SOME restrictions. But, lately other issues have become quite important to me as well. Health care is HUGE right now. As well as education. I HATE the No Child Left Behind Act. I feel like all it did was leave every child behind. School is just too hard for most kids... and it's no fun. If learning isn't fun in Kindergarten, how do we encourage learning for life? Also, the environment is a big issue for me. I feel like most of us are just floating through life with our fingers crossed that global warming isn't really happening, when ALL evidence shows it is. It scares me how little is being done about it and how little most Americans are willing to do to help with environmental issues. (just switch your light bulbs and recycle and you'll do SO MUCH GOOD! Begging you folks here!) The war in Iraq, of course, is a hot topic as always. I can't comment much on it. I hate that we're still there and it seems like we'll always be there. Putting myself in the shoes of another family that's mom and/or dad is on its way right now to Iraq, again, for another year+ long tour is just really hard. Pull out and come home or stay the course? Somewhere in the middle? I dunno.... I'm not expert on military details. I just wish we'd see something change there and soon! So many issues. My main problem with elections is not trusting any of the candidates. They all talk a big game, but will they follow through? If I were to vote democrats I think I'd go with Hillary. *gasp* Obama just doesn't have enough experience, in my opinion. She's at least been in the White House and should be fairly familiar with the goings on there. I think she'd have the economy whipped into shape and health care would probably be changed in some way. If I were to vote Republican, I'm just on the fence. I need to research John M. more before I comment much. The one thing I don't like about Mike H. is that he really screwed over education here in AR from what I've read and heard from my friends that are teachers... so if seems like if he takes office we'd get more of the same education wise. Oh decisions decisions! I don't know if I have enough months left to pick! Anyone know when we'll know who the two candidates will be? Is there a date set for that?

Going Hunting

There are things in my house that I use every single day that I can NEVER find. They're never where they're supposed to be and getting them always involves a scavenger hunt of sorts. Anyone else have things like that? And, of course you need them when you're already 5 minutes late getting out of the door in the morning! Just today those things for me have been, as they always are:
1) my favorite black hairbrush. I actually have still not found it and had to settle for the NOT favorite red hairbrush instead.
2) the phone. I always have to page it to locate it.
3) the glass I was just drinking out of
4) my cell phone
5) my cell phone
6) my cell phone
7) all of the states for Carter's new favorite USA puzzle... how do you lose Alaska yet keep up with Maine?
8) the scissors... always, always, always missing

So, just TODAY these are things I have had to search for. No wonder I never can 'find' time to get online anymore!

Nothing Sweeter

There is NOTHING sweeter than watching a room full of preschoolers pray to our Lord. I am so privileged to get to teach the 2-4yr old class at Journey once a month. We so often can underestimate how much they really really do get God and Jesus at these tender ages. My favorite thing to do to start class is to simply say, "Raise your hand if Jesus loves you!" All of their tiny hands shoot up into the air... their faces light up! I pray for all of them that they will grow up to really, really believe that. Jesus REALLY does love them. To think of what a positive impact them knowing that, starting at such a young age, will have on their lives is just astounding. What a huge responsibility we all have to the young ones around us! Teaching God's love is something we must do daily. We must live it, show it, be it! From how we talk to others, to how we treat them, to how we even talk ABOUT others when they're not around... it all impacts our children. Unfortunately our children will "likely" become like us... not like we tell them to become. Anyone else feel pressure there? lol Well, I guess we should feel it. How often do you think back to your days as a child, growing up and trying to figure out how this big, mean world works, and the things adults did that negatively impacted you? I have really tried to go through my entire childhood and pinpoint the things that happened that made me who I am. Good and bad. What created the positives about me? What created the negatives? I think that's a good exercise for all parents to do. I've tried to be very purposeful in NOT doing the things that I know created negatives for me to my children. From simple things like not talking over them or trying to immediately calm the situation when one of them is obviously becoming frustrated to big things like not fighting with Clayton in front of them (or not fighting with him period lol) to not yelling, spanking, or saying phrases that I hated my entire life like: "You have to clean your plate", "Don't make me come over there!", or "Quite crying before I give you something to cry about!" Oh my.... we all too often do not think enough about the words we speak aloud. Thoughts alone can be quite detrimental to our own selves... but the power of our words is something not to be ignored. Especially to a child that is so mold-able. What do you want your children to think about themselves? Say THOSE things to them! What do you want them to become? Smart? Hard working? Successful in life? Speak those words over them. My stepmother was the QUEEN of positive speaking with us kids. I can still remember words she spoke to me and about me. Things like, "you have so much wisdom to be so young... never let anyone tell you otherwise!" and "You really have a gift with words, don't stop speaking truth to people." Now, maybe she said a little too much because sometimes my "gift" with words overrides my gift of censorship... but you get the idea. We all need to be totally purposeful with the parenting of our own children and the raising of the children around us! Children are such a total gift. God never has to hand down a child if he doesn't see it for his glory.... yet it really becomes so easy to take them for granted. My goal is to focus each day on how to NOT take for granted each of my children. To look each one of them over thoroughly and find their strengths and focus totally on those, making the weaknesses they have easier to deal with. Hopefully my actions as a mother will show God how thankful I am for the three miracles he handed down to me.

