Parenting Method: Attachment Parenting

Attachment Parenting is the method of raising, disciplining, and caring for children that I have become quite passionate about. Being a mommy that believes in these methods can sometimes feel lonely for mothers, but rest assured that there are many, many moms in the world that naturally follow this same method. Even if they are unaware it has a name.

What is Attachment Parenting?

Defining attachment parenting could be a quite lengthy post. I think it can suffice to say that often times attachment parenting is mothering and fathering children in the way that anyone would if there were no books, no peer pressure, and no elders telling you how to do "this and that."

Most parents would probably agree that a few key elements go into this method of parenting. Here is a list of some common no-no's in attachment parenting:

NO:
-crying-it-out for infants
-believing in spoiling a baby
-spanking, popping, hitting, etc
-belitting children
-yelling or screaming

Some common things you will see from people that practice some form of attachment parenting might include:

YES
-breastfeeding, and often child-led-weaning
-baby wearing (slings and baby carriers to sooth a baby that needs to be held when parents are busy)
-responding to each infant cry
-redirection in toddler discipline or other gentle methods like time-out or taking away an object
-modeling the desired behavior for the child
-co-sleeping (this isn't always necessary for each baby, but rather than letting a baby cry-it-out, most AP parents rely on the family bed as a means of getting a good night's sleep.)
-taking cues from the child on when he or she is ready for certain developmental milestones (such as weaning from breast or pacifier or bottle, being ready to transition to own bed, eating solids, potty training, etc)

This is a very short and loose guide for how many parents practice attachment parenting.

I, personally, fell into attachment parenting by complete accident. I was raised in a typical southern spanking family. This was the only way I knew to discipline when I had my first child. (and probably the only method my own parents were ever taught growing up.) I quickly realized that spanking just led to frustration, anger, resentment, and hurt feelings - for both my daughter and myself. I remember her going through a pretty serious hitting phase at age 2 and smacking her back each time she'd smack me. This was advice I had been given to stop the behavior. She'd hit me, I'd hit her back. After a couple of rounds of this I realized that her anger was just growing stronger, as was mine. I thought we looked like a pair of two year olds scuffling and not a mother and a daughter in a disciplinary situation. I knew there had to be a better way.

I researched online and found a few wonderful attachment parenting message boards. What a wealth of information! I shared my struggles, my anger issues, and poured my heart out to these strangers. In return I got a ton of been there - done that advice, shoulders to cry on, and information that totally changed my parenting direction!

By the time my second child was born I was armed and ready. I WOULD succeed in breastfeeding him, I WOULD be a good mom to my three year old and my newborn, I WOULD stop hitting. I chanted these things to myself constantly.

Now that I'm a mom of three, I'm working from home (and sometimes away from home), and life has gotten a bit busier, I find myself becoming frustrated more easily with the toddler antics and other struggles that can come from having kids. Just a few days ago I found myself popping my two year old's hand after he had hit me several times during a tantrum over the cake I wouldn't let him eat. (at 8am.. what a great start to the day!)

Instead of feeling super guilty like I would in the past, I simply took a breath, picked him up, and sat him in time-out for hitting. When his time-out was over we hugged, kissed, and we both said we were sorry for hitting. I always end it with, "WE don't hit."

So, even though I've been on this attachment parenting journey for several years, I definitely still can struggle. Some days I lose my temper and yell at the big kids, I get upset over things I shouldn't, and sometimes I have days that I wonder if I did a single thing right in the parenting department. The good news is, most parents DO. No matter what most blog posts say, no matter how commited to attachment parenting someone seems to be, EVERYONE has bad days. The good news is, the more you practise self-control, the more natural it becomes to not hit, to not yell, to not berate.

My number one piece of advice to anyone looking into attachment parenting for themselves is to follow your instincts. If it makes you sick to your stomach to hear your infant cry, then for goodness sakes pick that baby up! Imagine how he must feel. There's a reason nature designed mothers to immediately respond to their baby's helpless pleas.. don't fight it. It is natural.

If cosleeping just seems natural to you - don't fight it. Research it, do it safely, and sleep peacefully.

If gentle discipline sounds like something you would like to learn more about, then do! I will likely follow this post up with my own methods of discipline for those that are interested. I know how hard it is, like I said, I still struggle!

Number two piece of advice - don't mistake attachment parenting for permissive parenting. Know when to make your toddler wait verses jumping up for their every whim, know when to say no and mean it, know when to make something a battle and when to let it go. Know that you respecting your child teaches them a lot about respecting others. They learn best from example.

FYI: though I do enjoy a good debate, this post is strictly for those in search of information on attachment parenting. If this  method is not for you, please do not feel the need to tell me or others. Thank you.

Balloon Boy's Flight Just a Hoax?

Is there a bigger, or more bizarre story, right now than the "Balloon Boy"? If you've been living in a cave over the past week, here's the quick run-down.

Richard and Mayumi Heene claimed that their six-year-old son, Falcon, had climbed into a basket attached to a giant helium balloon that they created in their yard. When the balloon was to be inflated, it was supposed to be tethered, to avoid lift-off. Instead, it went soaring into the air. The Heene family claimed that they thought the little boy was being lifted off with the balloon, and went into total parental freak-out mode. (as would I...)

After authorities, and even the National Guard, were called in to help search for this poor child, and the balloon finally slowly drifted to the ground - no Falcon was to be found. No Falcon, and no basket attached to the balloon. Now the questions got more intense, "Did he fall out?" "Did we miss the basket falling away from the balloon?" "Where is he?!"

Long story short - he was found hiding in the garage at his house.. safe and sound. He had never been in any danger. At first this was a cause for serious celebration! Now, it is being called a huge scandal. Authorities are claiming that evidence suggests that the family planned the entire ordeal as a way of gaining media attention, in hopes of helping themselves get a reality show of their own.

"It has been determined that this is a hoax. We believe we have evidence at this point to indicate that this was a publicity stunt," Alderden told reporters. FOX News

Wow... would someone REALLY do such a thing? The family claims that they are not lying, but authorities are claiming to have factual evidence to suggest otherwise. I suppose only time will tell.

What do you think? Is this a family that is just purely motivated by publicity, or have they been wrongly accused over a truly horrifying event in their lives?

Read the complete story at Fox News.

Most Sensitive Pregnancy Tests

With my expansion of readership, I've gotten several messages saying that I'm neglecting my many friends that are trying to conceive or are currently pregnant. Yes, I must admit that I have! When you're no longer in that phase yourself, it is hard to write on such topics. I asked them all to give me what they'd love for me to blog about - and I was excited to hear that a lot of the info they want is factual. Mainly - PREGNANCY TEST INFORMATION. I vividly recall reading everything I could get my hands on about pregnancy tests when trying to conceive Samuel, so, I will happily share what I have learned over my own infertility struggle with anyone that finds themself in the same boat.

Let's keep this pretty simple. You want to know: What is the most sensitive pregnancy test on the market? The answer might surprise you!

One of the most sensitive tests available in the USA comes in a simple box in a store that many children love. The $Tree. Oh yes... that cheap looking $1 pregnancy test behind the counter is said to be a highly sensitive brand. Some tests show it to measure as little as 17mIU (mIU = thousandths of International Units). When testing early and often, those $Tree tests become a baby-obsessed girl's best friend!

