The first official meeting, the Inquiry meeting with DHS, was this past Saturday. Wow, my head was spinning when it was over! There were some really amazing foster families there to share their experiences with us newbies, and some really great people that were in the same place we are. Just starting.
I got really excited and scared when the foster care liaison said something along the lines of the end of the meeting completing another step in the right direction. Wow! Step 2, already! (step 1 - tons of paperwork. Step 2 - inquiry meeting.)
Next on the agenda is our first home visit, which apparently will be pretty soon. It is supposed to happen before our parenting classes begin (if I remember correctly) and those are scheduled to start around May 4. Wow!! Nine weeks of classes, plus another home visit... and is that it? Really? Working with DHS I keep reminding myself that it probably won't all go so smoothly as it sounds and it might take a LONG time to get this all done.. but I really have no idea.
This makes me super anxious to find a new house.. now. I thought I had found the PERFECT house. After all of my searching.... finally! I went to look at it with my realtor, fell in love, convinced Clayton to give it a shot, and not 3 days later the people that own it decided not to sell. I was/am so heartbroken. To the point that my realtor is working on figuring out what led them to suddenly take it off the market and if there's a way they'd reconsider. It seemed so perfect for where our life is going. Lots of bedrooms, a fantastic layout for a house full of kids... houses like that just don't exist from what I can figure from my hunting experience.
So, I sit in waiting. Maybe God slammed that door shut because our perfect house is somewhere else and he knew I was ready to move into that one. It's easy to say that, but in all honesty, I'm just feeling crummy about it. I've gone to look at a different house since then and thought I'd love it, and couldn't "feel" it. It can't compare to that one.. the lost one.
So much going on - and none of it is in my control. For a Type A personality like myself.. this equals a lot of anxiety. I know... I know.. "give it to God." I'm REALLY trying to... honest! I keep saying aloud, "Okay God.. we've put our 'yes' on the table...now send us somewhere so that we can do this a bit easier, PLEASE!" I'm sure he's laughing at me... and shaking his head in disbelief that I still don't always completely trust that he's got everything under control. I mean.. he spoke the world into existence, yet I don't think he will be able to get us into the right house.
For today, I will look outside of my window and be thrilled with this gorgeous weather. I will be thankful for a roof over my head and a floor at my feet... and I will beg God to hurry up already... ;)