First Day of School

Though I'm sure Blogland is filled with countless "first day of school" posts, mine seems like the most important. As I got the kids ready to take their annual back to school pictures, my heart was both excited and saddened by the addition of Carter into each picture. Helping them stand where I wanted them, with backpacks and lunchboxes arranged, seemed a bit surreal. How can it be that I now have two children in school?

Madison was so excited about entering second grade. While we were writing her name on every school supply of hers last night, she began to squeel each time she grabbed a new folder to put her mark on it. She had the pleasure of picking out whatever notebooks and folders she wanted for school. Each had a different picture of a puppy on the front. I have no doubt that she will be talking about animal rescue in her class. Her teacher will probably wonder what kind of family this child is living with.

We made it to town and onto the main school road at 7:30am on the nose. I wasn't able to drop her at the front door of the school until 7:45. Fifteen minutes to go about one mile! Traffic is always terrible the first day of school... and it lingers that way a bit the entire week. Thankfully she was on time and was excited to be a 'big kid' that was walking in all on her own. She pointed to the younger kids holding their parents' hands walking into the building and commented,

"I remember being too little to walk in by myself, too. Now, I'm one of the biggest kids at school!"

She's right, she is now in the biggest grade allowed at her elementary school. How did that happen so fast?

Carter couldn't wait to go to his class this morning. When we arrived his best friend Jessie was there. He ran up to greet us and the two boys walked around each table, wide-eyed as can be, searching for the perfect 'before class' activity. They settled on scissors, paper, and glue sticks. Jessie's mother and I watched them together, both of us with our one year olds in our arms. I think we were both in disbelief that this day had actually come and our baby boys were in preschool.

A few minutes after the boys started playing it was clean up time. I was afraid Carter would be a little upset since he had just gotten going on his project, but he is such a good cleaner that he happily cleaned up his spot, and every other spot around the entire class that he thought needed tidying up a bit. The children were instructed to "push their chairs in before sitting on the carpet," but many forgot, so Carter went around pushing all of the chairs in as well. At this point, I realized, he would thrive in this class! He walked to thr colorful carpet and picked his favorite color square to sit on. Seeing him following instructions and being so incredibly well-behaved made me so proud!

It was music and dancing time and I wasn't sure if Carter would want to participate. He did! He did all of the motions and sang all of the words to the three songs and kept looking back at me, obviously proud of himself. During the song "If you're happy and you know it," he looked back at me to make sure it was okay if he actually shouted hooray like the other kids. We have been having the "be a little quiet at school" talk for the past week. A reassuring nod from Mommy made him clap and jump with excitement as he got to shout the next HOORAY with everyone else.

Finally, they lined up to go wash hands because it was breakfast time. (they eat breakfast together every morning, so Carter will eat twice each morning! He'll love that...) I watched him stand nicely in line and walk out of the door. I followed behind with two other moms and I hugged and kissed him goodbye. After our hug I said, "I love you, Carter! Have a fantastic day!" He replied, "I love you too, Mommy! I'm going to go eat with my friends and I'll see you later."

He is going to be fine!

Samuel and I went back to the van, and as I started buckling him into his carseat, I couldn't help but stare at the two empty spots in my van that have been filled all summer. I'm fairly used to Madison being at school, but having her home was so fun. I will definitely miss our lazy mornings together and our late nights up reading Laura Ingalls Wilder books. Seeing Carter's empty carseat brought tears to my eyes. I thought I would hold it together and avoid a tear fest, but I couldn't.

How is that seat empty? How is he already four years old? Where did the time go?

The drive home was much too quiet. Samuel fell asleep (he did have to get up two hours earlier than he has in months this morning,) and I was only left with my thoughts and the radio station taking calls from other mommies that had dropped their babies off at school, too.

I realized that I wasn't sad that they were at school. I'm not sad that they're not here at home. I know that I will go get them in a little while and we'll have fun all afternoon and evening. School starting is sad, for me, because it is just a huge reminder of how fast children grow. Taking Samuel into Carter's class was so strange. He is the same age that Carter was when Madison was in that same classroom, with the same teacher. (per my request!) How could it have been three years ago that Carter was on my hip and we were taking Madison to class? How can Madison now be in second grade and not sitting at the table cutting and pasting like Carter was?

Time just goes too fast. Today is a great reminder to make each moment count. Not only with our kids, but with our friends, our spouses, and people in general. I know that today when I pick up my big kids from school, I will have a new found appreciation for them. I will hug them, kiss them, and be genuinely excited to bring them home to spend time with them.

I hope everyone else's first day of school went as well as ours did!

Rejection

Thankfully, this post isn't about my rejection (though it may be soon enough), but about the rejection emails I just had to send to five families that wanted Sadie.

I had NO idea I would get so flooded with emails from people desperately wanting to adopt this pooch. Within three days I had to email the rescue group leader I'm working with and beg her to please take Sadie off of all websites! It took me over a week to sort through numerous adoption applications to narrow it down to six. Finally, this morning, I decided who my #1 candidate would be. I had the great pleasure in letting them know that they had been chosen so now we can move forward. Directly following that, I wrote the sweetest rejection letters known to man. I'm keeping the unchosen families on waiting lists, by their request, in case the #1 family doesn't work out for some reason. I let them know how fantastic it is that they're seeking out rescue dogs and encouraged them to continue the hunt for a dog that is greatly in need of a home. To be honest, ANY of the final 6 would have been great homes for Sadie. It really is wonderful to be in contact with so many kind-hearted, genuinely good people.

The #1 family chosen is from Little Rock and they have three kids, youngest being 4yrs old. I'm assuming one parent stays at home full-time due to the fact that they said Sadie will not be left alone during the day. This helped my decision! Sadie needs a lot of attention and is not used to being alone. They seem really ready to learn and accept responsibility for a little fur ball that loves to romp and play and have her belly rubbed.

Once Sadie is placed, we will make a decision about seeking out another dog to foster. Stay tuned! More dog rescue coming in the future.

Skulls For Kids?

In a recent school clothes shopping trip, I was stunned to see how many stores now have skulls and crossbones strewn across little girl and boy tops. I would see a shirt for Madison that was a beautiful color and the perfect cut, only to find a boney face with a bow on its head staring back at me. Imaginging my little girl - my ballerina, my softball player, my environmentalist - sporting a look such as this put a bad taste in my mouth.

As store after store marketed this look, I began to realize that I must be one of the few parents that find this a bit, well, distasteful. Obviously others are snatching these styles up or they wouldn't be cluttering rack after rack. Is this just one more area in which I will be considered "that mom"?

Of all of the graphics that one can put on their child's body... why this one? Why is this so popular? What happened to non-offensive symbols like peace signs?

Has anyone else noticed this trend? What are your thoughts on skulls for kids?

This top is from Old Navy. You can view it here.

Putting Myself Out There

Yesterday I got a dash of courage, after a great pep-talk from my writing mentor, and called the editor for one of our state's larger newspapers.

The first phone call resulted in it being a bad time. I offered to call back later.

Later rolls around and I call again. The editor's receptionist informs me that he is in a meeting but she will give him my name and number. I couldn't help but notice that she didn't say that he would call me back...

Feeling down and defeated before even being rejected, I was happily stunned when my phone rang and I recognized the area code as being him. Unlike a previous editor I have spoken to, he was very friendly and laid-back. He didn't shoot me down, and most importantly, he didn't say, "no." He also didn't say,

"We can't afford to hire anyone else on at the moment."
-or-
"We only let our on staff writers do op/ed pieces."
-or-
"Two calls in one day? Stop stalking me, lady."

He even asked me to send him some stuff via email... which felt like a big positive. I am going to patiently wait until Monday to contact him if he hasn't gotten back to me in that time. I'm sure he has more important things to do than worry about me, so I will have to be a small thorn in his side until he agrees to publish me.

Throwing myself, and my work and ideas, out there for someone to see and possibly reject is extremely hard. My writing mentor, that I mentioned above, has already given me "it's only one man's opinion if he isn't into it..." talk. He also gave me wise words of a seasoned writer,

"A willing editor is half the battle won!"

I hesistated to post about this because I really do not want to have to come back later and post if nothing comes of it. Swallowing my pride is tough. I am being brave in hopes that my struggle to make my dream come true will encourage others to do the same. Doing nothing will always result in nothing. Christians would call that reaping what you sow.

I Hate Hormones

I try to steer clear of talking about too many women's issues to keep my guy readers from gagging, but this one I must speak of. My new found, ultimate hate of hormones. Not all hormones - just mine.

I've had my share of run-ins with the dreaded estrogen demon that lurks unnoticed in many women. She came in the form of PCOS which, strangely, made the even more horrible female hormone testosterone kick in high gear. Women with too much estrogen AND testosterone are not happy campers.

Nothing short of God's grace seemingly took PCOS from me, at least for the time being, since having Samuel. The very thing that nearly kept me from ever having another child, seemed to be almost cured by my pregnancy. Knowing that pregnancy only makes PCOS worse, leads me to know that God simply put his hand on me and blessed me physically. Well, until this week that is.