Amazingly, the Dollar Store's brand of pregnancy test also ranks as another of the most sensitive measuring around 20mIU. Another great deal - another great pregnancy test.

If you're okay with spending more, First Responce Early Result test claims to measure as little as 15mIU.. but may need as much as 25mIU to detect pregnancy.

Most of the well known tests turn positive with 25+ mIU. Brands such as:

Target Brand - 25mIU
Walgreens +/- - 25mIU
Fact Plus - 25mIU
Equate - 25mIU
EPT - 25mIU
Cearblue Easy - 25mIU
Answer - 25mIU

My pregnancy test of choice was always $tree. Cheap and accurate. The only downside with cheaper tests, from personal experience, is there is an increased chance for evaporation lines. (dull colored lines that appear in the positive section of a pregnancy test - typically occur well after the recommended "reading" time.)

One downfall that some of my online TTC friends have encountered with the very sensitive tests is detecting a pregnancy very early, only to have it end in a very early miscarriage. Often times a miscarriage can occur so early that a woman would have never known she was pregnant at all. This can lead to a lot of emotional stress - so choose wisely how much you really want to know when seeking out the appropriate test for your situation. Many of these sensitive tests might detect pregnancy a few days before your period is even late.

If you have your own pregnancy test advice to share, drop it in the comments section. Many women will read this and you never know who it might help. Happy testing!

Parents' Inability to Sleep Post Children

Each time I was expecting a baby, I knew to expect sleepless nights once the little screamer arrived. I learned this, especially, after the second baby...

What I didn't know to expect was my own inability to sleep through the night once my children were older. I never could have imagined lying awake in bed as my three kids slept peacefully all night long. What gives?

Over the past few months Clayton and I have been noticing that at least one of us is up EVERY night. I can't remember the last time I slept a full night through. Often times I wake up and try to avoid looking at the alarm clock in hopes of not starting the "it's 4am now, if I go back to sleep soon I can get another two hours of sleep before the alarm goes off..." "... now it's 5am... come on! Go back to sleep! Only one more hour!" cycle. Many of you probably know how fun this torturous game can be.

What I find astonishing is how when I first wake up, say at 4am, I am totally awake. I could hop out of bed and begin my day! I often think to myself how I wish it was already 6am and I felt so great! But, then what happens... I finally go back to sleep, only to be jerked awake much too soon by the alarm clock. Where is that great, "I wish it were time to wake up now," feeling then?

I've done some digging to find out how I can help myself stay asleep all night, and I'm coming up empty handed. Most suggestions are things like exercise more, lose weight, avoid caffeine in the evening, keep a bedtime routine, yadda, yadda, yadda. I'm jogging 1.5 miles a day, I'm at a healthy weight, and I stop all caffeine after 4 or 5pm. (unless friends are over... some ppl socially drink alcohol, I socially drink Coke Zero.) My bedtime routine is fairly set in stone.

Am I hopeless? Is this why my own mother has always woken up for an hour or two around 3am, unable to go back to sleep? Did I ruin her? Have my kids ruined me?!

I suppose if you keep the routine of never sleeping going for several years, through several children, your body adjusts to it. Why won't my brain realize that there is no reason for me to be wide awake at night anymore and let me sleep? Doesn't it know that one of the main reasons I don't want to have more babies is for that exact reason? I'm tired of being tired?

Have any of you found this to be true as well? At least temporarily? Does it ever end?

Arkansas State Fair

Being the law-enforcement family that we are, we committed the crime of truancy and let our children skip school Wednesday so that we could go to the State Fair. (can't help it.. when Daddy works weekends, you party when you can...)


We had such a blast!! I think the State Fair gets better every single year. We spent SIX HOURS there.. playing and eating. The time went by so quickly!

My children definitely inherited their father's addiction to adrenaline. They wanted to ride everything! The bigger, the faster, the better. Oh my... I was a nervous wreck on a few of the rides I hesitantly allowed them to partake in. Just watching them made my stomach turn! Here is a summary of our day - in pictures: and excuse the mess of pics.. blogger has changed how pics appear and I have no idea how to organize them...

Madison getting ready for Extreme Jump!
Loved the FFA children's barn! Daddy riding the roller coaster with Samuel.My insane kids riding the Himilaya! The Wiggle Worm - the baby was the best entertainment!


This is how you get E.Coli. Thankfully they had handwashing stations EVERYWHERE!

Carter doing Extreme Jump and loving it!

Carter riding the crazy race cars.. and loving it..

Another round on the Himilaya...

Carter being sweet and riding 'baby rides' with Samuel. First concert! Okay.. just a sound check.. but still..

End of the day... even with the sun blazing in through the windows (and thank God for the sun after so much rain over the past week!) the kids sacked right out.

Honestly, I don't think the day could have possibly been any better. We visisted every booth, saw every ride, and rode most of them, petted all of the animals, got food and sweet treats, and laughed so much that my muscles are sore today. Clayton and I talked almost the entire way home about what a blast it was! We can't wait to do it again next year!

72 Year Old Grandmother Tasered... and she DESERVED IT!

I had to blog about this after seeing the segment on the Today Show. If you haven't seen this video yet, click here. If my link doesn't work for some reason, just Google "72 year old grandmother tasered."

Being the wife of a State Trooper always makes me bias, I'm aware. But, this woman not only was legitimately pulled over for speeding in a construction zone, but she then berated the cop, refused to sign the ticket (immediately suggesting that her age should mean she didn't deserve to be pulled over in the first place), then disobeyed his orders after he got her out of the car. They were standing by the truck right on the white line of the highway when he finally shoved her off of the road. (the shove so many are outraged over.) Give me a break!!

I pray my husband would shove an old woman, too, in this case! Do you have any idea how many cops are killed each year from circumstances like these? Being hit by oncoming traffic is one of the most dangerous aspects of the job! (and, for those of you that still don't slow down or move over when going past ANY lighted vehicles (highway workers, ambulances, firetrucks,etc)... consider yourselves part of the problem..)

This woman then decided the stop was over and said she was getting back into her car! Oh yeah.. that's going to happen. So, the cop has three options.

Option 1 - let her go... yeah... sure...

Option 2 - Put hands on her, possibly hurt her, and manhandle her into handcuffs and into the back of his car. Oh the outrage!

Option 3 - Taser her... make her stop resisting arrest, and take her safely to jail.

Option 3 was the right choice, and the one he made.

Of course, no one wants to think of a little old grandma being tasered by the big bad stupid cop. (since this is the general reaction of the public.) But, think of the alternative! You don't reach an age that you are suddenly above the law! Old or young... if you start a fight with the police, chances are it ain't ending well for ya.

This woman then sued, and was given $40,000 OUT OF COURT. She sued for "pain and suffering." Give me a break! So, anyone that breaks the law, fights with the cops, resists arrest, and winds up tasered should automatically be given 40 grand? Wow... maybe I should try really hard to get pulled over today! I'll be sure to immediately begin my dialogue with the cop by saying, "You're pulling over a 5'3", 26 year old woman? Really? Just a little woman?!" Think he'd react well to this? Hopefully not! $40,000 - here I come!

For the record, the county gave the money to avoid court costs which would have been much more than that... suckers! Pay more! Make more of an example of this lady!

