Friday, December 28, 2007

Divorce: Thumbs Down

Posted by Mandy at 5:23 PM
I'll preface this post by saying that I mean no judgement of any of you that have gotten divorced... this is just from the life of someone who grew up with parents divorced and is STILL dealing with life after it. Of all the reasons not to get divorced... as of this week my number one would be b/c it makes your ADULT children's lives INSANE. Instead of Clayton and I having two sets of parents to visit between us.. we have four. FOUR. Add to that that both of our siblings spouse's' parents are also divorced, and you're looking at a virtually impossible feat to get together with "your" family for any holiday all at the same time. We'll be having our fourth round of Christmas tomorrow here at our house with my Dad and stepmother and my sister and brother-in-law and nephews. I am DONE celebrating. I am DONE cooking and cleaning. I am DONE finding places to put the presents that everyone is so thoughtful to buy. I keep worrying that I'm forgetting some part of the family that we still have to find time to go visit or have over that's going to come out of the woodwork any minute now. Don't get me wrong.. I love my family. I love entertaining them and going to visit them. What I don't love is that all of that overshadows the joy that SHOULD be the holiday season. (any holiday season) Thankfully this year we put our foot (feet) down and had Clayton's mom and her family come here to see us and also my dad and his family. This is the first year we've refused to drive to see each of them individually. Thankfully they're very understanding and just want to do what's easiest for us... no big deal for them to drive to us this year. (new tradition in the making!) So, if you decide you just can't stand your spouse anymore... that you would rather stick hot pokers under your fingernails than hear them breathe... just think of all of the gas money you're saving your children in the future by sticking it out!

6 comments:

Maury Draper on Friday, 28 December, 2007 said...

Ha Ha! We have enough family to see....I can imagine having that much more! Clay's parents are divorced, but his dad never tried to see us on Christmas anymore, and luckily it does help that my parents live in the same town as his mom. And even that....I get tired of celebrating!

Mommatude on Saturday, 29 December, 2007 said...

We had 4 holidays...LOL,But it has been going on so long for me that I dont even think about it anymore.Jamies parents were still married as of the day that his dad passed away,but my parents have been divorced for 18 years now...so it has been two seperate christmas' for awhile for me at least,and of course when I split with Kendall's father that created another one...LOL!!!Of course,My mom always comes to us,and so do Kendalls fathers side...the only one we travel to is my Dad and he is just in Star City-so not too much driving.

thejoyfulchaos on Sunday, 30 December, 2007 said...

yep, putting your foot down is good thing! we've done it for the sake of our family!

Anonymous said...

Yes, it's much better to keep yourself and your spouse miserable so that other people won't be slightly inconvenienced.

Rosjuane on Sunday, 30 December, 2007 said...

I hate all the driving at Christmas too. We don't have divorced parents just out of town family. And his Nanny has always done Christmas on Christmas day. She live 3hrs away and wants us there for lunch or earlier. This was our last year. I put my foot down and said no more. It is just not fair to the kids not to get to play with their Santa!!

Brittany on Friday, 04 January, 2008 said...

I totally get where you're coming from. My grandparents (mom's parents) are divorced and remarried. I won't go into the details, but it was pretty nasty for a while. Now things have settled down (after 20 years they ought to) but it still makes things hard at Christmas. Especially figuring out who to buy gifts for. My grandpa has 2 step-kids that are closer to my age than my moms and they have small children. Oh and figuring out what to let Cayson call my step-grandparents is hard, too. Hang in there and I'm glad you put your foot down!

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