Take me out to the ballgame

So, who all ventured out to see any of the Babe Ruth games? We caught our first one this afternoon.. it was so much fun! It was insanely hot, but the kids were fantastic and wow, those guys are great baseball players! Clayton played baseball from Tball up until he was about 14ish.. and he's itching to play now that he's watched that game! He even got to go to Ohio to play the Babe Ruth series there one year! Cool hu? (even cooler, Ohio was one of the teams we saw play!) I got a nice sunburn on top of everything. Nothing horrible.. but it looks ridiculous. Why didn't I think ahead and wear a tank top? Nope... silly me.. I wore a capsleeved shirt, can you picture how silly I'll look the next time I DO put on a tank top? Maybe it'll fade quickly!

Madison is officially signed up for dance! Thursday nights, that's where we'll be. Okay, it's only a 30 min. class but we're all really excited! Tuesday or Wednesday night we'll be going to stay with my mom and she's offered to take us school clothes shopping and then to buy madison's dance clothes and shoes! man.. I love my mom! :) I cannot wait to pick out tutu's and leotards and tap shoes.. oh this is what mommies of little girls dream about!! We're pretty sure we'll do soccer too. After talking to some veteran soccer moms, I feel confident it will be lots of fun. Carter is easier to keep up with now too... that will make things much easier.

Can anyone else not believe that school starts in just NINE days?! It'll be even sooner than that for those reading this late! lol Wow, I've got to go buy the rest of her school supplies! (plan on doing that tomorrow!) If anyone finds any large lunch boxes and aren't hideous.. PLEASE let me know! She has two cute ones.. but they hardly hold anything! It's so frustrating!

Anyone want a dog?

Look at this cute face... don't you want him?! Grr........... that's me growling, not the dog, and I'm growling about the dog. Okay, we really do love him.. but he's about to be chained up until adulthood if his chewing doesn't stop soon. I don't know if I posted about the $300 in van repairs he costs us LAST WEEK when he chewed an O2 sensor out from under the van. We have only had the van back for one day.. and last night, on my way home from TayLee's (thanks for the good time guys!!) the transmission light came on. I started panicking.. but the van drove home just fine with no problems. Everything seemed in top working order.. no big deal. I mentioned it to clayton though. This morning he vanishes for a while, and then comes in while I'm on the phone with Leslie (Tyler has pink eye! poor little guy!) looking really PO'd and dirty and sweaty, carrying a weird little thing in his hand. You guessed it.. the O2 Sensor.. that the dog has chewed out.. AGAIN!!! AHHHHH!!! Clayton called my Dad (who does a lot of car work) and asked what we could do b/c we just cannot afford $600 in two weeks of van repairs! So he talked for a while and tried to install it back in again. We've yet to drive it though to see if it is working... oh man.. that dog better grow up to be the best dog in the entire world.. or he's getting bread and water to eat from now on! ;) Seriously though... this is why parents always flip out when kids want a new dog.. I never thought about how destructive one puppy could be! People that say kids are expensive never had a German Shephard puppy!

Carter and I had our first REAL fight of the wills this morning. He's become increasingly more mischevious since turning two, and lately a lot more disobedient. (to be expected at this age...) but this morning it seemed he was doing everything he could to make madison cry, and to make me want to strangle him. So, the last straw was when he got into the 'no no' cabinent under the sink that I keep the dishwashing liquid and such in. He got a bottle of diswashing liquid out and threw it down, looking me right in the eye the entire time. So I knelt down to him and said, "Carter, that's not for you, put this back please." and handed him the bottle. He took it from me and threw it again... and gave a little grunt that translates into "not gonna do it" for those that have never had 2 year olds. So, I sat him down in the kitchen floor... and basically wouldn't let him get up until he put the bottle back. I think it's time to start putting my foot down with him. I remember doing this same stuff with Madison. He is so much more compliant than she was though. After maybe 2 minutes of having to stay in the kitchen, he picked up the bottle, put it back, and ran to me all excited and proud of himself. He got tons of hugs and kisses and life went on. We'll see what the next battle of the wills will be. If he was only aware of the fact that there's not much he can pull that his sister hasn't already, and I now have an entire brain full of methods to deal with his craziness.

IT'S NOT STREP!!

Praise the Lord, the doctor said Madison does not have strep. So, if any of your kids get sick with fever, weird body rash, sore throat, possibly puking, etc... it's probably the same highly contagious virus we (and everyone else) have been passing around. Thankfully we've all been well for the past 24 hours.. so we can leave the house together again!

I don't have much time to post right now, but I did want to ask for a serious prayer chain to go for me. I've been in a pretty severe amount of pain this month (and the past few) over these cysts. If I didn't get pg this month, I'll be calling my doctor to see what he can do for me. I'm afraid this will put our trying to get pg on hold and that's a thought I don't even want to think. So PLEASE pray for me.. for my doctor, and for my health! Thank you!

won't be at playgroup

How disappointing, but I will not be at playgroup tomorrow. Suzanne won't be there either.. we are pretty sure our kids have strep throat.. AGAIN! ARRGHH! Mine 'seem' totally fine right now, but that's how strep did us last time. Hit a little bit at first with fever and that weird rash, then totally 'went away' for a few days, only to return full blown later and knock everyone down! So, tomorrow I'm taking Madison to get the swab done and if hers is + then we'll all be taking antibiotics for the next 10 days. I just hope that maybe it's a weird virus that just looks like strep.. and it's gone.. and we won't need meds! One can dream right? So, have fun everyone that does go to playgroup tomorrow! I'm so sad we can't go, but I'd feel horrible if we gave strep to anyone else. Who knows who all we've already given it to! I had planned to go see Betsy, Chris, and the baby but now I see we'll be holding off on that for a while.. God forbid the baby get ANYTHING that we might have.. strep or not!

I made a discovery today. There is a room of our house that makes me not like my children. Yep.. I said it. The living room. Why.. why you ask? I guess because when I'm in the living room, I'm trying to sit and relax, read, or watch a show.. and they're being loud or 'in my way' and making it hard for me to do any of those things. During the day we typically leave the tv off and play.. so in the evenings when I do try to watch a little something, I get so upset when they won't just leave me alone for an hour. I also realized that I enjoy them MOST when we're all playing in one of their rooms. We all sat in Carter's room for an entire hour today doing puzzles and reading and such... it was a great time! Bring those same activities into the living room and I'm hating it. I just want to chill and NOT play. Am I crazy or does anyone else have a 'room' like this in their house? I guess it's all in the expectation. If I'm sitting down with the tv on I EXPECT to get to watch it. If we go into their rooms, I EXPECT to play.

I MISS MY VAN! It should be fixed already.. no one called us today though to come and get it so I guess we'll call tomorrow morning and pick it up on our way to the doctor. It's funny.. I LOVE my car... I like driving it so much more than I like driving the van; but I miss our 'routine' in the van. We have all of our music and such in there.. and we're just used to riding in it. I feel a bit lost being back in the car now! It's good to get to spend some time with my car again though.

Oh, anyone that's interested, Clayton is off tuesdays and wednesdays this month. :)

copy cat

Here's my personality thing... I can't help but pick up on how much I never like my results on these things. I know they're pretty accurate of me.. but I always feel like it makes me sound MEAN! Ah well.. what can ya do, right?

isn't he a cuttie?

I just love this picture of Carter. We took it the other day when we were outside playing in the sprinkler. I know.. he's mine.. of course I think he's cute.. but yep.. he's my handsome little man!

I think the night shift woes are slowly sinking in. It's going to be a bit worse than usual the next several weeks with Clayton training one of the new troopers. He can't come home and have lunch and such like he normally does. These late weekends are just hard on me. I'm sure they're hard on him too. He didn't get home until 5am this morning from working last night. I expect the same tonight. I can't remember when his next day off is.. Tuesday maybe? I'm ready for it!

For those that are interested, I'm in that dreaded two week wait now... I probably won't be talking about it much because I'm feeling fairly defeated lately, so if I'm quiet on the subject, for once, that's why.


On a bright note, tomorrow is Sunday and I'm still loving church! I have faith that I'll get a sermon that I need to hear tomorrow.. and come out of the building closer to God than I was when I walked in. I so often feel so lonely in these long months of constant night shift work.. I know that if I am closer to God, I'll feel more at peace, or totally at peace with being here "alone."

Oh no... what happened?!

How did this happen?! How did Clayton sucker me like this? How did he make me... gulp.. LIKE CHESS?! Who just said that? Okay, so the second time around learning to play chess has been a lot better than the first. I did beat him today, but only b/c he helped me! lol Otherwise I'd have lost, again! I think my determination to beat him has taken over.. I HAVE to beat him! So, I think this time, he'll be sick of playing before I am. I'm getting a little better... I just plain stink at the thinking ahead a few moves part.. meanwhile his "detective" brain is all over that. So true for us as a couple.. I think in the right now, he's always thinking a few moves ahead! Guess at least one of us is always thinking then! :)

We had a great morning today. Clayton called one of the new troopers and his wife (that live here in town) and asked if they wanted to meet us at the park to play. (they have a 1yr old little boy named Joseph) They said sure, but Joseph was with his grandparents... so just the two of them met up with us. It was so much fun! They are a great couple and I really want to hang out with them more. He's just out of troop school and super eager to work. Clayton is still happy and excited about work so I'm sure the two of them will hit it off great! The woman is a stay at home mom too, and I invited her to join our playgroup Tuesday morning. I really hope she comes! She seemed excited about it! So, we all might have a new friend soon!

Clayton is napping right now getting ready for his long weekend. He's off to work at 5pm tonight and I don't expect him back home until 4 or 5am tomorrow. Pray for his safety and my ability to sleep!

