River Market: How I Love Thee

One of the most fun places to take the kids that there is no admission fee. The River Market in Little Rock. Now, don't get me wrong... it isn't free. If you walk through the Downtown area you will pass too many yummy treats to make it out of here without forking over some cash. (the ice cream place, the AWESOME pizza place, and the places that get rid of the I'm thirsties.) Worth it entirely, though!

This began many shouts of "Dum Dum, give me gum gum." from the big kids. (from Night at the Museum... hardy har har)

Daddy helping Samuel climb out of the tunnels.

"Made it."

Whew! We all made it... and I'm pretty sure that after we climbed down we noticed that that was 'not' an allowed climbing spot. Oops.

This is after Carter learned how to spit off of the bridge... thanks to his father. Later in the day he learned the importance of not spitting into the wind.

I don't know why but the kids were more excited about this pig than ANYTHING else we saw.. including the submarine. Go figure.

I have others to post but no time today! We did and saw everything we could and walked many miles in the few hours we were there.

We'll actually be going back this weekend - but not for this! Clayton will be running the half-marathon... or attempting to run it. ;) I will try to stick it out long enough to cheer him on from start to finish. Wish him luck!

They're Heeeeerrreeee...

We've all been sitting in wait for warm weather.... almost forgetting what the beautiful spring sunshine brings along with it.

SPRING FASHIONS!

Okay, so I'm sort of a closet fashionista. I REALLY like clothes. I also REALLY don't have too many that I love thanks to a job that requires me to roll around with dogs most days. Mix that with mommy-hood and my daily wardrobe lately has consisted of jeans and long-sleeved tees.

So, with spring right around the corner, my interest in clothes that I actually like to wear has hit its peek. This happens every year at this time. Goodbye sweaters! Goodbye Coats! Hello... oh my..

Hello tank tops and halters that show off my arms that look like.. like I've been wearing sweaters and coats for the past 3 months. Hmm.....

I was on one of my favorite websites - Oldnavy.com - and I was peeking around at the newest stuff for spring. Yes, I do find this thrilling. I get a rush of "Oh! I want that!" I also get a rush of, "Oh.. I need to workout more!"

I saw this super cute simple dress

I got all girly and had visions of this summer when I could throw this on with some cute sandals and a totally rockin' chunky necklace and run out of the door with my kids to go.. wherever. Then I started thinking in realistic terms. Seriously.. my arms are NOT ready for this big of a step.

Crap. Here we go.

Each spring I go through this. Those extra 5ish pounds (10ish.. whatever..) I let myself gain because I can hide behind clothes start to bug me. It's so difficult for me to eat less when it is dark and cold outside. Can't help it. It's nature or something, I swear.

With the sun beginning to shine, and a bit of warmth starting to come through - maybe, just maybe, now's the time to let my portion sizes decrease. Maybe.

I'm also in desperate need of a tan... I even contemplated the tanning bed. Shhh.. don't tell anyone. I'm such a "I don't want to get skin cancer" phobe that I don't know if I can really go through with it. But, it has entered my mind. I'd look a lot better in that cute yellow dress if I wasn't sporting around this ridiculously pastey white skin....

So... I'm Terrified

Madison, Carter, and "A"

This week has been full of finishing up (we hope) our end of paperwork and running around for the Baptist Home. TB tests have been done, paperwork notarized, and we've sent our money to the State Police for our background checks. (which was odd to pay my husband's own people for the service..) I think we may be done. Now we wait.

We'll have a home visit soon, and for some reason I'm freaked out about that. I have no idea why. I even am VERY close with the woman that's doing it. We've gone to church together for a couple of years now. I asked her Sunday,

"What exactly are you looking for when you do a home visit?"

She sort of laughed that I would even ask and explained that she was just making sure it was a safe, clean home. Of course this just sent me into wondering if our house was clean enough.. and safe enough.

Once all of our references have sent in their paperwork and everything is completed on the Children's Home's end... I suppose that means we'll be done. Then what? Who? How many? Why am I getting nervous here?!

When I started looking into this several months ago, I sort of thought it wasn't too big of a deal. Like these kids would be similar to having our kids' friends over to play and nothing more. Getting to get a glimpse into this with being blessed with "A" getting to come over once or twice a week has proven that theory dead wrong.

When they bond with you, when they bond with your family, and when you bond with them... it's hard. When they explain you're the first "real" home they've been in in over a year... it's hard. When they tear up loading into the van to go back.. it's really hard. When they ask, "Can you just please call and see if I can stay just this one night? Please?".. it's super hard. When you want to do more than you are allowed... it's hard.

But, this is where God has put our hearts. From the first minute I stepped foot into the girls' cottage, I knew it. This is where he's been pulling us. This is where he wants us to start this journey.

Since "A" cannot have a family friend, we're only allowed to be a "friend." This is very different. Limited visits, no staying the night, things of that nature. With a child that is allowed to have a family friend, they can spend two complete weekends each month with us. They can stay the night. We can be as involved as we want to be. This makes me really really joyful and excited - and super afraid.

These kids have had their hearts broken. Some of them hide it so well.. like "A." It comes out in small tears, on rare occasions. Others are more outward with their anger and sadness. Who can blame them?! All they want is a home. A family. Love and acceptance. There are so many of them.. and so few helping it seems. What does this say to them about who they are? I know that "A" has said several times that she is so happy that a REAL family lets her come to play! That we like her enough to spend so much time with her.  If you knew this kid.. you would be crying at this statement. She really believes it's HER. Because her parents are the way they are, and cannot raise her, that this means something is unlikable or unlovable about HER. I have to imagine that this is a common theme amongst children in her situation.

So, we're choosing not to live in fear. As I told a friend on the phone yesterday,
"We may not be the best home. We may not handle everything these kids throw at us the perfect way. But we're going to try our hardest to love them and be better than what they have."

I feel like for the longest time I would see children like this and would think,
"That is so horrible. Someone should do something about that..."

I refuse to sit back and do nothing now. My youngest child is finally old enough that I can take on more. So, here we go. It's been a fairly lengthy process of paperwork, tests, etc.. and we're still not finished. Once we are, I am simply choosing to trust that God will work all of this out. He will give us the words to say to a hurting child, he will give us the love to give, and the patience to wait if need be.

Fear keeps us from doing so much of God's work. Is fear keeping you from fulfilling anything that God might be pulling you towards? Can you let go and trust that if he leads you there, that he will not leave you there alone?

Blogs: What Draws You In?

There's been some talk in my blog world lately about different blogs and what everyone is flocking to right now. Also, about how some blogs are being totally overtaken by reviews and give-aways, making a lot of us run and hide from their URL.

It got me thinking about how different the blogs I visit today are from the blogs I started out visiting. Some of them I've stuck with for YEARS, others I've sort of outgrown. (not to mean their blogs aren't great; just to mean that my life has changed a lot and so has the material I search for.)

When I started blogging a million years ago, I really only liked hard-core Mommy Blogs. That's exactly where I was in life and it was a breath of fresh air to find so many other moms going through the same trials that I was.

"So your baby nurses all night long, too?!"

"Your toddler spends more time in time out than anywhere else, too?!"

"You hate your 2 month post partum belly like I do?!"

WOW!

Oh how I needed all of that at the time!

Fast forward to today. Life is so different! I've started my own business, become a dog rescue crazy person (because.. it will make you crazy!), and now we're getting into opening our home for children as well. That's a lot of insane stuff in a short amount of time!

This has really changed what blogs I look to, now.

