Friday, April 18, 2008

The Positives

Posted by Mandy at 6:08 AM
So, Clayton's been gone for a full week.. he gets to come home sometime today or tonight, and I cannot wait! I tried not to post while he was away b/c I didn't want to complain. Today, as a reflecting day, I thought I'd turn it around and find positives to him being away this week, and in general, with work. Digging deep to find them!

- I get to know my kids better. Without Clayton here as a "distraction" I really spend more time with the kids and listen better in the evening hours to every little thing they say.

- I learn lots of patients. There's no room for mommy to "lose it" when daddy's away so often. I can handle lots more than I thought I ever could, solo!

- I get closer to Clayton. The old saying "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." really is true. It's almost like we're dating again. (we dated long distance for 3yrs) Just a few short phone conversations over a weeks time makes you long for more. (include screaming drill instructors into the background and it makes for a tough phone call! The newest group of state police recruits happens to be there at the same time as he and other guys are getting trained to train them. lol The DI's aren't yelling at Clayton's group, by the way.)

- It's a confidence booster. A good friend of mine, who's husband is away a little more often than clayton and also works long hours, said a cool thing to me recently about our hubby's being gone. She said, "You know, one good thing is it boosts us into a whole different relm of motherhood... most women start flipping out if their husbands aren't home by 5:30pm... for us, it's just the start of a long night when we KNOW no one's coming in that door to relieve us." So true. The amazing thing is, after all of these years, I don't even need help at night most of the time. Would it be nice? lol um, yeah! But, I manage fine. I still cook a good meal each night, clean the house, get kids bathed, play games with them, read bedtime stories, and put them to bed... all by myself. I NEVER would've imagined doing this with ease when we started this venture of crazy work schedules almost 4 years ago. I assumed I'd have lost my ever loving mind by now.

- I get to catch up on all of the shows Clayton hates! This week was full of recorded episodes of John and Kate Plus 8, What Not to Wear, The O'Reilly Factor, and Little People, Big World. Ahh... it was bliss!

- I learn to face my fears. Without him here to scoop up the big black furry caterpillar we found in the kitchen, to squish spiders that come in b/c it's warm outside now, and get spider webs off of the kids swings outside.. guess who MUST do it? lol yeah.. me! I also have to continue to face my fear of being home alone at night. Yes.. I know. I'm home alone MOST nights... but it still is a huge fear of mine. I did well this week. As long as I watch TV in bed for a bit it blocks my mind from thinking of who might be trying to break in b/c they've noticed the Trooper Car has been gone for an awfully long time... I pray a lot, and thank God I wake up to a safe home the next morning!

- I catch up with friends. This week I had lunch with a friend I haven't seen in a month or so, Lee Ann came to hang out Wednesday night and we had the most awesome time, I had supper with another friend, too. I try to see my friends often, but when Clayton's home it's easier to call them up and beg for company. lol Thankfully they're all so sweet that they OFFER their company before I even have to swallow my pride and ask. They know I'm lonely... and I so appreciate them joyfully saying, "Hey! Since Clayton's gone let's hang out!" I'm SO blessed with my friends. SO SO SO BLESSED!!

- I get to know "me" a bit better. When there's no one to distract you from yourself, you have more than enough time to reflect on your life, your thoughts, your relationships, and all things that make you, you. Since I miss Clayton, I often spend time thinking of him. How great he is, how much I love and miss him, and how I want to be the wife he's excited to come home to. I was so touched to hear the guys he's with in the background talking about "how good Clayton has it at home..." the other night. Knowing that your husband speaks highly of you when you're not there, especially when you KNOW you're not always so deserving of it, is just the best feeling ever!! I've realized that the more time I spend building him up, the better our relationship gets. It's a great cycle to start!

- I have more blogging time. When's the last time I rambled on like THIS in a blog post, hu? I know you guys are as ready for him to get home as I am, now! ;)


Maury on Sunday, 20 April, 2008 said...

It was great to meet you and your long lashed beautiful kids!!

It is different not having hubby around....I never have that these days, but I do remember when the kids were little he went to Banking school for a week, and I missed him like crazy, and I ended up surviving much better than I thought I would with a 1, 2, and 3 yr old!

WendyJanelle on Monday, 21 April, 2008 said...

Yeah, I'm one of those moms who goes nuts if Fred isn't home by 5:30. I'm so spoiled!

You are brave, and it sounds like you are coping well and developing awesome skills!-- A mom who kills spiders. Wow. :-)

Good friends are priceless. It's great that you have so many near you. I don't know what I would do without mine!

Mandy on Monday, 21 April, 2008 said...

Great to meet you too, Maury! As soon as I get time I'm hopping to your blog b/c I KNOW you've already put beach trip pics up, right? :)

Wendy, you don't know how "wow" me killing a spider is! lol Ask "silly me" sometime about my near spider phobia... seriously. I almost THREW UP once when having to squish a medium sized spider. I shook for probably 35 minutes afterwards and had goosebumps all over... ewww.. hate them!!

Amanda & Justin Dreyer on Monday, 21 April, 2008 said...

I know it really hard for me when Justin's gone for a weekend or 2 weeks for military training... I can't imagine it with 3 kids! I do get a lot more cleaning, paperwork, catching up on tv (he hates most of my shows too). It's one of those things that I've learned to enjoy (but I'm glad it's not a common occurrence. Oh also- I forgot to tell you that we'll be gone this weekend so I need someone to do J kids. I could do the 2nd or 3rd weekend in May if someone wants to trade.

Mandy on Friday, 25 April, 2008 said...

Amanda, it's not your week for J kids... it's mine.. so you're off the hook, this time. ;)

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