Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Posted by Mandy at 11:12 AM
Do you remember the days before you had kids? For some of us.. our brain power has been nearly sucked dry and thinking back is nearly impossible... but try if you will.
I was thinking the other day about the type of mom I thought I would be. Even when I had my first baby, I had visions of the things we'd do together when she was older. When I had my second child, I had these novel ideas of how life would be through the years. By the third, I think I had pretty much figured out that those ideas were not gonna happen.
I used to be super creative. I loved art - painting, sketching, even coloring in a child's coloring book was a great way to pass the time. For a few years I kept this side of me up with the kids. And then, days started showing up that I'd sit with a blank sheet of paper, a great piece of black chalk, and... and... I'd sit there. The paper wasn't all that was blank - so was my mind!
"What are you going to draw mamma?"
I had no idea. Pictures that are pleasing to kids are easy.
"Will you draw me a flower?" "A dog?" "A worm?"
But, eventually, I stopped drawing things I loved and ONLY created art on a 2nd grade level. (well, that might be a bit generous...) I literally could not think of a single thing I wanted to draw...
As time passed, I totally lost my creative edge. I can barely draw a pretty heart anymore. One side is always too big, one hump on top is always more round than the corresponding side... when did that become difficult to create? Thankfully, my 5 year old son appreciates my efforts.
It just hit me that I am NOT the mom I thought I would be. I am NOT Suzy-Homemaker like I imagined. I'm not crafty. I have a difficult time thinking of fun things to make with toilet paper rolls and hot glue. I don't see a pile of trash and think of all the fun projects that we could do with them. My daughter definitely does... but I don't. Wow! I never saw this coming!
Another dirty secret? I don't like cooking with my kids. Yeah.. I said it. I hate it. They get in the way and they make a huge mess and they make a 10 minute job turn into a 35 minute job. I keep trying to think of ways to teach them to crack eggs and measure flour without actually having to let them do it. So far, no good idea has come to me on that one.
I thought I'd be that mom that loves to bake with my kids, that loves letting them help me cook supper and such. I just don't... I really like being in the kitchen ALONE. Those family shows that picture a food fight in the kitchen full of smiles and laughter would just not happen in this house. If any one of my children purposefully threw a pile of food across the room... well.. let's just say there would be no laughter.
Of course, the kids love to help me cook so I put on a happy face and take an extra 35 minutes to do everything for the sake of making memories. No one read this post to them - don't call me out for the horribly impatient cooker I really am. So far my front is working.
I must have lucked out that I have kids that love to use their own imaginations and then draw me into their games, instead of looking to me for entertainment. I guess over the years they figured out that if they want to bake a cake they better ask their father. (they also learned to ask him for things like putting up a crazy zip-line, building an INSANELY BIG tree house, and putting up a tire swing.) What am I good for again? Hmm...