I have my list of foster/adoptive home blogs that I study like crazy. I'm really stalking them all, reading all of their old blog posts about when they first started, what they went through, and seeing where they are today. I'm desperate for a glimpse into this world before we jump off into it totally in blind faith that God is leading us here - so we'll just trust that he'll see us through! If we can just make it through all of the paperwork.. oh.. the paperwork.. then I'll feel like we have a better start! (you send one completed packet of papers thinking that's it... and they send you another packet full of new things to fill out and accomplish.)
LINKY LOVE: Sugar and Spice ; The Middle Mom ; Blessings for the Good Life
**some of these may be private.. not sure. If you know of any other great blogs like these, please link me!

Next I have my list of working moms. Some work from home, some work away. Some have part-time jobs like I do, others are working 50 hours a week. They have some awesome ideas on how to keep home-life organized and smooth flowing while having other comittments. I also like that some of them have much older kids than I do... as in.. the dreaded teenagers. I sort of read about this phase of parenting the way I watch scary  movies.. just peeking through my fingers as I cover my face in horror.
LINKY LOVE: Show Me the Mom ; Confessions from a Working Mom

Then, I have my funny, witty, fashionable, in-the-know blogs. From the latest kid trends to what shoes I'm supposed to be buying for spring, this is what I'm looking for on these types of posts. I typically leave these thinking, "I can't believe she said that!" It helps me realize I'm not the only person in the world that thinks the way I do. That's a scary reality... isn't it?
LINKY LOVE: The (Un)Experienced Mom ; Where is the Me in Mommy?

There are so many more but I don't have time to link them all. Another day! :)

I'm finding new blogs each week that I really like! I love seeing how much talent is out there and reading about how other people think, live, work, and love.

Has your own life journey changed what blogs you look for? What are you into now-a-days?

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...

You may think you are looking at a picture of a shelf at Toys R Us, but I assure you that this is actually my 5 year old son's bed. As is this:

There is basically a stuffed animal or toy lining the entire right hand side of his bed. If you could see under the covers, you would discover that at his feet there is also another army of teddy bears keeping his toes safe as he sleeps.

I have never in my life seen a child sleep with so many things! If even one is missing, he will know it. And he will demand a search party be sent out until it is found and safely returned to its proper place. Be it by the pillow, at his feet, or by his side.

This all started about a year ago I suppose. It began with his favorite sleep partner: Tiger. You can see Tiger in the second picture - hanging out with Bear, other Bear, and Baby. (yes, he's a boy. He just names them based on what they actually are...)

His Nana bought Tiger for him a long time ago, and he started sleeping with him from day 1. Then came Baby. Next I believe was Lizard.. and on, and on. He could never give up one to sleep with another so he just kept adding to his collection. Randomly he'll have totally bizarre things thrown into the mix like a plastic snake or the pictured jellyfish type toy that feels super disgusting to the touch. Not exactly what I'd like to cuddle with all night long. When he was 2 he even went through a phase that he was totally in love with and attached to a bottle of mustard. Yes. Really.

I remember several fits as we passed the aisle in the grocery store that had all sorts of bottles and brands of mustard..

"My mustard! My mustard!"

My oh my.

It's things like this that make me wonder, "What on earth did I do to this child?"

Oops.. I Didn't Know I was a Lesbian

This is apparently how Lindsay Lohan must be feeling.

Okay, okay.. I like TV and entertainment stuff but I've never been one to keep up with celebrity gossip and news and such unless it is broadcast via sneak attack in place of real news on my usual news networks. Thus why I had no idea LL was involved with a woman, is now split from her, but still loves her. Now you're as up to speed as I am.

I was looking for something else on People's website when I saw this news story.  By the end I couldn't help but giggle.. just a bit.

She (Lohan) says that her romantic feelings for a woman "surprised" her. Really? Wow! What a shocker that would be! You live your entire life hot for men and then one day BAM! A woman catches your eye! I mean.. come on! Is that really believable? I know a few gay people and I will tell you, they KNEW they were gay from a very early age. (as did everyone else...) I honestly don't think I've ever heard of anyone suddenly becoming bisexual in their 20s... but then again, what do I know?

I have no idea why I felt this was blog worthy, but it was strangly interesting to me, so I thought you might get a kick out of it as well.

School to Moms: No more PJ's!

A school in England is telling moms to stop dressing down when bringing kids to school. No PJ's! You can read a bit about that here.

Basically, after witnessing 50 mothers bring their children to school "not properly dressed" the school's principal felt compelled to send a letter home to instruct parents to wear proper attire when dropping kids off in the mornings. He said,

“People don’t go to see a lawyer, bank manager or doctor dressed in pajamas, so why do they think it’s okay to drop their children off at school dressed like that?”

 My question is, "How does he know how I dress to go to the doctor or to the bank?"

Now, I see his point. I do try to put on a pair of jeans and at least a decent shirt to drop my kids off at school each  morning. Seeing that I'm one of the fortunate few that doesn't have to be "at work" first thing in the morning, I take full advantage of that. My hair will be in a ponytail and if I find time to throw on some powder and mascara; consider yourself lucky. Perhaps as my youngest child gets older, I'll find more time to get ready needlessly each morning to simply drop my kids off and come home and work on the computer or train dogs all day. Let's not forget the proper clothing required to mop juice off of the floor and clean bathtubs...

I could see this argument if parents were sending their kids to school inappropriately dressed. I do think that getting up and putting on 'real' clothes can set a better pace for the day.. for me it signals "okay, lazy time is over - time to get to work!" However, if I choose to look like a slob when I drop my kids off at school... what's it to ya? Maybe my everyday clothes just LOOK like PJs? I know my dog walking clothes can certainly resemble clothes I might wear to lounge around the house. A long-sleeved tee, yoga pants, and tennis shoes. (and of course, the ponytail.) For what I'm doing after dropping kids off, that IS appropriate.

What do you think? Should a school be able to dictate how PARENTS look when dropping kids off at school?

Toddlers and Colors

Our youngest is Samuel, and he'll be turning three years old in just about 4 months. He has been learing so much over the past few months, it is incredible! One thing that we've struggled with: learning colors.

This is actually something I've worried at least a little bit with with all of my children. I don't know why but I have this paranoid idea that they'll be color-blind. (as if that's the worst thing ever?) So, when they hit about two years old and we start really pointing out colors and teaching them, I sit nervously to see if they get it. If they can SEE colors.

It doesn't help my fear that they've all been a bit later than I'd expect at getting them.

So, with Samuel I have been telling myself NOT to worry. That he'd get them. He'd eventually learn that an orange is actually orange and he would not be the only kid in his 4 year old preschool class that doesn't know that the sky is blue.

So, all of my pep-talking didn't work. As the months passed by, I got a bit nervous at his lack of understanding ANY colors.

"Samuel, what color is your monster truck?"
"White."
"Your monster truck is red. Can you say red?"
"Red!" (giggles, smiles, and then tells me 3 minutes later that his monster truck is white.)

White was his word of choice when it came to the Name that Color game. No matter what I associated learning colors with, he just could not grasp it. Then, the thought.

"Does he REALLY think everything is white?! Can he SEE the colors?!"

This morning, a miracle occured.

As I assembled his orange race track, as I do several times each day, he said,

"Mommy, have you seen my orange water gun? It's orange like this orange car." (as he shuffles through his 50 Hot Wheels to find the orange one.) "And it's orange like my race car track. Where is it?"

My jaw dropped and I grabbed him up, so excited!!

"Sam! You knew that was all orange!! That's great!! Good job!"

Sam, not impressed with himself as I was,

"Mommy... where is my water gun?" (it was under the cars... and yes, it is orange.)

He then promptly grabbed a green car and put it on the top of the track.

"Mommy, yook at my fast green car!" (that's not a typo.. he doesn't say "l's" very well yet.)

It was green, and I was giddy!