Guess where we're going on the 26th! THE CIRCUS! Yippie! The Ringling Brothers are going to be at Altel then and we took madison when she was 3 and are so excited to go back! It's such a great show! They say "It's the Greatest Show on Earth!" ;)

My Growing Girl

Do you ever have one of those days that you look at one or all of your kids and think, "Oh my... how did they get this big?" Today is that day for me in regards to Madison. After a GREAT time at playgroup this morning the kids and I went to WalMart. I bought Madison a big girl booster seat. (finally) I got her the Graco "Safe Seat" and it's "really cool" as Madison says! It's hard for me to think that she's done, forever, with a five point harness seat. Now it's all big girl stuff. She loves her new seat and can't wait to ride in it. (and I actually put the thing together all by myself! So proud!) While we were at WM I bought about half of the school supplies she needs. It was so strange walking those aisles picking up crayons, markers, glue, and scissors... but it hit me the hardest when we got to the folders. She picked out one with a butterfly on it and one with rainbows and unicorns on it. (do these selections surprise anyone? lol) I can so clearly remember the excitement of picking out the notebooks and folders I wanted for school.. and it's a little hard to think that my baby girl is now a big girl going to school! I did find her Year Book from PreK and got to see a picture of her teacher. (Mrs. Koone) She looks so familiar to me, but I'm pretty sure I've never met her. I think it's neat that she was the art teacher last year seeing as how Art is Madison's favotire thing! I hope that she'll get to do a lot of artistic work in class. Okay, so what if this entire post is about Madison. I'm feeling emotional about my child growing up on me!

On a slightly different note, playgroup this morning was such a great time. I'm loving the group of women we have coming! It felt so relaxed... just an easy going good time. If it weren't so darn hot, it would've been perfect! I have Parent Group tonight.. so double the excitement!

Clayton is training one of the new troopers starting tonight! This guy is stationed in Lake Village, so Clayton will be working down there with him a lot I bet. We got three new troopers down here in Troop F, so watch out you speeders! ;)

Chess anyone?

I finally added a picture! It took my slow dial-up connection approx. 20 minutes.. but I got it on here. Now I think "why did I pick this picture?" I don't know.. but here we are! This was a little over a month ago when we took the kids to Mid America Museum. It was so much fun!

Madison is on a board game kick, so we've played Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders a zillion times this week. She saw the Chess board and asked if I would teach her to play... I laughed a little and said, "No, but maybe Daddy will teach you!" Clayton taught me to play chess a long time ago. I think it was when I was pregnant with Madison. I hated the game from moment 1! It's too involved, takes forever, and I could never beat him. (I beat him ONCE) Maybe I'm a sore loser, but it just wasn't my game! Now, he's on the Chess kick too. "Let's play Chess today! Come on, please?!" *sigh* So it seems that when he's off of work again, I'll be learning Chess all over again. Maybe the second time around I'll like it better. For Clayton's sake I sure hope so! Any of your husbands know how to play Chess? Clayton would love it if someone that is GOOD would sit and play with him!

I had a thought the other night after everyone left. We were having a great time playing our games.. and I got to thinking that we should let the kids play their own board games while we play ours. Start their own game night too! We'd need to take some time to make sure the big kids know the rules of whatever game... and then leave them to it and maybe they'd have fun and we could play our games easier without interruptions. I don't know.. they might just fight the entire time! lol

Tomorrow my two favorite events happen! Playgroup in the morning.. and Parent Group tomorrow night. :) I can't wait!! We're still doing playgroup at Western Pines right? At the insane hour of 8:30am? ;)

Friday night rocked!

Okay, big thanks to everyone who came out to eat and hang out with us Friday night. Clayton and I talked all day today about how much fun we had, and how we hoped everyone else enjoyed it too. We seldom get to have company like that with his insane work schedule, so thanks for helping us have such a good night! For the next several months I'm pretty sure his days off will only be weekdays.. but if anyone is up for a quick supper and hang out session on a Tuesday night, we're your peeps!

Today was SO hot. So what did we decide to do? Meet the Parkers at the park for fun and sun and sweat! Ahh... the things that sound like a good idea until you do them! No, really, it was a great time. Suzanne didn't puke from the heat and my kids got worn out. Unfortunantely, Carter didn't take a nap today, and was sound asleep by 6pm.. so I'm sure he'll be up all night, or at minimum up for the day around 5am or before. NOOOOO!! At least we have church tomorrow.. I can finally say that we all love church now! Both of the kids are loving it, and Clayton and I are too. It's such a releif to enjoy it. :) I'm excited to see what message we'll get in the morning.

I'm officially on "baby watch." Betsy is going to have that baby girl any day now.. or any week now at most. I can't wait to get a phone call! I told her as they left last night that if they wanted to call me and start the chain reaction of phone calls, I'm all for it! We'll probably 'have' to drive to Crossett to see them after Bailey is born.. I'm so excited! Oh, Suzanne, Betsy is seeing a midwife that delivers at the hospital in Crossett if you're interested! I forgot to tell you that!

Okay, I promised Madison a game of Candy Land, so I'm off to get beaten by my 5 year old at a game that is all about luck.. the kind of games I don't like! ;)

ohh... my aching muscles

The short yoga session I had with Madison yesterday must have worked me much harder than I realized. I woke up this morning with aching muscles all over my body! So, of course, I made sure to catch the workout on tv again this morning! Madison did it with me, for the most part. She was a bit distracting because she'd get into a pose and then ask, "Look Mommy, is this right?" So while I got a great workout again, I spent a lot of my time reassuring madison she was doing a fine job. I'm sure by tomorrow morning I won't even be able to walk. Ah, the things we do for beauty!

So, Clayton had a blast yesterday driving the car of his dreams. Supposedly he should have his in a week or two. He's so excited! He was telling me about all of the great features and how it drove and such, and I smiled and nodded and said, "wow that sounds great!" Meanwhile I, for the most part, haven't a clue what most of the stuff he's telling me means.. but I know it makes him happy for me to be interested! So, you guys out there, make sure to ask him about his cool car so he can talk to someone that REALLY knows what he means about it!

Have any of you heard the new Nickleback song "Far Away"? OH MY GOSH! It is gorgeous! I know.. LeeAnn is "not that into them" as she told me the other night (shame on you!) but I just love this song! I think I'm going to have to break down and just buy the entire cd. So far I've loved all of those songs.

Clayton is gone to buy food for the house... I told him specifically, "Buy MEAL food, not SNACK food!" So we'll see what he comes home with. I wish I'd have gotten in the shower before him this morning... to him, if he's ready first, he's going! lol So wish us luck on having food to actually nourish our bodies this week!

"Breathe in... breathe out.."

This is what Madison and I did together this afternoon. I decided to pick up Yoga again. I haven't done it since I was pregnant with Carter. (yes, I worked out my entire pg, and LOVED yoga!) I saw that we are getting to preview a channel called "Lime" on Dish and Yoga Zone was on.. so I clicked on it and caught it from the very beginning! Madison giggled and did it with me.. it was so cute! I forgot how incredibly hard that stuff is! No wonder I looked so good back in those days! Sheesh! So, we'll see how long my new Yoga kick lasts. It's a heck of a lot more fun to do it with Madison. It's even MORE fun to get Clayton to do it with me. He used to make fun of me when I'd do it so I'd make him do it with me. However, it's incredibly hard to hold a pose when you're laughing at your husband!

I feel like Suzanne today because I'm loving the cloudy day. I've had more sun than even I can handle lately so this is a nice change. It just seems quieter when it's dark outside like this. Carter even went down for a nap earlier! It's magic!

Clayton is out making every man he knows jealous. He just got his new Impala state car last year, but because he's such a good worker, he's now getting one of the first Arkansas State Trooper Dodge Chargers! He had to go to Petit Jean today to do a driving course with the car... meaning he'll be going 100mph or more, pitting out other cars, and just having a grand ole time! Nothing I'd ever want to do but he was so excited about it! I'm so happy for him that he's got a job he loves so much. :)(even though I'm often less than happy about the job that he loves so much!) One cool thing is, because he had to go do this today (which was supposed to be his off day) he's off TOMORROW! Woo hoo! Off on a Friday while working the night shift! That never happens! So, here's to THAT!

My favorite night of the week!

It's Wednesday... so that means it's Small Group night! I LOVE our small group. I've grown so much as a christian since going to it, and now that it's switched to a women's group, I'm growing even more. It's also really nice that I've made new friendship! I think we'll all get and stay really close, at least that's my hope.

The baby shower was fantastic! The best I think I've ever been to, including my own! A ton of people showed up and Betsy got everything she could possibly need/want that I could tell. She was so obviously overwhelmed by everyone's generosity. It's not often that you can touch someone like that. I know that she felt so loved and cared for by all of us, and she should, because she IS! I wonder is she's thought about how loved that baby is going to be. Just look at how many people our group's children have to love them! It's a rare thing to find an entire group of friends that love children, and can accept different parenting sytles. I love that I have so many good christian people around me to help raise my children. I pray all of our children will grow up to be good kids/teens and support each other in doing what's right, rather than following the crowd. Lord knows I followed the crowd way too much in school. I just don't want my children to have the same regrets that i have. Then again, I turned out okay, and i learned from the many mistakes that I made. You live and learn I guess!

I had a neighbor (that I just met recently) from down the road bring her 2yr old daughter over to play today! They're so much fun to hang out with.. and they've invited us to come swimming at their house Friday. :) THey also have horses, goats, etc and she said they have OLD horses that they use to train new/young riders that we can come ride anytime we want... how sweet are they?! Madison will love riding a horse. She got to ride a pony a few months ago and she had such a good time.

Oh, to make all of you other mommies jealous, guess what time we all got out of bed this morning... anyone? 9:40am!! Can you believe that?!!! Wow! I was shocked when I looked at the clock! We haven't slept past 8am in years! I could so get used to this.. just in time for school to start up again!

Speaking of school, the teacher list is supposed to be posted THIS WEEK so if anyone sees it up, let me know! I'd hate to drive out there and it not be there.. but i'm getting ansy waiting. Time to go school clothes/supplies shopping!

