I posted this a little over a month ago, and boy that has been a tough month! I think I've entered the "I'm sick of this and I want to go shopping" phase of getting out of debt. Hmmph. This is hard.
This week, for example, Clayton has training in Little Rock so the kids and I decided to come up to see him. While he's in class all day, the kids and I are at my mom's... so close to Little Rock. So close to shopping, eating out, fun-fun-fun! Thankfully, Nana has a pretty fun house so we're busy here.. but I could really have a good time at Park Plaza right now...
Then, I remind myself of the land I want, the house I want, and all that jazz. Not gonna get it spending money on eating out and new clothes. (working on figuring out a method of shopping that somehow pays off debt...)
Clayton did take me out on the town last night with some good friends and we had a blast. I think it was what we both needed! It's kind of like when someone goes on an insane crash diet, eats way too little and never even has a taste of the junk food they really want, then they go nuts eating 3 times what they normally would have and gain back all of the weight they just lost. I figure as long as we just keep "tasting" spending money and avoid going nuts with it, we'll be able to keep this pace of paying off debt.
It's slow but steady. Every now and then I'll have an exceptionally good month with work and we'll be able to put more towards it, and boy that feels great! Typically, we just keep chopping away at it and hope that we'll get to our "we can look at houses now" goal sooner than later. Patience is a virtue that I tend to lack in this area. If there is anything that God can use to help us learn trust, patience, and contentment, it's paying off debt!!
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Monday, July 06, 2009
Room Re-Do Part 2
My bestest friend Lee Ann came over today to help me tackle painting Madison's room! Thank God for good friends because, with Clayton away all week, I could have never done this job on my own! (without killing all of my children and losing my mind, that is.)
So, here are some pictures! The blue painters tape is still up, but the brown paint we chose, to match the pink and brown bedding that's being shipped to us, is all finished! I LOVE it and madison does too! I still need to paint Madison's closet doors white (they're primed and ready at least) and decorations are yet to be found - but this huge job is done! Scroll down a few post to remember what it looked like just a few days ago, vs. today! More pictures to come once it is totally finished.
So, here are some pictures! The blue painters tape is still up, but the brown paint we chose, to match the pink and brown bedding that's being shipped to us, is all finished! I LOVE it and madison does too! I still need to paint Madison's closet doors white (they're primed and ready at least) and decorations are yet to be found - but this huge job is done! Scroll down a few post to remember what it looked like just a few days ago, vs. today! More pictures to come once it is totally finished.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Happily Ever After
In a few months Clayton and I will be celebrating our 9th anniversary - it's amazing how quickly the years have flown by. He has been my sweetheart since I was 14, and it's been quite an adventure!
Sometimes I think back to those fun and free dating years. When the long distance separating us meant that we anxiously awaited phone calls, emails, and letters in the mail. It broke my heart each Sunday night to kiss him goodbye, as we each drove to our separate destinations. Knowing it would be a whopping 5 days until I could see him again got more difficult as the dating years went by. By the time I was 16, I just did not feel like me unless I was with him. He had my heart.
Fast forward to today. 8.5 years of marriage, three kids, one fish, one cat, and numerous dogs later... life sure has a way of changing things!
Many years ago, I could never understand how a couple could let their children take over their lives. Live for their kids first, and their relationship second. Then, we had more children. Kids simply need a lot, especially the little kind. Me being me... no matter how difficult it was at times, I still loved (and love) almost every bit of it. From the crying infant stage all the way to the 8yr old stage I've reached today - there's yet to be an age that I haven't been completely joyful about. (could do without the 2 and 3 year old tantrums, though...) Being that I'm "one of those women" that truly thrives on the chaos of kids, it's no surprise that I'd simply have a house more full of them if I could. My hubby.. not so much.
Then you hit a crossroads. I want more "one day" and he's done. Wow.. what a tough spot to be in. Neither can help how they feel, neither wants to budge in those feelings. Who wins this battle?
I spent much time in grief over this issue.. my life's desire is to be a mom of MANY children. Since I was a young girl I dreamed of having 4, 5, 6 kids. Shockingly, that dream never went away, even once life's realities hit. (and even when I realized that having a baby does "that" to your body... ugh..) I admit I spent a bit of time feeling angry that I was being asked to give this up for the happiness of my spouse. "Aren't I entitled to my life's desires?!"
Then, I got my head and heart where it should be.. on my knees before my God. I begged, at first, "Please change Clayton!" for this is what God is sadly used to me screaming when I first begin to pray. Then, as the weeks passed, and the conversations were had, and the prayers were continued, I felt God telling me to just "let go." I stumbled upon some old pictures of us when we were dating. I remembered why it was I always wanted to spend my life with this man. Because I love him. I love him. I didn't long to have him as my life's partner because of what he could give to me (kids, money, houses, clothes, happiness...) I longed for him because.. I just did.