This is exactly as it happened with the other two. Just when I realized that EVERYONE else's two year olds knew their colors, and mine didn't, and I started freaking out, they started spitting out the info I'd been trying to fill them with since birth.

If nothing else, he'll know orange and green when he goes to Pre-K...

The Agenda

This Week I Will:

• House-break and train a Boxer puppy for a new client.
• Get myself and husband TB tested.
• Get paperwork notorized.
• Get the ball rolling on background checks.
• Wait for husband's transfer letter to arrive in the mail. (please oh please!)
• Say nothing negative to my spouse, do something unexpectedly nice for him, buy him something that lets him know I was thinking of him, call him randomly to see if I can lighten his load, ask him if I do anything that drives him batty without attacking him for his answers, and make a list of any wrong motivations I might have in our  marriage. (we're doing the Love Dare...)
• Enjoy the nicer weather with my family
• Continue trying to teach colors to my 2yr old... ugh.. (ongoing process..)
• Continue potty training with the same 2yr old... double ugh
• Play race-cars and play-doh and monster trucks with 2yr old - smile! :)
• Pray for a special little girl that has already become a part of our family.. if only by love.
• Get paid for a week of training a Boxer puppy - huge smile :)
• Hope that the week's end will have a special little girl back "home" with us again. If only for the day.

I assume I don't have to list given things like cleaning the toilet 6 times a day b/c of potty training 2 year old or sweep and mop as necessary each day, right? You know the drill...

In Dreams

I hesitated to post this because I'm not sure of what the reaction will be. Let's start by saying I'm not a psychic, I don't "see dead people," or anything of that nature. I've simply always found that my dreams are powerful. I've always joked that my brain is so hyper-active during my waking hours that God knows his only shot of reaching me is when I'm held hostage at night.

Not quite 3 months ago my dad passed away. The day he died, before I knew what was going on, I had a knot in my stomach the entire morning. I had an overwhelming feeling of anxiousness, of being trapped, of being uneasy. It became worse as the hours passed so I had to escape my house. I loaded the kids up and we went to Walmart just to go somewhere. After Walmart I still had this horrible nagging feeling, so we went to a flooring store here in town to price check some things I had been wondering about.

On the drive home I was nearly in tears. "Is this PMS or what?!" No... couldn't be.

No sooner had I gotten home, unloaded the kids from the van, and sat a few sacks on the kitchen table when I got the first phone call from my sister.

"The ambulance is at Dad's house and they're trying to revive him...." I could barely understand her through her crying and breathlessness, but I knew right away he was gone. I had no glimmer of hope that they would save him. I had no idea what had happened to his body, but I knew that his spirit was not in it. It's like everything came full circle.. I think I even told her within the first few minutes, "I should have known this was coming."

I had this very same occurance the day my Aunt died, who was so much more than an aunt to me. She was my other mom.

It was like God was trying to prepare me for what was to come. Like he knew me so well that he knew I couldn't handle having a fabulous day only to have it come to such a life-changing end. I don't deal well with sudden change...

When we got home from the hospital and from dad's house on the night he died, where I saw his face for one of the last precious times and touched his lifeless hands to try to hold on to what I had left, I hit my knees and begged God to let me see him again. I knew Dad was in heaven, I know I'll be there one day, but the wait from now until then is overwhelming. I screamed at God that I could NOT not see my dad again while I'm on earth. "PLEASE let him come to me when I'm asleep. PLEASE let me hug him. PLEASE let me speak to him... PLEASE!!"

Fast forward two months later. I had felt so upset that in the entire two months since Dad's passing that I'd not had one single dream of him. Not a dream that replayed a scene from our life together, not a dream where I felt that he was trying to see me in present day.. nothing. It seemed others around me were dreaming of him.. why not me? I continued to beg God for that experience. I told him I didn't just want a random dream about my dad.. I wanted him to let my dad actually come to see me. And I prayed I'd remember the dream vividly.

Finally, it happened.

My first dream was so real, and so odd. Clayton, the kids, and I were walking into my grandfather's house in DeWitt. I had a dish of some kind in my hands and my Aunt met us at the door. She had a sympathetic look on her face b/c this was the first time we'd been together since the funeral. I saw my stepmom at the table, her sons, and all of the family. Then, as I walked closer, beside my stepmom was my dad! I nearly dropped my dish! I ran over to him, grabbed his neck, smelled his scent, and said,

"Dad!! You're here! You came! You're really here!!!" I rambled off many "I love you's" and "I miss you so much"... it was as if no one else could see what was happening but he and I. I remember feeling his bearded face against my cheek and saying, "Oh, you're so warm!" Dad simply grabbed my shoulders, pushed me back so he could see me eye to eye and said, in responce to my "You're really here!"

"I am really here."

With that I woke up. I immediately prayed and thanked God for letting my dad come see me. I cried, and I sobbed. I still felt his embrace, I still smelled his scent, I still heard his voice.

Fast forward a few weeks later to last night. My second dream.

We were sitting in a car of some kind. I, again, was so happy to see him that I just wanted to crawl into his lap and never let go. However, this time it was like I was really awake and in control of the conversation. I asked questions, and he answered. It was an amazing experience.

me: "Is heaven really amazing?"

Dad: "Oh... yes.." (with a sincere nod)

me: "Do you miss anything about being alive?"

Dad: "No."

me: "NOTHING?!" (almost angry with him)

Dad: "No, nothing."

me: "You don't even miss ME?!!!" (hurt and angry)

Dad: "I don't miss you because I AM with you."

me: "Well, I miss you..."

Dad: "That's because you can't see that I'm still with you..."

me: "How's Beth doing right now?"  (my stepmom)

Dad: (chuckles) "I don't know.. I'm here with you right now!" (grins that grin...)

me: (rolls my eyes and smiles)

After that we just sat together. Then I woke up.

I can't describe the peace it gives me to see my dad in dreams. I can't tell you how many times I thanked God this morning for allowing it.

I know dreams aren't powerful for everyone, and this is why I hesitantly post this today. I honestly can't handle anyone saying "it's just a dream" because, well, I know it wasn't. In fact, both times I told Clayton, "Dad came to see me last night.." because that was just the truth.

I believe my constant prayers, crying out to God to have mercy on me and let me see my Dad while I'm still here, were answered. I pray they will continue to be answered.

I find it a bit funny that if I could have designed a dream it would probably be my dad grabbing and hugging me and telling me how much he misses me. Yet, in these dreams he's trying to make sure I KNOW he doesn't really. He's happy, he's around, and things are great. When you're with Jesus... why would you long for ANYTHING or ANYONE that you left on earth? I wonder if Dad's annoyed that I keep begging for him to come back to visit... I mean, I wouldn't want to leave paradise for even a moment. I'm thankful that it was arranged, though. And, for my own selfish reasons, I will continue to pray for more moments with my Dad... because even though our moments on earth were many, they were too few. There's never enough time with the ones we love. And any time I can grasp onto, I will.

Let's Get This Ball Rollin`!

I was thrilled when we got a packet in the mail from the Baptist Children's Home yesterday. Now the work begins! I've spent the morning filling out more paperwork and will hopefully get to schedule our TB tests with the Health Department next week to get that out of the way. Once our references (you know who you are.. get to filling stuff out!) ;) get their stuff turned in, I suppose we'll have our background checks and home check done, then that's it? Our home will officially be open for a child or children that are able to have a family friend! I'm so excited - and nervous.

I don't know why this makes me nervous. I guess bringing a child into your life is a big deal and worthy of having some nerves over. I think my feelings are really based more on this being totally unknown. I don't know what kid(s) will be put with us, I don't know exactly how old they'll be (though we did request ages 6-10, we also agreed to take someone other than what we requested), and I don't have a clue what background they'll have. We're in for a wild ride!