Why I've been absent

Hello Blogland. Yes, it is I... the missing one. Why have I not been blogging, you might be asking yourself? It seems that lately my life revolves around a handful of activities that I just do over and over and over again.

1. Feed people
2. clean
3. feed baby
4. clean baby
5. play with kids
6. repeat

"Clean" is to symbolize all things housework. You know: dishes, laundry, floors... oh-my-the-floors... Can someone please tell me why I have to wash towels twice a week when we have not one but TWO cabinets FULL of towels? Don't get me wrong, none of these things are bothersome to me. I typically actually REALLY enjoy cleaning, feeding the fam, and of course playing. The thing is, all of these things, especially when done one right after another for hours and hours on end, really are quite time consuming. I checked my email yesterday for the first time in about a week and had over 200 emails! Yikes! Guess how many were from actual people... go ahead.. it's okay.. guess. Like 6. Six out of 200... how annoying, right?! I want to send an email to the Viagra people to say something along the lines of, "when I grow a penis that experiences ED I'll be sure to let you know..." or to the dating services, "Married with 3 children.. probably will not appeal to the masses." Why do I get these crazy junk emails? (even with my junk mail filter supposedly on "high"... whatever) So, these things are all taking up my oh so precious time so I've had none to blog or even visit all of your blogs. Forgive me. I'm in the process of finding time to play on the puter again. Oh... one good thing that's taking up my time... exercising! Yep.. the hour I used to spend during Sam's nap filling you all in one me and seeing what was going on with you I now use burning and firming. So, hurrah me. Single digit jean sizes, here I come. Eventually...

In the past week

I've learned to:

*push myself up to sitting all by myself

*say dada, mama, and bye-bye

*say 'mama' while crying to make mommy come even faster

*get cheerios, fruit puffs, and other small finger foods into my mouth, all by myself

*crawl on my hands and knees (but only when highly motivated aka. food, the cat's in the house, my brother or sister just out of reach...)

*pull up and nearly fall out of my crib causing my mattress to be put at the lowest level, which made mommy cry because it now looks like a big baby bed, not a newborn bed.

*pull up and nearly fall out of the cosleeper, which also made mommy cry because now that means I'm sleeping in the pack -n- play by mommy's bed, and not the cosleeper. (and mommy will likely never get to use the cosleeper again)

*babble very loudly and realize it gets me lots of fun attention

All of this in one week's time. Amazing what a talented 7 month old I am. More to come! Just wait and see.

I love being a mom, I love being a mom...

... some days (nights) you just need to repeat that phrase over and over to yourself, don't you? You need to look at all of the cute pics you have of fun times with your kids to make yourself believe it. You know.. times like tonight when the stomach virus makes its way to the third victim in the house... your middle child... who has really never thrown up before and decides to do it on your bed while watching a movie with his big sister. Keep in mind this is only about one hour after supper so it's extra disgusting. Also keep in mind Daddy is out working so I have no one to pawn this awful terrible disaster off on. Don't forget to remember that this is the THIRD of the children to be sick this week... thankfully my girl child somehow got a fever but never threw up... something my male children are more than making up for. So, back to the night. Imagine you finally clean up the boy and strip the top comforter off of the bed, that thankfully was made up so ONLY the top comforter was in the line of fire, and you sit your boy on the couch with a trashcan and instruct him to, "sit here while i finish cleaning up... if you need to throw up again, do it in this trashcan, okay?" "Okay..."

You finish cleaning up the CHUNKS of food off of your comforter and floor, nearly putting more there yourself just from the smell alone. (have you had the chance to smell fresh vomit lately?)You throw the big comforter out the back door b/c you're certainly not dealing with that tonight.. or ever. You check on the boy and realize he's acting normal. You instruct him again to "sit here and throw up here if you need to.. -k-?" "-k-" You go back to cleaning the kitchen, which is what you were doing when the emergency situation arose. You're ALMOST finished when you hear your boy child crying... from your room. *is he in my room? how did he slip back in there without me seeing?* You don't even have to get in there to know what's happened. You grab a towel to take with you... yeah.. you'll need it. Somehow the boy child has managed to throw up even more the second time and he made sure to spread it around this time. On YOUR pillow, YOUR sheets, and YOUR entire side of the bed. Yeah...

