Can I have your attention please?

I finally weighed myself today and I have lost, drum roll please.....
4 POUNDS! Hip, hip, HOORAY! Hip, hip, HOORAY! Four down, 12ish to go. I've been working out, and boy do I feel like this guy! I don't know how I managed to get this weak, but I know I'll never do this to myself again! I've been trying to jog a little... HA! I'm not sure if 20 seconds of jogging per every 2 minutes of walking actually can be called "going jogging" but that's where I'm starting. (can your lungs actually burst?) I've pulled out some of my old favorite workout videos and dvd's. The first one I did I loved... oldie and goodie. The second one, I got a little too self confident when I decided to tackle it. The first 10 minutes were pretty tough on me, and I got a shock when the instructor said, "great warm-up!" Warm-up? Seriously? Yeah... the first real cardio segment almost killed me and the first weight section left me so sore the next day that my armpits even hurt. Yeah... seriously... didn't even know you had muscles in your armpits but apparently you do. Notice I only mentioned the first two segments of that workout.. because that's all I could manage. I did try it again the other day and made it about 5 minutes farther.. baby steps. So, I'm working really hard at just trying to workout. At least my efforts are paying off. I'm allowing myself one or two times a week to really 'cheat' on my healthier eating. Typically Wednesday nights (small group.. always lots of good food!) and Saturday. I have to have some fun here! (at least until my weight loss stalls.. then I'll have to get more strict. Not now though!) Am I the only one that is realizing how much they totally suck fitness wise right now? I feel like I've got such a long way to go before I get to where I want to be. I'm glad I started when I did... it sure wasn't going to get any better on its own!

The Pick Up Artist

Has anyone, besides me, seen this new show on VH1? I watched it the first time planning to just sit, laugh, and make fun of how silly it was. Well, it was kind of silly, but I got hooked! The basic idea of the show is they took some guys that were really really horrible at picking up women and put them in a house together where they got "lessons" from this completely odd looking guy that calls himself 'Mystery' about how to be the ultimate pick up artist. Now, "Mystery" doesn't look like a guy (to me) that would pick up ANYONE... so it was amazing to hear him talk and his 'lessons' and watch them work! Clayton asked me at one point, "would that work on you?" and was shocked when I said, "yeah, probably!" (well, not now that I'm married of course!) This whole show got me thinking though... are we women REALLY that difficult to figure out? I mean, come on! If you act like a human and have basic manners and at least some confidence... it shouldn't be 'that' difficult to find someone. These guys were just horrible! They put them in clubs so there were plenty of women to torture.. I mean... talk to... and it was just amazing how truly bad they were at talking to the opposite sex! There's the guy that doesn't take the "I'm not into you" cues so he appears stalker-ish b/c he won't stop following the women, there's the guy that totally lacks confidence and spends the entire conversation trying to ask questions to see if the girl is into him at all from the first 5 seconds on, there's the guy that swears he's straight but seriously acts gay (no lady wants to date a gay man... FYI); you get the idea. I guess being a woman I just found it laughable that some men just don't get it... AT ALL!
Here's some pointers!
* Don't be weird! Don't say weird things... don't talk about super heroes, video games, electronics, race cars, or anything else 'weird' or too guy-ish. We don't care about those things... we will pretend to care IF we decide we like you and you can feel free to talk A LITTLE about these things later on... but not when we first meet you.
*On the flip side don't try to talk about too much girly stuff either... if I find out you get your nails done and you go to the tanning bed... I'll find you prissy and possibly think you're gay... and I already touched on the not acting gay part so I'll stop there.
*Shut up! If all you do is talk and never listen... you'll seem either really nervous or really full of yourself... neither is a turn on.
* Be confident. There's nothing that makes women run away from a man faster than a man that slumps his shoulders, looks down at the ground, won't make eye contact, and seems at the bottom of his social status pole. If you act like you're important... we'll probably think you are. Like it or not, status is a big deal. Not money status necessarily, but how you are in a group. If others flock to you, we'll figure they're all right about you and flock to you as well.
* Get over your own physical appearance. Sure, it can immediately attract a woman, but in the first few minutes of conversation, what comes out of your mouth and how you carry yourself goes a lot farther than muscles. I, personally, always go for a witty and funny guy... if he can make me laugh he can keep my company. (so clayton better stay funny....)
* I don't want to hear about your mother or sister on a first date. Unless I ask.. don't bring them up. Immediate competition and you might seem like a serious mamma's boy.. which some women may like... but I can only speak for myself.. I hate that! (a 'sissy' mamma's boy I mean... as in mom still irons my clothes and bakes me cookies when I go cry to her about bad day... twice a week..)
* Don't bad mouth other women. Nothing is a redder red flag to me than how a man talks about his past girlfriends, or in general, women in his life. (moms and sisters included in this category too... love them, but don't be obsessed with them)
*Think before you open your mouth... seriously.. this can go a long way
*If I seem annoyed, or am making excuses to leave or stop talking to you, PAHLEEZE take the hint. Don't follow women around like a puppy... it's creepy and it makes us have to be rude to you to make you stop. Sucky all around.
*play hard to get! Yes... if you start a conversation, get us interested, and then have to jet off before we can decide we don't like you.. we'll probably chase you. It's true... I don't care what ANYONE says.. playing hard to get WORKS if there's an initial attraction.