Can someone please explain to me why I continuously feel as though I have raging PMS. Once the hag leaves, you should have a feeling of euphoric health... better than ever.. refreshed and ready to tackle the world again. I have the total opposite feeling. If I didn't just have my old friend I would even swear I was the dreaded PG word. That is almost impossible, so I must look into other options.

After days and days of having all kinds of PMS'y symptoms, (cramping, sore bbs, moody, echaustion,etc),I finally called my friend to see if she had any words of wisdom. We both decided that we had no idea what it was but stress could be a possibility. Another possibility could be that my hormones are just out of wack b/c my little man hasn't nursed in about a month. Would the effects of him weaning be this delayed? I don't recall going through any physical symptoms after Carter weaned, and his weaning was much more abrupt than Samuel's very gradual weaning. I do remember having emotional side effects, similar to Baby Blue's, but nothing physical.

So, calling all moms. What is this? Has anyone else experienced this? Any ideas or input is appreciated.

I have my oh so fun yearly exam next month and if I'm still feeling wacky I'll speak to my doctor about it. If I feel worse in a few days/weeks I suppose I'll rule out pg with a test, but as of now I'm fairly certain that is not the culprit.

Give me your best educated guess... or first hand experiences.

$$$

I spent the entire morning calling every vet, both in this town and in surrounding areas, to get prices on general vet care and spaying/neutering for rescue dogs. It wasn't surprising that every single vet I spoke to had no special discounts or programs available for those doing foster care for pups.

One vet clinic took my name and number and said they'd have the vet call me back. Amazingly, he called within the hour. He was the only vet, including OUR OWN VET, that actually said he was very interested in sitting down with me in person and talking about this more. He said that in the past he had been "burned" by stuff like this so he was leery of it, but wanted to talk more. It sounds like if I can convince him that all of this puppy's vet care is coming out of pocket and not from some government grant money, then he'll try to help me out. The lowest number I found for shots,worming, and spaying was $138. That wouldn't be so bad for one dog, but considering I just shelled out a few hundred dollars for our own two puppies' vet care/heart-worm meds and have to get those two spayed and neutered in about two months... well, that number is seeming more steep the more I stare at it.

Thankfully, a lady I'm in contact with that is helping me with the adoption process has offered to handle the vet bill and she will then take the adoption fee. This is fantastic! I emailed her and told her about this particular vet wanting more information and possibly doing it for cheaper and I hope she is excited over this as I am. Hopefully this would not only save doggie foster parents money, but also save adoptive doggie parents money too! If I'm only paying $80 instead of $150, then I'm only charging $80. Sounds like a good deal all around to me.

Our own foster pooch, Sadie, has only been on Petfinder for one day and I've already received an email from an interested lady in Camden. I answered all of her questions and I hope she emails back soon... her family sounds perfect for this dog!

Will let you know what happens with the vet and the possible adoptive family!

The Dryer Legacy Lives On

Anyone blessed to know Amanda and Justin Dryer knows that dog rescue is a huge passion of theirs. Clayton and I found them kindred spirits in their going green quests and love of pups. We have always dreamed of the day that we could have major amounts of acreage to live on so that we could start our own, small scale, dog/animal rescue. Seeing the Dryers do it from their own backyard was inspiring!



Anyone that knows us well, remembers that just a few months ago our family was dealing with what I like to call The Great Dog Debate. The kids and I vs. Clayton. We wanted a dog, he wasn't ready. Obviously, we won out... Bella and Lincoln became ours after we saw a huge litter of puppies in a teeny tiny kennel. We just had to bring some of them home.

Imagine my surprise when, three days ago, Clayton brings home this teeny tiny fluffy ball of fur. He agreed to take her from another State Trooper that could not find a home for her. His own rescued dog gave birth to a litter of pups and she was the only one left. It's amazing that he found homes for the others!




So, I suppose we're officially getting into the lifestyle of being puppy/dog foster parents. The kids love this pooch.. she's so sweet. She even tolerates Samuel's constant grabbing and smacking. (poor thing.) Clayton, the total "anti-dog-in-our-house" guy, even lets her stay inside during the day. *gasp* She does sleep out in the fence with Bella and Lincoln at night. She's already almost 100% house broken! It's been neat having a little prissy dog... we've always had big powerful breeds and I never considered taking a small fuzzy type before. She's a lot of fun and the kids love that she gets to ride everywhere in the van with us.



She's a chiuaua mix, if you can believe that from the looks of her. She is a small, possibly even could be considered "toy" size.



She will be posted on a few dog adoption sites really soon, and there will be a fee to cover vet costs. (she will be completely vetted soon, shots, worming, etc.) If you are looking for a cutesy indoor pup that has a moderate energy level and IS NOT a typical yapper, she's a good one! (she's only ever barked one time.. when playing with Lincoln.) You can comment here or email me at: pupfostermom(at)gmail(dot)com.



She will NOT be free unless I know you very, very well. Charging at least some sort of adoption fee has been recommended to me by both the Dryers and other people I've spoken to in the Humane Society to help insure a responsible adopting party. In general, people willing to pay a fee to adopt a rescue dog will keep them up to date on shots and general vet care. I'm brand spankin' new at this so I'm following the advice of the veterans leading me.

Let the Dog Rescuing begin!

Baby Bug - Go Away!

I knew it would happen eventually. I assumed it would happen now. I underestimated how it would affect me. The dreaded baby bug. The itch. The desire that will never be filled.

I felt a twinge of pain when Samuel turned one, knowing that my baby days were behind me. Though he's still much of a baby turning into a toddler, it is a transformation that is happening much too quickly. It leaves me feeling as though in another year or two I'll be wishing for another. I realize, thankfully, that it is a purely emotional feeling. In all honesty, if I were to find myself pregnant anytime soon I would be completely freaked out. I think my sadness over my baby boy growing up is morphing into a desire for another baby. In reality, I really just wish I could keep Samuel this age forever. His sweet baby face, his adorable curly hair, those big blue eyes, and those famous chubby thighs.... knowing all of these features (minus the big blue eyes and possibly the curly hair) will be fading soon is a bit heartbreaking.

Each night as I lay him in his crib for bed, I take more and more time to watch him sleeping. I study how small he is in his cave like bed with his white 'blankie' held close to his face. His little pacifier laying beside him where it has fallen out unnoticed.

I constantly flash back to a memory that is sealed in my brain of putting Carter to bed, when Samuel was soon to be entering the world. I sat beside Carter on his bed, stroking his hair, and I stared at the crib across the room. The smell of the sheets freshly washed in Dreft and the quilt perfectly folded and layed across the crib rail had me so anxious and impatiently waiting for my C-Section date. I remember opening that first pack of newborn size diapers... I looked at them and cried. I couldn't wait to finally have my baby. I thought of the many months that I had convinced myself that the Moss house would never again have those smells and sweet sights again.

And, here I am again. Slowly putting away the baby items that we have used for three children in a row. First the changing table, that my huge babies can never fit on for long. Then the bouncy seat and the baby swing. The two hardest things for me to pack away were the amazing blue swaddling blanket, bought just for Samuel, and my much loved co-sleeper. My mind again realizes that we will likely never have those baby smells and sweet sights in the Moss house again. I suppose I have to grieve the loss of this phase of life in order to move on to the next.

I have realized that I am possibly one of those women that will always miss having a baby. I think it's a bit comical how I idealize having a baby... even after just experiencing it. When I think of having a baby I picture peacefully nursing my infant, rocking him to sleep, and feeling that sweet baby breath on my neck. The reality of having a baby, at least for me, typically involved hours of crying each evening, a painful csection to recover from, a frantic nursling that can cause much stress during feeding times, and pacing the floor for hours trying to get a gassy baby to finally sleep. Amazing how just a few months can almost erase these images from my mind!

So, with a heavy heart I am trying to move ahead. I am reminding myself of how much easier life is already. How portable Samuel is becoming and how next summer we are hoping to even take a trip to the beach with the kids. We are planning on starting our, at least once a year, family vacations. Selfishly I'm thinking of staying in shape, getting more and more serious with my writing, and taking more time to enjoy lunches with friends and dinners away with my husband. Those things all sound pretty fine... and thankfully they do help ease the pain of saying goodbye to feeling a baby squirm in my belly, excitedly awaiting the birthday, and seeing that sweet face for the first time.

The Summer's End

It is incredibly hard for me to believe that school will be in session in a matter of two weeks. With school supplies almost totally purchased and waiting in a sack on the table, two new backpacks, two new lunchboxes, two new pairs of tennis shoes, and two of my children gearing up to enter the land of learning, my head is beginning to spin.

School starting up always brings mixed feelings of excitement and sadness. The sadness part is fairly obvious. The days sleeping in, running here and there together, and playing in the water are coming to an end. They will be replaced with the early morning rush and a fairly lonely drive home for me with just my toddler taking up a seat in our van that is typically much more full with children.