So, have fun stripping more puke soaked sheets off of your bed and spending two or more hours doing laundry so that you can finally go to sleep. I mean.. you haven't slept all week.. you should be used to the sleep deprivation. And, what else would you be doing at 11:30pm besides waiting for your comforter to dry? (which you probably destroyed by washing and drying it.)

I love being a mom.. oh yes.. I love being a mom.

Doing the moral thing can really suck

What's the first thing you want to do when your husband hasn't taken a day off in about 3 weeks to work straight overtime... and your paycheck comes in? Is it:
a) go shopping
b) go shopping
-or-
c) send money to the credit card company

Yeah.. 'a' and 'b' are my top two picks too... and i nearly did just that until I forced myself to calm down and do the right thing. One of our big resolutions for this year is to work really hard to pay off, or as much as we can, our credit cards. Oh the money we could have each month in our pockets if it weren't for nearly 6 years of poverty when we first got married... such is life! Now that we're in a much better position, we have been dedicated to paying off our debts. I've tried to not complain on here about how much my dear poor husband has been working lately (some of you have probably heard a whine or two in real life though...) because I am trying to focus on the positives of it. It IS hard, we DO miss him, and being alone with the kids almost 24/7 isn't exactly what I had in mind when I said I wanted to be a stay at home mom when Madison was born... but the good news is God has really blessed us with Clayton's job. Due to Federal grant money he has the ability to go out and work almost as much overtime as he wants. If you know my husband you'll know that working is what he's good at. So, on his days off he's out for about 11/12 hours busting his behind to bring home a nice big paycheck... and when that paycheck comes in all I can think of is all of the places I want to go out to eat, all of the clothes the kids "need", and how long I've been wanting to go out and get some new tennis shoes. Then I try to chill out and remind myself why it is he's working so hard. Why it is I'm getting gray hair at the age of 24 from being a "single mom".... to pay off debt. It's hard to deal with suddenly having a budget at WalMart when we've really not had one in the past 3 or 4 years.. but saving money is a must in order to send any free money straight to the Visa man's hand. This coming paycheck we think we'll be able to totally pay off another card... two down, 4 to go. (and WHY do we have so many stupid credit cards? I say we cut down to TWO after we're done paying them off! sheesh!) So we are at least making progress... slow and steady definitely isn't the way to go when paying "the man." We tried that method all last year. Nope... when half of what you send goes to interest.. it could nearly make you cry. So, we're trying to throw a few hundred dollars to the lowest balanced card each month to see an actual dent in it in a faster fashion. Wish us luck! Clayton's like a rock when it comes to not spending money. I say that's b/c he's at work all of the time. *tee hee* He has no desire to do anything but sit at home when he does decide to take an oh so well deserved day off. Me, on the other hand... whole 'nother story...
So, I'm trying to focus on my morals and doing what I know is the right thing. I keep my focus on the bigger house I want to save up for, throwing even more money into the retirement fund and our mutual funds. That's a better way to use money! Having more money doesn't hurt any ministry opertunities that might come up for us either. Unfortunantely, money really does make the world go round!

Found his niche

Clayton couldn't be happier. His eldest son LOVES baseball. Clayton was a big baseball player and still loves it to this day so you can imagine his pride when he tosses a ball and Carter smacks it out into the yard. Carter is a lot like me. He has no patience. He has just recently learned to ride a bicycle because before he would get upset IMMEDIATELY if he couldn't figure the pedals out. If he was trying to stack blocks and they fell over he'd pout, "I can't do it!" If he loses a game.... oh Lordy... let's not even go there! But, when it comes to baseball, he is the most patient child on the planet. He can miss the ball 10 times in a row and still be totally joyful as he waits for the 11th pitch. When he hits it he squeels with delight! He finds chasing the ball down as much fun as hitting it in the first place. Clayton finds it hard to control his desire to say "right hand on top!" as Carter's holding his bat incorrectly... or "keep your eye on the ball!" before he throws it to him. I probably say, "Don't... he's just 3... let him enjoy it for a while!" a few hundred times each time we go out to play. I can see the stars in his eyes as he thinks of seeing his boy playing Tball, then Little League, one day. He can hardly stand the wait. I have to say I'm so happy that Carter has something that's just for him. Something only he likes, only he is cheered for. It might be his way out of "middle-child-ness" in the future.

What's the impact?

