Bad Mommy Rehab

Hello, my name is Mandy, and I'm a Mommy Guilt-oholic.

But, I'm in rehab - if only for today.

Every Monday feel free to join in with Mommy Rehab! We spend enough time bashing ourselves, feeling guilty over every little thing, and comparing ourselves to other moms. Just for today, let's say one good mommy moment we've had!

I had a good mommy moment this morning. Go me!

It started with no less than 30 minutes of total "in-your-face" time with the kids. I admit that I planned this super-awesome quality time because I needed no less than 30 minutes of "not in my face" time to follow. I have all kinds of facts and quotes to sort through to write my next article. I have enough trouble with my train of thought derailing without having my shoulder tapped every 2 minutes.

So, what's the good mommy moment you're wondering?

Midway through reading a very important sheet for work, and just getting my wheels a'turnin as to how I'd present all of this stuff in a good read.... tap, tap, tap.

"Moomeeee...???" - Samuel (3yr old)

"Yeeesssss??" - Me

"Will you please read me this book?" - Samuel

I took a moment, fought my annoyance with the interruption, and said, "Well... okay!"

One book turned into about 15 (yes, really) and we had a grand time snuggling on the couch. He's so darn cute. :)

So - I put my sweetie-pie above some really important work today. Go me! Can't always do that... I do believe in teaching kids that the world doesn't revolve around them, but for today it just felt like the perfect time to abandon work to cuddle with my little guy.

Read the origin of this movement on B in Real Life! Get involved! Let's put an end to the mommy guilt!

Will My Hair Hold me Back?

I posted recently about how I accepted a part-time writing position for our local news website Monticello Live.  I have to say that so far I LOVE it. This is my kind of job! The hours are my kind of working hours (evenings usually) and they don't require me to be away from home much. I can do the 'real' work when I carve out time at home. Love it, love it, love it!

At one of the last meetings I attended (Quorum Court) I took a glance around.

"Do I stick out like a sore thumb?"

All around me were women, older than I am, probably 40x's smarter than I am, with these super cute, professional shorter hair styles.

"Hmmmmmm..."

I came home that evening to discuss my big hair concerns with my hubby.

"Does my long hair make me look stupid? You know.. like a kid? Like... I'm just here to try to look pretty and not to report on this meeting?"

My hair and I would like to quote you on that.

He was oh-so helpful when his response was basically, "Who cares.... I like your long hair... don't cut it off because of that."

Thanks sweetie.. really.

Since that night I've taken a look around nearly everywhere I go. Most professional women I encounter tend to have shorter hair styles.

I earn twice as much as that long-hair chic..

 I can only think of one friend of mine, off the top of my head, that works full-time and has long hair. Hi Lauren! Her gorgeous locks were the reason I grew mine back out again.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm loving my hair long right now. I've had it shorter for the past few years due to it being easier with little kids, but now, I'm enjoying my "princess" look as a friend's husband used to call it. Hi Amanda and Justin!

What do you think? Does a woman with long hair send a signal that she's not professional or as smart as her peers? Does shorter hair instantly make you appear more "together" in the work place? Perhaps I'm just over-thinking this.

They're Heeeeerrreeee...

We've all been sitting in wait for warm weather.... almost forgetting what the beautiful spring sunshine brings along with it.

SPRING FASHIONS!

Okay, so I'm sort of a closet fashionista. I REALLY like clothes. I also REALLY don't have too many that I love thanks to a job that requires me to roll around with dogs most days. Mix that with mommy-hood and my daily wardrobe lately has consisted of jeans and long-sleeved tees.

So, with spring right around the corner, my interest in clothes that I actually like to wear has hit its peek. This happens every year at this time. Goodbye sweaters! Goodbye Coats! Hello... oh my..

Hello tank tops and halters that show off my arms that look like.. like I've been wearing sweaters and coats for the past 3 months. Hmm.....

I was on one of my favorite websites - Oldnavy.com - and I was peeking around at the newest stuff for spring. Yes, I do find this thrilling. I get a rush of "Oh! I want that!" I also get a rush of, "Oh.. I need to workout more!"

I saw this super cute simple dress

I got all girly and had visions of this summer when I could throw this on with some cute sandals and a totally rockin' chunky necklace and run out of the door with my kids to go.. wherever. Then I started thinking in realistic terms. Seriously.. my arms are NOT ready for this big of a step.

Crap. Here we go.

Each spring I go through this. Those extra 5ish pounds (10ish.. whatever..) I let myself gain because I can hide behind clothes start to bug me. It's so difficult for me to eat less when it is dark and cold outside. Can't help it. It's nature or something, I swear.

With the sun beginning to shine, and a bit of warmth starting to come through - maybe, just maybe, now's the time to let my portion sizes decrease. Maybe.