The excitement, thankfully, overtakes the sadness. Both of my children are anxiously awaiting meeting their new teachers and making new friends in the upcoming days. Madison is old enough now to understand that school will not always be full of fun, and when asked, "Are you ready for school to start?" she answers, "Yes and no."

We found out that she will be having Mrs. Hunter for her second grade teacher and I have heard great things about her. Madison is more excited now that some of her older friends have told her what a nice lady her teacher is. We also read off the class list to her and she squealed with excitement hearing several of her friends' names. It sounds like this will be a great year for my little second grader!

Carter will be going to school for the first time. His special request for a "spider man backpack and blue lunchbox" has been filled and we are all anxiously awaiting our meeting night at the preschool to find out who his teacher will be and meet some of the children in his class. He is going to love the hustle and bustle of school. His need for constant entertainment will be more than met, and I know his thirst for learning will only grow. Having other boys his age to play with on the playground will prove to be priceless. Having something that is just for him, that doesn't involve his big sister or baby brother, is an experience I know he is going to benefit from greatly. Being the middle child, I am excited for him to enter into a land that is all his own. I cannot wait for him to excitedly show me all of the neat things he has created and learned each day when I pick him up.

My days will be filled with my little man. Samuel will reap the rewards, just as the other two children before him have, of having complete one-on-one time with Mommy during the day. When he takes his 2/3 hour long afternoon nap, I will work. I will possibly write more creative and more informative articles than ever before with a quiet house to think in. My house will once again be neat and orderly. I will have time to bake something yummy before leaving to pick up my big kids from school, so that when we walk into the front door they will be thrilled to rush to the kitchen to see what goody awaits them.

Our loved after-school activities will resume. Madison is finding it hard to patiently wait for dance class to resume and we will be adding a children's small group through church on Sunday nights. Clayton and I are part of the lead team for this.. so we will get to spend lots of fun and meaningful time with not only our children, but also the other children of our church.

It is always hard for me to say goodbye to each summer that turns into fall, but I find solace in looking ahead to the fun that is coming.

A Mother's Guilt

My mom said something so true to me, as I cried to her over the phone, last night.

"The first thing a mom feels when she has a baby is joy. The second thing a mom feels is guilt. Over everything."

Never have truer words been spoken.

The reason for my tearful phone call can be broken down into two categories.
1. Loneliness
2. Guilt

My dear husband is such a hard worker. It's one of the reasons I love him so very much. If I never earned a penny in my entire life, I know that he would see to it that we lived comfortably anyway. The other thing I love so much about my husband is his kind and giving heart. When you need something, he is the go-to guy. The problem comes when these two wonderful traits combine and you end up with a guy that works too much, all of the time. Thankfully, this is temporary and our "normal for us" life will be continuing soon.

Having said that, last night was possibly the 7th day straight I had basically been home alone with the kids. As in I got up with them and put them to bed again that night, for days and nights on end. I can handle this scenario for a few days, but by day 5 I'm feeling the pressure.

As my husband took off his uniform from state police work, to put on work clothes to go work on a much needed and more than worthwhile project, I couldn't stop myself from breaking out into tears. (I admit it... I cried.) He drops everything to rush to my side. He asks, "what's the matter?" even though he knows the answer. I wipe my tears and try to explain that I know he has to do what he's doing, but that I'm just having a hard time at the moment watching him walk out of the door - again. Trying to avoid making him feel guilty, I put on my brave face and convince us both that I'll be fine in a minute. He leaves, I call Mom.

I tell her I'm lonely, I'm burned out, and I feel guilty about feeling lonely and burned out. I feel guilty that I want my husband home when I know what good he's doing. I feel guilty that I'm so burned out being with the kids that I don't even want to play with them much less do supper, baths, and bedtime. Apparently I had misplaced my SUPERMOM cape. As I talked and listened to my mom's wisdom on the issue (she had gone through similar things when we were little,) I started to realize that she was right. As a mother, I can feel guilty about nearly everything. No matter how much I do, I always wonder if it is enough, if it is good enough, if it's right. Do men have these thoughts? My husband seems perfectly content to spend an hour a day playing with the kids and has no guilt for plopping down to watch TV and shooing them away when he needs to rest. I'm not saying he should have guilt, but it just dawned on me that I seem to be the only one that worries about quality time with the children on a constant basis, when I'm the one home with them all of the time. What gives?

Where does the Mommy Guilt originate? Is it a comparison done in each mom's head of what she's doing vs. what she believes others are doing? Is it a genetic quality passed on to ensure that children are optimally cared for? Is it a new trend that only mother's in the past 40 or so years experience due to our society's constant lean towards more child-centered living? I'm not sure. From stay-at-home mothers to working mothers, we all seem to have guilty feelings on at least a weekly basis on a variety of issues.

Is there a way to combat a mother's guilt? I try to take a step back and look at my kids. They're healthy, happy, and well-cared for. Why do I feel guilty over the small things? So, I didn't want to play swords with Carter this afternoon; but I did take them all for a long walk this evening and read numerous books to each of them before bed. I did feed them and bathe them. I did tell them each I loved them, with total sincerity.

Am I the only mom that has guilt over these things? Am I the only mom that grows weary from child-care from time to time?

Need Urgent Prayers

A couple that we are friends with just delivered their baby today at only 27 weeks gestation due to the mother becoming eclamptic. Mother had to be put under general anesthesia for emergency csection where it was discovered the placenta was already 75% abrupted. Due to blood loss, baby had a rough start, but is now reported as stable. Anyone that knows anything about babies and pregnancy realizes how incredibly early 27 weeks is to deliver a baby. Thankfully, the doctors had diagnosed her as preeclampic a while ago and administered steroid shots for the baby's lung development "just in case." From what I understand the mother is still out from the surgery and is unaware of what all has happened. PLEASE pray for this family. The baby, mother, and father. I cannot imagine what a hard road they have for the next two months. Doctors saying to expect it to be October before baby can come home, since that was his due date. Again, please, stop reading and pray RIGHT NOW. I will update on them when I hear more news.

WalMart - We have a problem here

In a small town like this, there is little option outside of Wally World to get most of what you need. Our once fairly understocked and cramped for space Walmart has recently undergone dramatic changes. I love the new design and layout, though I am having to walk twice the distance to find things and possibly circle the store a few times just to give up and leave. In good time, I know it will become familiar to me, so I'm willing to avoid complaining about it.

One thing I must complain a bit about though is the new check-out system. Now, many of you in other cities probably already have this check-out system in place. I have dealt with it in other towns, but now it effects me on a once a week, at least, basis.

After shopping with all of the kids for roughly an hour, for our once a week grocery trips, I now wait in line like normal and unload all of my groceries onto the conveyor belt like normal. The difference now is that instead of the employee sacking and placing my groceries into my shopping basket, I now get to grab them off of the turntable and put them into my basket myself. Once the basket filling job is over, I then have to make my way back to the cashier to make payment. So, let me get this straight. I am spending more money than EVER at Walmart thanks to skyrocketing food prices, and yet getting LESS service than ever in return? What's the deal? What happened to customer service? When you have the screen on the credit/debit card machine that reads, "Was your cashier friendly today?" or "Did your cashier greet you today?" then you know there is a serious problem in our service industry in today's times. I'm totally aware that Walmart employees are GROSSLY underpaid. I am also aware that their job is probably very tiring and greeting EVERY customer each day is exhausting. Hey, guess what... that's part of the job. I have a few cashiers that I choose to wait in line for simply because I know they will be friendly. Do they always have good days? I'm sure they do not. Do they always WANT to greet me? I'd guess no. But, they do it anyway. And it is greatly appreciated.

How often in life do we feel that way? Someone is just TOO hard to talk to. We just don't feel like dealing with them. Being civil or God forbid friendly is just too much for us.. I mean.. that's just how we are. How can anyone expect us to change how we are? I find it laughable when people excuse rudeness with claims of a personality trait. Being rude, or polite, is a constant choice. It has nothing to do with how we feel, what we think, or even if we like someone.

Jeff preached a sermon recently and he mentioned that if we really really realized what a precious gift Jesus dying on the cross FOR US is, then we couldn't possibly have bad attitudes. We would be so incredibly thankful just to be here, that a gruff attitude would simply be impossible. I know that when I'm having some self pity over something and not feeling that grateful for what I do have, it has the ability to change my entire attitude. For example, when we struggled with some infertility issues when trying to conceive Samuel, there would sometimes be days that would pass that I couldn't even muster a smile. I was so down, so defeated. Even with the abundant blessings I currently had, I did not have the spiritual maturity (a.k.a relationship with Christ), to be filled with joy no matter if I was pregnant or not.

I wonder if that is what's lacking in society today. From customer service to the people in our lives, is our society as a whole lacking real spiritual maturity? Could it be that more distant relationships with Christ, and not working mothers, public schools, rap artists, drugs, alcohol, and a poor economy are causing rudeness and general disrespect for others and others' property? What can we, as Christians, do to help this huge problem? I think the best thing we can do is lead by example. Put a smile on your face even if times are tough. Don't be 'fake,' but don't choose to be sullen, either. Ask someone how they are in sincerity, not as a habit. Let things go... let things go as Christ does. Let things go for others in the same way you want Jesus to let things go on your behalf. No one is always happy, no one always feels like being polite and caring. It is our 'job' as Christ-loving people to rise above our emotions.