Have you ever had a conversation with a child and you knew you'd probably never see them again, but they just stuck in your head and heart? You just prayed that something you said would stick with them? I had this experience recently. I was waiting at the Dr's office to get one of Samuel's immunizations (do delayed vaxing, so we do one a month) and I had Carter in tow, Madison was at school. A little girl was sitting nearby and she came to me and said, "I'm not sick... can I please talk to your baby?" (such a sweetie!) I said, "Well sure! He loves peek-a-boo if you want to make him laugh." She was probably 10 years old... give or take. Carter was playing with the germy, sure to get you sick if you weren't already, toys offered in the office when he decided he didn't want to share with another child. I warned him of what i wanted him to do, he didn't, so I sat him beside me in "time out." The little girl asked, "So, you do timeouts?"
me:"Yes, sometimes."
Girl: "My mom doesn't do timeouts... she spanks me instead!"
Me: "My mom spanked me too, I don't think I ever got a timeout either."
Girl: "Do you spank your kids?"
Me: "No, I decided not to do that."
Girl: "Wow, really? I thought everyone spanked their kids!"
Me: *laughing* "Well, most people do... but I didn't like it when I was little so I decided to be different when I had my own children."
Girl: "Cool... "

A few moments later Samuel got fussy and she asked what was wrong with him. I told her he was hungry.
Girl: "Do you want me to get his bottle for you?"
Me: "Aw, thanks, but he doesn't have a bottle."
Girl: "Oh, so you breastfeed?" (she sounded like quite the grownup asking these questions)
Me: "Yep!"
Girl: "Really?! I hear about that on TV but I've never actually seen anyone do it before!"
Me: *nursing Sam* "If it makes you uncomfortable you don't have to sit here with me.. you won't hurt my feelings. Promise!"
Girl: "No, I think it's neat! Does it hurt?"
Me: "nope.. not at all"
Girl: "How do you know that he's eating enough like that?"
Me: "See these fat legs? That's pretty much how I can tell."
Girl: ***giggle*** "Did your mom breastfeed you?"
Me: "No, I don't think a lot of women breastfed their babies when I was a baby. It probably never even occurred to her to do it."
Girl: "You do a lot of things differently than your parents did, don't you!"
Me: "Yeah, I guess so! I guess when you know better, you do better, right?"
Girl: "Well, then I guess I can do things differently from my own mom once I have kids then!"

The girls mother (who had been back seeing the dr) then came out and told her to come on in a not so nice voice. The mom seemed angry at the little girl just for being around. My heart broke. We've all seen those kinds of parents... always snapping at their children. Always quick to smack them or scream at them. For NO reason what-so-ever. The girl told me goodbye, and I told her thank you for helping me with my baby. I also said, "I can already tell you're going to be a very loving mommy when you grow up."

For some reason this little girl popped into my head this morning. I kept wondering if our conversation would stick with her like it had with me. Would she be able to follow any of the quick examples I had set for her when she had her own child? Would the thoughts of breaking the cycle, being different from what she was raised to be help her be a better mother than her mother might have been to her? I pray to God that yes, it will. I pray that he put us together that morning, for those few short moments, to change both of our lives. Children like that put the thought of adoption closer and closer to my heart. The things I feel we could offer... the things I feel we're not doing God's ultimate will if we don't offer. I have prayed that she would seek out alternative parenting methods as she grows older and these things pertain to her. That maybe a Dr. Sears baby book would be handed to her to teach her all about attachment parenting... cosleeping, babywearing, nursing, and just basic loving and warm ways to care for your infant and your child. Gentle ways to discipline that really work. Oh the things I wish for this child that I do not know. May God bless her!

When is the quiver full?

I believe there are women in the world that, no matter how many children they have, they will ALWAYS want another. I believe I may be one of those women. Trying to figure out if you want another child, or another baby, can be tricky. Is it purely the desire to have the excitement and wonder of pregnancy? Anxiously awaiting the new arrival? The joyous moment of seeing your baby for the first time? Holding that sweet small bundle to your breast for the first time? Or, is it something more? How do you know? I worry I'll be torn on this issue for years and years to come. You see, Clayton and I agreed that Samuel would be our last child. We agreed that for many very logical and very sound reasons. Reason number one, and the most important reason of all, is because Clayton is really ready to be done with the pregnancy and baby phase of our marriage. He can't wait to load us all up and fly to Hawaii or something like that! (and that's not something I'd like to do with anyone under the age of 3.. maybe more like 4.) He also knows that there's not a snowball's chance in "you know where" that I'm leaving any of my young toddlers, much less an infant, to go off on a trip with him alone. Sorry.. can't do it! He was pretty ready to be done with two children, if we're being brutally honest. He was nice enough to try to make my life as fulfilled as possible by agreeing to have "just one more." Our compromise was basically, we'd have one more because he knew how much it meant to me, and I'd agree to have no more because I know how much that means to him. So, why is it, that I only have a 6 month old and my heart is already aching with the knowledge that this is it. My last. I keep reminding myself of all of the reasons I myself felt Samuel should be our last child. For one, I've already had 3 csections... do I REALLY want to do that to my body again? Would that even be safe? Our lives are just going to get busier as Carter enters school, and then Samuel. After school activities, sports, dance, and church will keep us on the move.... that won't be easy or probably enjoyable if I'm pregnant and then with a newborn. Kids cost a lot.... I refuse to work while I have my kids preschool age or younger... and that's a lot of pressure on Clayton to provide a comfortable lifestyle for all of us. So, see, I AM logical. These are just a few of the reasons I know we're done. It makes sense. The not logical, totally emotional, totally ruled by that motherly instinct, cries over this. One comfort I've found is in the knowledge that if God intends for us to ever have more children... we will. That I know for sure. And, I have to believe that if that is not his intent for our lives, that he will comfort me and mostly take this desire from me. I'm praying it already! I keep thinking that as Samuel gets older, and we get more freedom as a family to go and do things, I'll be happy we're done with the whole baby phase too. One can hope!

