Baby's first portrait

Here is our baby! We had our first doctor's visit today and it went great! I was a nervous wreck.. thankfully they got us in quickly and the very first thing we did was get an ultrasound. I realize this picture is hard to make out, but the actual ultrasound was AMAZING! The baby was wiggling a little and even moved it's arms around! I cried during the whole thing. I couldn't stop! Even once it was over if I'd look at our pictures that we got I'd start tearing up again. I feel like the most blessed person on earth. I'm 9 weeks and 1 day, and the baby measured exactly 9 weeks and 1 day.. it really doesn't get any better than that! My official due date is now June 28.. though with a scheduled csection baby will be born about a week before that. To help those of you unfamiliar with ultrasound pictures, the baby is laying on its back, looking up at us when the picture was snapped so you're seeeing the baby's face and belly, face up. The head is on the left, right below the head you can sort of see the two small spots that are actually the arms.. then the body, and the legs are the other two small spots. :) Madison was so excited when we showed her the pictures... she is thrilled about this baby. Clayton was trying to get me to talk about baby names on the drive home.. but I was too excited about our appt to even concentrate on that. lol It seems too early to talk names, which is strange because I was thinking up names for madison and carter basically from the day we found out we were pg! I guess that the ones I really like I know Clayton doesn't really want... so I'm actually going to have to go searching for names this time! I'm too tired for that right now. lol I hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving!! Eat lots of turkey for me, just in case I'm not able to. :)

Christmas!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? we don't "do" Santa.. but we wrap or bag most gifts.. except the one that we know the kids will like best.. I love seeing them run into the living room and set eyes on that gift they've been wanting first thing!

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Never have.. but maybe I will this year!

5. When do you put your decorations up? we've been saying we were going to put them up for a week! At this rate who knows! lol Typically the day after Thanksgiving

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? broccoli/rice casserole

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Sneaking around the house with my brother finding the presents that were hidden waiting to be wrapped.. what fun!

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I think I was 5 or 6... I asked my stepmom if he was real and she said no.. I was crushed b/c I really believed. I kept asking her if God was real or a story too... I was PO'd that I had been lied to about it and never intended to tell my kids that Santa was real.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? we open them all December since we have so many sets of family to visit.. but here at the house we open on Christmas morning.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? White lights, gold, silver, and white ornaments, and some of our family decorations. Angel at the top
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it.. but we never get any lol
12. Can you ice skate? Yep... love it!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? A Baby Alive I wanted for a really long time when I was little!

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? seeing family and spoiling the kids
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? 4 layer delight (sort of like chocolate pie.. only better)

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? it would have to be decorating the tree

17. What tops your tree? angel

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? giving

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? What Child is This
20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? Yum!

I tag K.T. and Brandy to do this!

Snickerdoodles and Merry Berry

We had another "Settlers" party last night and it was a great time. Lots of good food, which I was actually able to eat and hold down, and just a ton of laughs and fun. Taylor walked away "Lord of Catan" (did you know that's what it says? Not "King") and I'm sure in a few days Clayton will be dying to play again.. he can't stand to be beaten at anything, don't let him tell you otherwise.

I think we're going to put our Christmas stuff up tonight. Clayton and the kids are begging to do it, even though traditionally we always do it the day AFTER Thanksgiving, I figure what they hey, let's do it early! I just hope I can keep my boy child out of the tree and other pretties that will be all around the house. We usually hang candy canes all over the tree, but I'm not sure that will be such a grand idea right now. Maybe later on.. like the last week the tree will be up! I can't believe it's almost 2007! Where does time go?

Making it!

Sorry for not posting lately. Clayton left Thursday to go to Iowa on a hunting trip and he's just now going to get home today. (Tuesday) Handling the kids totally alone, on top of throwing up constantly has taken its toll on me. I'm just sick and tired and tired of being sick and tired. lol I think when he gets home and takes up his normal 'jobs' I'll feel a ton better. Hats off to single mothers.. though I feel like a single mom a lot of the time... when Clayton's actually totally gone like this I realize how much he really does do around here!