Playgroup today

We had such a great playgroup today! K.T. came and so did someone that Suzanne met from a friend... I am so bad but I cannot remember her name! (Mari?) Leslie and Brian came too and everyone seemed to have a great time. (and for once no wasp stings! BONUS!) K.T. it was so great to finally meet you! I hope you keep coming to play and hang out on Tuesdays! Madison has talked NONSTOP about how much fun she had with Kyla! She usually doesn't have a girl her age there to hang out with, so I know it was so good for her. :)

I am SOOOO excited for Betsy's baby shower tonight! I went by WalMart and got a gift bag and packed all of the cutesy stuff up.. I just can't wait! Oh, by the way, why doesn't Wally World carry cute baby gift bags?! grr.. I don't think I saw ONE cute baby girl gift bag!! I love WalMart but ours is so bad about not having a good selection so much of the time!

So, Carter is officially a nudist! That boy! He still has no desire to actually use the potty, though he does sit on it a lot more now, but he rips his clothes off constantly! Ask Michael... last night (I picked Ashton up from daycare and kept him until Michael could come get him after work) while they were here Carter had taken off the ONESIE I had put on him (in hopes of keeping the diaper on) and ripped off his diaper. I put the diaper on backwards, he still got it off. I even tried putting some of Madison's panties on him hoping that maybe he'd like it if I bought him underwear.. he cried and took them off too. Oh well.. maybe he'll potty train soon! One can hope!!

BABY STUFF!! **squeel!!**

Ah yes... any man that was walking by me in Kohl's today was rolling his eyes as I squeeled with delight at all of the pink baby girl clothes, blankies, shoes, bibs, and toys. I was shopping for Betsy's baby shower (tuesday) and oh wow.. it was so much fun! I had a ton of stuff carrying it around because I just could not pick! My mom had to help me! lol I won't disclose what exactly I got her because someone could sneak her the info before her big day.. and I'm not one to ruin a surprise! I'm off to Wally World tomorrow to pick up the rest of the stuff I'm getting her... and I cannot wait to see what everyone else got for her! I must give God some praise right now. I'll fully admit that last week, before I knew that I wasn't pregnant, I told Suzanne, "I'm not sure how I'll shop for baby clothes and make it to this baby shower if I'm not pg.. I think it will break me." But then I quickly said, "No.. I REFUSE to be 'that' woman!" (as LeeAnn said, "I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN!") After beginning REALLY reading my Bible and just trying really hard to have a better outlook on life, I had the best time today and I cannot wait until the baby shower! It's going to be so great! I feel full of joy today. Life is good, God is good. The fact that it's only 95 degrees today, instead of the 111 it was last week is good. I got to talk to Suzanne on the phone for like an hour today and that was good. She mentioned LeeAnn is coming over tomorrow around 4pm and I should bring my baby gifts then too... I was so excited, and that's good. I should really get Clayton to tear apart the console in the van to find Madison's lost Bible School Song cd b/c I could sing over and over again the song that once grated on my every last nerve: "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart. Where?..." Yeah, you know it probably! Ah, it feels good to be HAPPY! I was so down all last week and lemme tell ya, that just plain stinks. So, my promise is to be a heck of a lot more fun to hang out with now! :) No moaning and complaining, and the only crying I plan on doing is crying from the great emotions I can't keep in!

quick update

I know a lot of people have been waiting to hear the news for sure, the hag found me this morning.. so we're officially on to month 9. Thanks for all of your prayers and kind words. I feel okay about it. God showed me the verses last night for a reason, I suppose he knew I'd need them!

Smacked upside the head by The Word

So, have you ever sat down and decided to read your Bible, nothing out of the ordinary, but then you find verse after verse that make you look around and ask, "Are you watching me?" I had that experience tonight. God knew I needed it. I started out just searching around, not sure what I wanted to read. I looked up all kinds of words in the back to see if something would grab my attention.. and then I found it. "God's timing" Ugh.. I did not want to read that. To be honest I'm SICK TO DEATH of hearing about God's timing as if knowing that his timing is perfect should really make me feel better in a moment of intense greif. I guess it was in God's timing that these verses were brought before me, when I was ready and WILLING to read them and listen to the word of the Lord. So, I found several verses that I wrote down. (yes, I wrote them down! all of them that 'spoke' to me got written on index cards and I plan to read them daily! I'm memorizing my favorite one as "homework" for small group like I promised I would!) Here are a few that REALLY gave me chills. Sorry, i am aware that to most of you they will be like reading the back of a cereal box... which is exactly how I'd have felt a month ago reading the same ones. But, for God's glory I'll post them anyway!

Psalm 75:2 You say, "I choose the appointed time; it is I who judge uprightly."

John 11:6 Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days. I read that and thought, hu? What's with that? Go rescue him Jesus!! Then the rest of the story unfolded...

John 11:14-15 So then he told them plainly, "Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him."
So there was my "ah-ha" moment. If he'd have just made a sick man well, that would've been nice, but to bring a dead man back to life.. that is a miracle! The last verse that I wrote on this story is the one that gave me chills... truly.. chills. It was as if God held me as I read it.

John 11:40 Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"

This is the verse I'm going to memorize for small group. It just hit me really really hard. I know my faith is rocky right now, that I have a hard time believing God is really with me when things don't go the way I think they should. I just need to believe... it's hard.. but I'm on my way!

The good and the bad

The Good: I got to meet Brittany and Shaun today! What a great time! Her pg belly is so cute and I am anxiously awaiting the next baby update since I know they were getting an ultrasound today. :)

The Bad: I broke down and took a pg test today. I had a temp rise and other things that I let get the better of me. It was of course negative. Ugh.... so I guess in the next few days we'll be moving onto month #9.

Was group for me?

Wow, our small group was great for me last night. Our focus was joy and what things in life keep us away from joy, and what things bring us joy. I was lacking joy for the most part yesterday. It isn't a constant feeling of crappiness, but it's off and on when I think of how low my temps are and just waiting for the hag to appear. Suzanne asked what our "chronic" joy stealer is lately... mine started as 'greif'.. each month I'd be so depressed that I wasn't pg that I'd be overwhelmed with sadness. I still have some of that, but I realized last night that now it's more the 'wearniess' that's getting to me. I know I've said to at least Leslie and Suzanne that I am just so tired. Emotionally I am exhausted. I feel a thousand times better than I felt a month ago, due to me reading my Bible and praying regularly again, but still, I feel just tired of wanting this. I just want it to happen so I don't have to think about it anymore. I told Clayton that he'll probably get his wish and this will be our last child because I just cannot imagine ever putting myself through this again. I know the end result will be worth it, but in THIS moment, TODAY, I am just drained. I always feel a lot better once we start a new month. I start each month with a lot of optomism and just KNOW that THIS month will be it. It's the end of the month that is hard... waiting and waiting to find out, then being so disappointed over and over again. But I did realize that last night, I am so blessed that that is the only joy stealer I could really come up with. My life is so wonderful. That feeling was validated when we got the most horrible phone call I can remember ever getting. Our friends (that used to be our neighbors here) have a son that has Spina Bifida. (sp?) He is prone to seizures and they are frequently rushing to the ER due to that. The doctors told them when Remington was born that if he made it to age 5 it would be a miracle. He had his 7th bday this year. Two days ago the father called to tell Clayton that Remington had had a seizure and had stopped breathing for 18 minutes. 18 minutes... 18 minutes that two parents watched their lifeless child turn blue, 18 minutes that they saw their whole world fall apart, 18 minutes that they knew nothing would ever be the same. He was rushed to Children's Hospital by medflight.. they stabalized him... and last night when we were all hanging out after small group the father called Clayton, barely able to speak to say, "Remington didn't make it, we're on our way home, and would you please be a paul bearer at the funeral." I was wondering why clayton was in such a hurry to go home last night, and when we got into the van he told me that and we just prayed for them and cried the entire way home. My sadness is not over Remington's death for I feel he was released from a life of pain. My sadness is for his parents, for as a parent I know that my worst fear is losing one of my children. How would you ever go on? How would you ever sleep again? And what I hurt the most for them over was, How will they walk into their home and see his things there, and know he'll never be there again. Oh Lord please be with them. Please be with all of us. I've never been to a child's funeral before... neither has Clayton. A child's death is tragic and I'm sure all that are there will be in disbelief that this has even happened. I also realized last night that my longing for a child is nothing compared to theirs.

So discouraged

I mentioned yesterday that my temp had gone down a lot... well it went down even more this morning. That probably means I am not pregnant. I have basically lost hope for this cycle and won't be testing. Please pray for me. I feel very lonely and depressed this morning.

Playgroup Explosion

So this morning the kids and I head to the park for our usual Tuesday playgroup. I expect to drive up and find Suzanne, Leslie, maybe Kristy, and maybe Lou. Well, I pull into the parking lot and look around at ALL of the vehicles and think, "surely all of these ppl are not here for OUR playgroup.." THEY WERE! Wow we had a ton of kids and moms, and a dad. :) It was great fun to get a new 'group' to talk with! Once the wasps attacked poor Noah (get well soon Noah!) we all packed up and left. Suzanne let us come hang at her house and that was a nice resting place. We had a great time and Madison did NOT want to leave when I told her it was time to go. She's always ready to go home! She's a home-body like her daddy. I hope we have that kind of turnout next week!

Tonight is my beloved Parents' Group at church. I've been going for over a year now and love it. We haven't been able to meet in about a month so this will be a great time! The kids go to the nursery and I get to eat a meal and sit and talk with other moms and dads about WHATEVER issue comes up. It seems we've started goofing off more than anything. :)

Well I was disappointed when I woke up this morning. I explained a bit about charting in a past post, and today my temp went down quite a bit. :P (high temps tend to mean you're pg, when they drop, it usually signals the hag is on the way) I am praying it was just a fluke and tomorrow it will rise again. I'm not sure if God is aware of how much I need this to happen this month... even though I keep telling him...EVERYDAY! lol I've had a few people ask me lately when I'll go to the doctor... I have no idea. If I go I'm basically telling him to do something medical to help me get pg and I'm just not ready for that at this point. I'm still trying to put all of my faith in God and trust his timing. It is getting harder and harder to hang in there though! (especially if I keep hurting like I did this cycle!!) I need wisdom!!