My Progress Report

After one week of busting my behind working out EVERY SINGLE DAY and trying to eat better I weighed in.. I lost 1/2 a pound! My waist is also 1/2 an inch smaller than when I last measured a little over 2 weeks ago. I am so happy! Now if I can really get a bit stricter on my eating, I can maybe do the same next week. It's so hard for me, this eating less/better thing. *sigh* I am at least exercising like I should be. 30 minutes to an hour a day. Weights and cardio. (weights every other day) I did have a slip up when I caved and took the kids to eat at Mazzio's the other day. I did however just order cheese pizza and I only had two peices. Let's not add in the cinnamon stick with chocolate frosting I had too....

Shameless brag post

Okay, this may make some of you gag, but I have to brag on my girl child. Report cards came in today and i just could not be more proud!!

Reading: 98

Math: 99

Spelling: 100

Writing: 93

Music/art: S

PE: 100

Conduct: 100/S

Seriously... I just couldn't squeeze her enough over this!! I told her an ice cream trip is in her future for working so incredibly hard all Semester. I was even happier when I read a print out attached to her report card. Highlighted in yellow it says: "This student's Grade Equivalent score is 2.5. His or her reading skills are therefore comparable to those of an average second grader after the fifth month of the school year. Madison also achieved a national Percentile Rank of 91. This score is in the above-average range and means that Madison scored greater than 91% of students nationally in the same grade."

I warned you... shameless brag post. I really AM just so proud! Thankfully I'm a seasoned enough mother to realize this has nothing to do with me, or the great mother that I am. lol I'm sure one or both of my boys will be in a totally other percentile when they get to first grade, and that's fine. :) But, for today, I'm basking in her glory!

So ready for summer

I know, I know... it's not even close to summer yet. But man oh man I am so excited just imagining it! The past two days of warm (yet really yucky and humid) weather have me itching to do outdoorsy things again. I can't wait to get Sam in the baby pool, to take Madison and Carter to swimming lessons, to use our new HUGE blow up water slide, to go to Magic Springs a million times, and to just hang out, not worry about getting up for school, letting the kids pick which pair of flip flops they want to wear outside to play... I could go on and on! I LOVE summer! Last summer I didn't love so much. But, being 8 and 9 months pregnant will do that to you. I was just HOT. Hot no matter what. Hot in the house, hot outside, hot getting dressed, hot taking a shower, hot trying to eat... you get the idea. It got so bad that I kept jackets pulled out for my girlfriends when they'd all come over to visit. Everyone insisted it was freezing in the house, but I just couldn't believe that to be true when sweat was rolling down my face. This summer, however, I won't be pregnant (not in my plans anyway!) and I won't have a newborn. That means FUN ALL AROUND! I get to pull out my favorite outfits of jeans, tank tops, and all ranges of sandals. I get to buy popsicles for the kids to eat outside and laugh at the messy faces they have. We can have friends over anytime we want because a lot of our friends are teachers, or homeschoolers, so they're free too. Perfect! I'm like a child waiting for Christmas. I keep telling myself, "It's already January. In 3 months it'll be April, and that's when the warm weather usually hits!" I CAN'T WAIT! It's going to be so great. :)

I'm going to do it!