So, an update on me. I'm 8 weeks along TODAY and though I'm pretty sick it's still nothing that I feel I can complain about. I guess once you've been in the depths of morning sickness hell before, the 'normal' morning sickness just isn't a big deal to you. I'm anxiously awaiting my Dr's appt next week. It can't get here fast enough. I have butterflies in my stomach thinking about it.. I'm a nervous wreck. I just pray I get a great ultrasound that shows a perfect healthy baby. I also hope it makes this baby real to me. I still am just feeling numb to all of this. I figured by this point it'd have sunk in but it hasn't. When anyone asks me about being pregnant I almost forget that I am! I'm just ready to start showing and feel the baby move and all of that stuff. It'll be a while before any of that happens though!

Well, I officially became "that" mother. I sent an email to Madison's teacher about the little (okay.. he's huge) boy that sits across the table from her in class. He's a big bully and I'd had enough of it. He was tearing up Madison's things, physically hurting her, and calling her a "crybaby" if she'd get upset about it. So I asked the teacher (in a very nicely written way by the way) if she would please move one of them to a different table because madison was terrified of this child and was crying every morning not wanting to go to school because of him. The very next day the teacher moved him! Now a sweet little girl sits across from Madison. :) Thumbs up for a quick action taken on the teacher's part! I don't know why I hesitated to write the letter... I guess i didn't want to step on the teacher's toes by making suggestions about how she runs her classroom, but enough is enough. Momma Bear eventually has to come out and not worry about anything other than her child!

Pickles anyone?

This is a 3-D ultrasound image of a baby at 7 weeks.. that's how far along I am now and I find it incredibly cool to imagine that's what my baby looks like. Isn't it amazing how quickly babies grow?! I heard on Discovery Health that if a fetus grew as quickly the entire 9 months as it grows in the first 9 weeks, it would be as large as THE SUN at birth! Talk about a growth spurt! I'm feeling pretty well for the most part. I do have all day sickness.. but nothing horrible to be honest. I haven't thrown up in two days, even though I tried b/c I felt awful and hoped it would make me feel better! It's just a bit funny to me that I couldn't STOP throwing up with Carter, and I can't even make myself this time! Another funny thing, to me, is that I actually have found that eating a dill pickle helps me feel better. Okay.. does that not sound like something that would send you over if you were already feeling sick? Don't ask what made me think that would work... but I just wanted one the other day and it did the trick! This is the first time that I've been pregnant that I've wanted to eat pickles... God is ending our family on a good and semi funny note.

Thanks to everyone who came over and played with us Sunday! Clayton is ever so grateful that he got to play Settlers.. and that he held his crown once again. Someone better beat him soon before he stars thinking he really is the King of Sadan. (or is it Knights of Iran? lol) Inside joke.. I realize it makes no sense to most of you! Hope we can get together again soon! And I am ever so thankful to LeeAnn for brining me salad! I swear, I have never enjoyed a salad so much in my life! lol I'm never going to gain any weight if I keep these kinds of cravings up!

There's that reassurance!

I knew it would show up eventually! Almost right on 'textbook' time! I'll be 6 weeks tomorrow.. and I've felt like crap ALL DAY! yahoo! lol I think I'll be spending a lot of time with the toilet in the next few months... it's only a matter of time before it progresses to that! lol Kristy.. if you read this.. go ahead and let me know those remedies you said you know! I'd really like to avoid a) taking the meds again and b) being in the hospital! Hook a sista up! Good news is all of my clothes still fit the same.. and so hopefully I can make it another few weeks before I have to bust out my stretchy, almost maternity, pants! We'll see!

Halloween again!

How is it time for Halloween again? These are the costumes the kids have chosen for themselves. Madison is a fairy princess and Carter is an Incredible. (his favorite movie!) I think it's going to be so much fun trick-or-treating this year... both of the kids are old enough to really enjoy it now. Speaking of, any word yet on what night we'll actually be going house to house? It's sure to be a lot of fun and I'm sure to be able to find any kind of candy I want to satisfy any cravings I might suddenly get in the kids pumpkin buckets! (you know you eat your children's candy too... don't act like it's just me!)

