Well, the appointment lasted FOREVER. Two hours in the waiting room and another two hours spent with the doctor. Yes... you can probably guess that two hours spent with your doctor equals that all is not well.
Some of you probably aren't aware that we had quite the struggle conceiving our third child. Surgery, medication.. and lots and lots of prayers finally resulted in our totally healthy blessing, Samuel. Praise God! The reason I was infertile is because of a pesky little condition known as PCOS. Once I delivered Sam I had no problems from the cysts for almost two whole years! I had almost convinced myself that I was a freak of nature and had magically been cured.
Then, about six months ago the pain began again. Fast forward to today - the pain is almost unbearable at times. The best way to describe PCOS pain is that it feels like you have something huge in your entire lower abdominal cavity that isn't supposed to be there.. and it's pressing on everything. It often makes me feel as though I'm getting a UTI just from all of the pressure. Clothes don't fit because of the swelling, exercise becomes impossible because of pain. It really interferes with your daily life.
I spent a few minutes explaining my returning symptoms with my doctor and he ordered an ultrasound to see what he could see. I was shocked at the results. Both ovaries are already covered in cysts, and I'm not even to the mid-way point of my cycle.. which is typically when they are the most severe.
When we were trying to conceive, my ultrasounds always showed cysts on one ovary or the other.. but not on both at the same time. Lovely. I got sent home with a free sample of Seasonique (birth control pills) and orders to start taking them next month and report back if I am unable to tolerate them so we can go to the next treatment option. (which is an insulin dug - Metformin.)
Before the ultrasound I told the doctor that if we could determine that just one ovary was causing all of the trouble that I would jump at the chance to let him just go in and remove it. Unfortunately, neither of them are functioning properly so.. that's out of the question. If the birth control pills don't work, we'll be doing another lap surgery to try to see if anything else is underlying that needs to be addressed. He would have liked to go ahead and do that.. but I always want to start with the less treatment necessary first and work my way up if I have to. With the 8 viles of blood they took to test for EVERYTHING... if something else needs to be done I'm sure we'll know soon.
I'm praying hard that the Seasonique works and I don't have to do anything further. It's frustrating to have to take birth control and not need it as birth control. My body is its own natural birth control. And, may I make a quick God plug here? I just want people to realize that his plans are ALWAYS so perfect even when they seem insane. Had we not had Madison so young, and Carter also unplanned so young... we likely would have missed our chance at having children. Or, we might have only had one. I never would have expected to be battling infertility starting at age 23... and pretty much be completely unable to ovulate on my own by age 26. I love it when God's plan comes full circle and you have that "Ahh.. now I see" moment. Full of thanks and praise today! He is so good... and so great.
Next on the agenda.. this Friday I have to have a breast ultrasound due to some findings at my breast exam. Never had to do something like this, but in all honesty I feel fine about it. I'm not worried at all. I just sense that everything is fine. My only real concern is how this pap result will come back. I just 'really' don't want to go to the next step if it doesn't come back clean. But, compared to so many others and what they battle each day, it's still small beans. It's always good to keep your troubles in perspective.
I'm just very thankful that no matter what any of the tests show, that I have the comfort of knowing that God is with me. He has me and he always has. Even in the absolute worst case scenarios - he is still in control. Not me, not my body, not doctors, not lab results - HE is. If he can create heaven and earth, the ocean and land, the animals and all people, then I know he surely can handle whatever life throws my way.