My son has started really fighting me on naptime. I started trying to put him down at 1pm.. he didn't stay in bed and go to sleep until after 2pm!!! This makes me so frustrated!! He is so tired by 1:00... he won't go to sleep at all before that, and he fights me a lot even then. Clayton said we should just put a baby gate up in his doorway so he'll be forced to stay in his room.. I just don't know how I feel about it. I know Madison started sporadically skipping naps around this age, but if he skips a nap he's passed out in some random place in the house by 5pm.. so he obviously still needs it. I guess I'll just keep fighting with him for a few more months!! Then maybe he can skip a day or two of naps at a time... fine by me!

Oh LeeeeAnnnnn!!!!

So.. LeeAnn hasn't blogged in a few days, so I'm asking, after you read this blog, go do some blogging of your own! :)

Many thanks to Suzanne for letting me and my children come sit around this afternoon. My bad mood from last night carried over. I have been SO on edge.. I pray it's pg hormones making me go insane. :) The kids played and we just sat!! I feel refreshed and ready to take on the battles of home again after a few moments of girl talk!

So, I've finally gotten into exercising again. I remember before I had Carter I LOVED to exercise. Now that I've gotten out of it it's so hard to make myself do it. I always feel great once I do... so I decided to just do it! Feel like it or not. So far so good! At this point I don't expect to lose any weight, nor do I even care, but I just do not like feeling out of shape. I'm TRYING to take care of my temple... we'll see how I do.

Does anyone else have a husband that moves your stuff around?! If there is anything I can gripe about.. that is it! I have a calendar that I keep next to the puter and at least a few times a week I have to go searching piles of papers that Clayton has made (his way of organizing... ) to try to find it. It makes me crazy! How many times can I say, "PLEASE do not move my calendar!!!"? I just realized how lucky I am that that is my BIGGEST gripe about my man! :)

I'm really excited that it'll be Wednesday night again soon! I can't wait for small group! I even get to go to Parent Group at my church tomorrow night which I also love! Hooray for a great start to the week!

One of those nights

Whew! I am so happy my kids are in bed! I don't know what my deal was.. but AS SOON as we started brushing teeth, reading books, etc I got so stressed. In my defense the kids were being unusually insane. Madison would NOT stop talking... anyone with a 4/5 year old (possibly older?) can probably understand what nonstop talking... over many many hours, can do to your nerves! They got into bed and quiet right before I wanted to start screaming at them... I hate that feeling! I always feel so out of control at the end of the month... I have to remind myself that it is not the kids fault that I'm going through this and I have to be careful not to take my stress out on them. Clayton working nonstop hasn't helped.. I told him that he CANNOT work any overtime tonight.. NONE. :) He agreed... so I'm sure some R&R with my hubby will help calm me down. It usually does!

Had another fantastic Sunday! Still loving the preacher and our church has grown EACH Sunday over the past 3 he's been with us. I've been meeting new ppl each week.. it is amazing to see God working in our church now. Our babies - young kids population has doubled or tripled as well! I'm so excited! I'm trying to get close with some of the young couples in our church now. I exchanged numbers with the couple I spoke of in a past blog that have the sweet newborn little boy.. I hope we'll really get together soon.

Okay, I 'think' I'll test on Thursday. I'll be pretty far at that point.. if I were pg it 'should' turn up... but who knows. I might get to Thursday and just not want to face a negative test. I'm torn on it right now. I used to not be able to wait to test.. at this point it's just depressing! Who needs to see a negative pg test AND see the hag show? Pahleeze!! That's unnecessary torture if you ask me! ;) I swear, I wish I could find a book that a real life woman wrote about her trying to conceive journey... I'd thrive on something like that right now. I know, I'm so sorry my blogs lately are so pg obsessed.. but let's face it, when I'm down to the one week to wait time, I AM obsessed and it's all I can think about! (which is probably why I wanted to bite the kids' heads off tonight) So, if this month isn't it... please pray I won't turn into some raging psycho woman. I'm crazy enough as it is ;)

Great birthday!

First off, I didn't get to say an in person THANK YOU to LeeAnn for the way cute bag and beach towel for my bday... THANK YOU!! Wow it is so gorgeous and I am so thrilled that the phrase "hot mamma" on the front of them made you think of me! *grin* Suzanne also brought over a left over pg test... I can't help but wonder; If a pg woman gives you a left over pg test, does that increase the chances of it being positive when you take it? Leslie came over too and got me a REALLY cute purse, which I am thrilled about b/c the one I just bought I HATE. It is really not functional! I'll be sporting it around.. you'll all get to see it! (and my new bag.. it's my new diaper bag!)

I'm excited that tomorrow is Sunday... I love looking forward to church! :) I wish Clayton were able to come with me... with him not getting home until 4am and then having to start work at 2pm tomorrow.. there's just probably NO WAY he's going with me. I totally understand.. but man.. it sucks always having to go without him. I do enjoy the kids both going to the nursery though, it's like my peace of quiet time.

Okay, not the best thing I've ever written, but I vowed to get into bed before 11pm tonight. I am horrible about staying awake until 1am or so when Clayton is out working. I'm exhausted all of the time... so tonight I'm making an effort to at least LAY DOWN before 11pm. Wish me luck! I'm about as good of a sleeper as Carter is.. ;)

If good things come in 3's...

... then I pray I'm good thing #2! Suzanne found out that Parker #4 is on the way (she already blogged about it so I'm not spilling the beans! lol) and I hope that I'll find out that I'm right behind her in about a week. Everyone be praying for a healthy baby and mamma!! Suzanne, please don't get bad morning sickness b/c that would really suck for my summer fun. ;)

I feel like the next several days are going to pass incredibly slowly. I've felt about as horrible as i possibly could this month and I'm praying all of the pain wasn't for nothing! If it was, eventually I'll have to call my doctor back and go in for another ultrasound to see what the heck is going on in my body. My body seems to be screaming "I HATE YOU" for the last two weeks of every month! Little does my body know that I am none to happy with it either for it's misbehavior!

Today is my birthday! I almost forgot, again! I'm a whopping 23 years old. ;) I wonder if my Mom and Dad are sad today that I'm this old... I cannot imagine my children being my age. I guess once they officially get out of the house each birthday is just another birthday? I'm already grown up... so I wonder if it hits my parents as hard as my kids' birthdays hit me?

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME and if I can get a beautiful + pg test in a week, I'll consider it the best belated birthday present EVER!

All about me

Lou tagged me! LeeAnn and Rosy, you're tagged next! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! (evil laugh lol)
You have to write 100 things about yourselves!