So, the holidays are over, spring is just 3 months away, and in a few more months the "I just had a baby" excuse is going to sound quite silly. Yep, I'm doing it. I'm back in action! Sickness, no sleep, and holiday goodies had me down and defeated for a while, but I'm back up and rearing to go! I'm GOING to lose these last 10 pounds. I've pulled out ALL of my exercise videos. From kickboxing to Pilates, from step aerobics to yoga. I've been doing one a night for the past 3 nights and will do the same here on out, just like I did pre trying to get pregnant and pre having the miracle baby. Time to get back to me again. I feel SO good already. Just taking 30 minutes to an hour a day to exercise.. all for ME! Every mom should do it. It's amazing what an attitude change it gives me and how energized I am. I literally drag myself to the dvd player to pop something in... dreading each workout. "I'm sooo.... tired." "I only got 3 hours of sleep, total, last night." "It's just going to make me more hungry...." But, low and behold, as soon as I finish I feel FAB-U-LOUS! It's hard finding the time, I won't lie to ya. Clayton's back on working as much overtime as possible (paying off credit cards is our top priority right now... we're really doing great too!) so I'm here alone with the kids A LOT. But, once I get Sam down for a nap I banish the kids from my workout area and threaten them with their lives if they wake the baby or fight with each other or otherwise interrupt me during MY 30 minutes. Ahh... bliss. I've thrown away almost all of the junk food in the house. I just have a few plain M&M's on hand for emergencies. (which come up at least once a day... but a handful does the trick!) Adding more protein to my diet, and back to organic and natural foods. White stuff is being phased out again. (much to my husband's dismay) Tonight I made tacos and was thrilled to discover that Wally World now carries a whole wheat tortilla wrap and it's delicious!! I could eat them plain to be honest. I'll slowly replace most beef with turkey. Apple slices with peanut butter will replace crackers with cheese. So, if you see me in the produce section, look out! I'm on a mission. I get serious around grapes, cucumbers, apples, and celery! And, if you notice that I'm slowly shrinking down to my old self, don't hesitate to give me a pat on the back. Seriously... it's HARD to get into a healthy lifestyle again and anyone that succeeds at it deserves a hug or something. I'll make sure to give you one if you follow my lead and do the same! Come on... I'll do it with you! I'm full of good healthy living advice, even if I don't always follow it myself. lol

I'm No Fun..

... at theme parks. Unless you need a sitter for your kids, then you'll LOVE taking me along. I realized that i never posted about our weekend trip we took to Hot Springs back in October and our visit to Magic Springs. (which was SO awesome... our first time going!) Here's Clayton, all alone on this ride that shoots you into the air and back down over and over again. Forget that! No way am I getting on something like that! Thankfully he couldn't try to beg or force me to since it was just the two of us and the three kids. Someone had to stay below with the children and I gladly accepted that challenge! I could barely take this picture of him I was so nervous. Yes, even watching him do the rides made me nearly throw up. I kept asking, "Are you sure you want to do this ride? Really? Why?!" He did everything.. all of the fast ones, big ones, loopty-loop ones, back and forth, here-there-and-everywhere ones... all of 'em. I watched in horror at them all. He even got Madison on a pretty scary ride that she was just big enough for. She got off saying how much she hated it and she was "never doing that again!" She is quite the daredevil though.. she did a lot of stuff I thought she'd be afraid on, with Daddy right by her side. Carter is more like me... he kept saying things were "too high" and "too fast" and "too scary." Yes my son, they are. I'm sure we'll go a few times this coming summer... we've yet to see the water park and all of the thrills and chills it holds. I'll be in the wading pool with my two boys in their life jackets while Clayton and Madison go down all of the slides and rides. Amazing how they scream with joy the entire way down, while I'd be screaming my head off just KNOWING I was falling to my demise. Maybe one day I'll understand how feeling your stomach in your throat and having no control over your own body falling and sliding is fun. Until that day comes... you can find me in the lazy river or with my hands over my face peeking through my fingers at the bottom of whatever ride my husband is climbing onto.

Divorce: Thumbs Down

I'll preface this post by saying that I mean no judgement of any of you that have gotten divorced... this is just from the life of someone who grew up with parents divorced and is STILL dealing with life after it. Of all the reasons not to get divorced... as of this week my number one would be b/c it makes your ADULT children's lives INSANE. Instead of Clayton and I having two sets of parents to visit between us.. we have four. FOUR. Add to that that both of our siblings spouse's' parents are also divorced, and you're looking at a virtually impossible feat to get together with "your" family for any holiday all at the same time. We'll be having our fourth round of Christmas tomorrow here at our house with my Dad and stepmother and my sister and brother-in-law and nephews. I am DONE celebrating. I am DONE cooking and cleaning. I am DONE finding places to put the presents that everyone is so thoughtful to buy. I keep worrying that I'm forgetting some part of the family that we still have to find time to go visit or have over that's going to come out of the woodwork any minute now. Don't get me wrong.. I love my family. I love entertaining them and going to visit them. What I don't love is that all of that overshadows the joy that SHOULD be the holiday season. (any holiday season) Thankfully this year we put our foot (feet) down and had Clayton's mom and her family come here to see us and also my dad and his family. This is the first year we've refused to drive to see each of them individually. Thankfully they're very understanding and just want to do what's easiest for us... no big deal for them to drive to us this year. (new tradition in the making!) So, if you decide you just can't stand your spouse anymore... that you would rather stick hot pokers under your fingernails than hear them breathe... just think of all of the gas money you're saving your children in the future by sticking it out!