As the time draws near that we're close to being approved, I'm even thinking of what we need to do as far as sleeping arrangements. I did say that I felt a girl would be most appropriate for our family right now, so I'm wondering if bunk beds are in our future for Madison's room. If this child is going to be spending two weekends a month, at least, with us... seems as though we should be prepared!

It's a really strange feeling knowing that your family is basically under investigation as soon as you turn in all of your paperwork. I keep looking out of my window for some guy in a trench coat, smoking a pipe, looking at my van with a magnifying glass to appear. So far, no go.

I hope this can all be completed fairly quickly. I'm really ready to get this going! From what I hear it could take 1-2 YEARS to be a licensed foster home through DHS in our area.. so getting this done now will at least allow us to do something along those lines while we wait for God to open those doors. He's done a FINE job leading us here, so we'll just keep following and see where he takes us.

He did send me an amazing amount of business for this weekend and next week, so he is definitely helping us get closer to our house-building-goal. I wonder how many bedrooms he'll lead us to include in those plans...

Biggest Pet Peeve

Thankfully I'm not someone that has a ton of pet peeves. The few I do have, however, REALLY annoy me. Which brings me to my morning..

For the past few days my Carter Man has been sickly. High fever, sluggish, and super still and cuddly. (which I love.. too bad he has to be contagious to want mommy to hold him now a days.) This morning he started complaining of a sore throat, so I used my wonderful nurse skills and shined a flashlight into his mouth. I discovered lots of grossness - big tonsils covered in red streaks and puss pockets. Gag. This, of course, warrants a doctor's appointment.

I call and agree to see a doctor I've only seen once because my first and second favorites are booked up. (apparently grossness is going around..) I was pleased to "only" wait one hour before getting in, and decently okay with the check up. Didn't accomplish all I wanted, but we hit the high points and were on our way to the pharmacy to get meds for both Carter and me. We both have some type of throat infection, be it strep or something else. (Carter's swab was unsuccessful and they didn't seem interested in doing one on me.)

We get to the pharmacy where we wait another hour. By this point we're tired, sicker, hungry, and a touch grumpy. (I had the boys with me.) I kill as much time as I can by walking around the store, pointing out anything boys  might like.

"Look at this huge rake!"
"Oh! A chainsaw!"

We approach the line at the pharmacy and wait. And wait. And wait. Finally we get to the ONE lady checking out the 15 standing around to give her our last name. Her response, "They're still working on both of them.. it'll probably be another 15 or 20 minutes."

I said, "Okay" as politely as I could and took my cranky boys and their cranky mother off to the food place just to kill more time. I helped them finish off their big soft pretzel in total annoyance.

We go back, wait in line for what seemed like an eternity, and finally got back to the ONE lady checking people out. Finally, our meds were ready!

I grab my checkbook ready to pay for these miracle drugs that would have my household back in working order only to hear the lady say,

"You do know these are pretty expensive?"

"Hu? What do you mean by expensive?"

"It's $120."

"WHAT?!! For two rounds of antibiotics?! What is it?!"

She rattled off the name of the mystery pills and I replied,

"I don't want that... obviously! I just wanted a Z-Pack or something NORMAL that isn't $60 a pack!"

I stopped myself and apologized to the lady, telling her I knew it wasn't their fault, but I was just super annoyed. She smiled and said she understood and explained that they'd call the doctor and try to get something else.

This could mean we won't have any meds until tomorrow... when the snow and ice are supposed to hit. Lovely.

So, my biggest pet peeve ever? WASTING TIME! I spend an entire MORNING at the doctors and at the pharmacy for what? NOTHING. I have NOTHING. I am beyond peeved. My big man is sick, I'm sick. He's getting sicker... as am I. But all I can do is sit here and wait. Is there seriously not a better system we could get? Is it not common sense for doctors that we OBVIOUSLY don't want the most expensive mystery antibiotics when we could get meds for so much cheaper?

So, if you see me in Walmart, and I look annoyed, and sick, it might be best to wave from a distance. I'm probably feverish, and spreading germs to everyone. If these germs make it to you, make sure to ask your doctor to call in a normal medication before you leave the office.

Exercise = Hunger

We finally broke down and bought a new elliptical machine. I've been without mine for around a year now I suppose... oh what a hard year! I was a faithful elliptical-a-holic for a glorious 7 years before I finally snapped a resistance band and it went kaput. My nightly routine of getting the kids into bed, slipping on my shoes, and working up a sweat to my favorite show on DVR was over. I had to trade it in for jogging and doing workout dvds.

Fast forward to this week - IT'S BACK! Okay, not the same one, but a new one. And I'm thrilled!

The first night hubby spent his whole night assembling it for me. Even though it was already 9:30pm when he was finished I hopped on for my first 30 minute workout. I thought I'd have a heart-attack by the time I was done, but in a weird way that felt so good!

The next day I did a great 40 minute workout while Sam napped (yes.. instead of cleaning pee off of bathroom floor like I should have been doing..) and followed that with a whole hour of sweating that evening while I watched The Biggest Loser. (if they can do it.. I can do it! Great motivation!)

Enter this morning. I wake up to a sick child at 5am and after settling him down, I crawl back into my comfy bed only to hear my stomach growling. Well, more like roaring. I was STARVING.

I finally dozed off right as the alarm started to go off - that'll make you feel good.

I am typically  not a breakfast eater, at least not until a bit later in the morning. This morning, however, I felt as though I'd be sick if I didn't find food immediately. Thank God instant oatmeal only takes a minute and a half to cook in the microwave. Usually that fills me up and I'm good 'til lunch. But not today!

I let myself get too hungry by lunch time and I scarfed down an embarrassing amount of cheese sticks. (Hey, the sick 5 year old requested them for lunch.. what kind of mom doesn't fill a sick child food request?) Of course this made me feel like crap and now I'm ready to hop back on the elliptical to work off these calories.. and work up another huge appetite.

I forgot how much more I feel the need to eat when I exercise this hard. I've also forgotten how I used to cope with this back in the day when I was a size smaller and 5-10 pounds lighter. What was it I used to eat? What did I do?!

How do you handle the viscious exercise/hunger cycle? More carbs? More protein? Suffer in hunger?

A Life Changing Saturday

I mentioned last week that we would be spending the afternoon with a child that is currently not able to live with her parents. Actually, her parents' rights were just terminated - and the future of she and her siblings is being decided.

Knowing that she had just gotten the news, literally days before our playdate, that she would not be seeing her mom and dad again until she turned 18 created a lot of anxiety for me about how to handle any topics or emotions that might come up.

Our day started by Madison and I picking her up from the girls' cottage at the children's home. The girls were all outside with their house parents getting ready to go do "something." I knew several of them, and had a lump in my throat the entire time talking with them. I had no idea they lived there. Two came up and hugged me, "Remember me?! You came and talked to our class! Remember?" Yes.. I did. They all wanted to know where we were going, what we were doing, and when we'd be back. The one girl we were there to get jumped up and down with excitement - she had no idea what the plans were but she knew she was ready to get to them.

We left and let little girl "A" pick where we'd go for lunch. "I've never been to Mazzio's! Or Larry's Pizza! Can we go there?" Larry's Pizza it was.

Lunch was filled with laughter, jokes, giggles, and of course we had to end the meal by letting the girls hit up the arcade. "This is the best time EVER!" *from "A's" mouth repeatedly*

After lunch she was excited to come over and play. My goodness... that child is just a true gem. With all she's going through, she was still just a happy kid. According to her house parents, she 'really' is just that way. She lets life roll off of her and it's allowing her to handle the circumstances so much better than her other siblings. What I can learn from her!