1. Born in Little Rock, AR
2. Spent first 5 years of life in Pine Bluff
3. Parents divorced when I was 5
4. Sister and I moved with Dad to DeWitt
5. Have a fairly large family. My Dad has 3 siblings, and my mom has 6 siblings!
6. Twins run in our family. My Dad is a twin, my Gma's brother was a twin, and it skips a generation as far back as they can count. Yep.. it's MY generation.. yikes!
7. One of my biggest fears is ever having twins!
8. I'm afraid of heights and spiders more than anything
9. I'm also afraid of 'paranormal' stuff.. have had several experiences I could've gone my entire life not experiencing
10. Met Clayton when i was 14, he was 16, we've been together since
11. Found out I was pg with Madison October 10, 2000 when I was 17
12. We were married November 25, 2000 and I was suffering with such horrid morning sickness that i was afraid I'd throw up walking down the aisle
13. We went to Hot Springs for our honeymoon
14. I practice "attatchment parenting" which involves no spanking, no cying it out, lots of baby wearing and holding, nursing on demand and in general self weaning, and cosleeping. (though carter now only sleeps with us in the mornings... which is nice)
15. I am prolife, but not an extremist. I'd never want to tell a woman she could not have an abortion if her LIFE were at risk or other extreme circumstances. In general though, I'm very anti abortion
16. I'm in Independant. I don't like the moral views of many Demoncrats, Don't like the slack environmental issues of the Republicans. If I were forced to pick one side, I'd be Republican
17. I try really hard to be a 'submissive' wife and don't feel like a doormat because of it
18. My husband is the best you could ever have
19. I worry a lot about our health (my family's) and try really hard to make healthy meals and have lots of physical actiivity each day.
20. I would love to have 4 children, but 3 will probably be it
21. I cannot imagine ever going to work... I have no desire to do anything but what i'm doing right now.
22. In accordance with my attatchment parenting policy, I think spanking should be illegal and seen just as a husband hitting his wife is. It wasn't long ago that a woman was her husband's property and subject to his hand when he was displeased
23. I always wanted curly hair, until this year
24. I'm 'type A' personality and drive myself insane reaching for a perfection that could never be acheived
25. I try not to expect my children to be perfect, but in reality I still do probably expect far too much from both of them
26. I don't like being wrong and often don't think I am wrong, big fault!!
27. I have one biological sister that is 6yrs older than I am, and 2 stepbrothers. One is my age and one is 2yrs older
28. I hated being home my entire life. I was never comfortable at home until I had my own
29. My first car was a 92 Sunbird... not the greatest but I really loved it!
30. It drives me crazy when hangers get stuck together in the closet
31. My biggest attraction to friends are if they can make me laugh and understand my dry wit
32. I like to talk.. a lot
33. I try to be a good listener when I can make myself shut up long enough
34. Due to health reasons when pg with madison I never graduated high school.
35. I was a straight A'd student my entire time I was in school
36. I have a horrible body image.. I finally have realized I'll never like my body so I might as well enjoy a cookie and shut up about it
37. I love being pregnant
38. I'm the sickest person I know when I am pregnant, and I still love it anyway
39. I get attatched to people really quickly
40. My logical side sometimes gets in the way of my spiritual side
41. I want an explantation for EVERYTHING
42. One of my biggest fears is that clayton will die
43. I worry about how i will die. I don't want to suffer, duh
44. If I weren't a mom, I'd probably be a child psychologist
45. I love my inlaws
46. I have 3 nephews and 1 neice
47. I really hope our next child is a girl... shhhh...
48. I like name brands
49. I want Madison to be the best dressed kid in Kindergarten, and yes, I realize how vain that is
50. I love to sing and dance.. when the kids aren't with me I'm JAMMING!
51. I, in secret, still listen to a Britney Spears CD that I loved in high school.. you know... Oops I did it again..
52. I only have one friend that I talk to from school
53. I still think my husband is hot after being with him for 9 years
54. I feel better about myself in this point of life than I ever have
55. I have dreams of fostering animals one day until they get adopted
56. I dream of adopting a child in the future
57. I've never flown in an airplane
58. I love chocolate!!
59. My dream vacation spot would be any gorgeous beach that isn't crowded
60. I have green eyes
61. I am the only green eyed person in my family, Clayton and the kids have blue eyes
62. I have a soft heart for teen girls... I know their struggles all too well
63. I don't like 'absolutes' in life. I always like to think things can change for the better
64. I dream of selling our house and moving closer to town into a bigger house... shame on me!
65. I'm addicted to Coca-Cola.. I no longer keep it in the house at all.. but the parkers are sweet enough to typically have one or two for me!
66. I actually do think I'm a good mom and wife, most of the time
67. I could be a better mom, wife, and friend if I had more grace for people
68. I hate how even country music videos now all have naked women dancing around
69. I hate all rap videos... could they be more generic?!
70. I have many thoughts of what I'd do to someone if they ever hurt my children or my husband.. Mamma Bear Syndrom I guess
71. Say something negative about my man and Them's fighten words!
72. I think people who don't like cops are typically the ones spending their time in jail
73. I think smoking around children should be considered child abuse
74. I wonder how anyone can like the taste of beer
75. or whiskey
76. or vodka
77. I'm a night owl... i'd rather stay up late and sleep in.. not that I ever get to sleep in but I do stay up late
78. I do not think Superman is attractive.. any of them
79. I like my hair to be long but always cut it because I think I'll like it shorter
80. I'm controlling
81. I think I'm fairly fun to be around.. I'm pretty laid back about most things
82. My biggest anxiety comes from my house being messy.
83. I wish we had a girls night out once a week!
84. I like the 'classic' look.. nothing to 'out there'.. and modern yet comfy
85. I find it easier to talk to men than women a lot of the time
86. I've been accused of having a male brain, except I can be a cryer at times
87. I truly do not care what most people think of me
88. I wish my husband had a different job, mainly due to the hours he works
89. I stay hot most of the time... give me air please!
90. I always wish that women today had the option to dress in big fancy dresses just to run to town like they used to and not be looked at weird
91. I love to dress up!!
92. I have to force myself to brush my teeth twice a day.. it's such a draining task for me for some reason lol
93. I can handle most gross things, but if I hear someone throwing up, I'm likely to puke too
94. I don't like any kinds of seafood
95. I love eating at The Outback!
96. I know just enough about computers to not be an idiot but not enough to do anything of importance on one
97. I can be jealous... if a girl is looking at Clayton it makes my blood boil!!
98. I actually like it that clayton is semi jealous!
99. I hate PDA!!!
100. I'd love to live around Hot Springs

WHEW!! If you read even half of those.. you deserve a certificate of loyalty to my blogg or something! Have fun LeeAnn and Rosy!

"If I have a girl, know what I'll name her?"

This question came from Madison after watching one of those baby shows on tv that I love so much right now. I ask her what she would name her baby girl and she says, "Allie." ISN'T THAT CUTE?! You have to keep in mind that typically when she names her stuffed animals it's not very original... her pony will be named "pony" and her idea of a really pretty name would be something like "Sparkle Pony" or something.. so for her to come up with a REAL name was so neat to me! I asked her what she'd name a boy.. and she couldn't come up with a name.. she is anti baby boy! She also remembered something i had told her when Carter was just SIX months old!! She had asked me (when carter was a baby) when we could have another baby, because she wanted a baby sister. She'd ask me this almost daily! I told her, "Well, we already have a baby right now, so maybe when Carter is big, we can have another baby if God gives us one." So yesterday she says to me, "Mommy, Carter is a big boy now isn't he?" "Yes, he is a big boy!" "Well then when are we having another baby?!" How on earth did she remember that?! Has she just been sitting on that all of this time waiting for me to say that, yes, Carter is a big boy? lol Kids' minds are amazing.. when Clayton calls me last minute to ask me to pick up something from the store that isn't on my list, I have to tell Madison to remember that item for me, and she does! 5 year olds sure do come in handy!

Madison also had her dentist appointment yesterday. The only traumatic part was taking her first set of dental xrays. Poor thing... you know the plastic things you have to bite on? They were gagging her and she was just a crying..but she still did it! Her teeth looked great.. no problems at all! The tooth they had put a watch on was fine so that is great. No loose teeth yet.. but she said to be on the lookot because kids typically lose their first tooth at age 5. WHAT?! I am really not ready for this next step towards her being a big girl. Her baby teeth will be gone?! WHY?! Ugh... time flies! Madison can't wait to lose a tooth... she's seen some friends with gaps in their smiles and she wants to be just like them!

Clayton and I had our first 'tiff' last night in a very long time. I KNOW it's because of two reasons. Reason 1: My progress in faith and with Christ. Satan is NOT happy that I've stopped listening to his lies that God isn't with me and that God doesn't care what happens to me. Reason 2: In small group we've been talking a lot about being a good wife and things related to that... holding your tongue, not beign easily offended, etc. All things IN GENERAL I don't struggle with. Satan is waging war with me though. I was upset with Clayton ALL DAY yesterday. I did have reason.. but not much of one. And even with all of his really great efforts to smooth things over I still sat on my anger and hurt and refused to let him off the hook. So we spent his ONE night off in a heated discussion with me crying and him looking at me asking "What do you want me to do? I don't know what else I can do!" I had no idea... I even had talked to Suzanne TWICE that day about how I knew that my feelings were related to my growing faith, but still, I didn't resist enough. I let myself dwell on those feelings and basically ruined what should have been a really great day/night. At least I'm blaming who's responcible.. Satan. There was a great spiritual battle being fought in my soul and I let myself lose with my emotions. He knows my weak point. So please be praying for my strength to not let him win this battle.. I know there will be many more tests of faith to come.. as there always are when you start to progress. I refuse to go back to where I was even two weeks ago... this battle I am on God's side!

God did hear me

Don't get too excited.. it's way too early to know if I'm pg this month or not. Let me give you a quick explanation of how to know if you're ovulating (well, if you're a woman lol) Basically you take your temp at the same time every morning and put the info on a chart. (I do mine online, it does the rest for me) Before you ovulate, your temp is low, once you ovulate you release the hormone Progesterone (which sustains a pregnancy if one occurs) and that hormone raises your body temp. so your post-ovulation temps automatically shoot up and stay up until the hag shows. So, when I had all physical signs of ovulation, I had no temp change.. a 'flat' chart as it is called. I was so discouraged. Every other month that I've had that happen I really had not ovulated.. so I felt very defeated. Then I remembered that post Lou made.. it had nothing to do with this, but that simple sentence of "nothing is impossible with God" came to mind, so I posted what I did yesterday. When I woke this morning my temperature went sky high!! God heard me.. he responded, and he did make what seemed impossible to me this month possible. For the FIST time in the 8 months we've been trying to conceive, I felt God was with me. I mean.. REALLY with me. I have tears running down my face as I type this. There's no scientific reason for this to happen.. it really is basically impossible.. I know it was God. Even if he still doesn't intend for me to be pregnant this month, at least I feel him with me now. The verse of the song "Praise you in this Storm" by Casting Crowns always made me cry because it was so true for me...

"My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find you?"

Now I feel I've "found" him. Now I can carry on. Thank you God!

Is God up to something?

Of course.. God is ALWAYS up to something... but I guess in the spirit of optimism I am hoping he's up to something big for us this month. So, without getting into a long and drawn out version of it, all of the 'ways' you can FOR SURE know you've ovulated have basically failed me this month, meaning it looks as though I did not ovulate at all. However, I'm feeling like I normally feel once I do ovulate... so this is beyond confusing. I had a thought though. I remember a great conversation Suzanne and I had a while back when they were still living with her parents. She was saying how Jeff had preached (or just had a talk with a group?) about praying SPECIFICALLY for things so that when those things came to pass you could give all of the glory to God. I'm sure Suzanne said it much better than I wrote it, but you get the idea. So my thought is, what if God is making it look like it is impossible for me to have gotten pregnant this month, so that WHEN I find out I am in a few weeks, all the glory is on him? Wishful thinking or maybe I'm onto something... I pray I'm onto something! So God.. if you make this happen this month.. you will have made the impossible possible!

Playgroup today ROCKED!! It was just Suzanne, Leslie, and me with our kids.. but the kids were great, the chit chat was fun, and we all went to Suzanne's after for pizza and more hanging out. Lou and Michael joined us there with Ashtan.. who I think will quickly become Carter's favorite boy if he can beat Noah out of the number 1 position. ;)

Does anyone else watch that show on FX "Rescue Me"? It is my favorite! I got into it in 2004 when Clayton was away at Troop School and I'd be up late begging God to let my wide awake baby boy fall asleep. It became my Tuesday night show and still is! If you ever catch it on watch it!

Our awesome preacher had a sermon that was based around our vision for our futures.. that no matter how young or old you are you should still have a vision of what you want in your life. So I was curious what everyone's short term "visions" are? Mine? Hmm.. of course to get another baby on the way! Also to make reading the Bible a regular part of my life, and a part of our family life. (Suzanne's recent blogg helped me realize I really need to get back into this!) What's yours?