So, there ya go. Other ladies can weigh in on what would work for them.. but this is my general list of guidelines. Please, pass this, and any other lists that follow in the comments, to your single friends that you know need some help. It could change their life... or at least help the women around them be less annoyed...

Alright.. I finally did it

I always hold out to change anything! I FINALLY upgraded my blog like most of you did many moons ago. When it said "many of your recent changes to your blog will not be saved" I just avoided doing it. I like blogging but I'm not one of these folks that ENJOYS working on my blog's features and colors and headings and so on. It aggrivates me. I was pleasantly surprised to see how easy the new setup is and I'm kicking myself for holding out for so long. I plan to add pics and stuff... eventually. You know.. slow to change...

Now, if any of you that aren't linked, and wanna be, would do me a favor, I'd appreciate it! Just leave me your URL in a comment so I don't have to search you all out! If I come to your blog, or you come to mine, please.. leave me an address so I can link you. I just don't have the drive to run all around blog world looking for you all... and some of you are hard to find b/c you don't have your profiles public or "shared" so I can't get your addresses when you comment here. So, there ya go. Here's your chance to be featured on my blog. Don't you feel so special?

frustrated

Madison is doing great in school. She's 4 levels higher in reading than the average 1st grader, and above average on everything else as well. So, imagine my shock when we get her nine weeks progress report and find that she has 99's in everything.... except writing. In writing she has an 85B. It's an okay grade, but I know she's above average in writing.. so why the lower grade? SHE'S BORED!! She's rushing through her worksheets and getting points taken off b/c the letters aren't formed perfectly. When I ask her about it she says, "Why do I have to do a letter B worksheet? That's BABY work!" *sigh* Yes.. to her that's "baby work" and she's frustrated with having to do it. (I'd be frustrated about having to write the letter 'b' 20 times when I already knew how to do it as well) So... what's a mom to do?! I am understanding more and more why people homeschool. I like that she's in school.... but I don't like several things about school. Like that it's too long, there's not enough "free play" or creative time, and their ability to work with students at THEIR level is just extremely limited. Why can't we have a Montisorri (sp?) School here?! That is my dream... I think we need to move to Little Rock.. I 'think' there's one there. Ugh... I just feel like there isn't an option that really suits us. Clayton would never let me homeschool... but I'm feeling less and less satisfied with the public school system. We can't afford to send 3 kids to private school.. and the one here only goes to 6th grade anyway. (why is that?) This must be why people get together to form Charter Schools... Sorry for the rant.. just really frustrated right now!