Merry Christmas!

Finally sat the kids down for some quick Christmas pics. They did really well! I was so happy to get some good ones.

This picture, Clayton and I decided, is so fitting for the three of them. There's Carter, the never-ending goofball. Then Princess Madison perfectly posed and smiling. Last, but not least, little Samuel, the cute and sweet baby. It will be interesting to see if these three posers change their poses as the years go by. Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!!

Happy Post

I couldn't think of anything to blog about, but wanted to blog, so here's just a happy post. Some things that have made me happy lately.... because I know you all are dying to know what floats my boat!

* Samuel's 6 month checkup went well today. One shot (I delay vaccinations a bit), a clean bill of health, and confirmation that I'm not crazy, he really is that big. (90% still... no wonder he's outgrowing EVERYTHING.)

*Carter loves to read finally. He brings me books constantly. I was worried he'd never like to read!

* Christmas is right around the corner! We start celebrating this weekend with my mom and sister and family... yippie!

* I lost another pound... WOOT!

* My husband is back home!

* He did dishes, swept the kitchen, did laundry, and put away random things in our room while I was with Samuel at the doctor's this morning. Told ya he's the best!

* I have Parent Group tonight. It's like free therapy. My kids and husband have no idea how happy they should be that I've attended this all of these years.

* I got to see "silly me" and her kids for the first time in FOREVER last week. Makes me miss them more... got to get back there soon.

* Football season will be over soon... Praise the Lord I won't have to watch NFL anymore SOON!

* I met two other moms with three small children at the dr's office this morning and they seemed to love and enjoy their children.

* I feel like, for the first time in a long time, I might actually be almost to the place God wants me to be. I say "almost" b/c we can never really be "there"... but I'm trying and feeling good about life and myself again. I found the Joy again!

* Madison's Christmas party at school is this Thursday and she's so thrilled that I'm coming. Her friends all know me and seem to think we're all just neat. (some of the kids are always freaked out by Clayton.. if he shows up to eat lunch with her in uniform some of the kids look like they want to hide under the table) I love being able to go to all of her school stuff. Makes me feel so "mom-ish."

* I got to see a picture of Maury and her family hanging on 'silly me's' fridge while visiting and it was funny b/c it made me really realize that she's a real person... not just a name on the internet. (beautiful family those Drapers' are!)

* I'm letting go of all of my baby clothes. Okay, so I'm not necessarily happy about this, it down right breaks my heart, but i'm TRYING to get happy about it so here it is on the happy post!

*I gave a ton of Madison's clothes to a good friend and it made me happy to see how happy it made her. (and her kids! dress up time!)

* You people read my blog even though I don't know why. I don't think I'm interesting at all so thanks for always showing up to see what random rambling post I've put up. Your comments make my day. (and I don't know why that is either... lol)

More free advertising

Here is Sam in the Ergo... now almost stable enough to ride on my back. He definitely likes being facing me tummy to tummy better (closer to the groceries) but I can see that this back hold is going to be great in the future! The one disadvantage to the back hold with an infant is they have total access to your hair... even if you pull it up those little hands grab it! This is something we'll work out when toddlerhood is here. All of you Ergo users, what age did you start using the back hold more than the front hold? And, does anyone like the hip hold? Samuel isn't quite big enough for that yet, but I tried it anyway and it wasn't all that comfortable.. maybe when he's bigger?

Look at me!

My little Samuel is 6 months old today. He's starting to sit up with some help from the beloved Boppy and his favorite past time is eating. Eating ANYTHING.. milk, baby food, bits of my food... whatever he's allowed to put into his mouth basically. Amazingly he's just getting longer right now, not fatter. I think he's growing faster than his weight can keep up with! He's closing in on a size 9-12 month, which I don't own in winter clothes so that's what he's getting for Christmas. You really shouldn't have to buy new baby clothes your third time around!

He's such a talented baby... he says scooting forwards is for the birds.. he's all about pushing himself backwards, and then screaming at the toy that he's trying to get to, but keeps getting farther away from. Poor thing. Being a baby must be so stressful. No teeth yet... but with a ton of drool, biting, and crying here and there I'm guessing any day now he'll pop one or two out.