Jeff, and other Journey Go-ers... on behalf of mothers like myself and others in need of a hand, perhaps a great service for us to provide to be more community minded would simply be to spend a few hours helping people place groceries into their shopping carts. Simple acts like that can mean so much to so many. Non-Journey Go-ers... consider doing this on your own... simply lending a helping hand, even when someone doesn't appear to need it.

The Last Five

So, I've been comfortably sitting on the last 5 or so pounds I want to lose. It's amazing how, when you have a larger amount of weight to lose, 5 pounds is barely noticeable. Once you get close to your goal weight though, 5 pounds can make a world of difference.

I've slacked off on my exercise a bit in the past month or so due to my increased time spent writing. Now, it's time to incorporate my workout routines back into my daily life along with writing. One thing at a time. I've picked jogging up again, taking the kids and the pups jogging a bit after supper each evening. Carter likes to run beside me for a while before retiring into the double stroller with Samuel, and Madison loves to beat me in races on her bike.

The evening family jog is so important to me. I'm really thankful that I can take the kids, and the dogs, right outside our front door each evening to get some fresh air and exercise. I pray that exercise is always just part of my children's lives and that they see it as fun, not an evil thing that they feel guilty for not doing later on.

My step-mom and I used to do fun exercise tapes together when I would get home from school, from the time I was in Junior High until the time I got married and left home. It was a great time to not only get fit and healthy, but to have our best girl talks. Do you ever notice how people tend to open up a little more, especially kids, if there is something for them to do besides stare at your face? I know my kids and I have great talks each evening as we sweat together.

Eating is a hard thing for me to get under control. I'm super proud that I've managed to keep off every single pound that I've lost up until this point. That is one huge benefit to losing weight in a slow and healthy way. I've heard it said, "Slow to lose is slow to gain." I know that many of us have definitely experienced the opposite of that statement. Losing weight quickly typically means being overly restrictive with food. That type of weight loss method sends your body into "starvation" mode.. then when you finally cave and start eating again, you gain a ton of weight back. Probably more than you lost in the first place. Oh.. the vicious cycle!

So, I'm going to continue to confront myself on my eating habits. God gave me this body, and it is the only body he will ever allow me to have. Not taking care of it could possibly send the signal to the Big Man Upstairs that I'm just not that thankful for the body he's given me. That definitely isn't the message I want transmitting from my actions to his heart! So, fruits and veggies in the house, cookies and ice cream out. I can always have those fun foods when people come over or when we go out for something special.. but not daily. I have no self control and therefore cannot even have it in the house most of the time. That is something I'm working on!

Business, Businesses, Online Businesses

This picture has NOTHING to do with my post... I just realized I never posted a picture of Samuel eating his first birthday cupcake, so here's one. I love this one because he's cutting his eyes over at me, almost like he was waiting for me to come take that sinful food away from him. lol

I wish I could tell you all the number of times I've written the word "business," in all of its possible forms, over the past week. Whew! My new job is working out well. I'm getting a lot more work done each day than I thought I'd be able to and still spending good amounts of time with the kids and getting the important house work done. (I've vowed to dust the living room sometime today or tonight though.. those little things have been overlooked.) My work at home system is slowly finding its rhythm. The job is very tedious, but the good news is, I probably know more about businesses, business franchises, online businesses, work at home businesses, businesses in NZ, businesses in South America, and businesses within other businesses than any other person you know! That's all I do right now is write about business stuff. (FYI: I am not 'into' business stuff - hence the tedious nature of the job for me.) I am just so grateful that God gave me this opportunity. I never could have pulled this off on my own!

Another thing I am really excited and grateful about is our children's ministry at Journey! Holy Moly! Anyone that was in church this morning almost couldn't help but laugh at the massive amounts of children we had going back for children's lessons before the sermon began. I looked at Tammy, our preschool teacher for this Sunday, and asked if she wanted me to help her. She declined my offer.. what a brave soul! Clayton did JKids and said they did great, and Tammy also reported a great lesson as well. Hooray! Man, my kids don't know how good they have it. When I was Madison's age (going into 2nd grade) I had already been sitting out in church services for two years! Ack! Can you imagine? I must admit, I did some of my best artistic work on the backs of visitors cards in the Baptist church I grew up in... I was so glad they kept the ink pens conveniently placed beside the cards that I assumed were there for my doodling pleasure.

I just wanted to take a break from writing about opportunities for entrepreneurs looking into businesses to purchase so I came here to clear my head a bit. You can probably tell I'm writing out of my head by the randomness of this post... forgive me. I needed a small creative outlet. Now I'm refreshed and delve back into the last 34 Q&As I have to complete by Monday night.

Super Easy Way to Be Greener Today

A lot of people seem overwhelmed by all of the "going green" talk. They don't know where to start or what to do so, instead, they stick their heads in the sand and let the few environmentally conscious folks in the world try to save it, almost single handed. To stop this from happening in my little area of the world, I'm going to try to come up with ridiculously easy ways that every family can green up, if only just a little.

Super Easy Way to Green Up #1 - STOP THROWING FOOD AWAY

Of course no one supports the waste of food in general, but we Americans still waste a ton of food. From what I've read, Americans throw away 1/3 of the food we purchase. Yikes... that's a lot! Whether it's produce that's gone bad or food that the kids wouldn't eat, our trash cans see a lot of food action. Throwing food in the trash probably seems like an innocent occurrence, right? WRONG. Did you know that when food sits in trash bags in landfills, it produces methane gas? Did you also know that methane gas is actually more harmful to our O-zone than the much talked about CO2 that our cars produce? Am I getting your attention yet?

The methane gas just continues to accumulate in each food polluted garbage bag until that bag either gets torn by the usual activities at your typical dump, or the bag breaks down enough on its own to allow openings, and then all of that O-Zone breaking gas floats right up into our atmosphere. MMMmmm... breathe it in America.

So, what's the solution? It could not be any easier folks. Simply stop pouring your leftovers and other food waste into the trash can. Dump it in a compost pile or a worm farm to create top of the line soil for your next garden. If you lack a green thumb and have enough land, simply take it to the corner of your yard and return it to the earth it came from.

This is just one of the insanely easy ways any family can be a little greener. If EVERYONE simply refused to toss food into garbage bags, think of what a tremendous difference it could make in our planet's health.

Well, it's official

I can officially call myself a paid writer and a work at home mom. Wow... this is weird.

I have been applying to different writing jobs for 2 months now, and for two months I've heard nothing. Not a word. Do you know how hard it is to be patient and keep applying to jobs when you have no incentive from anyone hiring to keep trying? Well, it's hard! In the meantime I kept writing to publishers and getting things picked up here and there. I kept building my portfolio that way and finally, FINALLY, I just got my first real writing gig!

Now, let's not glamorize this. It's not my dream job and it's not what I really want do be doing. (how many of us have those jobs, hu?) It will generate a steady pay check, and a fairly good one at that.. I am so excited!! To describe what kind of writing job this is would be to say I'm in charge of coming up with questions and answers to them (like a FAQ section of a website) based upon keywords sent to me for a big company. I get to use my creative side and my research skills... so it's not terrible. But, I'm not writing the inspiring kinds of works I'd like to be. To compare it to a different job...

Let's say your dream is to be a chef at a 5 start restaurant... and instead you're flipping burgers at a fast food joint. Yeah.. pretty equivalent. You'd be grateful for the opportunity to get your foot in the door, and the paycheck twice a month... but you're not exactly living your dream. Ah well, I'll keep applying to other jobs in the meantime. Having one good writing job under my belt can only help get me another, better paying, more fulfilling job in the future.

So, my life is taking a bit of a spin! Clayton is thrilled, to say the least. I think he's really appreciating all of the hard work I've been putting into not only making extra cash for the family, but generally bettering myself. I think he sees my confidence rising each time I sell an article and put money into the checking account, and he likes it. Hey, I like it too! It's cool to feel like I'm not only good at being a mommy and a wife, but I'm good at other stuff too. Who knew?! ;)

Organizing

Okay, so I'm a little late. Most people do their major organizing in the spring (A.K.A. Spring Cleaning), but I figure it's better late than never.

With Carter and Samuel sharing a bedroom, and a closet, organizing their space just hit the top of my priority list. Shall we do a quick checklist right here?

You Know It's Time to Organize When:

*You have to shove clothes to one side of the closet to fit just one more shirt.
*You haven't seen the closet shelf in a few months.
*Toys from Christmas are still in a gift bag in the closet floor.
*You find size 3t shirts folded on the shelf, ready to be put away, and your son is now in a 5.
*Shoes that haven't fit either child in many moons block the closet door from shutting.
*The one toy bin you had in the bedroom has multiplied into three.
*The three toy bins are overflowing and toys are now piled beside them.
*Your children are so overwhelmed with toys that they choose to never play with any of them.