Hours and hours of playing, talking, drawing, and freezing outside so they could "clean" the playhouse ended with supper around the kitchen table. She has the best manners I've ever seen. She was grateful for everything, and when I asked who'd like to bless the food she and Madison took turns thanking God for each other, for family, and "A" ended hers with, "God thank you so much for the food here and for us all having a roof over our heads. We love you so much! Amen." How many children can really appreciate having a roof over their head?

With a heavy heart we loaded up to take her back to the children's home at the end of our evening. She's not approved to have a "family friend" so even once all of our paper work and background checks and such are completed, she still won't be able to ever stay the night with us.

We all walked her in and she seemed sad to leave our house, yet happy to be back "home." She was eager to show us her BEAUTIFUL room and the framed photo of her mom and dad. After a few minutes visiting with everyone we were ready to head back home. She asked, "Do you think i could come over again really soon?" With her current situation I don't know how often we can have her over, so I simply said, "I really hope so!"

Madison has asked every day since why she can't stay with us, why we can't adopt her, why she can't come over EVERY day. Can she come this Saturday? Can she come to church Sunday? Her heart is so beautiful. God is working in her constantly.

Circumstances being as they are, it seems that "A" will likely never be a child that can be with our family. However, I see that God used "A" to launch us forward. There are so many children taken from their homes and the fortunate few end up in awesome foster homes or a fantastic place like our Baptist Home. What about the rest? What happens to them?

We hope to be an approved "family friend" family through the  Baptist Home sooner than later - depending upon how long all of the stuff takes to complete. After that, I am in prayer that we will continue moving forward. That we won't stop there.

Sex Sells

We had a few friends over to watch the Super  Bowl last night, and thankfully as we watched the Saints win, our children were busy playing with their friends and not paying a lick of attention.

I remember watching this ball game every year with my dad, stepmom, and brothers. I don't recall  my dad ever having to mute the TV or quickly change the channel because of inappropriate content. Welcome to the future!

I was really appauled at some of the sexual content of a lot of the commercials. Especially the infamous ones presented by Go Daddy. It seems that the days of families gathering around the TV to cheer on their teams might become a thing of the past. I would have certainly been highly upset if my children would have seen any that.

Is there really no such thing as good family entertainment anymore? I know that sex sells, and that as adults we have the right to watch what we want - I'm cool with that. However, I'd have to assume that most people would find it highly offensive for Nick Jr. to run ads like the ones mentioned because you KNOW children are watching. Should not the same be assumed for sports? Am I off my rocker here?

The Start of Something New

I keep telling myself that she's just a "normal" girl... but,  I have major butterflies in my stomach. I feel an immense amount of pressure to be super normal, and perfect. With what she's been through in life, how can I be anything but amazing for her? With her sad idea of what a normal family is like, what if mine also proves to be disappointing?

This weekend Madison and I will have our first play date with a child that's "in the system." A child that was taken from her home, a child that I have heard is an amazingly sweet and loving kid.

I keep reassuring myself that a lunch date at the place of her choice isn't that big of a deal. That if she chooses to come over to play afterwards - that I'll just supervise everything and we'll act like everything's normal. Just like if it was a typical friend from school. My heart's ache for her and her situation is the difference.

I don't want her to feel that I look at her with sadness or with feelings of "you poor thing." I just want her, if only for a few hours, to feel normal. Is that possible? Please be in prayer with me that tomorrow, a little girl so deserving of an amazing life, will simply feel normal.

House Hunting Horrors

Has anyone ever gone through the process of trying to find a new home? Did anyone else want to SCREAM the entire time?

We bought our first home back in July of 2005. We gutted it, remodeled  the entire thing, and now I'm ready to sell it to a new lucky owner and get the heck out of Dodge. So, we're on step 1: Finding a new home.

This step always seems fun and exciting on those HGTV shows that I watch. Apparently when you have A LOT of money, house hunting is a blast! When you're trying to fit a house that's more than you can afford into a house that's within your budget - well that's hard work.

This job becomes even harder when you're not really on the same page with your spouse about what exactly you should buy. Let the good times roll!

We're pretty much giving up on our dream of buying land and building. It is just way too much work, too much money, and too much time. We're ready to move. We're ready to sell our house, pay off debt, and start saving for our future dream home on our future dream land. So, where do we go while we wait for that dream home to be built? WE HAVE NO IDEA!

I've been looking at houses online and in the paper for several months. Probably closer to a year at this point. There just isn't anything out there that's right, or that's perfect I should say. I'm finally getting accustomed to the idea of buying a house in a neighborhood simply to get more house, in town, and out of here. That would be a hard adjustment for us because we really like country living. But, I could get used to the grocery store only being 5 minutes away as opposed to 20.

I've found a few that I could really see me moving my couch and TV into, but hubby isn't having it. *sigh* Doesn't he know that his job is to agree with me? (don't tell him I said that..)

I keep waiting to drive by a billboard somewhere and it to read:

"Mandy! Your perfect home is at *this address* and it's waiting for you!" Love, God

So far, not happening. The first time around it took us right at a year to find our first home. We're getting close to that timeline again!

If you've gone through this, how long did it take you to find the right home for you?

Moms' Hell Week

I was watching a cool segment on the Today Show this morning about the Navy Seals and their intense training. For some reason, my brain immediately began thinking how helpful it would've been to have such a class before having my first child.

I can see it now:

Instead of a ropes course for agility there would be a long hallway set up with legos, cars, Barbie shoes, and push toys for you to navigate through... in the dark. You would have to learn how to not only magically see these things in the pitch black, but you would have to do it while holding your crying toddler and avoiding cursing when one of those legos finds its way into your heel.

One part of the training for Navy Seals they showed was how they put a hood on their head, then rip it off and the Seal has to immediately began battling whatever scenario they have set before him. It might be a gun to your face, or you might instantly start getting beat down by two huge men. Good luck.

For moms, the hood would come off and we'd have vomit flung at us, 3 children all starving at once, a leaky diaper... in the grocery store, (to be followed 20 minutes later by a 3 year old that has to go potty NOW as you try to check out at the grocery store with an infant and at least one other child with you.) and possibly they could throw in sitting in the doctors office while all of your kids are sick... and you've caught the stomach virus. Now, THAT'S some serious training.

Hell Week... the most dreaded week as a Navy Seals trainee. For moms, it would be hard to pinpoint when exactly hell week would begin or ever stop. I'd have to say hell week for moms would probably begin with labor, followed by delivery either via parts of your body doing things you never wanted them to, or your entire abdomen being sliced open and a living being removed via a grown person's hands. Lovely!

Navy Seals suffer sleep deprivation coupled with intense physical labor as part of Hell Week. Humph... we moms have got that one down! Hell Week for moms would include not just one week, but MONTHS and possibly YEARS of constant sleep deprivation, coupled with all of the daily activities you've always had to do. (do you think any woman on earth would actually have a child if this training was mandatory for you to ever conceive a child?)

I think we moms have a lot in common with these physically and mentally fit men. (I didn't see any women in the video... not sure if there are any?) Motherhood is not for the weak or the half-hearted. It's a job that takes a lot of mental strength, physical strength, and unlike the Seals, we can't simply start throwing throat jabs when the enemy attacks. We have to be sleep deprived, emotionally deprived, and still be PATIENT. I totally missed that class when I was pregnant with my first child. (and second... and third...)

Another thing we have in common is, a lot of us know good and well what we're getting into with bringing life into this world, and we CHOOSE to do it. Just like the Navy Seals, we are willing to accept the torture in order to gain the reward. I have to say that we definitely have one up on the Seals in the fact that our reward comes in hugs and kisses and cuddles and theirs comes from.. what? Not dying?

