Sunday, March 12, 2006

Are you lonesome tonight?

Posted by Mandy at 6:10 PM
Is anyone besides me feeling a little lonely tonight? As I've mentioned Clayton is on nights for the second month in a row and I sure do miss him. It's so different not seeing each other during the day than at night. The kids are both in bed now (and Carter went down NO PROBLEM tonight! yippie!) and I'm just up spilling my thoughts and feelings on this blogg since my main man is out on the road. I remember when I was young a preacher saying how you never have to feel lonely because God is always with you. Good point... great in theory... but it isn't working for me right now. Does that make me not a good Christian? Does it mean I'm not close to God? Sometimes I wonder... Why do I not 'feel' God with me all of the time as others seem to? I 'know' he's there, that's a step in the right direction I suppose.

Oh, note to Jeff, I have no idea where Clayton was working last night or any this weekend. He and his buddies did do a lot of check points... but typically if he turns his lights on, he's pulling someone over. ;)

What's everyone think of the GORGEOUS weather we've been so blessed with lately? The kids and I spent almost all day outside and I am paying for that now! What is it about just SITTING outside on a warm day that drains every ounce of energy you have? The kids, of course, acted as if they were as energized as ever! Even after supper and baths they were bouncing around all over the place. I actually had to ask Madison to please not talk for a little while! (I promise it sounds more mean than it was!) I guess it did wear Carter out since he only got up one time after I layed him down tonight. Last night he only got up maybe 5 times which is much better than the 55 times the previous night.

In closing, on a way downer note, I wanted to ask all who read to lift a family up in prayer. A family I don't know the names of, I don't know what they look like... but Clayton was telling me about a call they got (I think Monticello Police) about a 22yr old father that had rolled over and suffocated his 4 month old baby while sleeping with it on the couch. The father was drunk at the time. My IMMEDIATE thought was "What a moron! Doesn't he know NEVER to drink and then sleep with your child? And that a couch is NOT a safe place to cosleep anyway?!" But later on I thought "My gosh... that poor man will forever live with the knowledge that he alone took the life of his baby." My heart aches for him, for the mother of the baby, for their entire family. So, prayers for this family are in order. Sorry to end on such a sad note!! I'll try to have an incredibly nonsense ridden post tomorrow :)


Suzanne on Sunday, 12 March, 2006 said...

i'm not so lonesome tonight. i have my man home. but a couple of years ago, more nights than not, i was alone going to bed. i know the ache. i'm sorry woman.

i heard about the baby. it's made me sick to my stomach for days. i can't imagine. and hope i never have to. i haven't prayed for them. but must. your "downness" may prompt prayers that the family desperately needs right now.

God is always close. but He may not always feel tangible. sometimes this is us and sometimes it's Him. i wouldn't worry about overanalyzing that part of it unless you feel like you're supposed to. like you said, the knowledge is a good step. when matt worked nights, i had only God for company so often. and in that time my relationship with my Father grew leaps and bounds. it didn't always seem like it at the time, but looking back i can see the growth and thank Him abundantly for the loneliness He allowed me so that i could seek Him. you're asking the right questions. don't always fill your loneliness with stuff. give into it, and talk openly with Him. don't just "pray". visit with Him. the way you do with Clayton. and sit quietly imagining Him on the couch with you. (cause He is). be still. and know that He is God. and feel the warmth. i love you, girl. hang in there. days are comin' again. :)

mrsmarkdave on Friday, 06 August, 2010 said...

I know my comment comes more than 4 years later. But I'm leaving it anyway :-)
Still feeling lonely even though we don't HAVE to doesn't make you a bad Christian or far away from God. Sometimes, (if you ask me) he wants us not to feel him so that we search for him. And loneliness is a real feeling, and it's not bad to feel lonely.

About the family whose dad rolled over onto the baby. I know exactly what you mean when you were critical at first and then you changed your attitude. My husband's cousin lost her newborn son when the dad rolled over on him while sleeping on the couch. I can't imagine having to live with that forever.

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