So, all of these things led me to the conclusion that it was time to suck it up and just do it. With garbage bags and Rubbermade bins in tow, I gritted my teeth and began to sort through the piles of... well, piles of stuff. From shoes to clothes to toys and books, I made piles of keeps, throw-aways, give-aways, and store in the shed.

"Shoes and coats and trucks, Oh My!"
Where is the yellow brick road when you need it...

After a solid hour I had made fantastic progress. Bins that were once empty in the shed were full of Carter's outgrown clothes, now to be stored for Samuel. Samuel's outgrown clothes were sacked up for his best baby friend that hopefully will fit into them. Baby toys that haven't been touched in months were tearfully put away, for the last time. Finally, I managed to get two boys' toys into two toy bins and two boys' clothes neatly put away into a super clean and organized closet. Complete with the shelf that I knew was "under there somewhere."

The coat hanger I so lovingly painted to match my boys' room was drug out from underneath the bed and is now sitting on the kitchen table. It will sit there until my husband finally installs it in the perfect place on the bedroom wall. Then, hats and coats will be hung and out of the closet floor.

The dirty clothes basket that was forced to sit against the wall in the bedroom, due to the closet floor being covered in jackets, clothes, shoes, and other random items, is now in its proper place in the closet floor. Out of sight but never out of mind!

Doesn't it feel GREAT to totally clean and organize a room? It's so hard to get motivated to do these big jobs sometimes, but it's so worth it afterwards. Everytime I walk in there it's just so refreshing. There's more floor space to play and more closet space to enjoy. Meaning I can go shopping and buy more clothes.

Madison has requested her room be next. She's a complete neat freak like her mother... the poor dear. So, her toys that she NEVER plays with will mostly go 'somewhere' soon. Other than the few we'll keep for the younger girls that come to play when our friends come over, I see a big girl room soon to emerge free of most toys and clutter.

Clayton has the camera at work, as always, so I'm sorry that I can't show you a before and after. It's definitely a sight to see!

Moms and Sleep

Am I the only one that has realized that it is totally acceptable for mothers to be sleep deprived, but not acceptable for fathers to be? Even mothers that work outside of the home, the same as their husbands, probably are doing the brunt, if not all, of the nighttime work involved in child care. Stay at home mothers definitely do. I can speak for myself here.

Though I have a great husband that VERY much cares for my health and my sanitity, I can't help but notice how much more sleep he typically gets than I do. Granted, his job is dangerous and I certainly want him to be as rested as possible to be alert, but, often times his insane schedule leaves my head spinning and me wondering if I will ever get a real amount of sleep.

For instance, we typically go to bed at the same time. (when he gets home at or before 11pm anyway.) Samuel still wakes up at least once a night to nurse, and sometimes he's up screaming due to teething pain for 30 minutes or more. By the time I nurse him, walk him around the house to calm him if screaming follows, and get him back into his bed, it can mean I've been up for almost an hour. Then, it takes time to finally fall back to sleep. Once I do, he might wake up again... he might not. (the "he might not" is a recent occurance... he's finally sleeping through the night often and when he doesn't he's usually only up once.) So, then I crawl back into bed, fall asleep, and the next thing I know it's morning (6ish usually) and Samuel is begging for someone to please come get him and feed him his morning banana. I typically kick clayton out of the bed, forcing him to go get the curly-headed toddler, and he brings him back to our bed where Samuel insists on head-butting me, smacking me in the face, and rolling all over me. (all in good fun mind you.) Yes, this is the morning I want after being up 'x' amount of times last night... thank you.

Don't get me wrong. At least one morning a week Clayton takes charge. He gets Sam's morning banana and lets me sleep in until someone's screaming fit finally wakes me. Last week I actually didn't get out of bed until 10am! (I won't say how many times I was up that night.. it was a lot.. and even by 10am I was still super sleep starved.)

When Clayton works late (as in 1am or later) I naturally get up with the kids and let him sleep in. I do it with no grudge or resentment. I know he's tired and he needs sleep. Even if he's had more sleep from the time he's gotten home that night until the time the kids wake up than I had all night combined, I still feel it is my duty to get up with the kids to let him rest after his night. So, why don't mom's typically get this same treatment?

I can't tell you the MONTHS that went by when Samuel was first born that I lived on 3 hours of sleep a night. Not just a night, but 3 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. No naps, no breaks. Would a father ever allow himself to be treated this way? I'd say probably not... not for the long periods of time that mothers do. They usually are the ones with the valid excuse of "having to go to work"... but what about those of us "working" at home? While I do technically work from home now, I never have before. (not paid work.) But, can I get a big AMEN from my fellow mothers out there that understand that being the sole feeder, cleaner, player, and care taker for kids, especially multiple kids, during the day requires you to be rested and ready? I had so much guilt the first few months of Samuel's life from just being so tired. I was TOO TIRED. I had to force myself to play with the big kid, force myself to feed them, force myself to make sure they were all bathed each night, and sometimes even force myself to smile and listen to each of their stories. If only I could have had an additional 2 hours of sleep... what a difference that could have made! Instead of being a 'good' mom.. I could have been an exceptional mom.

As my husband sleeps in this morning, while i'm up with 3 kids running on approx. 5 hours of sleep.... I say it's time we moms took the daddy's role!

Do Pink Boxers Keep Men Out of Prison?

Do you think making men wear pink boxer shorts while in prison can help keep them from coming back? Sheriff Joe Arpaio seems to. This no-nonsense man is Sheriff in Maricopa County, Arizona. I've been sort of a fan of his since I first heard of his prison reform ideas some years back, but now that I've started doing some deeper research on him and his ways, I'm not so sure I'm still on the side-lines cheering him on.

Arpaio has cut prison costs dramatically by taking men and women out of structures that cost tons of money to keep up to code and heated and cooled and simply setting up what's known as "tent city prison" in the desert to house the inmates. With scorching summers and freezing desert winters, Ol' Joe's response to people's criticism of his inhumane housing of inmates is basically - if it's good enough for our troops; it's good enough for our criminals.

We have countless men and women overseas fighting and dying in war that only have canvas tents over their heads as a means to escape the elements. Not only do they lack air-conditioning themselves, but they are made to wear heavy and full body coverage military gear. Helmets and all. (All of this while dodging bullets and explosions.) When thinking of this, it doesn't make many worry that those labeled unworthy of being in the general public are being housed in the same way.

Sheriff Joe has taken away the privilege of weight lifting for inmates' physical activity and replaced it with chain-gangs that actually do valuable work and contribute to society. When he was accused of being unfair to men because women weren't made to do the same, he set up a female chain-gang. (And the female inmates have forever since been so grateful to the original whiners...)

Hot conditions and hard physical labor aren't all he's done to cheapen and reform prison sentences. He makes men wear pink boxer shorts and the meals there are nothing short of... well.. cheap. Bologna sandwich anyone?

His goal, says Joe, is to make prison completely unappealing for anyone that ever steps foot into one of his camps. He argues that prison can be better for some people than life on the streets where they came from. They don't have to work, they have cable TV, porn, weights, and three squares a day. What's to keep them from returning?

I agreed with his ideas. Why should prison be so easy? If inmates were made to work and go without common luxuries such as Internet and television, perhaps crime wouldn't be on the tops of their lists of things to do once they get out.

Then, my research began.

While Sheriff Arapaio is cutting prison costs dramatically, Maricopa County is more than making up for that in paying lawsuits and court fees due to the constant claims brought against them thanks to this prison system.

Top complaints of the serious nature from people held there would be lack of medical attention. Not just "I scraped my knee and he wouldn't give me a band aid," but serious concerns such as people not receiving necessary medications and being made to go without proper doctor's care for real diseases and conditions that resulted in serious injury.

If the people held in this Tent Prison were all child rapists and murders, I still could be supportive and think in my cold heart, "Good, they're getting what they deserve." However, I discovered that many people here are nonviolent offenders. Some are not even convicted of ANY crime at all and are simply there awaiting court dates. Though we as Americans are guaranteed "due process," this can take days or weeks depending upon what court system you are thrown into. Can you imagine being charged with a crime you didn't commit and being locked in a jail cell until you could be put on trial? Now, can you imagine being put through what inmates endure at Tent Prison while awaiting your trial fate?

The biggest problem I have with this now, is the fact that it doesn't seem to be working. For over 10 years this system has been in place, and Maricopa County's crime rate is actually going up! One could argue that it's because people there are more likely to report crime because they feel justice will be served. This argument becomes nil when you take into account things like murder where there is no need to have people report the crime.

I think Joe's ideas are good and I think Americans support this basic idea. We want criminals that have hurt people to serve a sentence and receive punishment. We want them to work their behinds off and sweat and be miserable. But, do we want inhumane treatment for them? Do we want them to go without medical attention? (possibly for some... but for all?) I'm still in the process of digging up information on this. It has me totally intrigued. I can't understand why the crime rate there is rising when criminals know this fate could await them. If this doesn't detour crime, what does? Could this mean what many people already believe: punishment doesn't solve problems. Rehabilitation and education does.