If we were to try to put this training together for future moms.. what else should it include?

A Shout-Out For My Girls

How often do we neglect to tell our friends just how amazing we think they are? I think TOO often.

Recent crazy events in my life have allowed me to really sit back and reflect on my friends. I can only come to one conclusion - they are simply the best. Really. I'm sorry if my friends aren't your friends, and once you find out who they are, please seek them out and force them to befriend you. Your life will immediately improve after simply being in their company!

So, here's a list for my girls - at least a few of you. I don't have all night!

Lee Ann - She may never read this, but if anyone deserves some public applause, it's my BFF Lee Ann. Trying to pinpoint what 'exactly' makes her so awesome is tough b/c she's really such a well-rounded gal. Super calm, easy-going, always armed and ready to come to my rescue, and a great person in which to lay your heart right out there. She is such an inspiration to me.. as are all of my friends. She makes me want to be better every time I'm with her. She has wisdom well beyond her years and is going to make the most amazing mom ever with her little boy that's due this coming May. If everyone was so blessed to have awesome parents like little Caleb is, the world would have zero problems.

Leslie - Though she's far-far away now, Leslie is still one of my best girlfriends. She's never more than a phone call or an email away. She reminds me a lot of myself... so it's amazing to me our friendship has lasted! ;) She is the one to call if you need some back-up. Her love if FIERCE and she's a lot like me in the fact that if someone hurts one of her friends, she is hurt as well, and wants to seek out justice. She makes me laugh... she makes me think. If something really tragic or crazy happens she's typically the first person I'm speed-dialing. Even if she's never "been there" she has a way of making me feel like she totally gets where I am and understands what I'm feeling.

Melanie - I know.. she's my sister. But, she's also been one of my best friends throughout the duration of my life. She knows me like no one else - she's been there through every minute of my being. Being 6 years older than I am, our relationship began as more of a "second mom" type, but morphed into a best buddies relationship as I hit my teenage years. She helped me learn to tie my shoes, how to drive a car, and how to have a blast! It's so amazing that now we can pick up the phone to talk about raising our kids, strengthening our marriages, and growing in Christ. When Dad died, she was the only person on this entire earth that felt what I felt, just the way I felt it. Having a sibling is an amazing gift and one I am so thankful for!

Kim - I'm almost positive that my friend Kim won't read this. She's not much into internet stuff - especially blogs. But, I must sing her praises! Kim and I got to go through our pregnancies together with our last babies and they were born just 2 weeks apart. Her God-given gifts are absolutely mercy and generosity. Her grace is unbelievable. Her understanding of others baffles me. I often joke that you can never say in passing that you'd like to have something or "need" something around her because she will give it to you if she has it, or find it for you somehow! Low-Key is an understatement with Kim. I've never heard her yell.. NEVER. She has 4 kids... all 2yrs apart. (wonderful kids.... I am so blessed that my kids get to be her kids' friends!) She cracks me up, and sets the bar very high for how a person should live. Somehow, she does this without ever coming across as "too good" for anyone or without ever so much as raising an eyebrow at someone.

Lauren - My first friend in Monticello! Her mom set us up on a "date" at the park and she and I, and our girls, have been friends since! Her gift is also definitely generosity. Her heart is so loving... she's just amazing. When I've shared hurts of mine with her, she's hurt with me. When I've shared something upsetting with her, she's upset on my behalf. Her wittiness draws me in! I love hearing what she has to say, and if I ever need a pick-me-up, she is definitely the one to seek out. I love how she loves her kids... you can just feel it. I also love that she really enjoys laughing like I do! I mean, this world is nuts.. you MUST laugh about it!

Stephanie - Stephanie is a fairly new friend, which is strange because of how very close I feel to her. We've only known each other for about 2 years, but wow, what a 2 years! She is my rock. Even when she doesn't feel like it. When I need a shoulder to lean on, someone to talk me through ANYTHING, she is absolutely there. Yes, she happens to be a Clinical Psychologist (Dr. Fearer!) :) but God has blessed her with this gift of helping others with her words. You cannot be taught this in school if God doesn't give it to you. She has tons of wisdom... and she knows how to share it without making you feel like an idiot. That takes real talent! In all honesty, I probably only really like her because she has 4 darn cute kids, two of which are 5 month old twins, and she lets me cuddle them whenever I want. I mean... everyone needs a friend like that! ;) I also laugh an awful lot with this gal.

Brandy - I've known Brandy for many years now, but feel that our friendship has grown stronger over the past couple of them. Watching Brandy is a must for anyone. I know.. I'm embarrassing her if she reads this. She never wants the attention she deserves for simply being an amazing woman, Christian, mother, wife, and friend. You don't even need to see her.. just watch her girls. All six of them. You'll see very soon that these kids are being handled with care and love. Brandy cracks me up... I love her ability to turn ridiculous daily happenings into hilarious stories. She is a GREAT advice-giver, and is so wonderful at always saying, "just seek out God and he will answer you." She is really, really good at saying what others are afraid to. Speaking the truth in a gentle but firm way because she KNOWS that it's what people need. Watching her family begin fostering children and adopt put a burden upon my own heart.  Good all around... I couldn't think of a single negative...

 Jennifer - I met Jennifer through Leslie, and we also share Stephanie as a common friend. We're getting to hang out more now that we're all done having babies and I just really like this woman! Even if she might get upset, she really isn't. :) If you could bottle whatever she has it would be the best selling "chill pill" on the market! I really like that she's pretty much an open book. You don't have to work to get to know her - you just do know her. She's hilarious and super smart. She just seems happy.. and I like that!

Maury - Okay, I've only met Maury ONCE in real life, but we've vowed to make this friendship more than an internet thing. Maury is so genuine. Her soul just seems sweet... and good. Another that has opened my eyes to the need of fostering children - and amazingly someone I feel I can email at the drop of a hat and say "please pray for me." I know she will. She also seems like an open book - and I look forward to getting to know her much better as the days go on. I have so much to learn from her.. I am excited about all she might be willing to teach me!

Mom - I am happy to say that my mom is one of my best girlfriends. I have to call her at least a few times a week just to say hello, or to spill my guts about the latest junk going on. When something's going on, I often find myself searching for a free minute to tell her. We laugh together, we've cried together, and she's always been there to come to the rescue if I needed it. Having one of your biological parents die makes you even more grateful for any time you have with the other. Your parents are such a part of you... and I pray that everyone reading this will see that before they suffer a loss.
Lou - Lou is one of the most ambitious women I know. She has a super witty mind, and if I sit and talk with her for any amount of time she will absolutely have me laughing! Her mind isn't only funny, but it's like a steel trap. The information she has stored is nothing short of ridiculous. I can ask her anything from computer/techy stuff, to kid/teacher stuff, to life/advice stuff. Life seems to roll off of her... and I think I'll start writing down all of her great come-backs. I have no idea how she thinks them up so fast!

High School Friends - If I posted on each of you it would not only make me cry but it would be so crazy long. Keitha, Ashlee, Casey, Jackie, Jerrilynn, and ALL THE REST OF YA! Some of you I've kept in touch with for years and years - others I'm just now reconnecting with. Seeing so many of you show up at my Dad's visitation and funeral... it was overwhelming. The love, it just stays doesn't it? No matter how much time has passed since we talked, or even emailed... we grew up together in a little bitty town and we'll always be connected. When I talk to you girls, you know me. You've known the many versions of me. You can appreciate where I am today and you can laugh about the past with me like no one else can. Our memories will always be precious and the new ones we're making as PARENTS is just crazy. How did we all go and grow up? I tell ya!