Knowing that my loving husband would agree to more children to keep me 'happy' pushed me more to do what was right for our marriage. What was right for him and therefore ultimately right for our family. I "let go." God has it, God has us, God has me and he knows my heart. I realized that a very selfish part of me would take him up on having more kids... but the rest of me realized that it could be life changing in a very horrible way. In a way that I might be putting a happy marriage on the line for a life's dream... and no dream is worth our marriage.
Now, the kids are growing older each day. They are becoming both harder and easier all at the same time. (I think my parents warned me that would happen..) The day in which we can leave them with the grandparents to take a week long trip to "wherever" is closer and closer. More time for us is right around the corner, and has already been started around a year ago. Our one night away trip right now will soon become two, then more. I can really get excited about "dating" my husband again! This is what he longs for. How amazing.. my husband simply wants more of me for him. I am a very lucky woman in so many ways. So very blessed, even though it took me many weeks to see it through my sadness. I am so blessed that God has given me peace and that we can continue to build our marriage more and more and provide our children with an amazing, stable, and loving home.
I hesitated to post something so very personal, but I know I am not alone in such a huge marital decision. Perhaps another woman or man will find something in this post that they can relate to. Perhaps someone needed a gentle reminder of why they married their spouse... for them. In life, we just have to decide to create our own happy endings and our own "happily ever afters..." With Christ's help.. we can find joy in our lives in any situation! He is so great and so good.. he can fill the voids that you can never fill on your own. The voids that you think your spouse, your friends, or your family, (your kids), should fill... and then you can be free to just love! What an amazing gift!
Sometimes I think back to those fun and free dating years. When the long distance separating us meant that we anxiously awaited phone calls, emails, and letters in the mail. It broke my heart each Sunday night to kiss him goodbye, as we each drove to our separate destinations. Knowing it would be a whopping 5 days until I could see him again got more difficult as the dating years went by. By the time I was 16, I just did not feel like me unless I was with him. He had my heart.
Fast forward to today. 8.5 years of marriage, three kids, one fish, one cat, and numerous dogs later... life sure has a way of changing things!
Many years ago, I could never understand how a couple could let their children take over their lives. Live for their kids first, and their relationship second. Then, we had more children. Kids simply need a lot, especially the little kind. Me being me... no matter how difficult it was at times, I still loved (and love) almost every bit of it. From the crying infant stage all the way to the 8yr old stage I've reached today - there's yet to be an age that I haven't been completely joyful about. (could do without the 2 and 3 year old tantrums, though...) Being that I'm "one of those women" that truly thrives on the chaos of kids, it's no surprise that I'd simply have a house more full of them if I could. My hubby.. not so much.
Then you hit a crossroads. I want more "one day" and he's done. Wow.. what a tough spot to be in. Neither can help how they feel, neither wants to budge in those feelings. Who wins this battle?
I spent much time in grief over this issue.. my life's desire is to be a mom of MANY children. Since I was a young girl I dreamed of having 4, 5, 6 kids. Shockingly, that dream never went away, even once life's realities hit. (and even when I realized that having a baby does "that" to your body... ugh..) I admit I spent a bit of time feeling angry that I was being asked to give this up for the happiness of my spouse. "Aren't I entitled to my life's desires?!"
Then, I got my head and heart where it should be.. on my knees before my God. I begged, at first, "Please change Clayton!" for this is what God is sadly used to me screaming when I first begin to pray. Then, as the weeks passed, and the conversations were had, and the prayers were continued, I felt God telling me to just "let go." I stumbled upon some old pictures of us when we were dating. I remembered why it was I always wanted to spend my life with this man. Because I love him. I love him. I didn't long to have him as my life's partner because of what he could give to me (kids, money, houses, clothes, happiness...) I longed for him because.. I just did.
Knowing that my loving husband would agree to more children to keep me 'happy' pushed me more to do what was right for our marriage. What was right for him and therefore ultimately right for our family. I "let go." God has it, God has us, God has me and he knows my heart. I realized that a very selfish part of me would take him up on having more kids... but the rest of me realized that it could be life changing in a very horrible way. In a way that I might be putting a happy marriage on the line for a life's dream... and no dream is worth our marriage.
Now, the kids are growing older each day. They are becoming both harder and easier all at the same time. (I think my parents warned me that would happen..) The day in which we can leave them with the grandparents to take a week long trip to "wherever" is closer and closer. More time for us is right around the corner, and has already been started around a year ago. Our one night away trip right now will soon become two, then more. I can really get excited about "dating" my husband again! This is what he longs for. How amazing.. my husband simply wants more of me for him. I am a very lucky woman in so many ways. So very blessed, even though it took me many weeks to see it through my sadness. I am so blessed that God has given me peace and that we can continue to build our marriage more and more and provide our children with an amazing, stable, and loving home.