A quick update on me. I'm 5ish weeks along now.. and besides being extremely tired I feel fine. I keep waiting to wake up feeling sick any day now.. and sometimes I almost wish I would be sick at least now and again for some reassurance. It worries me that I haven't been sick really yet. Next week I'll probably be posting that I'm so sick I can no longer leave the house.. so I better be careful what I wish for! I'm just ready to get past this first trimester.. it's so very scary being early pregnant. My first doctor's appt seems like an eternity away.. I'll be 9 weeks when I go. Should make for a great ultrasound then though! Anyway.. just wanted to update anyone who was curious! I'll let you know if my lack of illness changes. ;)

Party update!

Well, the Parkers ended up not being able to make it to the party... but we partied anyway! To say we had fun is a huge understatement! We all hung out, ate, and played games from 11am until 10pm!! yes.. you read that right! My stomach is sore from laughing so hard. Thanks everyone for showing up even though the Parkers couldn't come. It was really so much fun! We'll have to all do it again sometime soon. :)

Any men that are up to driving out for a game of "settlers" please call my husband... he is addicted to it after playing it just once! Taylor, you better bring some friends over soon to do that again! :) Clayton's already itching to beat you all another time I think. Just kidding... kinda.

I'M PREGNANT!

Yes... you read that correctly! I... finally.. am pregnant! I took a test this morning, not thinking it would be positive, because they never are... and it was! It came up almost immediatley!! I am in shock.. I am thrilled, and I don't think I could thank God anymore than I already have so far today! I'm a nervous wreck... I find myself doubting the test now. I plan to go buy more and retest.. if I see several positive tests it might seem more real. Thank you God.. you heard me, you helped me! Now just stay here with me! Clayton is away in Little Rock all week for training so I had to tell him over the phone. He is shocked and happy too. He told me to not to walking this morning, I don't need to move around at all, to come home and sit down. He's so silly... but it's sweet that he's already so concerned. Thank you for all of your prayers.. keep them coming! Now, just pray for a healthy mom and baby!!! I cannot believe this... I really can't!

Just a reminder.. Saturday will be party time at our house. THe Parkers will be here around 11am, we plan to grill out for lunch around 12 or 1, and they are just going to hang out all day/night so if you get a moment to stop by at ANYTIME of the day or evening please do. I know that they'd love to see as many friends as possible while they're here. If you'd like to bring something to help with lunch let me know and I'll give you an idea of what we need. :)

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. We've been running crazy! Race for the Cure was great! So glad I was able to go... it is so hard not to break down and cry through the entire thing though... seeing all of the pink survivor hats, and one lady I was walking behind, who was at oldest 28, had her two very young children with her. Their shirts said, "In celebration of my MOM!" and she had the survivor outfit on.. I cannot imagine the fear that family must have felt and the joy that they feel now!

I think I deserve a big hooray for not mentioning wanting to be pg at all in quite a while.. both on the blog and in real life. :) I say that as a precursor to how I'm feeling today which is insane! I just want the next week to hurry up and go by. We'll be starting our 12th month if we didn't get it this time. That's such a hard blow. To be honest, I'm not sure that we'll continue with this much longer. I'm due for a break... it's too hard! Who knows what the future will bring... but as of today, I'm just really exhausted with all of this.

We have a soccer game tonight.. I think the weather is supposed to be nice so that will be good. Last week it had gotten hot again and I was not enjoying the games that much I must say!

Oh, I forgot to say that we all did go eat lunch with madison Friday and had a great time! And, I must say, that I feel a lot better about lunch time. She was more than finished eating by the time they called them out, and I didn't feel it was too stressful like I had imagined. She seemed fine with all of it too.. and you could tell we had really made her day. She made mine too. :)

Party day set

Okay, the "Parker Party" is set for Saturday the 21st. It works with most ppls schedules and is best for the Parkers. We're planning on starting the big event around 1pm... and it will go until the last person leaves. :) For food, we talked it over and it's probably going to just be hamburgers and hotdogs and such.. easy food for a relaxing day! We're thinking of renting one of those jump castles... we have to call and see how much they cost, but if any of you with kids would like to contribute to our jump castle fund, let me know! lol

I forgot to brag that Madison got chosen for ABC kid this week! We're going to eat with her Friday... she'll be so excited! We're also going to stay at my mom's house Friday night because my mom, sister, and I are all walking in Race 4 the Cure Saturday morning.. it's so much fun and such a moving experience.. I look forward to it every year!