Just a glimpse into what's inside my head at the moment. (I am so random...) If anyone else is interested in my further findings, I'd be happy to report them in the future. I can see an article being written over this topic and the entire justice system in general. I have a great person to interview first person!

TAH-DAH!!

Finally, true to my word, here are before and after pics of our house.

Here are the kids helping coat the horrid blue with primer.

Mid-way point:

Grand finale:

As you can see in the pictures, it was super sunny when we started this project, and when we finished it was really clouding up. That night we had one heck of a thunderstorm at our house and in town. (when the damage was done to the square and parts of the city were flooded) I was so worried our paint job would be ruined.. but thankfully it was dry before the rains hit!

I have a few other outside projects I'd like done to the house, eventually. But, this was a good place to start. Next we need to paint the concrete up front to cover all of the paint we splattered on it and wash the chalk off of the brick where Samuel likes to make his mark. By the time we get all of our projects completed hopefully we'll be putting this house up for sale and moving into a bigger and newer home closer to town. I hope to be able to do that in the next one to two years. We'll see!

To add to the last post

Jeff mentioned that I should link an article he and I collaborated on together. So, go here if you want to read it:

http://ignorantprotestant.com/

Some of you were gracious enough to either contact ppl to help with my list of questions or answer them yourselves and THANK YOU. Without you and your help and the honesty I received, this article would not have been possible. I can tell you that it has been a huge eye-opener for MANY. (myself included) So, thank you again.

Sorry to Keep You Hanging

So, I lied when I said I'd post pics of the house "tomorrow." My hubby keeps running off to work with the digital camera and I keep forgetting to load the pics onto the computer when he's home. Eventually, I will share the pictures.

To change the subject totally, I must take my hat off to all moms that work at home. I never could have imagined what a challenge it was! I have been slowly entering into the world of becoming a writer. Yeah, like a real one. I'm even possibly going to look into going to school for 2-4 years for an English or Journalism major once I find my niche in writing and what I want long term for myself. (possibly major in one, minor in the other?) If any of you have majored in these areas, give me some love and tell me what classes it would entail and what kind of work is necessary. None of these life changing things would happen until Samuel goes to Pre-K. So three years from now. (unless I find a great online course that transfers college credits to a college of my choice... we shall see.)

In the meantime, I am actually being published and getting paid for articles I have written. I am stunned to be honest. I've always been a "writer" at heart. As a little girl I had to have a journal from the time I could spell out words to form a sentence. I wrote down everything. My thoughts, what happened that day, my fears, and fictional stories to boot. I was probably the only teenager in high school to love those mandatory essays we had to write. For some reason, I find it exciting to get a topic that I know little about, research it to death, and write an article, essay, or story about it that makes total sense and is enlightening to someone that is in the dark on that topic like I was before I wrote about it. (and that, my friends, is a writing no-no. That sentence was much too long and wordy. Hey, this is my blog and I say it works here.)

This brings me to how hard it can be to be a mom and work at home at the same time. I REFUSE to be "that mom" that stays home with her kids but spends her entire day at the computer, cleaning house, or doing things totally not related to her children. When I start to think that my children would get more attention and more structured playtime at a daycare than here with me, I have a problem with it. So, I'm having to learn to balance all of this. It's new, and a challenge I'm ready to accept. So far, so good.

So, I suppose my best work title right now would simply be a freelance writer. It's great for me. I can do it in my own time, whenever I want, as long as I meet my deadlines. As I get published more and more, I hope to get more regular "jobs" instead of the "Hey, I need someone to write 10 articles by Friday!" gigs. I'm getting braver now and starting to write things to submit to big name magazines, and lesser known ones as well. I might even try my hand at writing for some newspapers. I'll never know if I don't try!

Isn't it strange how scary it is to just try? I have to keep reminding myself that I definitely won't get selected for a particular job if I don't apply. I hate the feeling of rejection. The only good thing about not trying, is you have zero chances of being turned down. But, you also never progress.

I've never had feelings like I have now in my adult life. All I've ever wanted before was to have children and be a mother. While that is still #1 on my list, I'm slowly creeping up there too. What do I want for me now? I feel complete in the parenting department. The stronger my urge to succeed as a writer becomes, the more I'm sure I'm done having babies. I'm praying for God to direct me to opportunities that will glorify him, not just me. (this is a very hard thing to pray AND MEAN for me, I admit.) Amazingly, the very first article I ever had purchased by a publisher was to a christian resource magazine and it was about overcoming low self-esteem. It's a little ironic that my self-esteem when writing that, about myself as a writer, was nil. But, God guided my words and helped me succeed! I pray he continues to guide me.

How weird to be embarking on a career... I never saw this day coming. It came from NO WHERE.

The Blue is Gone!

Those of you that have had the pleasure (I hope) of coming and hanging out at our house, will know what I mean by the title of this post. My completely wonderful, hard-working, will do anything to make his wife happy, husband went all out today and finally painted over the hiddeous blue siding on our house. Our home is actually brick, but our master bedroom was an addition, and it was added in blue! Ack! I've hated it since we first saw it, but the house itself was so fabulous (to me) that I knew it would be an easy enough fix and I could live with it to get this home. So, THREE YEARS LATER, the blue is G-O-N-E!!! I have pics, but no time to get them on the puter and post them...tomorrow you can all get the first glimpse of my new diggs. I'm super excited! Clayton picked the color out himself.. and though it's not the exact color I wanted, anything is better than blue! (well, not pink or orange or green...) It looks much more like 'our' house now. Ahhhh.... life is good.

Why Keep Breastfeeding?

Since the anniversary of my baby boy's birth, I've started getting the "are you still nursing" and "when are you going to wean him" questions. Often times it's from simply curious, nursing their babies still, mommies. Other times it's from people that are obviously thinking I'm some sort of pervert, sicko, weirdo, or over-protective-one-of-those-kinds, mom. Many do not understand why anyone would continue nursing past the nutritionally necessary one year mark. I'd be happy to shed some light on the topic.

First, to answer those controversial questions:

Are you still nursing? Yes

When are you going to wean him? I have no idea. I do believe in child led weaning, though I've never been in a position to nurse past 15 months since that is when Carter weaned himself. I can easily see us making it to two years. GASP I know... I told you I was a sicko. But, only time will tell.

Now, the more important question is, why continue nursing past a year?

When you breastfeed past your infant's first birthday, you are entering the time known as "extended breastfeeding." I'm guessing that's a term only used in America... I can't imagine how old a child would have to be in other countries for it to be considered so out of the ordinary that it needs a special title like extended.

One of the big reasons to continue nursing is purely emotional. Why take away what has been your baby's complete source of nutrition and comfort since the moment he or she was born? Just because a book says to? Because people look at you weird? (maybe they just look that way all of the time... they may not be directing that weird look at you at all...) One of my favorite quotes, from I can't remember where, is "the baby hasn't read the book.." This can be applied to labor and delivery, sleeping, eating, sitting up, crawling, walking.. anything! Breastfeeding is no different. Your one year old doesn't understand that there is some wacko societal reason that he can no longer breastfeed... and even if he could understand, I assure you he would not care. So, taking my cue from my new toddler, I am choosing to also not care.

The second reason to nurse past a year is medical. Breastmilk changes its makeup EVERYTIME you breastfeed your baby. It changes in water, calorie, and fat content depending upon what your baby needs each feeding of the day. As your baby grows and ages, your body sends different signals to the milk factory to change it more. No matter how old your baby or toddler is, your breastmilk is still being produced to be the most optimal source of nutrition.

It is probably not new news that breastmilk is packed full of antibodies. (especially colostrum - babies first milk that is produced in the days before actual milk production begins in new mothers. It typically takes 3-5 days for a new mother's milk to "come in.") These antibodies do not go away just because your baby turns into a toddler. Your 16 month old that contracts a stomach virus will benefit just as much from being a nursing tot as your 4 month old would. You can even prevent your toddler from catching those nasty virus's by continuing to offer mamma's milk to them.

A nursing mother will actually reap more health benefits the longer she breastfeeds. Uterine, ovarian, and breast cancer risks can all be reduced simply by breastfeeding. The longer you do it, the more you cut your chances down. Many women can keep the "old hag" away as long as they breastfeed. No PMS? Isn't that a reason to keep nursing? Moms that breastfeed, especially to and after one year, also reap vanity rewards. All of that maternal fat you store up during pregnancy is stored for one purpose: making milk. The more milk you make, and the longer you make it, the more of an opportunity your body has to burn the stored fat to take the rolls off of your tummy and put them onto your baby's thighs. Combine this with a healthier eating plan and a bit of exercise.. and you can be one hot mamma! (it's definitely one of my diet secrets. Guess the cat's out of the bag.)

So, call me what you will... but with all of the benefits to mother and baby that extended breastfeeding has to offer... I just can't think of a single reason to stop!

Belated Birthday Post

I didn't forget, but I just got around to posting about my oldest baby turning 7 on the 17th! Oh my.. when did seven years go by, someone please tell me? How on earth have I been here for EVERYTHING and yet I feel like it all still passed me by?