Also, this woman suffered no adverse reactions after being tasered! One of the wounds where the barbs enter did get an infection... but nothing serious. And, she brought it on herself... let's not forget that.

It seems like more and more police are judged and criticisized by those that have no clue what they do for a living. You can't sit back, not know a thing about the law, not know a thing about procedure, and not know what the possible alternatives were and judge. This man did the exact right thing. I actually think he probably kept his cool a lot better than most other officers... old woman or not. How much should a cop have to take?

This is just one example of why people fight with the police. Why shouldn't they? What's to stop them?

Debate: Obama's Plan for Longer School Days - Shorter Summers

If you've not been informed of Obama's new plan for our public school systems, take a look here for a bit of information.

Obama and Duncan say kids in the United States need more school because kids in other nations have more school.



"Young people in other countries are going to school 25, 30 percent longer than our students here," Duncan told the AP. "I want to just level the playing field."

Kids in the U.S. spend more hours in school (1,146 instructional hours per year) than do kids in the Asian countries that persistently outscore the U.S. on math and science tests — Singapore (903), Taiwan (1,050), Japan (1,005) and Hong Kong (1,013). That is despite the fact that Taiwan, Japan and Hong Kong have longer school years (190 to 201 days) than does the U.S. (180 days).

I have to vote  big fat NO to this plan, Mr. President. My children are at school from 7:50am - 3:00pm. If they cannot learn what is necessary to succeed in life in these hours, then, pardon my saying so, but the curriculum, the staff, or the general make-up of schools needs to change. Not the time spent there.

I do understand one good point made: children in disadvantaged homes fall way behind during summer. I think having an OPTIONAL summer program for these kids is a WONDERFUL idea. However, my children do not need it. I can handle their schooling needs in the summer - I don't need Big Brother stepping in on this front.

America's family unit is falling apart as it is. Should we have children spend even more time away from home? What would this mean for after school activites? If my kids were at school for even ONE more hour a day (and this plan could mean up to 3 more hours of school each day) then there is no way I'd allow them to play sports or do other extra curricular activities. Cheer and football practice would simply not be allowed. The family meal trumps all to me. Is THIS good for kids? I say no.

My children love sports. Madison loves dance. I love the family time spent together at their events. I don't feel we should be put into the position of giving them up or spending even less time together. The only thing I really dislike about sending my kids to school is the huge amount of time I am NOT with them. Those are my kids.. I take great pride in raising them, and I grew them in my body. Parting with them Monday-Friday is not something I take lightly.

I will say that if this plan ever comes into action - and our schools become on the list of those to change - I will absolutely take my kids out of school. There is nothing more important than family time. It is proven that kids that spend more time with their family earn better grades, have higher self-esteem, and generally are more successful in life. Why should this time be stripped away further? I say NO! What say you?

Swine Flu Turns Woman into Psycho Mom

This could definitely be a headline in a newspaper somewhere about me. This Swine Flu stuff is scary - and for the first time ever - I feel like "one of those" moms.

When I take the kids grocery shopping with me, everyone is required to not touch ANYTHING as I use those great sani-wipes to wipe down the ENTIRE cart. Yes... the handles, the sides, the back, the top, the bottom. Anywhere my kids could potentially touch that someone else has potentially touched. After shopping I grab the same wipes to wipe myself and my children down and after loading groceries into the van, everyone gets hand sanitizer.

I steer clear of everyone... and judge their health mercilessly.

"His eyes look red and watery.."
"Her nose is runny...."
"That kid is awfully pale. Could be genetics, but we'll go the other way just in case..."

I've always been the kind of mom that does my best to keep my kids healthy with good foods, good hygiene, and common sense. But, I've also been the type that firmly believes that killing ALL germs creates sicker people and I've accepted the fact that sometimes kids will just get sick. Dealing with the common cold a couple of times a year is one thing... but now we're talking H1N1.

I just heard on the radio this morning about someone's 5yr old dying from this virus. I keep telling myself two things:

1. People die from the "regular" flu every year, too!
2. God has us...

This is where my faith takes a beating. I really just freak out when thinking of anything happening to my children. I suppose that's normal. It's very hard to remind myself that God also loves my children and that they are HIS. When I see other people's children getting seriously ill or dying, it makes it tough!

So, I will likely remain Psycho Mom for a while. The only way I know to prevent it is simply killing as many germs as I can, even though I know that won't stop my kids from being sneezed on. The new vaccination is NOT entering my kids blood stream. The disease is scary, but this brand new, fast-tracked vaccine is more scary to me. Anyone know the long-term side effects? Oh wait, NO, YOU CAN'T! It hasn't been used long-term, yet!

So, before visiting you will possibly have to fill out some kind of contract stating that you nor anyone in your home has had fever, vomiting, nasal discharge, coughing, or sneezing in the past 4 days. (or should I make that 7 days...)

My house will likely smell similar to a hospital, and I might demand you wash your hands upon entering the door... but, you're still welcome. Well, you know, depending upon the contract as listed above.

Has anyone else surprised themselves and turned into a lunatic over this Swine Flu?

Choosing Joy

Sunday afternoons are one of the biggest joys to me. We go to church and become renewed and re energized, and get to spend time with our most loved friends. Afterwards we have lunch, either out with those folks that we can't seem to get enough of, or here at home. After that, the world stops for snuggling with Samuel to ease him into naptime. He drifts off to dreamland in my arms, I lay him on those wonderfully cool sheets, and I slip out, off to do house work in amazing peace.

One of my favorite things about Sunday is cleaning. For some reason, it is just so relaxing to clean when Sam is asleep and the big kids are quietly playing together. Today, mid-way through cleaning out Madison's closet, I hear a loud commotion in the hallway, right outside of Samuel's door. The big kids are in a tiff... and they wake up the 2 year old. The two year old that requires no less than 2 hours of sleep to not morph into a version of Satan when his eyes pop open. This tiff occurred approximately 45 minutes into the nap. Needless to say, Samuel was seriously unhappy - therefore so was Mommy. Many minutes of toddler screaming later, I finally got over being peeved with the big kids and made everyone put on shoes to head outside.

It's amazing how the fresh air and sunshine can melt away negativity! In no time we were running and playing, giggling and adventuring. It's times like those that I realize how simple it really is to just choose joy.

When things don't go my way, I can revert right back to toddlerhood myself. I can pout, kick my feet, and become incredibly stubborn. It seems to just be my nature - and possibly just human nature! What's amazing is how easy it really can be to just pick myself up and get happy again, if I'll just take that first step forward. It's that first step - the digging out of the grumpy moods and negative attitudes to TRY to get over it. Even something as simple as a ruined naptime has the potential to really agitate me for a portion of the day. How silly! It is so much more fun to just go out and find joy than sit and be miserable!

So, today I found joy. I am so blessed to have it so readily accessible. I look at these three great kids and just fill up! The sun is shining, the dogs are leaping and bounding outside, and my kids are loving playtime with their mom. Not a bad outcome to a sabotaged naptime...

Kindergarten Update

Nothing has stressed me more since having my first son than the thought of him entering Kindergarten. I have heard countless horror stories about boys and school. I have heard over and over again that boys are just destined to hate school now-a-days, that they will be in trouble constantly because school is too rigid for them, and that they begin falling behind as soon as they enter the gates of hell that apparently are the K hallway. I have held my breath each day as I pick Carter up from school, waiting to hear how the day went.