He has to sleep soon, right?

My little man... his sleep saga continues. He's been doing SO WELL since Clayton was on the day shift last month and was home when he'd go to bed at night. For the past 3 nights in a row he's been up several times a night again, insisting on being in our bed, and refusing to stay in his bed no matter how many times I put him back. I cut his nap short this afternoon in hopes that he'll be extra tired and sleep more soundly tonight. Yeah right! I need sleep!!! If he was 2 months I'd be understanding of it.. but 2 YEARS? Not so much.

Whew! Did it get super hot outside today or what?! It's a perfect day for cold watermelon.. good thing we happened to have one. :) I love this time of year because of all of the fresh produce. There's not another time of the year that you can get such great fruit! I love it! (and most veggies too!)

I noticed at WalMart the other day that they've got the school supplies lined up! I'm guessing the school supply lists will be posted at the front door soon.. I can't wait to take Madison and pick out her stuff for Kindergarten! I have no idea what she'll need.. but I'm still excited about getting it! And of course there's school clothes shopping.. that's the best! This year I'll learn from my mistake last year and go ahead and buy some fall clothes too! I didn't think it through that it would be cool off and on fairly quickly after she started school... this time I'm aware!

Can I tell you how excited I am for our first Women's Small Group Wednesday night?!! I just know it's going to be awesome!! Suzanne... get me a list of stuff to bring why don't ya! I'm willing and ready to serve others. ;)

For Suzanne

I saw this on blogthings.com and laughed my head off when I got my results.. for some reason I just knew you'd find this funny too!

You Are Thong Panties

Woman, you are one hell of a ride! You're a total wild child - and you live for crazy times. Men are attracted to you like flies to honey, even though they know they should stay away. You need a expert cowboy who can keep in tune with your free spirit!

What Kind of Panties Are You?

Any why should boys stay away from me? I'm offended! ;)

yumm.. smores!

The Parkers hosted a camp fire last night and we all roasted hot dogs and marshmallows for smores. I am the only person on the planet that does not like hotdogs so i just settled for Smores for supper. (fine with me!) I won't disclose exactly how many I inhaled just while we were outside... but let's just say that in the dark of night, you feel you're hidden while stuffing yourself!

Another fantastic day at church! I am so happy with preacher now, FOR SURE. There were more people at church today than i've seen in a long time, so God is building us up again... thank goodness! A couple that sits across from me has a 5 week old little boy... as if having a new preacher isn't enough excitement for me! I could go just stare at the baby for an hour every Sunday!

Be praying for Madison. Her 6 month cleaning at the dentist is coming up this Thursday. Even though she's had this done routinely since she was 2.5, she still gets a bit scared. I can't blame her.. I do too. I hate having to go to the dentist! Even just a cleaning always hurts me. They put a "watch" on one of her top teeth at her last visit so I'm praying that it hasn't gotten any worse. If it did, they'll fill it... ugh.. poor baby. It's amazing how you can do all of the "right" things, and their teeth look totally fine, but you go to the dentist and they find a cavity! What's up with that?! What more could i possibly do to keep this girl's mouth cavity free than what I'm doing? Anyway... be thinking of us! Pray for strong teeth!

Nights again

Well, this is the first weekend that we start the night shift again. Hooray hooray... I've been busying myself trying to rearrange Maddy's room with the new GORGEOUS bookshelf we got for her. It's working. I cannot decide where I want that darn thing! For now I'm okay with the placement of everything, but tomorrow I think I might look at it and decide to crazy myself by moving everything around again. At least her bed has rollers on it! :) (that's more than I can say for the bookshelf...)

I'm so proud of my little man. He is getting so good at his colors! Some days he acts like he doesn't know any of them, and then today he went over them with me over and over again and got them everytime! What a smartie pants.

Okay, am I the only one that wants to call LeeAnn and tell her to get her booty home?! Poor Tay must be beside himself. I forget that not everyone is used to not seeing their spouce like I am.. but heck, even I still get really lonely when Clayton has to go off for weeks at a time. (or even days!) It's hard to cope without your other half. (I didn't say "better" half.. because that would be me)

Madison has now informed me that if I want to play 'centers' in her room, I must bring my name tag and put it on the wall next to the center I am in. (just like at school) So we had to make name tags for everyone in the family. She's putting the finishing touches on them now. When did she become so complicated?

So, what do you do when your 2 year old decided he 1)doesn't want to wear a diaper anymore and 2)doesn't want to potty train? So far my answers have been a) agree to the no diaper in hopes he'll go to the potty and clean up pee off of the carpet or b)force a diaper on him. Option B has been my option of choice lately. Toddlers are so similar to puppies aren't they? They put everything in their mouths, they bite, they run away when you call them, and they pee on everything. Good thing they're both SO cute!

Cars

Well, we took the kids to see Cars this afternoon and it was so cute! Carter sat through the entire movie! He fell asleep towards the end, and Madison laughed through a lot of it, so it was a big hit. Clayton and I enjoyed it too, I'm sure we'll be buying that when it comes out! After hearing everyone talk about what a great movie it was, we HAD to take the kids.

I was so excited yesterday. Rosie was at Suzanne's and I got to leave the kids at home with Clayton and go hang out! It was great to see her... I'm just sad I didn't get more hang out time! I hope they'll both come back and stay sooner than later. I'm looking forward to all of the Josh pics I know LeeAnn will have when they get back from keeping him!

Group was really great last night. I LOVE that we made the switch to split into mens' and womens' groups... I am really excited to see where God will take us in the weeks to come! Clayton said he really enjoyed the guy talk as well... so it seems everyone is happy with the arrangement! Perfect! I can't wait until next week to see what comes up for us to discuss! One of our main topics Wednesday was being a submissive wife.. and just being a BETTER wife. It was great to talk openly about what each of us struggles with in dealing with your husbands. I'm sure that now that we've shared those things, God will help us change OURSELVES. (not that I need to change... pahleeze.. I couldn't be more perfect!) HA HA HA!!!

Emotional

This will be an incredibly self absorbed, whiney, emotional post... so for those who seek something more upbeat... go elsewhere for today. I have no idea why I'm feeling like this. I'm not really sad, I'm definitely not mad, I'm just feeling weird. Okay, I know what it is.. it's what it always is when i feel like this. I'm thinking a lot about wanting another baby and every now and then it gets to me.. I mean it REALLY gets to me. I guess right now I'm just praying I'll ovulate soon, and that we'll be done trying to have a baby after this month, and it's a bit overwhelming to me at times. My life is so great.... almost perfect really... yet I feel this huge hole in my heart. Is there ANYTHING more overtaking than the wanting of a child?! It is so consuming!! I never would have imagined I'd feel this way even after having two children. I feel guilty sometimes, like why don't the two I have totally fullfill me? So many couples would give anything to just have ONE child and here I am upset that I can't have 3. For me, the two I have make me want another child even more. I just love loving them and I love how they love me, and I love that they are ours... we made them! That is truly amazing! (well, God made them.. you know what I mean!) I've found myself eyeing those tiny newborn clothes when I go shopping... I even broke down and checked out an old time favorite maternity store online the other night when Clayton was working and imagined being able to buy those clothes in the next few months. Why? Why must I torture myself?! I know this post totally sucks and is probably no fun for anyone to read.. I guess I just needed the therapy of writing tonight. I know that God is going to work this all out, but that just doesn't help me with how I'm feeling in this moment. I keep holding onto the thought that when I do get that + test.... all of the heartache of the months past will immediately melt away and none of these feelings will matter anymore! It will all be made right! Sorry again for the total bummer of a post!!

New Preacher Update

HE WAS FANTASTIC!!! PRAISE GOD! Oh my gosh... Sunday was the best time at church I've had in many months, possibly in the past two years since we've gone to our church. Our new preacher, I swear, was sent just for me. :) His preaching style is upbeat and you WANT to listen to what he'll say next, he's funny, he's serious, he makes sense, and he hits you with point after point after point. I am so pleased with the blessing God has sent First Presbyterian Church! Thanks be to God!

So what's everyone doing for the 4th? So far our plans are going to visit family and have a big cookout thing. I'm not looking forward to the long drive... Clayton has to work so it'll be just the kids and me, but all in all I'm sure it will be a great time. I'm not sure if we'll see fireworks this year. Clayton always does those and I'm pretty sure I won't be up to going to the lake once we get back to town.. we'll see though! If nothing else we can always buy fireworks the day after for really cheap and shoot them on the 5th. :)

So, our puppy Major is really growing up! He's just the best dog! (well, don't ask our cat for his opinion.. he hates the dog!) So far he's been a very well behaved puppy... minus a few times he's chased and attacked the kids. ;) (puppies play really rough!) He's learned "sit" and I'm not sure there's much else i think he needs to know! Might as well work on some other tricks just for fun.. stimulate his brain! (and mine...)

My baby boy is talking up a storm! He went from barely saying anything to now speaking in simple sentences. He asks me all of the time now, "Is that hot?" if I'm feeding him something... or if he sees something, for instance like this morning he say a turtle on tv.. he said, "Is that a turtle?" He just asks about everything! He's even learned to say "sorry Mommy (or daddy)" if he hurts us... typically when he's trying to cuddle with us but will not sit still and he elbows us in the ribs! (Suzanne.. does this remind you of a certain middle child of yours?) :)

Well, everyone have a great 4th of July! I'm guessing I'll see many of you Wednesday night at the Parkers! (at the parkers?)

Can't wait to go to church!

We get our brand new preacher tomorrow for the first Sunday... I am so excited! I am praying he'll bring new life into our church! (and help me get back into the 'groove' so to speak) I'll let you all know how it goes! Pray for our church!

We had such a great time Friday night! The Parkers and the James's all came over and we just ate and hung out all night. It was a really nice way to end our "good" month that Clayton had a day shift. Starting Monday he's back on nights... so it'll be another 4/5 months before we see a day shift again. :P Ah well, he does have Wednesday nights off this month, so we can at least still go to small group together! I'm sure I'll adjust to going to bed alone after a few nights of it... if not I"ll just be very tired!