My 3 month old

How has it been 3 months already?! Samuel is growing like crazy, eating like crazy, and his sleep patterns have also turned crazy lately. I'm hoping that's just b/c he's in period of such rapid growth and that it'll settle soon. *yawn* He wants to stand up in our laps or be held so he can sit up most of the time now. He's still super cuddly too, though. (ask LeeAnn... for some reason she always has the knack for getting that boy to sleep! What a life savor when your arms are exhausted!) He laughs every single day now... and the laughs are growing bigger and louder! I LOVE the baby laughs... I have been waiting and waiting for him to finally give me one. When he laughs, EVERYONE in the house laughs. Madison and Carter think his giggle is just hilarious. Madison was literally crying from laughing at his laugh last night.... that's what life's supposed to be like, isn't it? A happy home full of laughing kids. Too bad the kids don't know that... why didn't someone send them a copy of the fairy tail we parents have in our heads when we decide we want them? Laughing and playing sweet - part of the story; fighting, whining, hitting, biting, screaming - not part of the story. Ah well, you take the good with the not so good. I'm sure we as parents far too often also don't know the stories they have in their little heads of how parents are supposed to be. (cookies before bed, always time to play, never angry, never tired... HA!) I must say that I feel so good about life right now. I feel good about my marriage, my kids, our friends.... just everything! Everyone is healthy and happy... there's really nothing else I need than that. (though extra shopping cash is always a nice bonus!)

Thanks for making me cry!

Church at Journey left at least half of the congregation in tears. Jeff preached from Samuel all about Hannah and her longing for a child and her vow to God if he'd give her a son. He did give her a son, she named him Samuel. (the extremely short version of the story) Of course, all I could think of is our struggle to get pregnant, my many talks with God (pleading, begging, screaming, apologizing, loving, hating... lots of things going on with me and God that year) and how he answered my prayer with a son, and how we named him Samuel. I was holding my little guy as he slept during the sermon which made it all the more emotional. I couldn't look at him without crying. Even later that day when I started thinking about all that was said again, I'd tear up. I thought about how extremely blessed I am. Three great healthy kids! When we found out I was pregnant with Madison it was such a crazy time. I was only 17, Clayton 19. Even then I knew she was God's precious gift to us and I also knew I did not deserve her. We were pleasantly surprised years later with Carter. Again, I felt so undeserving. I wasn't even asking for children, yet God provided two perfect babies to me (us). Clayton and I often talked about the shock of finding out Madison was coming... and how we wondered if God gave her to us so young because maybe something in the future would mess up our having children. Boy, was that ever the case! At the ripe old age of 23 I was unable to become pregnant. Surgery, meds, prayers... I never would have thought I'd have a fertility struggle.. much less at such a young age. My ovaries went Ka-Put.. just like my Mom's had done her when she was young. (she had my sister when she was 17 and me when she was 23) It made me so thankful when God did finally allow a baby to come into our lives again. I had started to give up. Then it happened. I will NEVER forget how I felt when those two lines finally appeared on my once dreaded pregnancy test. I was shaking, my heart was pounding, and I literally almost threw up. I cried so much that I could barely call to tell Clayton the news. (he was away for training.. of course lol) Now I look at our fab family. Three little ones... all healthy, all created for our family. My God is so great... his love is so overwhelming... and his power is something we should always have both fear and joy about. Why he's blessed me so I'll never know. My goal is to keep those blessings counted daily. He gives, and he takes away... we should be thankful for whatever we have today, every single day. Especially those we love.

Repeat after me...

"This doesn't taste as good as being thin feels."
"This doesn't taste as good as being thin feels."
"This doesn't taste as good...."

Dear Body,
I hate to do this to you. I hate to make you go to bed hungry for the third night in a row. I hate that all you can think about it how good it would feel to inhale a bagel slathered in butter right now. I hate that I am so motivated that I am forced to deny you things of this nature. I promise, in a week when you're another pound lighter, and feeling healthier, you will thank me. You might even jump on the bandwagon and stop sabotaging my efforts with your cravings and constant desire to eat. You might even feel like exercising instead of making me make you do it... again. Body, you may not think so right now, but I'm doing this because I love you. This is hard for me too... it's not comfortable to say no to the things I want... but I'm doing it for you.. for us! For some reason you think you should hold onto these extra pounds, but I promise you don't need them. I promise there won't be a famine that you'll need the extra in storage. And if there is.. you can say "I told you so!" and I won't be angry. But, from now on you're just going to have to realize this is how things are going to be. Like they used to be before I let you take over. I'm the rational one, and I'm going to be making the decisions from now on.. I hope we can live together in harmony like we used to. I promise, things will get easier.
Love,
Brain