Monday, September 24, 2007

The Pick Up Artist

Posted by Mandy at 8:09 AM
Has anyone, besides me, seen this new show on VH1? I watched it the first time planning to just sit, laugh, and make fun of how silly it was. Well, it was kind of silly, but I got hooked! The basic idea of the show is they took some guys that were really really horrible at picking up women and put them in a house together where they got "lessons" from this completely odd looking guy that calls himself 'Mystery' about how to be the ultimate pick up artist. Now, "Mystery" doesn't look like a guy (to me) that would pick up ANYONE... so it was amazing to hear him talk and his 'lessons' and watch them work! Clayton asked me at one point, "would that work on you?" and was shocked when I said, "yeah, probably!" (well, not now that I'm married of course!) This whole show got me thinking though... are we women REALLY that difficult to figure out? I mean, come on! If you act like a human and have basic manners and at least some confidence... it shouldn't be 'that' difficult to find someone. These guys were just horrible! They put them in clubs so there were plenty of women to torture.. I mean... talk to... and it was just amazing how truly bad they were at talking to the opposite sex! There's the guy that doesn't take the "I'm not into you" cues so he appears stalker-ish b/c he won't stop following the women, there's the guy that totally lacks confidence and spends the entire conversation trying to ask questions to see if the girl is into him at all from the first 5 seconds on, there's the guy that swears he's straight but seriously acts gay (no lady wants to date a gay man... FYI); you get the idea. I guess being a woman I just found it laughable that some men just don't get it... AT ALL!
Here's some pointers!
* Don't be weird! Don't say weird things... don't talk about super heroes, video games, electronics, race cars, or anything else 'weird' or too guy-ish. We don't care about those things... we will pretend to care IF we decide we like you and you can feel free to talk A LITTLE about these things later on... but not when we first meet you.
*On the flip side don't try to talk about too much girly stuff either... if I find out you get your nails done and you go to the tanning bed... I'll find you prissy and possibly think you're gay... and I already touched on the not acting gay part so I'll stop there.
*Shut up! If all you do is talk and never listen... you'll seem either really nervous or really full of yourself... neither is a turn on.
* Be confident. There's nothing that makes women run away from a man faster than a man that slumps his shoulders, looks down at the ground, won't make eye contact, and seems at the bottom of his social status pole. If you act like you're important... we'll probably think you are. Like it or not, status is a big deal. Not money status necessarily, but how you are in a group. If others flock to you, we'll figure they're all right about you and flock to you as well.
* Get over your own physical appearance. Sure, it can immediately attract a woman, but in the first few minutes of conversation, what comes out of your mouth and how you carry yourself goes a lot farther than muscles. I, personally, always go for a witty and funny guy... if he can make me laugh he can keep my company. (so clayton better stay funny....)
* I don't want to hear about your mother or sister on a first date. Unless I ask.. don't bring them up. Immediate competition and you might seem like a serious mamma's boy.. which some women may like... but I can only speak for myself.. I hate that! (a 'sissy' mamma's boy I mean... as in mom still irons my clothes and bakes me cookies when I go cry to her about bad day... twice a week..)
* Don't bad mouth other women. Nothing is a redder red flag to me than how a man talks about his past girlfriends, or in general, women in his life. (moms and sisters included in this category too... love them, but don't be obsessed with them)
*Think before you open your mouth... seriously.. this can go a long way
*If I seem annoyed, or am making excuses to leave or stop talking to you, PAHLEEZE take the hint. Don't follow women around like a puppy... it's creepy and it makes us have to be rude to you to make you stop. Sucky all around.
*play hard to get! Yes... if you start a conversation, get us interested, and then have to jet off before we can decide we don't like you.. we'll probably chase you. It's true... I don't care what ANYONE says.. playing hard to get WORKS if there's an initial attraction.

So, there ya go. Other ladies can weigh in on what would work for them.. but this is my general list of guidelines. Please, pass this, and any other lists that follow in the comments, to your single friends that you know need some help. It could change their life... or at least help the women around them be less annoyed...


Mommatude on Monday, 24 September, 2007 said...

Sounds pretty good to me,Mandy!!

I have been following the show as well and the weirdest things to me are their names...J Dog,Matador and Mystery...although that is actually the least weird to me of the bunch.His big goggles are also very weird to me,but getting info from two other chicks-they like them.I happened to catch him on the Chelsea Handler show one night-and he didnt seem as confident on there.

But I expected to sit down and watch with the same responses as you had but I kinda like it too.

Anonymous said...

I dunno about those... I was able to get Caro to fall for me with this line:

"Hey, want to go to my parents' house and play Space Invaders while my mom washes my clothes, or do you think that's weird or insecure?"

She just loved that... ;)

On another note, we missed you guys this weekend! I know your small group will get to hang with ya, but if we don't see you before Sunday, tell Clayton I said HI!

silly me on Wednesday, 26 September, 2007 said...

that's hilarious! i haven't seen it (no tv other than local), but i think that's one of the reasons i'm addicted to Beauty and the Geek.

your list is awesome!

Shelley Smith on Wednesday, 26 September, 2007 said...

I love this list.

And by the way, I saw Clayton (working, met him on the road) the other day, and I waved. He didn't see me, but Karsyn did, and commented, Momma why ya tryin to be nice to that 'pleece man,' are you drivin' too fast?

Mandy on Thursday, 27 September, 2007 said...

lol shelley!! All of Madison's friends always stare at Clayton like he's either a movie stare or the boogie man when he has to come to her school events in uniform... he says his pet peeve is when parents point at him and say "you better be good, see that police man?" ugh... police are the GOOD GUYS!

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