If your name wasn't specifically mentioned, please know that I love you equally as much. I'm typing with a whiney 2-year old in my lap... and my mind is fading. I am already thinking of so many people in our "cop family" that I could create an entirely different post about. Makes me think that calling so many people "friends" just doesn't do them justice at this point.

Friends are so precious... I am so thankful. I look at how wonderful all of mine are and wonder why on earth they want to hang around me! I think that's just really awesome for me. :) (sorry for you girls... but thanks for hanging in there with me through all of the years..)

I went through many years feeling all alone. I had no one. Now, it's just amazing. God is so good even when we don't deserve it. The next time you feel down, take a true count of how many people you have in your life that love you. If you're unhappy with a low number, pray. God is always there and when I only had my family and my husband and daughter as friends, God filled in every void space. Then, he realized I finally had room for more people and he sent in the cavalry! ! Thankful, thankful, thankful.

Saying Goodbye to the Paci

This is Samuel.. he's 2.5 years old. He'll be three way too old this coming June. Our dirty little secret...

HE STILL HAS A PACIFIER.

Yep. Really.

I don't have a recent picture of him displaying his prized possession - but trust me - we see it all of the time 'round here.

My method of weaning from the pacifier with all three kids is to pretty much be a lazy bum about it until they're so old I'm embarrassed they still have it. So, we're almost there.

I wanted to get past the holidays, and then let the shock of my dad dying pass a little before even beginning this process. For the past 2 days, we've been on it! Currently my form of getting rid of it is to go slow. When he's awake - he can keep it on the kitchen table. When it's naptime or bedtime, he can put it back into his mouth. So far so good! He's not thrown a fit yet about wanting it during the day, which is great compared to how his two older siblings did with this step. I just keep him REALLY busy and he's totally fine.

We'll probably sticking with this step for a good long while. To be honest, as I mentioned above, I'm just too lazy to go cold turkey. I don't want to lose sleep, or him lose naps over a paci. Sleep is wonderful - why screw up a good thing? My plan is more of a 6-month plan to being pacifier free. 3 is the magic age in this house. At age 3, it's gone. Also at age 3, my kids usually stop napping. Hence why age 2.5 is NOT the magic "goodbye pacifier" age.

Has anyone else ever waited this late to begin weaning from a pacifier? Any tips or pointers in case things start to go south?

Take Care of Your Own First?

I was reading a short article about the orphaned Haitian children being brought to the USA for care and possibly being adopted by American families when I became shockingly aware of the controversy surrounding this ordeal.

I was completely floored when reading the comments to the article. Many apparently feel that Americans need to only take care of American orphans. "Take care of your own" as one lovely commenter put it. Our own? What does this mean? Does that mean as a white family my family should only ever foster or adopt white children? Does it mean we should only take in children from Arkansas? From our city? "Our own.." something about this just makes me ill. We are all God's children and therefore we are all responcible for each other.

One thing that people don't often realize is there is a huge difference in the way orphans are treated here in the states verses third world countries. (not that things are perfect here.. perfect would be no such thing as an orphan b/c so many families are trying to help them.) Much less when that country is rocked to shambles and there is no food, water, or shelter. Bring those babies here!

I do understand the general idea of what they are saying, though. I've heard many people wonder why people choose to adopt internationally when there are so many children here in need of homes. My best answer, though never having walked in those shoes, would be b/c of what I mentioned above. They probably learn about the horrid conditions of the orphanages in other places and feel God telling them to act. To help.

I just find it a little bit appalling  that anyone would have a problem with children being helped by Americans. This may be a great way to spread God's word to children that possibly would not have heard it otherwise. This could start a great movement of love. Who knows what God is using this for, and using America for in this eve of such destruction.

Am I blinded by ideology? Should we only be focused on the children without homes in America?

Kids Update

I can't remember the last time I did a post about the kids, and since progress reports were sent home yesterday, I figured today was a good time to whip one up. Thankfully I am very pleased with my two big kids and how they're doing in school.

Madison, Miss Big 3rd Grader is keeping true to her same grades and behavior in elementary school. Her report showed:

Reading - 98

Literacy - 99

Math     - 95

Writing  - 98

All S's in PE, Music, Art, and Handwriting.

So go Madison! I am so proud of her! She is a very hard worker and has been given the ROC award by her teacher. (Really Outstanding Citizen) According to her teacher Madison minds very well, is quiet and well-mannered, and is always ready to help another student. She must get this from her father...

Then there's our Carter Man. He is working on his second semester of Kindergarten and honestly, I am blown away by how well he is doing. Everything anyone ever told me about boys and school he has proven FALSE. This is how his report card looks for 1st Sem.:

Reading - 99

Math     - 99

Writing  - 98

All S's in PE, Music, and Conduct

Wow!! Carter, though definitely my most silly, hard to control, and emotional child, has shown that school is just what he needed. He not only loves it but is just thriving! He often says that "everyone is my friend" and there isn't a single subject or activity that he doesn't enjoy. His teacher says that she truly cannot imagine him ever getting into trouble at home. (I suppose he saves it up for me... which is fine!)

Carter has been described by his teachers as a very intense and diligent worker, perfectionist, eager to please, super friendly and sweet, and a wonderful listener that is excited to do ANYTHING the teacher says is coming up next. He just likes to stay busy! (he is so much like his mommy... if I get bored, LOOK OUT!)

So, that's our two school-aged children. Now the 'baby.' Okay, I really can't claim him as a baby anymore now that he's 2.5, but I'm eeking out as much babyhood as I can from MY baby.

Samuel is just awesome.  He is usually very laid-back, though he has quite the temper. I actually think that once he grows into his emotions he'll be really really calm and go-with-the-flow. Or, he'll remain this way and will be super happy as long as everyone is doing what he wants, when he wants. He is the baby, after all.

Right now we're doing some mini-school sessions at home that consist of playing with Playdough to help build hand strength (since Carter struggled with that in school for a year.) and to learn colors and shapes. Not to mention it's his favorite thing to do and lots of fun!

We're working on all of those classic two-year-old things like counting, learning the alphabet, colors, shapes, sorting, etc. He's also doing really well with his manners (yes sir, please, thank you, cleaning up his messes when asked, etc.) His favorite daily activities are reading, coloring, playing with Play-Dough, GOING OUTSIDE FOR AS LONG AS MOM CAN STAND THE COLD, and watching a few of his favorite shows. These would be Dora the Explorer, Max and Ruby, and Go Diego Go.

So, everyone is doing really well. We had a few tough weeks with everyone's emotions and behavior following my dad's death, which is to be expected. It seems that we've talked, prayed, and finally began working these issues out and our household is becoming calm and orderly again. I am so very thankful for that!

Congo Women - Most Brutilized Victims of War

Picture this scenario:

You're sitting in your home, making lunch, chatting with your children, and going on with daily life as you know it. Suddenly you hear a commotion outside and your front door slams open. Six men armed with guns, machetes, and knives storm into your home. Your children scream and cry. They grab you. They hold you down, and all six of them take turns brutally raping you as your family watches. When they finish they try to force your own little brother to also rape you and stab him to death when he refuses. He is only six years old. When they leave you are kidnapped and raped every day for 8 months by them, you become pregnant with one of their children, and you have no idea if your own children are dead or alive. Finally you get away, return home and find your children are alive, but are shunned because you have been violated. Your family, friends, and your entire city avoid you like the plague because of what happened to you. Now what?

Is this tough to read? Imagine living it.

Every single day women in the Congo are raped, kidnapped, and murdered as the country sits back and watches. Rape is the weapon of choice used by the angry and power-hungry men in the area as they try to gain control of everyone in every village. The rape is so brutal that many women lose control of bodily functions afterwards (due to permanent damage that only surgery can correct), or they die from subsequent infections.