My favorite show is having a marathon tonight! Law & Order SVU.. man I love this show! I really shouldn't be watching it since Clayton's working overtime tonight and won't be home until way late, but I just can't resist. Even the ones I've seen several times before, I still sit and watch!

I thought of something kind of neat the other day. If I get pg this month, within our family our birthdays will be:
baby - March
Clayton - April
Carter - May
Madison - June
Me- July

Isn't that so cool?! Maybe that's what the hold up has been.. God just had this cute scheme all planned out. I'LL TAKE IT! :) Be praying for us... within a week or so I will know if I'm going to ovulate on my own again or not... I'm a little nervous about it but, also feeling a little less stressed over it than usual. I think I'm fianlly learning, a little, to give it over to God and let HIM deal with it. That is SO hard to do... but I really am trying! I have to say that having great friends that help remind me to do this has helped a lot. I can't imagine going through this without you guys to keep me lifted and to pray with and for me!

Hangin` with Taylee

We had such a great time last night and Taylor and Leeann's. Carter ran around insane the entire time.. chasing Banjo. Poor cat! Thankfully he didn't break anything but he had fun rearranging the room that is soon to get a makeover anyway. Books on a bookshelf are just begging to be thrown about a room! (which is strange because he doesn't touch the bookshelves we have here...) Taylor made an awesome supper.. I ate so much that, honestly, I was not hungry at all when I woke up this morning! It took me almost an hour to want to eat at all! Thanks for the bread too! Madison gives it a thumbs up! And yes, we are SO going to do the Red Lobster thing when we can!

Tonight is the last night of VBS. We'll all get to go and eat and sing and dance and see everything Madison has learned over the past week. She is so excited to show off her new 'skills' as she says. (Napolean Dynamite... Clayton is always talking about "skills" and now my daughter has picked it up... fantastic!)

Can I tell you that my son is not sleeping well, again!!! He was doing so great over the past several weeks, and now he's back to his old ways. 2 out of 3 nights he's been up several times. He gets into bed with us, keeps us awake by rubbing on us and kicking us, we put him back to his bed, he comes back to our bed, we put him back, he comes back. This goes on for HOURS!!! I don't know what to do with this kid. I just pray whatever he's going through that's messing with his sleep ends soon. Maybe the weird VBS schedule has thrown him off.. he doesn't deal well with change in schedule very well. Send us sleep vibes! So, due to the lack of sleep, I am having a hard time being a good mommy today. I really just want to veg out in front of the TV and not talk to anyone and definitely not get the kids ready to go out and sweat like I'm about to have to do when I"m done blogging. (notice how long this entry is? Am I avoiding going outside?) I'm contemplating getting the pool out.. then I can lay out and they can play and we'll both be doing what we want. :) Sounds like a compromise to me!

VBS!

Madison has been having a blast at VBS this year. She loves the costumes and is really enjoying the singing and dancing. She's made some really cute jewlrey already and she showed me a gorgeous cross she made last night. I can't wait to get all of her stuff home.. we get to bring it all home with us tomorrow. (that's the last night of it) I think this has been a really good thing for getting back in 'school' gear and being away from home and me again. She's had no problems with it so I'm feeling pretty confident she'll transition into Kindergarten easily. I'm not sure how easily I'll transition into her going, but there isn't a whole lot to be done about that!

We get to hang out at TayLee's tonight so that should be a good time. We'll just have Carter with us so that will make it easier to actually TALK to people! I have no clue who all will show up, but I hope most of the group can make it tonight. I'm so used to our weekly meetings that I feel a little sad when something happens and it doesn't happen!

We're starting dog training now.. or I am I should say. So far Major is a pretty smart pup. He's doing great with "sit" and "down" so I'm excited to see how much we'll be able to teach him in the future! Carter loves the dog! He runs to pick up his toy to throw for him and Major just dashes after it, which Carter finds hilarious! Carter chases the dog, the dog chases Carter... it sure does make playing outside easier on me! I just get to sit and watch! :)

Okay, if I don't get kids dressed, we will be late for VBS.. can't have that!

Things you might not know...

After reading Lou's blogg about her plan for the next 3yrs and her background.. I wondered how much we all really know about each other's pasts? (what we want to share of it anyway!) I'm pretty much an open book.. there's not much that i'm not willing to talk about or share. I guess I figure that you can't learn from each other without opening up! So here are some things ppl MIGHT not know about me:

* Grew up in DeWitt.. parents divorced when I was 5, sis and I moved in with Dad. He remarried when I was 6 so I got a stepmom and 2 step brothers.. life was okay from then on out, but lots of fights and tears came along with a blended family. Mom lived in Pine Bluff still.. got to see her every other weekend until I was a teenager and begged for more mom time.

* I was a cheerleader all through school, and a cheer coach once I hit high school. I was the first FFA (Future Farmers of America) female president EVER in my school..it was a big deal and i was proud. :) I was in every club I could fit into my schedule and kept myself as busy as possible in school.

* I met Clayton when I was just 14. (almost 15) and we've been together since! We had a long distant relationship until we were married!

* I found out i was pg with Madison when I was just 17. (the day I found out happened to be my mom and stepdad's anniversary.. HAPPY ANNIVERARY GUYS!) :0 Clayton and I were married within a few weeks and I've never been happier in my life than since we started our own family. It was like now I could do things right, have a family like a family is supposed to be!! Madison has always been a blessing to us.. never a burden or a "woops"... people kept saying I should have an abortion, give her up for adoption, or even give her to my sister because I was too young... no way could a teen mom be a good mom! (HA TO THEM!! WHAT DID THEY KNOW?!!) 5.5 years of marriage and TWO great kids later, no one questions our relationship or our parenting anymore. No one is surprised that we're trying to have another child and most ppl say we should have another. :) What a change from 5 short years ago.

* I love music... I mean really.. I LOVE music. I'm not picky.. I listen to just about anything. (well, rap music usually makes me mad.. so maybe picky about rap but not much else!)

* My weakness is clothes. I have a hard time not buying the best of the best for all of us... I've gotten better at looking for deals and sales now though! And I've finally figured out that WalMart really does carry some darn cute stuff!

* I had some hard times in my youth that I didn't want to mention... but things that made me angry at God, made me almost feel I hated him... but I've gotten through those things with first, help from Clayton, and later, once I asked, help from God. I can't believe the stable adult i've turned into at just 22 years old. (I'll be 23 July 15!) If you add up all of the things in my life it would NOT equal where I am today... God says nothing is impossible through him and my life story is proof of it.

I'm done boring you with my life story! I cut out a lot... but I thought it'd be fun if anyone else was inspired to do the same on their blogg. I love peeking into people's minds and lives! (just as I'm the person that is NOT bored looking at your 20 albums of pics... bring 'em on!)

Oh, and thanks a million to Suzy P for the links i now have on my blogg! Patient I am not and I never could figure out how to get links on here myself.. she was so sweet to sit for a while and help me.. no.. do it for me! :)

She's here...

My evil friend found me this morning... so month 8 it is. I'm really okay about it, surprisingly. I guess I'm so thrilled that I actually ovulated on my own that it gives me a lot of encouragement to keep on keeping on! :) And more good news is.. if I get pg in the next 3 months, we'll have a spring baby... perfect, right?! No winter worries!

Just a random throw in for those at group last night: UNLG.. remember what this stands for? Thanks for the huge laugh Matt!!! We had a great group last night and awesome food! I'm still full from all of the tacos and cookies I inhaled! And sweet tea... the only place I ever get sweet tea is at Suzanne's house! She makes the best evah!

I think Carter has officially started saying "daddy" correctly.. much to my sadness! He's always said it without the middle d's... "da-ey" is the best I can spell the way it sounds... but as of yesterday he's really saying it right! WHY?! Why must he grow up on me? Okay, okay.. I know he should learn to speak correctly at some point in life.. but why did he have to pick that oh so cute word to change so soon? Next thing ya know he'll be calling me "Mom" instead of 'mama'.. that I am so not ready for!

Can I say what a hard time I'm having getting my house in order since we've gotten home? It's making me insane! If you know me well, you know I can be a bit of a neat freak.. okay.. I"m a big obsessive compulsive about cleaning.. and not being able to catch up on the housework yet is a hard lesson in letting things go for me. I was so proud of myself this morning when, instead of cleaning, I took the kids outside to play, and then we came in and painted and made drawings which made MORE of a mess. Hey.. it's summer break right? Gotta have fun! Now, I'm off to clean up the messes we've made before I lose my mind!

We're home!

We had a wonderful little vacation! Went to stay with my mom Sunday night, went to Hot Springs early Monday and went to Mid America Museum and spend a few hours looking and playing with everything! The kids liked some of it, didn't like some of it, but all in all a really fun time. Then we went downtown and hiked up to the Tower. Madison complained almost the entire way up there (we were all already tired.. so we ended up having to carry the kids most of the way up.. ugh...) Carter was terrified when we got into the clear elevator that you can watch yourself going up REALLY high and clung to me the entire time... I was clinging the side of the elevator because I too was terrified... I hate heights! We all were fine once we were up to the top. The kids thought it was really neat! Carter found a small puddle at the very top that he enjoyed more than anything else the entire day. :) We went back to my mom's that night, she watched the kids and Clayton and I went to The Outback to eat.. YUM! My favorite place! The next day we spent at Wild River Country.. it was SO much fun! Madison even liked a lot of the slides! She's just like her daddy... I hate most of those! We got home around 4:30pm and just collapsed... after unpacking that is. ;) Clayton has today off as well.. though he's been gone all morning helping his Gma clean a bedroom of hers because a friend from her high school is coming to stay with her! (talk about friends FOREVER! GMA IS 81!!)We've got group tonight so that should be fun! I've got to find out where we're having it.. someone give me a shout out and tell me! :)

Some sad news... I took a pg test this morning and it was negative so once my evil 'friend' shows up we'll be moving onto our 8th month. I'm okay with it... mainly I'm just sick of the rollar coaster ride of emotions, but what can ya do? God has the perfect time in his head...and I can't change it so it's not really worth being upset about I guess. I just pray my body will work correctly this go round like it did last month so I can at least have a shot at it.