Party at our house!

So, since the Parkers moved off I've promised them that when Clayton's schedule allowed for it, we would host a going away party for them. Yes, it's late lol but this month we can finally do it! It's either going to be Friday, October 20 or Saturday, October 21. What's best for everyone? Kids are all welcome! The plan right now is just to have a big potluck. Clayton and I can buy the meat, and everyone can bring a dish to share. It'll be an indoor/outdoor event depending upon what floats your boat. We can do a bonfire and such as well. So, if you are missing the parkers and want a chance to catch up, you're invited!! I'll let you know the official date soon, after I get every one's input. (Parkers' input required as well!)

We had such a great night last night. Madison had a soccer game, and she loves it! She seems to know what she's supposed to be doing, but she seems to get so caught up in just running she forgets to chase the ball! lol Hilarious stuff! Afterwards we went to Taylor and LeeAnn's house and had a really great time! (and an oh so healthy supper.. it was sooo yummy!) Next time at our place so Carter can run free, okay? lol We've got another soccer game tonight too, and I get to go to parent group after that! Oh how I love my parents' group! It is what kept me going when Clayton was gone to troop school. I was so so so lonely before I joined up with them. (that's also where I met Suzanne and Matt)

On a sad note, what is up with these school shootings?! I think I heard on the news that there have been 17 since this school year started!!? What is wrong with people and what should be done about this? Are there any answers? You shouldn't have to be afraid to send your child to school... this is AMERICA!!

The joys of Carter

As much stress as my two year old little man can cause me, he also brings me so much joy. I wasn't sure what it would be like raising a little boy. I wasn't sure I was up for that challenge, or that I would even enjoy it. Imagine my surprise when each day this little man keeps me smiling and laughing and enjoying 'most' of my time with him.

Today I was doing laundry, and got to the white clothes. I was sorting socks and couldn't help but laugh at Carter's. Most of his have some sort of dull muddy stain on them, no amount of bleach can remove those stains. Two seperate pairs had those sticky briar things all in them... I spent a good amount of time picking those off. Madison's socks are all bright white and look brand new... but she doesn't enjoy rolling in the mud and going off of the worn path in the woods into the vines and briars like her baby brother does. Everything to Carter is an adventure. If there is a rock, he wants to pick it up and throw it at something, or someone. If there is a hill, he must climb it. If there is a small fallen tree, he must jump over it. It it's a larger fallen tree, he must climb up on it and then jump off of it. There is no greater delight in his life right now than having a nice stick to dig with or hit things with. He even eats like I knew a boy would. (no offense guys!) Madison was always such a slow and clean eater. Even as a baby! Carter does know how to eat with a spoon, but gets frustrated quickly and drops it to dig in with his hands. (as pictured) He has no concern about the mess all about him, or on him. I used to think these things were hard to deal with... but now I've learned to embrace them as part of having Carter. These silly things that I know one day will be in the past and I will miss them. One day he won't want to have an adventure through the woods with Mommy. One day he won't think playing at the park with all of the sticks we find together is fun. I fear the day that he decides sitting in Mommy's lap for a 20 minute cuddle session is "sissy stuff." I know it will come. So here's to enjoying the day! Whatever 'day' you're having... it will end and we'll never ever get this one day back again. A lot of this post comes from the fact that Clayton has had to work 3 fatality wrecks in one week's time. They were alive one minute, dead the next. In the blink of an eye.. their life on earth came to an end, and their friends and families' lives were forever changed. It really is true that old saying... "life's too short.."

First soccer game

We had our first soccer game last night and it was a blast! Madison even scored a goal and blocked another.. I'm so proud! She giggled the entire time she was there.. I definitely think we've found her sport! I just love our team... and the coaches are just wonderful! Honestly I couldn't ask for anything better.