This picture definitely doesn't do my beautiful girl justice, but it's the only one I have on the computer right now. This is her with her 89 year old great grandpa (clayton's grandfather) and of course that's Samuel with them.

Looking at her now just fills me up! Thinking back to when I found out she was coming, and remember the horrible things people said to me in response, just shows God's grace and love and greatness that she is the best kid I know. Who would have ever thought that two teenagers could have, and raise, such a great little girl? I often look at her when she sleeps and get a tear or two in my eyes thinking about how so many said I should abort her or put her up for adoption; like she wasn't a real person. I look at our family, the family that God put together through Madison's conception, and praise him that he has brought us where we are.

All statistics show that we should have failed. Clayton and I should be divorced, or miserably married, and Madison should be living with a grandparent and barely making it through school. Instead, she has been blessed with a mother and father that not only truly love each other, but are HAPPY together. She has been blessed with a soft heart and abundant love. She has been blessed with super smarts... the TOP reader in her class, and above average in all school subjects. She is a beautiful dancer, an up and coming artist, fantastic big sister, wonderful friend, lover of animals and nature, and a future environmentalist. I look at her and I can just see the things God is setting her up for already. The desires he's already putting into her heart to save animals, to care for people, and to worship him.... I just cannot thank God enough for all he has done for us and for my Madison. She is starting to talk about Jesus in a way much different than she ever has before. I can see her relationship with Him starting to develop.

In her short seven years she has done more for me than I could ever - ever- do for her. She made me a good wife, she made me a good mother, and she's made me a better person. I am forever thankful for that positive pregnancy test I took on October 19, 2000. From that moment until now, she has been my little miracle and my huge blessing. I love you Madison Leigh!

Green Our Vaccines

Going Green is a word we're all hearing quite a lot in present day, but one thing you may not think of greening-up is our infant and children vaccinations. Since my little guy is still receiving vaccinations, this is a hot-topic issue each time I visit the doctor's office.

I made the controversial decision to slightly delay both of my boy's vaccinations. I will only allow, at maximum, two shots at a time. They push for the standard four and I simply put my foot down. With my first child it never occurred to me that I had the final say over what happened at the doctor's office. If the doctor said, "She needs four shots today." I silently disagreed, but went along with his decision because I assumed he knew best. After doing exhausting research, reading views from both sides of the vaccination debate, I have decided that not vaxing is not an option, but neither is vaxing on the standard schedule.

I found a snippet from a website that explains fairly well why I am joining the movement to green-up our vaccinations. It is explaining the harmful chemicals found in MANY brands of vaccinations.

(http://www.vaccinationdebate.com/web5.html)
Some of these chemicals and elements include formaldehyde which is commonly used to embalm corpses and is a known carcinogen (capable of causing cancer), thiomersal, a derivative of mercury which is a toxic heavy metal, aluminium phosphate which is a toxin used in deodorants. Other toxic ingredients include phenol (carbolic acid), alum (a preservative), and acetone which is a volatile solvent used in fingernail polish remover.

In many children, the retention of vaccine poisons within the body may not cause any acute or noticeable symptoms, but it will cause a lowering of the child's vitality, which in turn, weakens and impairs it's intellectual, creative and imaginative powers, it's physical energy and strength, and all of its internal metabolic functions and immune activities. What this means is that the child will operate at a level well below its true potential.

Medical professionals and some scientists continue to convince us that there is no link between autism and vaccinations; considering they are hand in hand with the pharmaceutical companies makes me wary of believing them. How can pumping this amount of chemicals into our INFANTS at such young ages cause absolutely no harm or change to their little bodies? I'm not buying it.

(http://www.gulfwarvets.com/kids.htm)
Since the 1930s, when children often received just one vaccination, many immunizations have contained a 49.6 percent mercury preservative called thimerosal. Most children today receive 33 doses of 10 vaccines by age 5, generally receiving several vaccines per visit on their immunization schedules. Reports surfaced in 1999 that infants being vaccinated using multi-dose vials, such as hepatitis B and MMR (measles, mumps and rubella), with thimerosal can receive 62.5 micrograms of mercury per visit. This is 100 times the exposure federal Environmental Protection Guidelines consider safe for the average-sized infant, as mercury is known to cause neurotoxicity and brain damage that mirrors the symptoms of autism. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, or CDC, is encouraging the development of thimerosal-free doses and has withdrawn its recommendation that infants receive the thimerosal-containing hepatitis B vaccine at birth. However, the CDC maintains that mercury in vaccines never has caused an adverse reaction and is not pulling thimerosal-containing vaccines off the shelves.

If this isn't cause for concern, then what is?

With my fears overwhelming me, I took my little guy to our favorite place to get immunizations... our county health department. The nurses there are simply wonderful. They have more information to share on a variety of topics as compared to the nurses at our Dr's office that simply tend to shrug and say, "Umm..I really don't know."

I spoke with two nurses when I went to get one of Samuel's shots a few weeks ago. We talked about how he had four immunizations he needed and I explained to them my fears, especially taking into consideration one was the MMR. (Measles, Mumps, Rubella) We talked about what brand of vaccines they use there and what ingredients they contain. They admitted they had no idea... but they did assure me that the health department ONLY buys thimerosal free products. They offered to get the ingredient information for me the next time I came in.

Yesterday was the next time I was there, and true to their word they had pulled the ingredient lists for two of the vaccinations I was possibly getting for Samuel that day. We reviewed it together and I was delighted to see that this brand was completely preservative free. The nurse said that that wasn't surprising to her because, "these immunizations have a very short shelf life, and we have to be extremely careful with the temperatures they're kept in and how they're handled." THANK YOU HEALTH DEPARTMENT! Samuel received his two big mean shots and we will go back in a month or so for one more, and I will possibly delay his MMR until next year. More research on my part will help me decide.

So, you might be wondering, why don't all doctor's offices buy the same kind of vaccines as our health department?

The answer: money and convenience. Would you want to buy a cheaper, longer lasting product that requires less caution when handling, or a shorter lasting, more work on your part product?

Thankfully, many responsible doctor's offices are signing up to go as green as possible with vaccinations.. but you need to be sure your doctor is one of them. Simply ask for the ingredients list off of the vaccinations your infant/child needs. It is really that easy. This easy request could potentially make a difference in the overall health and life of your child.

If you are interested in a delayed vaxing schedule, Dr. Sears and Dr. Cave both offer them. (Dr. Sear's site is linked on my site.)

Two for One Special

As a special treat I have combined two great posts into one for your viewing pleasure. They will come in order of importance.









First post: IT'S SAMUEL'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!

How on earth has it been an entire year since I first got to see my little man? He has been a constant blessing from the time his presence was known by two lines on a little stick, to the day he was in my arms for the first time. I still cry if I talk about how much he means to me, I still cry at times when I nurse him to sleep, and I still cry from thinking about how much I love him and what a huge part of life I would be missing if God wouldn't have given him to me. The road to conceiving him was hard and full of tears, but knowing today that had we gotten pregnant even one month sooner we would have had a completely different baby, makes me fall on my knees and thank God for his ultimate knowledge. His ultimate timing. His will for our lives. He could see down the road at what huge blessings he was going to provide when I could not. He knew that Samuel was THE baby for us and he waited until Samuel would be produced before allowing our trying to conceive journey to end. And now I have this perfect, curly-headed, blue-eyed, silly, happy, loving, little boy. I won't lie; I am a bit heartbroken over his one year birthday being here so soon. It's simply a shame at how quickly they grow up. My bottle of Dreft is quickly running out and I'm struggling with the seemingly simple decision of buying one more bottle to savor that baby smell that I will forever miss, or letting go and throwing his clothes in the wash with the big kids'. I just don't know if I'm ready to let go just yet.



The second post is about the elusive puppies I mentioned in a past post. This is Bella and Lincoln.



Bella is the girl and the one that is golden with the black mask. Lincoln is the boy, the lighter of the two with the oh-so-cute floppy ears. I cannot tell you all how much fun and joy these two silly pups have brought to our family. They both now mostly enjoy our twice daily walks and only protest every so often. At only 9 weeks old, they are simply growing into being wonderful dogs. I'm doing all of the "Dog Whisperer" techniques and wow, they really work! They wait to eat until they're told, they seldom jump up on anyone anymore, and if they begin to chew on something that is off-limits, a simple snap of the fingers is all it takes to make them drop it and back up. Cesar would be so proud.



All I need is to order my shirt that is printed: PACKLEADER

She's so my daughter

Reading Madison's journal from school this past year has given me so much insight into how very much the same she and I are. Especially with this entry:

RAINFORESTS

Rainforests are endangered.

Here are some of the animals names, toucan, boa, monkey, crocodile.

There are not manny golden lions, tamarin, and monkeys.

It would be nice if the men would quit cutting down trees.

Thar are manny animals. Peopol need to try harder to save the rainforest.

I wish I cold save the rainforest.

Do you want to save the rainforest?

I kept the spellings the same b/c I find it pretty cute that she can spell endangered and tamarin

yet mispelled people and could.