I hesitated to post something so very personal, but I know I am not alone in such a huge marital decision. Perhaps another woman or man will find something in this post that they can relate to. Perhaps someone needed a gentle reminder of why they married their spouse... for them. In life, we just have to decide to create our own happy endings and our own "happily ever afters..." With Christ's help.. we can find joy in our lives in any situation! He is so great and so good.. he can fill the voids that you can never fill on your own. The voids that you think your spouse, your friends, or your family, (your kids), should fill... and then you can be free to just love! What an amazing gift!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Room Re-Do
This morning I got an insane urge to reorganize Madison's room. Her room has been EXACTLY the same since we bought our house 4 years ago. She's been begging to change her room, so I figured we'd at least toss out a lot of trash and old toys and move some furniture around. Mid-way through getting EVERYTHING out to sort, I figured I should really document this with photos!
Now, I must say that Madison's room is typically very clean. She's great about keeping everything put in its place. This disaster was totally ME. You know.. sometimes you have to create a mega mess in order to clean up!
This is the kids' 'game place.' They sit here and eat, drag every video game out, and play during down time. I HATE this space. This is a second closet in her room and we didn't need it for closet space, so we kinda just left it. We figured one day we'd turn it into something cute. I'm ready for that day!
Here is the 'sort of' after shot. I put her bed in the closet nuk and plan to paint the walls back there soon. First, Madison and I are going to pick out new bedding for her bed, then we'll paint the closet to match.
The new game area is where her bed was. My plan is to pick out bedding, and find a complementary color to the pink already on her walls to paint just under the chair rail. So, leave the top part pink, but change the bottom color. We'll see what we can come up with. I'm thinking some shade of green (not green-green... but a variety there of) to go with the pink. I'm seeing pink and green put together everywhere lately and am growing fond of it! With it being so in style, shouldn't be hard to find bedding to match! The all pink is sort of babyish... so my daughter has lately explained to me..
You should see how much stuff I took out of this room! We have a ton of really cute stuffed animals (like the big My Little Pony stuffed ponies) and other great toys that she NEVER played with. If anyone would like to take a peek, you are free to take ANYTHING YOU WANT for free! You, of course, could always give a donation to our dog rescue if you wanted, but no obligation. You'd be helping me just by taking it! I also have a lot of little girl books (even a potty training book for girls) that I'm giving away. Gotta get rid of some of this stuff. It's amazing what one child can accumulate in 8yrs of life!
Now, I must say that Madison's room is typically very clean. She's great about keeping everything put in its place. This disaster was totally ME. You know.. sometimes you have to create a mega mess in order to clean up!
This is the kids' 'game place.' They sit here and eat, drag every video game out, and play during down time. I HATE this space. This is a second closet in her room and we didn't need it for closet space, so we kinda just left it. We figured one day we'd turn it into something cute. I'm ready for that day!
Here is the 'sort of' after shot. I put her bed in the closet nuk and plan to paint the walls back there soon. First, Madison and I are going to pick out new bedding for her bed, then we'll paint the closet to match.
The new game area is where her bed was. My plan is to pick out bedding, and find a complementary color to the pink already on her walls to paint just under the chair rail. So, leave the top part pink, but change the bottom color. We'll see what we can come up with. I'm thinking some shade of green (not green-green... but a variety there of) to go with the pink. I'm seeing pink and green put together everywhere lately and am growing fond of it! With it being so in style, shouldn't be hard to find bedding to match! The all pink is sort of babyish... so my daughter has lately explained to me..
You should see how much stuff I took out of this room! We have a ton of really cute stuffed animals (like the big My Little Pony stuffed ponies) and other great toys that she NEVER played with. If anyone would like to take a peek, you are free to take ANYTHING YOU WANT for free! You, of course, could always give a donation to our dog rescue if you wanted, but no obligation. You'd be helping me just by taking it! I also have a lot of little girl books (even a potty training book for girls) that I'm giving away. Gotta get rid of some of this stuff. It's amazing what one child can accumulate in 8yrs of life!It's fun to start a new project! Gotta get up the nerve to settle on a paint color and get that done. I'm NOT good with changes like that so wish me luck!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Defense Attorneys
This morning I watched a bit of a segment on the Today Show that featured a defense attorney for Casey Anthony - the woman accused of murdering her daughter Cailee Anthony. I only watched a small bit because I couldn't help but feel sick to my stomach over the whole ordeal. All of the evidence seems to point directly to that poor baby's mother killing her, and it's just too difficult to watch that stuff sometimes. Not to mention the sliminess of the person defending Casey.