Amazingly, 3 weeks in, and he loves it! He isn't tolerating it, he LOVES it. As in Saturday morning came and he was upset that he couldn't go see Mrs. Linda and his new buddy John Michael. Seriously? Praise God!

When I ask who his friends are, his first response is typically, "everyone is my friend!" This is just so Carter. A good friend to all! He finally will give me specific names with some digging, and I love all of the kids (and their parents!) that he's palling around with.

The best part, to me, besides that he's having a ton of fun and learning a lot, is that his behavior has been awesome. Carter is my "wild child" for lack of a better term. He's a good boy, but he's a boy. A boy as in loud, fast, rough and tumble... get into trouble for these things at home fairly regularly - boy. I have been so afraid that his lively spirit would land him in time-out constantly, but no! He's not been in trouble yet - whew! I think he's just staying so busy and focused that he can't help but be good. Perfect for him! He acts as though he's been in K his whole life.. I suppose his go with the flow personality helps him in this area.

So, for all of the family and friends that have been waiting for an update on Mr. Carter and his first experience with "real" school - he's really just doing fantastic! He loves it! I couldn't be more proud :) His handwriting is amazing, he's learning to read, he's doing math, and he's still the same ball of fun when he gets home. I couldn't have asked for anything more!

Kids and Money

In today's crazy economic times, it seems like we parents are very aware of teaching our children all about money. How to earn it, how to save it, and how to spend it. I feel very torn on so many issues surrounding kids and money:

Is allowance a good idea?

When should they have to spend their own money?

Should they only be allowed to save it?

Is it totally up to them how to use it?

From the top: ALLOWANCE

Our children do not receive allowance. Not a dime a day, not a quarter a week.. nothing. I know many families love their allowance system and it works so well for them - but I cannot imagine it for us. It just seems as though children SHOULD clean their rooms and help with house chores because that's what families do; they help each other. I don't want their motivation to be $$... so far so good. Everyone is expected to chip in and help and it goes smoothly. (well, minus Samuel who is hit or miss with clean-up time)

Having said that, recently we were staying at my mom and step dad's house. Papa went outside to do some yard work and the kids and I followed because they really needed to burn off some energy. Carter chose, all by himself, to help his papa pick up sticks and such in the yard rather than play like Madison. When we went inside a couple of hours later, Papa gave Carter $3 for his hard work. Carter's eyes totally lit up! He was SO proud of his earnings! I couldn't help but be so happy for him.. he had learned that hard work equals earning money. That's a good life lesson! (I was also proud of Papa's strength to not also give Madison and Sam $3 just to make it "fair" when only Carter had helped.)

Clayton followed that weekend up by giving each kid $1 each for helping pick up trash (that someones dogs had drug up in our yard.. can't imagine whose those would have been..) and they were all just giddy!

Then comes the dilemma. Will they always expect outside work or "extra" work to be paid jobs? Will their only motivation be money driven? This is not what I want for them... yet I do like them learning how to earn money.

Then, the second question. What happens with the money they earn?

Many parents cite "learning money management skills" as the main reason to give allowances to children on a regular basis. To help teach them about the 'real' world on a kid level.

If that's the goal, it seems to me that the children should have to use their own money to buy things they NEED.. not to save it all to buy fun stuff and things they want. If we gave allowance, I would expect my kids to chip in on things like school supplies.. or small items they could purchase. This would definitely teach them how far a dollar doesn't go. If they had anything left, then they could possibly treat themselves with something. Isn't that how the real world is? Wouldn't that be a realistic way to teach money management?

What do you think? Do you think it's okay to give allowance for daily chores or do you also worry this sends the wrong message about why everyone helps clean house? What do you expect your kids to do with any money they earn?

I'm torn... help me figure this issue out!

Homeschooler at Heart Sends Kids Back to School

This summer is already over... how can this be? I feel like we should have at least a month left before school starts, yet I took my two big kids to their classes this morning. What a bitter sweet day!

Back to school means back to a normal schedule, back to quiet time to get actual work done during Samuel's nap, and back to one on one time with my sweet curly head. It also means back to waking up at the ungodly hour of 6:15am, driving a ton each day, and missing my kids as they venture to the big world of public school.

This year, I'm sure, will be one of the best ever. After meeting both teachers and hearing rave reviews about them from everyone I know, I am super confident that my kids are in awesome hands. Madison has been in school with the same children for the past 5 years (including pre-k) and she is so excited to be back with her friends. Carter saw several of his preschool friends in the school on our walk to his classroom and he could barely contain himself!

"Look! There's Jessie! There's Chelsea! There's Jordan!"

Madison can't wait for REAL art this year. She is also thrilled about the greenhouse and butterfly garden available to her. I think she is really going to spread her wings and fly this year! Carter is just excited about everything. He loves it all! Reading, writing, art, computer, recess, lunch.. he can't possibly pick a favorite thing at this point.

Each year at this time I always have a lingering thought of, "maybe I should just keep them home and homeschool." I mean, it would be a heck of a lot easier than driving all day, getting up crazy early and go-go-going, and things of that nature. Plus, I'd know who they were with, what they were hearing, and each thing that happens to them each day. Then, my husband reminds me how not cool he is with that whole idea and all of the reasons we like public school for our kids.

My favorite thing about them going to school is watching them pick and choose GOOD friends. I am amazed at my kids' abilities to steer clear of the wrong people and hang with the nice kids.. right from the start! They have shown no racial preference, which pleases me to no end, and simply seem to enjoy the company of kids that are well-mannered, nice, and typically good in class. If this will continue throughout school - who knows. I'm enjoying it for now.

Another positive is I feel like there is possibly no better place for Christian children to share their faith and live a witness than at school with their peers. I can think back to many of my friends that had such amazing faith, from childhood, and how influential they often were with me. Of course, I was a rebel and made lots of bad choices.. but without their support and love, I wonder if I'd have gone down a worse path? I really pray that my children will be those kids for someone in need.

Being the social kind of person I am, I really love that they get lots of opportunities to socialize and come "into their own" without me always around. I've snuck up on them and watched them play in the playground before and things of that nature, and it's so reassuring to see that even in "the real world" with peer pressure and outside stimuli, they still make good choices. God, please, keep this going throughout their lives! Save them from the crap I put myself through trying to please people!

So, even though I do think I have the heart of a homeschooling mother... I proudly let my kids go off to school. I can't wait to pick them up today, having them so excited to see each other, me, and Samuel. I can already imagine the crazy chatter we'll have the entire way home - each talking about their favorite things, the kids they played with, and how their teachers were. Here's hoping they'll be excited to return tomorrow!

Trials of Working from Home

When I started my venture of working from home a year ago, I imagined it would be pretty easy. I'd call clients when Samuel was asleep, I'd keep books after phone calls, and I'd go to do home training sessions when the husband was home to keep the kids. It would be perfect!

At first, it was just this way. I had very few clients to start and it made it really easy to keep everyone straight, visit everyone when they requested, and board their dogs every couple of months. No big deal!