He's still content and happy most of the time. He's the most social of all of my babies... loves anyone that will hold him, usually. He laughs, and laughs, and laughs all day long. Just saying the words "Peek-a-boo!" to him gets a laugh. No hiding required. Madison is sure to spoil him rotten as he grows up. She says to me more and more, "Samuel is such a cute baby! I don't want him to get any bigger!" *sigh* Yes, I know.. me either. I thought that about each of the kids. Good thing they've gotten to be so much fun in their older ages to make up for the other stuff that comes along with having an older child.

So here's the littlest Moss... half a year old already. Time goes too quickly.

Ain't No Other Man

For more reasons than I'll bore you with today, I just wanted to say how proud I am of my husband. He's always being recognized at his job for being outstanding, always being picked for "special assignments", and it seems like everyone he works with, and even arrests, just really respect him and think he's such a nice guy. (which he is) He's going to be gone on a special assignment this week.. and though I'm really going to miss him, I'm so excited for this oppertunity for him and so proud that he got chosen to do it. How did I get so lucky? How did I get to be the woman God chose to be with him? To have three beautiful children with him? I tell him all of the time that he needs to ask his parents what they did to raise him to be who he is today, and DO THAT with our boys! It seems all too rare to find boys and men today that are respectful, have good manners, hold their tongues, and actually enjoy being with their families. His little girl looks at him like he's the sun and the moon. He looks at her with fear of what's to come... a daddy's love can hardly handle knowing what the future might hold! Our boys look up to him and are hopefully learning how you can be both tough and loving. I look to him as my rock, my always consistent stability. If he says things are okay, I'm like a child believing that they really are. So, enough of the mushiness I guess... I'm just thinking of these things knowing I'm about to be without him for a while and knowing I'm going to miss him like crazy. Pray for my peace while he's away!

by the way, for you unhip folks, the title of my post comes from a newer Christina Aguilara (sp?) song with that title that I've labled "my song" for Clayton.

So grown up

When did my baby girl turn into a big girl? When did running and giggling with her girlfriends become more fun than running and giggling with me? When did the little boys in her class start to think she was just as beautiful as I do? More importantly, where did she learn to say "Not until I'm a teenager" when a boy tried to kiss her in school? (that's my girl!) She skips around totally unaware of what a stunningly beautiful child she is. She has no idea that she's one of the smartest kids on earth. She doesn't realize that when I see her with many of her friends from school, I just notice "something" amazingly different about her. She's still too young to understand why she gets in trouble for pouting in public, but she's old enough now to think it odd when she sees other children do the same. I get sad as I watch her grow, her sweet innocence slowly fading away. One day she'll understand things about boys, war, friends, and life that I never wanted to her understand. But, for now, I'm so happy to have my little girl just be little. I'm holding on to bedtime stories, drawing books together, having to tell her to put clothes on because she still lacks modesty most of the time, picking out her clothes, pulling up her hair, laughing at "that part" in her favorite kid movie, and her thinking that I am the best person on the planet. She still misses me when she's at school during the day, she still gets excited every single day when she sees me pulling up to get her. One day she'll drive herself and probably won't want to come home until she must... her friends will be the only thing on her mind. Her outfit that SHE picked out will be ruling her thoughts. She'll go through phases of thinking she hates me because I won't let her go "here" or wear "that".... but she'll grow up and realize, like we all do from time to time, that I was right. (one can hope) So, here's to my little girl.. that's slowly slipping into a realm of big girlness that I'm not sure I'm ready for. I'm just clinging to this phase of life with her as long as I can.

*Madison and two friends at her 6th bday party... madison on the left

Yes, I am... still

Doesn't it always happen right around the 6 month mark? The oh so dreaded, "Are you still nursing him?" Okay people... this isn't directed to ANYONE that reads my blog, so don't feel attacked lol.. but I'm getting this more and more from some family and even STRANGERS! Sheesh! Mind ya biz-nez! I just don't get it... the AAP says babies should be breastfed for one year... The WHO (World Health Organization) says TWO years is the minimum to shoot for... so what's up America?! And what am I supposed to do... wean him from the breast to buy formula for the next 6 and 1/2 months? Seriously? Why? (yes, this is what people think you are SUPPOSED to do.. weird) I found a shirt online that says in big bold print "Yes, I'm still nursing" for babies.. I'm so gonna buy it in the next few months! lol Just a heads up you all... don't be shocked if I'm still nursing a while from now. I shoot for about two years... yeah, I'm in serious "pervert" "weirdo" "sicko" land there aren't I? I figure it goes well with my cosleeping, organic buying, no spanking, baby wearing, no crying it out self... might as well throw as much 'weird' stuff together in my parenting bag as i can, right? I think my new responce to anyone who thinks it's strange that I'm still breastfeeding now is going to be, "wow, if you think it's weird now, you're really going to be freaked out to see this when he's 5!"