She has such a heart for animals and the environment already... I vividly remember having those same feelings at her age. My parents were so great, most of the time, at letting me adopt random dogs and cats that would wander up to our house. We're the same here. We feed pretty much every dog in the neighborhood that is in need.

Madison and I talked about recycling the other day, as I had her help me carry cans and cardboard to our recycling 'bin.' She said she is so happy that she gets to help save paper so that animals homes don't get destroyed. Ditto.

School's Out!

At the blissful hour of 7:00am I opened my eyes to realize that it is Monday morning, and I am still in bed. I then realized that what had awoken me was Samuel's sweet babbling coming from the baby monitor. I hear Clayton's voice come over the monitor, telling him good morning and playing peek-a-boo, Samuel's favorite game to play in the crib. After being brought my sweet little guy for our favorite early morning, snuggle-up close, nursing session, I remembered that it is indeed, now 7:15, Monday morning, and I am still in bed. SCHOOL IS OUT!

To celebrate the first official day of summer, I let the kids indulge in a sinful bowl of chocolate puffs with marshmallows cereal for breakfast. I joined them and I even gave Sam a bite or two. Though the house was a disaster from having so many good friends over last night, we left our bowls on the table, put our shoes on with our PJ's, and headed out the back door. It was time to let our new puppies out to play. (I'll blog on them soon, with pictures) We leashed them up, put samuel in the stroller, and headed out for an early morning walk. The boy puppy is the more active, but the more submissive. He walks lovely on a leash already. The girl pup is much more calm, but much more bossy. She is content to be drug for at least half of her walk, before she finally submits and walks at my side. (I am the pack leader, I am the pack leader.)
Thank you Cesar Millan. A.K.A The Dog Whisperer

After our walk with the pups and many a minutes spent romping outside and removing Samuel from the water bowl, we came in to just be lazy. We built castles with blocks, read books, had a quick clean-up time, and then the kids got to go play those terribly brain deforming video games while I did some writing. It was lovely.

Lunch time came and we had pizza with a side of carrot sticks and pineapples (I'm TRYING to make pizza healthy) and after our food settled I set outside to tackle the water slide. My dear responcible husband always puts it away, all rolled up, in the storage building. I, personally, do not care if the grass dies "in that spot" and would rather keep it there all summer long to avoid hauling the oh so heavy thing around the yard each day.

Once assembled, I spent an hour sliding with the kids while Samuel played in the puddles of water that collected on the tarp around the slide. I came in to put little man down for a nap while the big kids continues to climb and slide for another hour. I sense movies and naps in the near future.

This evening we have Madison's 4th softball game. We are responcible for the drinks this go round... amazingly I remembered. The boys get to play in the dirt while our sweet girl swings, hits, and runs on the field. She makes me so proud.

Though the heat is almost unbearable at times, there is just no season I'd rather be in than summer. Fun in the sun, tank tops and flip-flops, icies and hotdogs... it just doesn't get any better than this.

Summer is here!

At the Moss house, summer has arrived! We invited our good friends, and all of their kids (plus two of their kids' friends) over to break in our new waterslide. It was SO much fun!!

Thankfully TJ was here to help Clayton put it up so I didn't have to. After watching the two of them do it the first time, it's been easy for me to up it up by myself since.

It was so fun to see how the kids feed off of each other's excitement. Each time someone else would squeel and giggle sliding down and splashing into the pool below, all of the other kids would squeel and giggle, trying to patiently wait for their turn. We had not one fight or squabble amongst the kids.. which is nothing short of amazing when pulling out a new cool toy. Everyone just stood and waited, happy to watch the others have fun until it was their turn.

Carter hated the waterslide this day. Thankfully, on a later day, we invited Tyler and Leslie over to play on it and he warmed up to it quickly. I asked him to show Tyler how to climb up and slide down and he was more than happy to show his "big boyness" to his younger friend. The next day Brandy brought the "little girls" over and he was excited, again, to show off how fearless he is.

I think this might be the best investment we've ever made - fun wise. If you want to come over for a grillin' water slidin' party.. let us know! We'll make arrangements! With school about to be out for summer, we'll have it out most of the time anyway!

Who's curls are these?

Samuel is our first child to have his daddy's curls. Clayton has curly/wavy hair.. not that you can tell with his oh-so-fashionable state police, must be one inch or shorter, hair cut. Samuel's hair gets curlier the more it grows... and we all love it!! His new nick-name is "curly head" and he actually responds to it now. His hair on top is even growing out into waves! After two totally straight haired kids, this is quite a treat!

I haven't updated on the little man of the house in a while. He is so much fun right now! He is a full blown walker, toddling EVERYWHERE, and only stopping to crawl when he's in a really big hurry and he can't make his feet move as quickly as he needs to. He is a big talker; he says: mama, dada, bye-bye, bite (for his big food), uh-uh (with a head shake to mean "I can't have that"), uh-hu (with wide eyes and a reach for "I want that."), and he's starting to try to repeat most of what we say... well, the little words anyway. He's so much like Madison was at this age.

He's learned to throw fits, which is nothing short of hilarious. If only he knew that his fits just simply cannot match what his big brother can do.. he wouldn't waste his energy! The funny things is, he ONLY throws a fit about food. He is still obsessed with food. He loves to eat! When the food it gone, or you stand up to take the empty bowl to the sink that you were just feeding him out of, he immediately throws himself backwards (and hurts himself) and starts screaming, or he puts his head down between his feet (while sitting up) and hits the ground in anger.

Oh yes.. mealtime is always an adventure around here!

He is still the happiest baby I have ever seen. He's super easy to travel with and is generally content doing "whatever." He sleeps through the night most of the time (minus last week when he got another tooth in.. poor thing.) and is still nursing several times a day. His big number one birthday is next month... how has it been an entire year since he was born? He loves the cats, he loves all of our friends, and they all love him. I cannot explain what a blessing it is to walk into church now and have several people, immediately, ask to hold the baby, or offer to fix an older child's plate, or any other task that is so much appreciated! I feel like we have gained another set of parents with Lee Ann and Taylor. You guys, if you read this, are just AWESOME. :) Taylor is Carter's best friend (if you ask Carter), Samuel is as excited over LA being around as he is when I'm around, and Madison loves how they both are fun and play and talk with her. Seeing where we are now, as compared to two years ago, with friends, is just mind blowing. Even better, seeing how much I've learned about reaching out to people is mind blowing as well. Jeff preached yesterday about how God uses EVERYONE.. not just the perfect "christians".. to do his work. Boy is he right. In the past week, a certain person I've been really called to just hang out with, has told me how different their life is since we got to know each other. I'll stop there... but it's a huge deal, and nothing I EVER could have accomplished myself. God is good, and he does give strength where and when we need it, if we just follow him. I'll be honest, this relationship started off and I did not see a big future for it. I never would have imagined where God would have taken us. I for sure never would have imagined praying with this person and sharing God's word with them. I've never thought I was good at "that stuff".... but God gave me words I did not have, and the ability to say them without being offensive. (huge for me) I'd have to start an entire new post, and I may soon, to say all that has changed in my life in the past few months. It's simply amazing... I have no other word to describe it. For the first time EVER I have peace. REAL peace. Brandy F. used to always talk to me about 'joy' and how true joy in God is not dependant upon your circumstances. "what?" lol That's what I thought about that. I had no idea what she was talking about.. until now. I've had some really rough times in the past few months.. but I'm still full of joy. It's an amazing feeling to really feel called to something greater. Greater than your life. Greater than your friends. Even greater than your family. I know this will not always be the case.. I know that "quiet rest" will come. I'm just soaking up this phase God has me in right now.. because it's just so wonderful. I don't want it to end, but I know it must. It must because if it never ended, I'd never move to the next phase.. whatever that is!

Wow.. I didn't mean to turn this Samuel post into all of this! I guess it was meant to be shared.

New Kids are Back!

If you saw the Today Show this morning, you probably watched with a mix of elation and horror as the now 40ish year old NKOTB took the stage and performed all of their old hits. They sound quite different now that they've hit pueberty... but it was still a nice trip back into time to see them doing the same cheesy dances and singing the songs from my youth.

Where is my 'Hangin' Tough' sleeping bag, anyways....

I have to admit, when I saw Donnie Wahlberg on stage... I wasn't sure how to react. I never liked him when I was young... he couldn't hold a candle to my curly headed, blue-eyed Joey... but now DW is one of my favorite actors... and here he is, kinda making a fool of himself! Ack! How can this be the same guy from Band of Brothers and Saw? Where's the tough military guy? The tortured detective? Oh... there he is... doing the shuffle dance on stage. Ai-Yi-Yi....

So, all of you New Kids fans... THEY'RE BACK! They're on TV right now.. I'm curious to hear what they're new music will sound like and what they'll sing about. Will the NKOTB write songs about childbirth and marriage? Will fans respond to this? I know I'm not the only Kew Kids fan... who's STILL a fan out there? And, is anyone else a little icked out by the comeback?

These are the important things in life... ;)