Now, the bitter comes with the sweet! The sweet is that my business is rapidly expanding! It feels like I just woke up one morning and the phone was ringing constantly and my email was blowing up. Praise God! Dog boarding is in high demand and since I also do training, a lot of people love sending their "problem dogs" to my house when they're going out of town for a while in hopes that the dog will be better when they pick him up than when they left. (this leaves me realizing exactly why Cesar Millan always says, "I train people, not dogs..")

I'm having a blast traveling around southeast Arkansas doing in-home training sessions and getting to meet all kinds of people with all kinds of dogs. Being the social butterfly that I am, this is so perfect for me! I've gotten to train huge dogs and their owners and micro mini dogs and their owners... what job could be more fun?!

Then, there's the bitter. Working from home isn't as easy as I thought it would be. Especially with the big kids being home from school this summer. It never fails that a client calls me right in the middle of a fight between the two big kids, or a screaming fit from the toddler. Many of them I know well enough by now that I can answer and explain to them that I can definitely still listen to them while locked in the bathroom while the 2 year old screams outside of the door. Others, I just let it ring and call them back in a few minutes! (can I say how much I love email for this reason?)

Juggling everything at home can be really challenging, too. I feel like the second I put my schedule book or something of importance down on the desk, I go to grab it and it's been moved. This is my husband.. not my children. He is the king of moving things and not remembering where he put them. Lovely when someone calls and wants to know what days I'm available to come train their dogs...

I actually have had to take a break from dog walking over the past month and a half. Partly due to an injury I had from over-exerting myself, partly because you really cannot take 3 children to walk dogs for 2 hours straight.. or longer. I will revisit this part of my business in a week when school begins again.

So, I'm learning. I'm learning that I cannot do everything I'd like to do with my business and still be the mom I want to be. Something always has to give, and for me it's just going to have to be work. For now I can fit in training sessions when Clayton is home with the kids and dog boarding I can pretty much do anytime.

I'm learning how to be more organized with a business schedule. I've never really had to plan ahead my days quite as far as I'm doing right now. I need to know on Monday if we're going to plan to do anything that Saturday or the Saturday after in case someone wants weekend training or boarding. If you know my family, we are fairly spontaneous. We tend to decide to go just when the mood strikes. Now, we're having to become.. planners.

The hardest "at-home" job I have, however, is the job from church. I plan the lessons for the children to do during Sunday School each week. It takes several hours a week to put together two classes worth of work for the big kids and the preschool class.. and that's the hardest time to fit in. I like to dig into a project and stay there until it's finished. I just can't do this in this case. I'm having to learn to focus, un-focus, and then re-focus later. ACK! My poor brain is having to make connections it never dreamed possible...

I definitely would never trade working from home for working away. I love that I can drop everything to get kids from school, have an impromptu walk or bike ride, or fix snacks for the kids. I really feel like I've got the best of both worlds!

Do you have any work-at-home tips? Share them!

Wishing it Away

Having kids is hard. Having kids is a ton of work. Having little kids.... is hard. Having a 2-3 year old... even harder. They require lots of food, water, attention, love, and discipline. Some days you're totally on survival mode, just praying for bedtime to come soon. Some days you're enjoying them so much you realize it's 30 minutes past bedtime before you even begin brushing teeth. It's comparable to a roller coaster ride with all of its ups and downs.

Most days, I admit, I really like my kids. They're cute, typically well behaved, and their lots of fun! Other days, well...

When the five year old spills an entire cup of juice in the living room when he knows he's not supposed to take drinks in there..

When the eight year old disobeys you numerous times when she knows better...

When the two year old makes disasters constantly throughout the entire house of catastrophic measures... and whines and cries for what seems like hours...

It gets hard to enjoy them.

I can remember when each of them were newborns. Spending all night long fighting the urge to fall asleep while I nursed them sitting up in bed (before I mastered laying down nursing when they were a bit older) and I'd think, "this will be so much easier when you're older..."

I can remember when they got older but were still waking up at night to nurse thinking, "life will be so much easier when you're older and not waking up at night anymore..."

I remember once they got older and they hit the "terrible two age" thinking, "I CANNOT WAIT for you to be out of this phase!!"

Then, I remember reaching age 3 and really thinking, "Holy cow... please turn 4 already!"

Age 4 comes and it's a glorious age. Then age 5 sneaks right in... and I think, "No! Go back! I loved age 4!"

Age 5... the age of Kindergarten, the age of reading, the age of big-kid-ness setting in. The age of, "Oh my God, I want my baby back. Where did your chubby cheeks go? Where did your baby laugh go? Where did my sweet toddler go? Where did you go?"

Age 6 comes all too quickly. Speech is pretty down pat, people know what you're saying all of the time, and you know who you are. You have your likes and dislikes set in stone. Friends begin to become very important and you are learning how to pick and choose them carefully.

In no time you're 7. What a big kid... how are you 7? Weren't you just turning 1? I know, I know, you're too big for "that" and you're too old for "this." Are you sure you don't like Blue's Clues anymore? What do you mean you want to watch High School Musical? Where is my baby?

Age 8... the last age I can speak of for it is the age of my oldest currently. Age 8 is a wonderful age... as they all are. Age 8 is the age of awareness, at least for mine. The age of her own style, and not a cutesy "thrown together" toddler own style, but really - who she is. Preppy, jock, princess... she knows what she likes and that's what she wants. The age of REALLY thinking about what she wants to be when she grows up. The age of friends calling on the phone, coming over for "girl time" and giggling in the backseat of the van - whispering back and forth thinking I can't hear them in the front. (ha! I can!) The age of grown up teeth almost all in, rolling eyes at the "little kids," and needing your own time to yourself to think.

Weren't you just born? Wasn't I just wishing you would grow up? Didn't I just cheer because you slept all night? Didn't you just fit into my cradled arms? Where did you go? Where is my baby?

It is true. Life is so much easier when the kids grow up. Now that the youngest is 2, the middlest is 5, and the oldest is 8, we can go and do whatever we want most of the time. No one cries in the car, no one has to be fed and burped 30 minutes down the road, and everyone can walk to and from our desired play places. Now that my baby is 2 and my other babies are even older, I look at them and am astonished that it's gone. The babyness.. GONE. Did I wish it away? Did I not realize how precious those amazing short months were with them when they were so hard and demanding? Am I doing it now?

As the two year old enters super-hard-to-handle territory.. I catch myself thinking, "once you get out of this phase..." often. Then, at night, when I rock him to sleep and he lays stomach to stomach with me as I rub his back, I think, "I just love this phase." I love the toddler giggles, I love the 5 year old that's clumsy and silly, and I love the 8 year old that is learning how to be a young lady. Soon I'll wake up and they'll be all grown up. Maybe by then I'll stop asking where all of my babies went. In the meantime, I will try to stop and enjoy each phase the ages bring, because all too soon, life will be easier.

Debate: Antidepressants

I haven't had a debate in a while, but I heard a startling stat on the news this morning that gave me the perfect idea for one.

According to the Today Show, 1 out of every 10 Americans is on antidepressants. The number is steadily RISING.

Now, I am certainly not a "Tom Cruise." I definitely personally know good friends of mine that truly suffer from REAL depression and they have had their entire lives changed by the benefits of the right medication. I also know a woman that was handed antidepressants one week after birthing her first baby because she was crying randomly throughout the day. "Umm.. it's called Baby Blues Doc... most women get that and it's NORMAL!"