Sometimes I wonder if the original point of defense attorneys has been lost in our Judicial System today. A defense attorney is there to make sure that you get a fair trial, that evidence is only allowed if it should be, that you have a fair shot at explaining your side. (guilty or not.)
Today, however, it seems that defense attorney's now believe it is there job to help criminals get dismissed from any wrong-doings they have done. They question law-enforcement officers in ways that are designed to trick juries, they batter and abuse children on the stand in front of their rapists and molesters in order to trip them up, they use tactics to try to make the case about anything other than the actual crime in question. Now, of course, not all defense attorneys are this way - I know that for sure, but isn't this accurate of what most of us have witnessed over the past several years?
I've seen, personally, criminals get off scott free from crimes they certainly committed due to defense attorney tactics. Where's the justice in that? How can they live with themselves knowing that they are putting drug dealers, drunk drivers, molesters, rapists, burglars, and killers right back onto the same streets in which you and I live?
Is this their job? What do you think?
Sometimes I wonder if the original point of defense attorneys has been lost in our Judicial System today. A defense attorney is there to make sure that you get a fair trial, that evidence is only allowed if it should be, that you have a fair shot at explaining your side. (guilty or not.)
Today, however, it seems that defense attorney's now believe it is there job to help criminals get dismissed from any wrong-doings they have done. They question law-enforcement officers in ways that are designed to trick juries, they batter and abuse children on the stand in front of their rapists and molesters in order to trip them up, they use tactics to try to make the case about anything other than the actual crime in question. Now, of course, not all defense attorneys are this way - I know that for sure, but isn't this accurate of what most of us have witnessed over the past several years?
I've seen, personally, criminals get off scott free from crimes they certainly committed due to defense attorney tactics. Where's the justice in that? How can they live with themselves knowing that they are putting drug dealers, drunk drivers, molesters, rapists, burglars, and killers right back onto the same streets in which you and I live?
Is this their job? What do you think?
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Most Dreaded House Chores
a small portion of the yard I've never mowed Typically, I greatly enjoy cleaning my house. I turn up some music, sing as though no one can hear me, and become just giddy knowing that soon I will sit back and look at my gleaming home. Ahh... nothing like getting project "clean house" accomplished.
There are tasks that I do without even thinking about them. They are constant jobs that I do each day and I neither love doing them nor dislike digging right in. You know the ones: dishes, laundry, cleaning the counters and floors... the things you just must do each day to keep things going.
Then, there are the handful of jobs that I put off, avoid, or simply refuse to do. We all have different jobs that make us feel this way - but they are there none-the-less. Here is my list.
Jobs I Put Off - will do them but put them off as long as possible
1. Dusting - what a project! Take everything off, clean it all, clean the shelves, put it all back. I could do four, more enjoyable, jobs in the same time this takes.
2. Cleaning the Bathtub - Back-breaking, Sciatic-Nerve-Aggravating, job! Love how it looks when finished but I put it off until I simply know I MUST do it.
3. Mopping - Necessary in this house once or twice a week.. but I just hate doing it. Love the smell of the house and the feel of the floor on my bare feet when it is finished, but do not enjoy this one in the least.
Jobs I Avoid - Jobs I pray Clayton will do before it becomes necessary for me to.
1. Cleaning the Microwave - Oh-My-Goodness. I have no idea why I hate this job so much... I just do. I think I have some weird fear that I'll end up getting zapped while using liquids in the microwave or something.. it just makes me uneasy. Not to mention the chili that my husband allowed to explode in there... why should I clean that mess, hu?
2. Organizing the Desk - Our desk is the catch-all of our house. One reason I avoid cleaning it is because Clayton has all kinds of super important State Police papers stacked a mile high on it. Another reason is because he also has papers dealing with other random things stacked a mile high on it. Simply put - it is much too overwhelming. Thankfully, Clayton cleans it if I ask him to or if it bothers him.
Jobs I Refuse to Do - not gonna do it - don't even ask.
1. Mow the Yard - Seriously? Ain't happening. That's a man's job if I ever saw one...
2. Clean Ceiling Fans - They're too high, I'm too short... again, man's work.
3. Take the Trash Out - **see reason #1**
I think that's about it. I typically take care of all of the inside work (minus cleaning ceiling fans and microwaves) and Clayton takes care of outside work. (including anything that is inside but ends up outside, such as the trash.) Any other jobs, (laundry, dishes, cleaning floors and counters, and general CONSTANT clean-up) I'm all over them! I can clean up a spilled bowl of cereal one second and move right to figuring out how to remove gum from my living room carpet the next. I'm a mom.. that's what I do!
What are some of the weird jobs that you hate to do or refuse to do around your homestead?
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