When they are known to have been raped the woman's family often casts her away and it is not uncommon for these same women to starve to death due to having no one to turn to, and no where to go. Women in the Congo are said to be more likely to be raped than to learn how to read. Can you imagine living this hell?

It isn't just women that suffer this fate. Children as young as 3 are enduring the same horrific life. Rape is now spreading to men to force the fear even farther into the society. Now that it's happening to men... maybe something will be done to stop it.

These issues are real. These issues are happening TODAY. The more I read about it, see about it, and learn about it, the more I think, "We must do SOMETHING."

America can get a really bad rep from other countries, but there is no other nation in the world that gives as much as we do. Not we as in our government, but we as individuals that ban together for a cause. Americans are by nature humanitarians. We love people and we cannot bear to see suffering occur.

Sometimes this lack of being able to handle how sad and upset knowing about other's suffering makes us, we turn away. We bury our heads. We say "that's so horrible.. I can't read anymore of it!" This is NOT how problems get solved. This is NOT how women with no hope find help. This is NOT what you would want others to do if you were that African woman, victimized, brutalized, starving to death, and likely now infected with HIV.

With everything I've been reading on this topic, one group keeps showing up again and again. Women for Women. They help these women that have no hope and they teach them skills to help them make money. They teach them to read. They make life possible for them. If possible, I highly encourage everyone to support their cause with donations. If you're unable to provide monetary support, please provide PRAYER support. God loves these people and I personally know the power of prayer to be truly amazing. Dedicate time each day to have focused prayer time for not just the women, but the people in the Congo and in Africa as a whole. That their hearts will change, that women will be seen as equals to men, that children will have the same rights as everyone else.

Last but not least, EDUCATE YOURSELF. Your own home, your own family, your own church, and your own friends are not what make this world go round. God created us to worship him and to love each other. Though they are not near us in geography, according to God's word they ARE our neighbors. They are our brothers and sisters in Christ. Will you at least read this story (by Anderson Cooper and CBS News) and see if God tugs on your heart to do something? Maybe he will, maybe he won't. But, don't hide... it is there and it is happening whether we ignore it or not.

Ridiculously Easy Steps to Help You Lose Weight

It's a brand new year, and I have no doubt that roughly 90% of people I know have vowed that THIS is the year. The year they will get fit, get healthy, and shed any extra pounds. I know that I am definitely in this mix of folks - so I thought I'd post a few very simple steps that anyone can do each day to help reach these goals.

Easy Step #1 - Drink More Water

Did you know that drinking water is one of the most important things to do in order to lose weight? How easy is that? When you drink proper amounts of water each day, it not only cleanses your body, getting rid of old, nasty water that your body has stored in fear of drought (which is pretty much the #1 reason people get bloated - dehydration), and helps carry toxins out as well - but it actually changes the way you metabolise fat. Without enough water in your body each day, you CANNOT get rid of stored fat. Is anyone else running to the faucet right now? For a quick and great read on this topic, click here.

Easy Step #2 - Cut Out One Unnecessary Snack

If anyone out there is like me, you reach for snacks for many reasons other than your body needs more calories. My snack-attacks usually occur when a favorite show is on, one of my kids is whining and I need IMMEDIATE relief, I'm tired, I'm happy, friends are over, I'm lonely... the list goes on!

Cutting out even just one of your usual snack binges can equal MAJOR body changes. Depending on your current weight, even just cutting out a minor 300 calories a day can equal some pretty cool weight loss each week. (couple this with the increased water intake.. you're a fat burning machine!)

Be careful when you snack.. don't kid yourself with the 100 calorie snack packs. 100 calories of white flour and sugar is still 100 calories that immediately convert to fat. These snacks often satisfy your immediate craving, but only leave you hungry and craving more and more. Instead, satisfy your sweet tooth with a half of a banana topped with some sugar-free Cool-Whip. (or a fruit of your choice.) This is our favorite dessert around here... almost no calories, fat, or refined sugar. Your body will be so thankful that your thighs will shrink.

Easy Step #3 - Write it Down

Keeping a food journal has been proven time and again to help most people choose more healthy foods. For me, writing down what I eat from time to time helps me evaluate the TRUTH about my daily choices. At the end of the day I can often find that I ate a ton of carbohydrates and almost no protein. Some days I see that I only ate 2 servings of fruits and veggies... no wonder I was craving that Snickers Bar...

Even if you don't keep count of calories, fat, and all that jazz... just seeing food choices on paper will often help you face the truth about what you're putting into your body. Most Americans know what they need, and most of us know what to eat. What we typically do is manage to trick ourselves into believing we're doing "a pretty good job" of keeping our insides healthy when we're probably lacking a ton of vitamins and minerals each day.

Easy Step #4 - MOVE YOUR BODY

Do you know what burns fat? Muscle. Do you know how to get muscle? MOVE.

Exercise is a dirty word for a lot of folks, and boy have I been in that club! Some days I still have to make myself get up and get active. On the worst of days, when I really just cannot make myself do any cardio, I simply pull out my hand weights and do a few sets of different exercises while I watch my favorite shows. I can do pretty much anything as long as the TV is entertaining me. You can always start small and only committ to lifting during commercial breaks. I mean, you're probably only channel surfing during those anyway.

Here is an amazing site I stumbled upon the other day. I plan to search through it each day to find new moves to incorporate to my regular routine. Boredom is the #1 reason I give up on exercise so I have quite the collection of dvd's and outdoor activities to choose from.

Easy Step #5 - DON'T GIVE UP

You know at least four insanely easy steps now. You know what you can do. You know that if you do these things you'll feel so much better in a week. In a month you might just be amazed at how your body is changing, and how you actually feel proud of yourself.

Stop looking at diets. Stop trying to lose 7 pounds in a week. Do it RIGHT this time so this will be the last time. Small steps that are manageable and don't overwhelm you are the perfect way to begin. Adding these steps to your on-going routine can just give you the extra boost you're looking for.

Find a friend to do it with you, comment here if you're looking for someone to support you and help hold you accountable. It's a new year, and maybe it's time for a new you. A you that is caring about you.

New Year's Resolutions

I feel the need to start this post by saying, "How on earth is it 2010?!"

Now that I've gotten that out of my system... it seems obvious that most bloggers will want to share their New Year's resolutions. I'd guess that many of them are things like lose weight, quite smoking, and get out of debt.

My resolutions are a bit different. I haven't given them a ton of thought, but the best I can figure, I have very few.

1. Move

In 2010 I plan to have my house sold and my family moved into a different house on a larger piece of land, closer to town. We're soo close to getting there. If the perfect place would show up, that would really help us get this show on the road! Alas, small town living provides very little in the way of real estate.

2. Expand My Business

I can't believe how things have blown up in the past 6 months or so with Canine Corrections. I hope to keep this trend going in a big way this year. This is a big reason for resolution #1. More land that's closer to town will likely equal more business. We'll see if it's in the cards!

3. Don't Get Lazy on Health

Being busier than ever makes it harder than ever to eat right and exercise. Thankfully my job is centered around mucho walking and jogging.. but the eating? Not exactly. I took about a month off of even thinking about what I was eating with Dad passing away and the holiday season.. so now I've got to refocus myself and start planning out healthy meals again. The fact that Clayton is signing up to run a half marathon in the spring helps me do this! (he asked if I wanted to do it with him.. HA!)

I think that's about it! I feel pretty good about everything right now, so that's a different way to start a new year for me. I suppose I stuck to my last year's resoultions.. whatever those were, to get here.

Last year was full of amazing times along with some of the most stressful, difficult, painful, and exhausting times of my life. Isn't it odd how that tends to happen? The good with the bad as they say.

Is anyone brave enough to share their resolutions? Beware.. I might hold you to them!