This makes me wonder: "Should antidepressants be allowed to be prescribed without the patient also seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist?" Should any old family doctor be able to just write out an rx for any antidepressant he or she sees fit.. with no psych eval? Is our country combating it's crazy way of living by drugging itself? What say you?

Healthy Lunch #2 - Plus Dessert!

This is a super easy, super healthy lunch and dessert combo! Many of you mentioned loving this quick and healthy meal yourselves, so I thought it was definitely one to post. PITA PIZZA!
All you need is:
*Whole Wheat Pita Bread (I could only find pocket pita bread, but some say it's best to use the non-pocketed type.)
*pizza sauce (or go super healthy and make your own!)
*grated cheese (I bought mine already grated b/c I'm lazy)
*turkey pepperoni (Hormel is my favorite brand!)
*any veggies you like! (I admit I hate veggies on pizza.. but it's so much better for you to add lots of veggies to displace the cheese if you like them.)

So, simple directions. Put sauce, cheese, and other topping on the pita bread. Bake in the oven on 350 degrees F for approximately 15 minutes, take out, cut up, VOILA! The pizza shown here is super filling (due to the whole grains and fiber and healthy protein!) and only 290 calories! (possibly less.. didn't add it all exactly)

If you're like me and dessert after a meal is your weakness, let me give you a great weight-loss and healthy secret. Keep non-fat Cool Whip in the fridge! Top your favorite fruit with it and you've got a completely guiltless dessert that is amazingly delicious! I also use this as a snack for that crazy 3:00 time of day. Everyone's hungry, school's out, but supper is soon... this snack rocks for times like that!

We chose to use peaches, strawberries, and grapes in our bowl-o-goodness. All fresh and all ripe right now! Get those peaches and strawberries NOW before they're back to being hard, green, and blah this fall. I just sliced it all up, threw it into bowls, and topped it with 2 tablespoons of non-fat cool whip. (and the no fat kind is GOOD! I just switched to that from light and it's great!) This dessert has truly almost no empty calories and is a great way to help keep your insulin levels at an appropriate level. (not great for most diabetics, though.. even natural sugar can be harmful for you guys and gals! Just go easy on it!) Who says healthy eating can't be super yummy?

My Love - Hate Relationship with Scary Movies

I have always enjoyed a good scary movie. Why? I have no idea. I spend most of the duration hidden behind a blanket, curled up beside Clayton hiding my face in his chest, or asking, "Oh my gosh..why did we rent this?!" It's like a bad accident that you don't want to look at but can't help but stare.

The latest "why did I do this to myself" movie we rented was last week, "A Haunting in Connecticut". I had watched the family talk about their experiences in that house on the "A Haunting" show that comes on TV... so I think that made the movie extra spooky.

It was a good one, but scared the living daylights out of me. It was just scary, creepy, and sinister... all of those "ack!" adjectives all rolled into one.

Once the movie is over is when the real horror begins for me. You know, when I have to wake up to find a pacifier for a 2 year old at 2am (yes.. my two year old still has a paci.. different post - different day) and on the walk back, through the dark hallway, I just KNOW that a scary dead boy is going to jump out from behind the bathroom door and grab me. I feel like I used to when I was a small child and I'd run and jump on my bed at night to avoid stepping beside "underneath the bed"... because I also knew then that a monster lived under there and would love nothing more than to grab my ankles before I could climb upon the mattress. (I actually did hide under my sister's bed once and grab her ankles and scare her like crazy... good times...)

This week I've had to force myself to sing some stupid Wiggles song or count backwards from 20 on the walk back to my bedroom to avoid letting my mind run wild. Who would've thought that, even as an adult, your imagination could get the better of you? Once mine starts wandering.. that's it. I'm awake! Every noise I hear is a sure sign of poltergeist and every pop or sigh of the house is definitely a ghost trying to make contact. You should've seen me nearly run away the other night when Ava (our dog) snuck into our room unnoticed and proceeded to shake her head a bit (as German Shepherds often do... ) and I just knew that something was in my room!

You would think that this experience, just like all the ones in days past, would prevent me from watching scary movies.. but I suppose I'm just a sucker for punishment. What is it about scary movies that keeps us crazy people coming back for more?

Healthy Lunch #2

Just like the last lunch idea, this one is super fast, easy, and HEALTHY! If you're trying to watch your weight, struggle with conditions like diabetes, or just want easy and healthy ideas for feeding your family, here ya go! This is one of our favorite hot-day lunches. Wraps!

Our favorite healthy wrap includes:

-Flatout brand WHEAT flat bread
-Organic Romaine lettuce
-Organic celery
-Organic carrots
-Bell Pepper
-2% American Cheese
-Sliced Turkey
-Ranch Dressing (not pictured)

In our house, we have two kinds of wraps made with these ingredients. Madison's favorite: The Veggie Wrap.

I simply peel a carrot's skin off and then continue to peel the rest of the carrot onto a plate. Then I thinly slice a celery stick, chop some Bell Pepper, and break off a couple of lettuce leaves.


Pile it into an open piece of flat bread and drizzle on a bit of ranch dressing. (I use fat free for mine, regular for the kids'... remember, kids NEED FAT for brain development! HEALTHY FATS!) Roll it up, slice it for easier eating, and serve with your choice of healthy sides!

Here is Madison's plate. Today our sides were sliced strawberries (it is the perfect time to buy strawberries! They are fully ripened and on sale in most stores.) and blueberry yogurt for dipping the strawberries. This is an amazing source of all kinds of vitamins, minerals, protein (from the whole grains in the flat bread and the yogurt), and calcium!

For my own wraps, I like to throw some turkey breast into a nonstick skillet. (nothing added) I simply brown it up for a minute or two, melt 1/2 a piece of sliced cheese onto it, and throw it into the flat bread. Then I pile on lettuce and bell peppers for flavor. (I also like to cook onion strings with my turkey if I have it.. yum-o!) My sides of choice were sliced strawberries and celery and carrots with a side of fat free ranch dressing.

This was A LOT of food. The kids can typically only eat one half of a wrap (so it's a cheap and very healthy meal!) and if I eat a whole one, I'm full for hours! This meal is basically free of all empty calories. Your body can use nearly every single thing you ingest with a lunch like this! You will feel full, not bloated and yucky, after eating something like this.

Hope you give it a try and let me know how your kids (and husbands!) react! Healthy eating does not have to be expensive or a ton of work. You can do it!

Kids' Favorite Healthy Lunch

When thinking of what healthy lunch options to post, I knew I had to do fast, easy, kid friendly ideas. This one is super simple, quick, and one of my kids' favorites! What kid doesn't love pasta?

To make any pasta dish healthy, simply substitute refined white pasta for whole wheat pasta. My favorite brand is Heartland. It is much softer, smoother in texture, and more like white pasta than any other wheat noodles I've tried. (and I've tried them all)

Simply boil the pasta in water - simple! (my kids love angel hair pasta best!)


While the pasta is boiling, I take organic baby carrots and slice them in half to make for even faster cooking. Though steaming is the healthiest cooking option for veggies, I admit to boiling my carrots. I've never been able to steam a carrot and make it come out right.

