Wednesday, April 08, 2009

The Truth About Motherhood?

Posted by Mandy at 7:29 AM
I have several shows that I set to record on DVR in case I have time after the kids go to bed to run through them. One that I set is Oprah. Mainly, I just want to make sure to catch Dr. Oz episodes so I'll find out one more way to not clog my arteries and make myself wrinkled at 27. Other shows can catch my attention, too. One I found, that I watched last night, was all about the truths of motherhood.

The show basically featured moms all around the nation talking about the cold hard truths of what being a mother is really about. All of the frustrating moments, the overwhelment of having a newborn, the exhaustion of simply keeping kids alive each day, the brattiness of their children. Each story that was shared was one I could certainly relate to. Who hasn't experienced times like those, right? Though I could see some of myself in each woman that spoke, I couldn't help but have a knot in my stomach watching the show. Is motherhood REALLY that bad?

After the episode was over, I found myself nearly in tears from frustration. One hour of TV completely dedicated to the torture that children put we moms through. (and, of course, they had to include a bit of husband bashing in the mix. We all know that men of today are simply lazy, stupid, unhelpful dopes and we don't need them around anyway. *drip drip - sarcasm*) Am I the only mom that really, REALLY mostly enjoys her children? They are such a gift.. such an undeserved gift. Do I always like running around crazy taking care of 'this' and 'that' or being puked on, sleep deprived, or just emotionally drained taking care of three other humans? Well, of course not! That would be insane! Do I, on a daily basis, think great things about my kids and enjoy them? Absolutely!

I think one of the greatest, and most tragic gifts life ever gave me was my Aunt Linda. She was my second mother... and was very sick for almost all of her life. She had Juvenile Diabetes from the age of about 9 years old and suffered tremendously from it until she died at the age of just 39 years old, on June 18, 2001. One day after my Madison's first birthday. Though my aunt had many hard times in life, the hardest by far was the day she gave birth to a two month premature baby girl, named Amber Leigh, and had to watch her little angel die just a few days later. She would have made an amazing mother, but never got the chance to raise her daughter. I suppose God knew that Amber would have to watch her mother be very sick, and die at a young age, and spared her. Perhaps, even having just a few days with her own baby was a gift God gave my aunt.

Growing up with a someone in your life that has experienced such true loss really molds your attitudes on certain life experiences. My main "molded" experience: experiencing children.

My aunt mothered every one's children. She was a second mom to every child she came into contact with. Once, a similar show came on to the Oprah episode I spoke of, and she and I watched it together. I could tell it was upsetting to her and she simply said, "If they had any idea what a precious and priceless gift they're children were, they would just get over it and enjoy them.." I suppose that moment has been sealed in my head. When I feel completely overwhelmed with my kids, I think of how many women would give ANYTHING for just one more moment like that with their lost children. With the children they'll never have, or the children they'll never get back while they are here on earth. It doesn't mean times are never hard... as I type this I have a wiggling 20 month old on my lap and I'm running a fairly high fever. (those two certainly equal a good time, right? ugh...) Will I be so happy when his nap time comes so I can get a break? Oh yeah! Am I going to blame my hard day on him? No. He's a sweet, innocent, little man... even with his screaming fits and tantrums... that my pounding head is not in the mood for.

The point of this post is not to say that moms should NEVER be free to complain openly about how hard motherhood really is. It IS hard! It's the hardest job anyone could ever do! The point of this post is just to ask all moms out there to take a moment and look around. Is it really 'that' bad? Isn't it worth celebrating that God allowed us to not only be pregnant, give birth, and have our babies.. but he allowed us to KEEP them? He chooses EACH day who shall stay on this earth and who shall go to be with him, and each day he chooses to keep my babies here with me, I am so thankful. I am humbled. I am so undeserving of these trials of motherhood that God has so graciously given to me.

Maybe as we spend our typical moments venting to our good friends, that understand what we're going through, how hard our day with the kids was today... we couple that with at least one precious moment that we also shared with them. There are so many and they are worthy of praise!


Nora's Mommy on Wednesday, 08 April, 2009 said...

That was a great post! I watched the same program and felt the same way.

Ann on Wednesday, 08 April, 2009 said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I agree wholeheartedly! We complain about our kids, our moms gripe about being "stuck" at home, etc. But, we don't bother to share the absolutely glorious moments - especially the ones that come in the middle of what seem to be awful days. Thank you so much for articulating this! It's a great reminder!

Quiskaeya on Monday, 13 April, 2009 said...

Well said Mandy!!! I've seen too many Mamas really just harp on how awful Mamahood is and it's makes me cringe. I'll be the first to admit when I have a rough day I need the opportunity to get out those feelings. I can't bottle up emotions or else I'll explode. I love my children more than I can measure. Even in the toughest moments in Mamahood I'll look at their innocent faces and something in their eyes always gets me. It's that look of just wanting to be loved, just wanting to know I'm there for them even when they aren't perfect. I can't stand knowing that they might feel for a moment that I've turned my back on them.

And too, I think about how disappointing I've been to my Heavenly Father at times and how He never turns away from me. He never complains or gripes about what a disobedient child I've been at times. If He can love me unconditionally - with all my imperfections - who am I not to do the same for my own children.

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