Wednesday, January 17, 2007

"I want to be JUST like you!"

Posted by Mandy at 10:52 AM

Yes, this is my little BOY. The little boy who loves and adores and admires his big sister and all that she does. You can see that by this picture. She often wears those pink gloves and the pink hat to school when it's really cold out, and so he loves getting them from her as soon as she gets into the van and putting them on. He then says, "Look Madison! Look at my hat! I'm pretty too!" He wants nothing more than to be like her and impress her. She just giggles, tells me, "Mom! Look at Carter!" and then quickly loses interest in his cuteness. I can remember growing up and feeling the same way Carter feels about Madison about my sister. She is 6 years older than I am, and often times she played the part of my mother after my parents divorced. I thought she made the earth spin. Sometimes she would play with me and light up my day, but often times I was a pest to her and she would rather be on the phone, going out with friends, or having friends over and NOT wanting me around. How heartbreaking it can be for the younger siblings when the older ones grow up and "leave" you behind. It's almost like you're forced to find a new idol. Other than God, I've had several people I've looked up to in life. Some of them were people I wish I'd have known better than to want to immulate... but you live and you learn! Thinking about myself now, I really cannot think of anyone that I totally look up to, that i think I can learn great deals about life from. Maybe it's because I've finally grown sure of myself and my own abilities. I don't need others to tell me that I'm a good mother, a good wife, or a good person in general. I think it about myself, and I know my husband and kids think it of me, so what more do I need? It's so freeing to FINALLY not care what "someone" thinks of every decision I make in life. I'm sure the fact that I have a few very close friends now make all of the difference. Friends that, though we don't always agree, they always support me and if they feel I need to be knocked down a peg or two, they know how to do it without stirring me all up. Now i look at my daughter and I wonder if she looks at me the way that I always looked at my sister. If she has those "I want to be JUST like you" feelings. Scary thought that our children often do grow up to make the same mistakes and choices in life that we did. The saying "Do as I say and not as I do" just doesn't work does it? It makes me parent differently than I EVER imagined I would, it makes me treat other people much better than I might have in the past (not that i ever think I've been a mean person.. I just think a lot more about what my kids see me do now), and even the things I EAT have changed. IF my children want to want to grow up to be just like me, I pray that God helps me be a good role model for them. That is a huge responcibility! I have to say that Madison did tell me the other day, and it nearly made me cry, (pg hormones at play I'm sure) "Mommy, when I grow up and I'm a mommy, I want to be a mommy like you are and read and play and do playdough with my babies..." Maybe it wasn't, but I felt it was a great compliment. :)

6 comments:

K.T. on Wednesday, 17 January, 2007 said...

I always worry that my kids will repeat my patterns....those teenage ones I pray every day that they dont repeat.

I still look up to people-although I still make my own decisions,not based on their opinions.But I look up to people who are further along on their walk with GOD.I am still a "baby christian",and I learn alot from those that keep their faith in everything they do and in every decision they make.I hope to still learn something every day of my life.

It is great that Carter looks up to his big sister,Kodak moments they are because those times fade too fast.......

Lou Arnold on Wednesday, 17 January, 2007 said...

So I had a really great comment, but it disappeared. Go figure. Another moment to cry over.

Anyways I love the picture. Carter will of course hate in years to come.

Brittany on Wednesday, 17 January, 2007 said...

There's an old song by Phillips, Craig, and Dean that I thought about when I read you post. It's called "I want to be just like You, cause he wants to be just like me". Shaun sang that at Cayson's baby dedication. Talk about a tear-jerker. And it's so true. We do want to be more like Christ because undoubtedly Cayson will want to be like us (or at least his daddy, anyway.) If you haven't heard that song, look it up-it's awesome!

Mandy on Thursday, 18 January, 2007 said...

oh Brittney I would've LOST it if that song would've been sung by ANYONE at our children's baptisms... much less by Clayton! wow.. you must've bawled your eyes out! lol

Lou, you're online!!! :)

Lee Ann James on Friday, 19 January, 2007 said...

OKay...I'm feelin the need for another game night! (Maybe not bridge...don't tell Taylor I said that!) Let's plan it for next week! Maybe we can have a baby shower pow wow while we're at it!

Mandy on Saturday, 20 January, 2007 said...

SWEET! I'm for it! Tuesday is good for us... that's Clayton's off day (other than wednesday)

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