Oh.. we should all be praising God for healing Jonah! My last report yesterday was that he's doing much better! Thank you Lord!

all kinds of info for everyone

First off, LeeAnn tagged me so:

Name your favorite...

1. Candy: Hershey Chocolate bar with Almonds

2. Cookie: chocolate chip, soft and gooey!

3. Donut: glazed

4. Cold Drink: Coca ~ Cola

5. Hot Drink: hot chocolate

TAG SUZANNE AND LOU!! :)

Now for updates and info!

IT'S MADISON'S BDAY! She turned 5 today. I am a ball of emotions! I was in tears when we sang Happy Birthday at her party today when I saw that big number 5 candle on her cake. It hit me like a ton of bricks! She was so excited this morning.. she said, "Mommy it's my birthday!! I'm 5 years old and I'm not going to be 4 anymore!" She skipped around the house so happy to finally be 5... and all I could think was how right she was.. she will NEVER be 4 again. Four was a fabulous age for us... I'm extremely sad to see it's already gone. On a great note I feel my prayers for NO RAIN on our party were answered! It rained all around us.. but only sprinkled on and off here at the house so the kids got to run in and out all day.. it really was the best party ever! Madison loved every minute of it! There were no fights between kids, no fussing, no whining, no nothing. It was incredible! (it only could've been improved if poor Jonah would've been well enough to be here and the Parker family!! We missed you guys and I'm worrying for and about you constantly right now with your sick boy!)

On a sad note, I took a pg test this morning.. negative. It's still pretty early... I'm still praying that result will change if I retest in a few days... but it was still pretty depressing. We'll see what happens in the near future! Clayton is super excited because he just figured out that I can buy tests at the Dollar Store... his face lit up when I got one the other day when we went! "You mean that's just ONE dollar?! Really?! Well stock up!" He's so funny! I probably will be stocking up and testing every day until the hag shows! I'm feeling insane about it this month for some reason. (probably because I know i actually ovulated.. that is always helpful when trying to get pg!)

Happy note again! We're going on a mini vacation starting TOMORROW! So if I'm not around.. that's why. We're heading to Little Rock tomorrow to visit with family, staying with my mom that night, going to Hot Springs the next morning and spending the day doing whatever floats our boat. :) That night we're thinking of going back to my mom's and then the next day going to Wild River Country. THe kids will love it and so will we! I'm so excited!

Another huge blessing... Clayton's overtime money is really adding up each pay period now. It has been such a breeze him working it! I really feel that God has smiled down on us so much lately.. except the not being pg yet.. but I know he's working on it!

Longest post ever?!! I had a lot to update on! See you guys after vaca!!

a new "blogthing"

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

sadly I think the last part is for sure true of me at times! yikes!

worn out!

Ugh.. I'm in my 'fun' week where I'm just plain exhausted. I went walking with Leslie around her neighborhood this morning and barely made it! I'm so glad we went though.. it's always nice to chit chat while you burn some calories.

I ended up finding Major (the puppy) down the road at our neighbor's house.. he had followed someone down there and just got stuck. He hasn't left the house AT ALL since we brought him home! Maybe it was a scare that was good for him. The kids and I took him to the vet yesterday. He's about 9 weeks old, 14 pounds, and she said he's a German Shephard/Chow mix. Aren't we good at picking out dog breeds?! That's exactly what we were thinking. :) He got two shots, wormed, and we go back in 3 weeks. It's so much like having a baby! Only his Dr. visit cost more than the kids' ever have! YIKES!

Group is tonight at LeeAnn and Taylor's.. I can't wait! I love our small group! It's hard to find an entire group of people that you really do like, and this is one of them. I just hope our kids don't destroy their house! Apology in advance if they do guys! ;)

Well, the one week countdown is upon me. In about one week... we'll find out if this was 'the' month or not. Lord please let the time go by quickly with POSITIVE results! (tee hee)

Birthday Shopping

Don't you just love to have a good excuse to go shopping?! Madison's birthday party will be June 17 and I HAD to go shopping for her presents! I already know the two toy things she'll be getting from us... but she needs clothes too! So the whole family loaded up and went to the mall and I bought the CUTEST clothes for her. It was such a blast. It's amazing to me that I like shopping for the kids way more than I like shopping for me now. (don't get me wrong, I still really like shopping for me!) I can't wait for her to open all of her stuff... I hope she likes it all.

Our puppy, Major, (yes clayton won the name battle.. Major it is!) has disappeared! Well.. he's probably at our neighbors' house because he and their dog have been spotted playing together a lot lately. I just pray he comes home tonight or tomorrow morning for feeding time! We'll all be so sad if he doesn't come home. :(

Can I say how incredibly impatient I'm feeling? This month cannot end fast enough for me. I am so ready to know if we got our baby or not, it truly might make me crazier than I already am! At least Madison is home to help keep me more busy. Friends out there.. KEEP ME ENTERTAINED THE NEXT TWO WEEKS!

Am I all American?

All American Kid

Popular but not plastic. Athletic but not a jock. Smart but not a brain. You were well rounded and well liked in high school.

Who Were You In High School?

Maybe this is why I never could really pick a crowd to totally put myself into in school!

Stole this from LeeAnn

You Are Miss Piggy

A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it. You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less. You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way. Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!

The Muppet Personality Test

Frisco! No, Major!

We got a puppy! After almost running it over on our way home the other night, Clayton went back out on the same road in his patrol car to work overtime and heard it whining outside of his car door! So he stuck it in the car and brought him home! :) So we rescued a puppy! He's sooo cute! He appears to be some kind of chow/sheppard mix. His purple spotchy tongue indicates the chow, his long legs and HUGE pointy ears indicates sheppard.. but who knows! He's obviously a mutt but we love him already. Now to decide a name for the new arrival! Madison is determined to name him Frisco. Clayton however says no to that.. he wants to name him Major and won't let madison have her way. I'm trying to convince madison that Major is a good name... she's slowly coming around. But I, somehow, think that "frisco" might be the dog's name in the long run! I personally couldn't care less! He's my new baby until God gives me another human baby. :)

Speaking of human babies... I actually ovulated all by myself this month!! For the first time in about 2/3 months and I just cannot believe it! I was starting to feel hopeless of my body correcting itself anytime soon.. but God heard my cries! Even if I don't get pg this month... it's good to know that my body is still capable of doing this! I can already feel the testing frenzy about to overtake my life. It's going to take everything I have to not take a test every single day for a week at the end of the month! I just have so much hope for this month! Everything was just so pefect... it's hard not to get excited!

We're off to a fun filled night at the Parker's tonight! Thankfully I get the easy job of supplying drinks... Suzanne knows what jobs to give to me in times like these! :) And just an FYI: I LOVE CASTING CROWNS!! I hate to say it but in general I've just never been able to get into Christian music that much. But every single song I've heard from them I love! They're so touching and they all make me cry! I find myself listening to the christian station all of the time in hopes one of their songs will play. My favorite right now is for sure "Praise you in this Storm" b/c I can so directly relate it to our trying to get a baby journey, but "Life Song" is also very close to my top favorites list!

GO ASTROS!

We have our second to last Tball game tonight. We're so excited! It's the 6:30 game and it's a lot cooler at that hour than at the 5:15 one so Madison enjoys it a lot more. Now that school's out I'm really kind of bummed that Tball is finished! I guess before long it'd be too hot day and night to be outside playing tball, so maybe it's good that we're ending on a nice note!

I had such a great morning! Suzanne and the kids and LeeAnn met my kids and I at the track and we went walking. The kids ran around and played and we got to girl talk. It was such a good time and it felt really good to start the day off with exercise. I hope we can continue that on for at least a few weeks before we start getting tired of the heat. :) It's so much easier to walk WITH friends compared to doing it alone.

Well my mom has saved the day! She went to Party City in Little Rock and they do have unicorn stuff! She bought some things and I told her the other stuff I needed and she offered to go back to get it! (awesome!!) Madison is going to probably cry she'll be so excited. That girl is absolutely obsessed with ponies, unicorns, horses, etc. I hope she doesn't start wanting a real pony or horse.. that is so not going to happen! I barely think we could handle getting a dog right now, much less livestock!

I got my baby fix over the weekend! It was Clayton's gpa's 87th bday so some of the family got together at their house and my neice and nephew were there. My neice (Sarah Grace) is just 3 months old and SOOO CUTE!! She let me hold her for quite a long time and she's in the talking and cooing phase big time. She smiles so big. :) It was great to get to hold a baby. Praise the Lord for the miracles he brings us!

Whew! The week is over!

Well it's finally Friday! My man is done with FTO school and my baby girl is officially out of preK. Can I say that I CRIED all day b/c it was her last day? I'm really going to miss it there. I cannot imagine now driving her there everyday and seeing all of the kids. I just LOVED it and am so sad it's no longer a part of our lives. (at least until Carter is 4 and then he'll go) It's so hard to let go. I'm sure her first day of Kindergarten I'll need Clayton to hold MY hand as we walk her into the school. I'll demand he takes the morning off if he doesn't have it off already. ;) At least today I got to swing by Suzanne's for a pick me up. I felt like a basket case crying to her about it, but that's what friends are for, right? Madison seems fairly unphased by it. She did say she'd miss her best friend, but other than that she doesn't seem to care. I think she's ready to be at home again. It will be a nice change of pace for a little while!

I really don't have a ton to say. I'm just so thankful that Clayton is back home to stay! I should walk myself into the kitchen and stare mindlessly at the fridge in hopes an idea of what to make for supper will pop out at me! Wish me luck!