I'm also in desperate need of a tan... I even contemplated the tanning bed. Shhh.. don't tell anyone. I'm such a "I don't want to get skin cancer" phobe that I don't know if I can really go through with it. But, it has entered my mind. I'd look a lot better in that cute yellow dress if I wasn't sporting around this ridiculously pastey white skin....

"Welcome Home!" Says the Mess

Oh yes, I am braving up and showing the entire world what I came home to this morning. This is quite typical for our household, if I can be frank. In the morning we spend our time talking, cooking, eating, getting dressed, fixing hair, packing lunches, and getting out of the door. There is just no time scheduled in for cleaning. That, my friends, is not on the roster until I arrive home, grocery sacks in hand.

In all honesty, on mornings that I know I have a big day ahead of me, or am tired from the previous busy day, coming home to a messy house feels like a ton of bricks being placed on my shoulders. I mean, it isn't like I can come home and ignore this disaster while I start on other projects. (my Type A personality just won't allow it.)

I've thought of having mandatory chore time before the kids leave for school in the mornings to make this challenge a bit less overwhelming for me... but it just doesn't work for us. That would require even earlier wake-up times, and they already have chores to do once they come home from being at school working all day. I'd rather their mornings be peaceful and relaxing.

So, I'm finally finding a groove of balancing working from home, being a mom, and keeping the house up. It's tough! This pictured room is one of the most visited places in our entire house, so I make it a priority in up-keep. I actually timed myself this morning to see how long it really takes me to clean up all of this junk - can you guess? From picking up to unloading and loading dishes, wiping counters, the table, and sweeping... drum roll please....... 15 minutes! If I wouldn't have had to sweep today, it probably would've been more like 10. That really isn't so bad, so I'm going to try to stop feeling so overwhelmed about it. Just get in, get it done, and move on with my day. Hope I've encouraged you to do the same!

Trials of Working from Home

When I started my venture of working from home a year ago, I imagined it would be pretty easy. I'd call clients when Samuel was asleep, I'd keep books after phone calls, and I'd go to do home training sessions when the husband was home to keep the kids. It would be perfect!

At first, it was just this way. I had very few clients to start and it made it really easy to keep everyone straight, visit everyone when they requested, and board their dogs every couple of months. No big deal!

Now, the bitter comes with the sweet! The sweet is that my business is rapidly expanding! It feels like I just woke up one morning and the phone was ringing constantly and my email was blowing up. Praise God! Dog boarding is in high demand and since I also do training, a lot of people love sending their "problem dogs" to my house when they're going out of town for a while in hopes that the dog will be better when they pick him up than when they left. (this leaves me realizing exactly why Cesar Millan always says, "I train people, not dogs..")

I'm having a blast traveling around southeast Arkansas doing in-home training sessions and getting to meet all kinds of people with all kinds of dogs. Being the social butterfly that I am, this is so perfect for me! I've gotten to train huge dogs and their owners and micro mini dogs and their owners... what job could be more fun?!

Then, there's the bitter. Working from home isn't as easy as I thought it would be. Especially with the big kids being home from school this summer. It never fails that a client calls me right in the middle of a fight between the two big kids, or a screaming fit from the toddler. Many of them I know well enough by now that I can answer and explain to them that I can definitely still listen to them while locked in the bathroom while the 2 year old screams outside of the door. Others, I just let it ring and call them back in a few minutes! (can I say how much I love email for this reason?)

Juggling everything at home can be really challenging, too. I feel like the second I put my schedule book or something of importance down on the desk, I go to grab it and it's been moved. This is my husband.. not my children. He is the king of moving things and not remembering where he put them. Lovely when someone calls and wants to know what days I'm available to come train their dogs...

I actually have had to take a break from dog walking over the past month and a half. Partly due to an injury I had from over-exerting myself, partly because you really cannot take 3 children to walk dogs for 2 hours straight.. or longer. I will revisit this part of my business in a week when school begins again.

So, I'm learning. I'm learning that I cannot do everything I'd like to do with my business and still be the mom I want to be. Something always has to give, and for me it's just going to have to be work. For now I can fit in training sessions when Clayton is home with the kids and dog boarding I can pretty much do anytime.

I'm learning how to be more organized with a business schedule. I've never really had to plan ahead my days quite as far as I'm doing right now. I need to know on Monday if we're going to plan to do anything that Saturday or the Saturday after in case someone wants weekend training or boarding. If you know my family, we are fairly spontaneous. We tend to decide to go just when the mood strikes. Now, we're having to become.. planners.

The hardest "at-home" job I have, however, is the job from church. I plan the lessons for the children to do during Sunday School each week. It takes several hours a week to put together two classes worth of work for the big kids and the preschool class.. and that's the hardest time to fit in. I like to dig into a project and stay there until it's finished. I just can't do this in this case. I'm having to learn to focus, un-focus, and then re-focus later. ACK! My poor brain is having to make connections it never dreamed possible...