**I buy organic whenever possible.. especially veggies that I am not peeling. Hard to find many in this town, but the selection improves over time.

The other veggies (typically broccoli, sweet peas (or sugar snap peas), and any other vegetable I have in the freezer) I put into my Pampered Chef microwave steamer. This thing rocks! If you don't have a steamer, no problem! Put them into a microwavable glass bowl with a bit of water in the bottom (about 3 tablespoons), cover and microwave.

It all cooks in about 15 minutes. Super fast and super HEALTHY! I also cook boneless, skinless chicken breast in a skillet (just spray skillet with nonstick spray, season chicken, and cook. No oil, no butter) and add it to this dish. All of my chicken was frozen this day and I was too hungry to wait for it to thaw.

Even without the chicken, the whole wheat pasta is a great source of protein. (7g per serving.)

If you really want to get healthy, and get your kids healthy, a dish like this is a really fast and easy way to start! I simply put a bit of salt over the top of each dish of food before I pass it out. No butter, no oil, no nothin'. This is a great way to start shedding pounds, gaining energy, and gaining HEALTH.

**Got kids that hate veggies? Sprinkle them with a touch of sugar before cooking to bring out the natural sweetness. Gradually use less and less as they begin to eat them.

**Remember, it can take 10 times of introducing new foods to kids before they even taste them! Keep offering, keep trying!

Staying on the Fitness Track

The past several weeks have been pretty tough on me when it comes to eating right and exercising. For me, the two go hand in hand, and without one, I struggle to do the other.

With a big part of my business being dog walking, I was walking several miles a day with clients' dogs when I suddenly found myself injured. I have had trouble off and on with a tendon in my left ankle flaring up when over worked, and boy.. did it flare up! For about one week I could barely walk at all, and after two weeks I was finally barely limping on it. Now, four weeks later I've rested a lot and am feeling much better.

Along with physically being off the exercise band-wagon, my healthy eating went right out the window, too. As I said, I struggle to do one without the other. After a solid month of not watching my food very closely and not exercising (other than lifting light hand-weights a few days a week) I found myself up about 3 pounds. Ugh... it's so easy to put on.. so hard to take off. Not only did I gain a few pounds, but I felt so tired, sluggish, and even moody! It's amazing how exercise can lift our spirits and how eating well can boost our energy. The opposite definitely proves true, as well!

So, here I am getting back on track. My ankle is healed and I started today with a great oldie but goodie workout - The FIRM. Oh how I love thee... I feel healthier already! I'm drinking a ton of water to help my body flush out all of the junk I've poured into it and am having to hold myself back a bit. I'm so eager to be back to my regular daily activities.. but I have to go slowly to avoid hurting myself again.

I'll post a few of my favorite healthy lunch plans and snacks soon - I was asked to do that by a few people several months ago and I miserably failed at doing so. This time, I'm on it!

Is anyone else finding themselves having to get motivated to stick with a healthy lifestyle?

16 and Pregnant

Some of you have probably seen this intriguing new show on MTV, 16 and Pregnant. The name tells it all. The show is all about teen couples (or at least the girls) that find themselves young and expecting and the trials they go through in deciding, "what's next?"

Today I finally got to watch an episode I had missed last week. It featured two really stand-up teens that decided adoption was the best choice for their baby girl. Watching them struggle with their decision and decide to go through with giving their newborn to their chosen couple at the end was a huge mixture of heart-wrenching pain and joy. Pain for obvious reasons. The biological mom and dad had immense grief after their daughter was born and they physically handed her to the adoptive parents. I cried with them; I cried for them. My heart broke into a million pieces putting myself into those shoes.

Joy came, as well. Joy for the adoptive parents. They had been trying for their own children for years with no success and now they were being given the most amazing gift they could ever receive. To see them snuggle that baby girl and look at her with such amazement... truly wonderful!

Joy also for another reason. Here were these two "young kids" dealing with a huge adult decision. They were both mature enough to see that they could not offer their daughter the life they so much wanted her to have. With unstable families on both sides, they knew they had little resources to draw from if they were to keep her. Though it so obviously broke them inside to let her go - it made my heart fill up to see them do such a selfless act in order to provide for their child in the best way they knew how.

The last reason I loved this episode is because I pray it brings HOPE. Hope to a young girl that finds herself pregnant and is weighing all of her options. Hope that seeing this couple nurture this baby while she was inside of her mother and then continue nurturing her by giving her to a loving home will help another teen mom choose life and adoption. Hope that the choice of adoption will more often be spoken of and considered by those unready to raise a child.

Teen pregnancy is such a platform issue for me being a teen mother once myself. Now that my own children are getting older and "easier" I am eager to begin volunteering at our new Hope Resource Crisis Pregnancy Center. I pray that God uses me up on this issue! I would love to bring hope to those with no hope, to be an example of how you can really make it work, and how it doesn't have to ruin your life. Just the opposite! I know my story will not be every teen mom's story, or possibility, but so many could do it if given the proper support. Without the help of our family and friends, I can't imagine how much harder it would have been having a baby so young. Just having someone to stop by and say,"Hey, you guys are doing a great job!" meant everything in those days. Having someone believe in us, trust us, and see past our ages to the fact that we loved our daughter more than anything! If God puts me in a position to do that for even ONE teen mom (or dad)... I would be forever grateful.

When I Grow Up...

I love hearing the kids talk about what they want to be when they grow up. It's so fun to see their heads spinning with all of the possibilities just waiting for them! I love how their desired careers match up perfectly with their personalities.

Madison is so much like me! She loves animals and has a heart set on rescue. Her goal in life, as of this year, is to be a cat trainer. Yes... she is convinced that she and I can open our own dog and cat training "store" one day. I'll handle the dogs, she'll take over the cats. Sweet, right? She also wants to be a zoo keeper and work with the elephants. She has loved elephants since she was just a small toddler. Occasionally she'll mention that she might like to be a teacher, and a great teacher she would be!

Carter is my dreamer child. He has the wildest imagination and I love it! His career choices vary wildly from astronaut to chef. Of course, he also wants to be a State Trooper like his daddy. His go-with-the-flow personality make it tough for him to settle for any one option or even narrow it down to any one category. He definitely thinks it would be a blast to live in space, except for the "scary aliens."

Samuel is a bit too young to express his desires for the future... but I can't wait to hear what they are!

I can't help but be curious as to what parents think their kids will grow up to do. I know that my parents thought I'd be:

a) a teacher

b) a veterinarian

c) a writer

And, amazingly, I do some sort of variation of all three of these things! I am our church's children's coordinator (meaning I put together curriculum and lesson plans for 2nd grade and down, teach classes, and handle fun stuff, too!); I do dog rescue and deal a lot with animals with the dog training/boarding; and I do freelance writing! (not to mention blogging and such.. all for free for your viewing pleasure. Don't you feel lucky?!) Quite accurate, right?!

Looking at my kids today, this is what I can see for their futures:

Madison - I can really see her starting some cool cat trend. She LOVES cats like I love dogs. I can see her starting the first in town "cat boarding" facility and, who knows, maybe she'll master cat training, as well! I also see her being artsy, either with drawing or writing. She's quite gifted in this area and I hope that she can turn her true passion into something profitable as she grows.

