Just what I need... (edited)

... to knock me down a peg or two. The perfect follow up to the mushy "I love my kids" post I just made. I decided two days ago it was time to alternate toys so I brought in two old toy bins from the shed to switch out with two from Carter's room. I always make sure to keep any of his favorites in the house.. and I finally got everything all organized and arranged this morning. All of the little "sets" put together, everything bagged up in ziplocks that needed to be, you know the drill. Samuel decided it was feeding time before I could put the lids on the bins and carry them to the shed and I, of course, never got around to that part later in the day. So, I walk in to say something to the kids this evening about supper almost being ready to discover they had almost COMPLETELY covered Carter's room in toys. I swear smoke was possibly visibly coming out of my ears. All of my hard work... gone! They NEVER make messes like that. I told them they couldn't leave that room until it was TOTALLY cleaned up. (which means I will have to do all of my sorting and organizing AGAIN later.. but the lesson had to be learned for them) It took them about 45 minutes and, as shocking as it is, had to seriously talk myself out of spanking both of them because I was so fed up with the mouthing about it. (especially madison) The rest of the evening has been spent shooing them back to the bedrooms because they have seemingly lost the ability to speak in a normal voice and instead think yelling and screaming and running crazy are the appropriate things to do in the living room as Sam TRIES to finally take a nap in the swing.. in the living room. AAARRRGGGHH! It makes me feel like a really crummy mother to feel this way about my kids. I hate not liking them, but right now I'd rather be almost anywhere else than in this house alone with them! I know it being the weekend is making me stressed... I'm basically solo on the parenting all weekend long.. Friday-Monday night. Clayton is working or sleeping or getting ready for work the rest of the time... ugh... fun fun! Well, to make the night complete my sweet little man is about to start wailing from the swing, because my two (usually sweet) bigger kids have run in here AGAIN and woken him up. Oh man... let the battle rage on! (where's Supper Nanny when you need her?)

**Edited to add...
Little Samuel must have known that mommy needed some serious calm down time. I got Madison and Carter off to bed finally (feeling like my head might actually start spin around) and Samuel started fussing. I figured he was hungry so I picked him up and started walking to our favorite nursing chair. He usually lifts his head up now and roots around or at least pushes away to look around... but this time he just layed his sweet head down on my chest. I sat down and expected him to get upset that I wasn't offering up the goods... but he just kept laying there for the longest time! It was wonderful to just sit in silence and hold him like that... so my night did end on a good note... so you can all stop feeling sorry for me. ;) (thanks for the sympathy though... sometimes I need it lol)