I definitely would never trade working from home for working away. I love that I can drop everything to get kids from school, have an impromptu walk or bike ride, or fix snacks for the kids. I really feel like I've got the best of both worlds!

Do you have any work-at-home tips? Share them!

I Knew We Should've...

... made Christmas cards this year.

For whatever reason, we never got around to making Christmas cards to send out to friends and family. I would have been okay with this if it were not for the fact that we received a record number of cards from people this year. Our refrigerator is literally completely covered with cards, held by Leap Frog Fridge Magnets, on both of the double doors. It has been so fun to find one or two almost every single day in the mail! Some are from old friends that we haven't seen in a good while and some are from our really new friends - and we were so wonderfully surprised that they thought to send us one! Next year... for sure.. we will be hanging on someone else's fridge! All of you that were so nice to wish us a merry Christmas via cards this year... we will return the favor in the future.

Speaking of having a merry Christmas, I got another surprise this evening when I checked my work email. An article that I wrote around a month ago was purchased by a publisher... HOORAY! They have two more they are reviewing, and they would make it a very merry Christmas if they'd pick up at least one of 'em. I shall wait patiently and see, and try not to get my hopes up too high. You can never tell what these publishers will buy and what they will shove aside.

I've not had as much time lately to devote to writing, but I am making time for it again. Working at home can be extremely tough! I'm still learning the ins and outs of balancing playtime, housework time, cuddle time, and working time. Samuel's now routine afternoon nap is making things a lot easier... but I know plenty of you have had the work-at-home craziness, as well. One day... I will find a system that works.

Any tips for making working-at-home more manageable? Send them my way!

Sorry to Keep You Hanging

So, I lied when I said I'd post pics of the house "tomorrow." My hubby keeps running off to work with the digital camera and I keep forgetting to load the pics onto the computer when he's home. Eventually, I will share the pictures.

To change the subject totally, I must take my hat off to all moms that work at home. I never could have imagined what a challenge it was! I have been slowly entering into the world of becoming a writer. Yeah, like a real one. I'm even possibly going to look into going to school for 2-4 years for an English or Journalism major once I find my niche in writing and what I want long term for myself. (possibly major in one, minor in the other?) If any of you have majored in these areas, give me some love and tell me what classes it would entail and what kind of work is necessary. None of these life changing things would happen until Samuel goes to Pre-K. So three years from now. (unless I find a great online course that transfers college credits to a college of my choice... we shall see.)

In the meantime, I am actually being published and getting paid for articles I have written. I am stunned to be honest. I've always been a "writer" at heart. As a little girl I had to have a journal from the time I could spell out words to form a sentence. I wrote down everything. My thoughts, what happened that day, my fears, and fictional stories to boot. I was probably the only teenager in high school to love those mandatory essays we had to write. For some reason, I find it exciting to get a topic that I know little about, research it to death, and write an article, essay, or story about it that makes total sense and is enlightening to someone that is in the dark on that topic like I was before I wrote about it. (and that, my friends, is a writing no-no. That sentence was much too long and wordy. Hey, this is my blog and I say it works here.)

This brings me to how hard it can be to be a mom and work at home at the same time. I REFUSE to be "that mom" that stays home with her kids but spends her entire day at the computer, cleaning house, or doing things totally not related to her children. When I start to think that my children would get more attention and more structured playtime at a daycare than here with me, I have a problem with it. So, I'm having to learn to balance all of this. It's new, and a challenge I'm ready to accept. So far, so good.

So, I suppose my best work title right now would simply be a freelance writer. It's great for me. I can do it in my own time, whenever I want, as long as I meet my deadlines. As I get published more and more, I hope to get more regular "jobs" instead of the "Hey, I need someone to write 10 articles by Friday!" gigs. I'm getting braver now and starting to write things to submit to big name magazines, and lesser known ones as well. I might even try my hand at writing for some newspapers. I'll never know if I don't try!

Isn't it strange how scary it is to just try? I have to keep reminding myself that I definitely won't get selected for a particular job if I don't apply. I hate the feeling of rejection. The only good thing about not trying, is you have zero chances of being turned down. But, you also never progress.

I've never had feelings like I have now in my adult life. All I've ever wanted before was to have children and be a mother. While that is still #1 on my list, I'm slowly creeping up there too. What do I want for me now? I feel complete in the parenting department. The stronger my urge to succeed as a writer becomes, the more I'm sure I'm done having babies. I'm praying for God to direct me to opportunities that will glorify him, not just me. (this is a very hard thing to pray AND MEAN for me, I admit.) Amazingly, the very first article I ever had purchased by a publisher was to a christian resource magazine and it was about overcoming low self-esteem. It's a little ironic that my self-esteem when writing that, about myself as a writer, was nil. But, God guided my words and helped me succeed! I pray he continues to guide me.

How weird to be embarking on a career... I never saw this day coming. It came from NO WHERE.