Carter - Who knows! This boy is so silly and all over the place! His laid-back personality would make him a great people person. I can see him being just like his daddy.. though I pray, selfishly, that a career as a cop is not what his dreams are made of. This, however, would probably be right up his alley. He is the kind of kid that needs things to change up regularly. I think as an adult, he'll be the same. Routine is not what makes him thrive. His career, to make him happy, will likely need to be face-paced and different each day.

Samuel - Though he is only two, his personality is quite evident. Charming, convincing, and cool and collected. (unless Mommy says no to his candy requests.) My guess is he'll be a serious people person, as babies of the family typically are. He'll probably make one killer public relations director of a major company one day, or even make a fantastic lawyer. (for the prosecution.. mind you.) He's very aware of everything that's going on, and is typically able to show great self-control and do things above his age level. (thanks to big brother and sister.) We'll just have to wait and see how the years form this kid!

It is so fun to watch how the children change year after year, yet remain amazingly the same. Each of them have the same personality today that they had as an infant. Their ability to express it has just grown! Time will tell what the future holds for each of them.

What Are Daddy's Good For?

Learning to Hit a Ball...

Building race tracks...

Rhino Riding...

Learning How to Hold a Fish by the Mouth...

...and How to Take a Fish Apart, Piece by Piece...

Daddy's are Good for all things Mommies are not.

at least this mommy...

God Bless Daddies!

Getting Out of Debt Part 2

I posted this a little over a month ago, and boy that has been a tough month! I think I've entered the "I'm sick of this and I want to go shopping" phase of getting out of debt. Hmmph. This is hard.

This week, for example, Clayton has training in Little Rock so the kids and I decided to come up to see him. While he's in class all day, the kids and I are at my mom's... so close to Little Rock. So close to shopping, eating out, fun-fun-fun! Thankfully, Nana has a pretty fun house so we're busy here.. but I could really have a good time at Park Plaza right now...

Then, I remind myself of the land I want, the house I want, and all that jazz. Not gonna get it spending money on eating out and new clothes. (working on figuring out a method of shopping that somehow pays off debt...)

Clayton did take me out on the town last night with some good friends and we had a blast. I think it was what we both needed! It's kind of like when someone goes on an insane crash diet, eats way too little and never even has a taste of the junk food they really want, then they go nuts eating 3 times what they normally would have and gain back all of the weight they just lost. I figure as long as we just keep "tasting" spending money and avoid going nuts with it, we'll be able to keep this pace of paying off debt.

It's slow but steady. Every now and then I'll have an exceptionally good month with work and we'll be able to put more towards it, and boy that feels great! Typically, we just keep chopping away at it and hope that we'll get to our "we can look at houses now" goal sooner than later. Patience is a virtue that I tend to lack in this area. If there is anything that God can use to help us learn trust, patience, and contentment, it's paying off debt!!

Room Re-Do Part 2

My bestest friend Lee Ann came over today to help me tackle painting Madison's room! Thank God for good friends because, with Clayton away all week, I could have never done this job on my own! (without killing all of my children and losing my mind, that is.)

So, here are some pictures! The blue painters tape is still up, but the brown paint we chose, to match the pink and brown bedding that's being shipped to us, is all finished! I LOVE it and madison does too! I still need to paint Madison's closet doors white (they're primed and ready at least) and decorations are yet to be found - but this huge job is done! Scroll down a few post to remember what it looked like just a few days ago, vs. today! More pictures to come once it is totally finished.

Happily Ever After

In a few months Clayton and I will be celebrating our 9th anniversary - it's amazing how quickly the years have flown by. He has been my sweetheart since I was 14, and it's been quite an adventure!

Sometimes I think back to those fun and free dating years. When the long distance separating us meant that we anxiously awaited phone calls, emails, and letters in the mail. It broke my heart each Sunday night to kiss him goodbye, as we each drove to our separate destinations. Knowing it would be a whopping 5 days until I could see him again got more difficult as the dating years went by. By the time I was 16, I just did not feel like me unless I was with him. He had my heart.

Fast forward to today. 8.5 years of marriage, three kids, one fish, one cat, and numerous dogs later... life sure has a way of changing things!

Many years ago, I could never understand how a couple could let their children take over their lives. Live for their kids first, and their relationship second. Then, we had more children. Kids simply need a lot, especially the little kind. Me being me... no matter how difficult it was at times, I still loved (and love) almost every bit of it. From the crying infant stage all the way to the 8yr old stage I've reached today - there's yet to be an age that I haven't been completely joyful about. (could do without the 2 and 3 year old tantrums, though...) Being that I'm "one of those women" that truly thrives on the chaos of kids, it's no surprise that I'd simply have a house more full of them if I could. My hubby.. not so much.

Then you hit a crossroads. I want more "one day" and he's done. Wow.. what a tough spot to be in. Neither can help how they feel, neither wants to budge in those feelings. Who wins this battle?

I spent much time in grief over this issue.. my life's desire is to be a mom of MANY children. Since I was a young girl I dreamed of having 4, 5, 6 kids. Shockingly, that dream never went away, even once life's realities hit. (and even when I realized that having a baby does "that" to your body... ugh..) I admit I spent a bit of time feeling angry that I was being asked to give this up for the happiness of my spouse. "Aren't I entitled to my life's desires?!"

Then, I got my head and heart where it should be.. on my knees before my God. I begged, at first, "Please change Clayton!" for this is what God is sadly used to me screaming when I first begin to pray. Then, as the weeks passed, and the conversations were had, and the prayers were continued, I felt God telling me to just "let go." I stumbled upon some old pictures of us when we were dating. I remembered why it was I always wanted to spend my life with this man. Because I love him. I love him. I didn't long to have him as my life's partner because of what he could give to me (kids, money, houses, clothes, happiness...) I longed for him because.. I just did.

Knowing that my loving husband would agree to more children to keep me 'happy' pushed me more to do what was right for our marriage. What was right for him and therefore ultimately right for our family. I "let go." God has it, God has us, God has me and he knows my heart. I realized that a very selfish part of me would take him up on having more kids... but the rest of me realized that it could be life changing in a very horrible way. In a way that I might be putting a happy marriage on the line for a life's dream... and no dream is worth our marriage.

Now, the kids are growing older each day. They are becoming both harder and easier all at the same time. (I think my parents warned me that would happen..) The day in which we can leave them with the grandparents to take a week long trip to "wherever" is closer and closer. More time for us is right around the corner, and has already been started around a year ago. Our one night away trip right now will soon become two, then more. I can really get excited about "dating" my husband again! This is what he longs for. How amazing.. my husband simply wants more of me for him. I am a very lucky woman in so many ways. So very blessed, even though it took me many weeks to see it through my sadness. I am so blessed that God has given me peace and that we can continue to build our marriage more and more and provide our children with an amazing, stable, and loving home.

I hesitated to post something so very personal, but I know I am not alone in such a huge marital decision. Perhaps another woman or man will find something in this post that they can relate to. Perhaps someone needed a gentle reminder of why they married their spouse... for them. In life, we just have to decide to create our own happy endings and our own "happily ever afters..." With Christ's help.. we can find joy in our lives in any situation! He is so great and so good.. he can fill the voids that you can never fill on your own. The voids that you think your spouse, your friends, or your family, (your kids), should fill... and then you can be free to just love! What an amazing gift!