Playgroup this morning was fun, but small! Just Leslie and me.. what's up with the playgroup peeps?! Do we need to change the day or something? I'm missing our get togethers! The good news is, Carter only hit Tyler once, and only threw something at him once... and he shared his drink with him after a while and even sat beside him without pushing him over! What an improvement! lol And, today, he dumped some dry cereal on the floor (our CONSTANT battle right now) and I sighed, knowing that a huge fight was about to take place as i made him pick up the mess. However, to my SHOCK, the first time I asked him to pick them up, HE DID! I hugged and kissed him and kept telling him how great he was.. I hope he will keep it up. It seems we're starting to turn the 'negative phase' corner... into a 'positive phase' soon! Thank goodness because I was about to resort to shock therapy or something. ;)

Madison has another soccer game tonight at 5:30 (anyone that gets bored at home.. come on out lol) and after that I'm supposed to go to curriculum night at the school.. sounds insanely fun. :P I really don't wanna go.. and am curious as to how important of an event it is. Clayton, on a fluke, will be home tonight, I don't want to miss him! We'll see what happens... I keep wondering if anyone would notice if I didn't show up. *shame shame*

Not for the weak..

This parenting stuff is for the strong only. At least the patient and the willing to clean up gross things... several times each day. I have quickly been reminded why it's easier to just change diapers than have a newly potty trained toddler. Carter is doing fantastic on the potty training issue... no accidents at all.. all potty when we're home. (still no luck really when we're outside or somewhere else.. but no biggie) So, what's the problem? Well, the potty seat that fits over the regular toilet lid.. that is the problem. Somehow, when you pick it up, there is always pee everywhere underneath it.. great hu? I have two completely different potty seats, they both do this. It even happened when madison would use them.. what's up with that?! So, I spend many of minutes in the bathroom spraying and cleaning our toilet... oh how it shines now! I also could tell a story of how I had to use our big grill tongs the other day to dig almost an entire roll, of unrolled, toilet paper out of the potty, that an unnamed 2 year old had repeatedly tried to flush down. (after hearing the 3rd flush in a row I knew something was up) Ah yes... adventures in potty training. These are the stories veteran parents share with each other, laughing, and halfway happy, and halfway sad that they're over. Even in the midst of all of it I find it pretty comical. I always wonder "what is he thinking when he does something like this? What thought process came up with this one?" I'm just glad he's been able to make it to the potty each time. I remember Madison would run to the bathroom, and call me, and I'd find a puddle right in front of the toilet... she 'almost' made it. So similar to having a puppy... they chew everything, they pee on everything, they stay under your feet so you're stepping on them all of the time... God knew what he was doing when he made them so darn cute! (both puppies and children)

The wait is over

A few hours after I left the dr's office getting my blood taken, my evil friend showed up.... 3 days early. Such is life I guess! I was pretty upset for a bit yesterday but quickly picked myself up and moved on. At least now I won't be sitting on top of the phone all day anxiously awaiting the phone call from the Dr! :) I don't care if they call at all! lol I don't plan on doing the medicine again this month, even though they worked beautifully last month, just because I want to remain as calm as I am right now for the rest of the month. Give myself a break. I need it! lol Life is good, God is good, and now I won't have to battle morning sickness as Madison's soccer games. ;)

Did anyone go to the parade yesterday? Madison was riding on the dance float.. she loved it! I was so proud. :) It really makes me feel like a real mommy when I see her do things like that.... wave from me from the float yelling "Mommy, Daddy! Hey!! Mommy, Daddy!!"

Let the waiting begin!

So I got my blood taken today.. should know the results sometime tomorrow.. so we wait. I have to say, THANK YOU for all of the wonderful support you all have given to me over the past several months since I've been blogging. I'm sure it gets boring reading so much about this junk, but you guys keep sending prayers and hugs my way anyway. It really does mean a lot! I'm not someone that likes to keep things bottled up and very private, I always feel better when I talk about whatever is troubling me. And speaking of feeling better, I do. It hit me the other day... I have NO IDEA why, but I was driving home and felt an overwhelming joy. I was totally consumed with thoughts of my kids, my husband, our house, our life, my friends.. just everything that is so good in my life. God is taking great care of me and it's like I just noticed it all at once. I decided then and there that no matter what, I was going to be joyful. Sure I'll be sad if the result comes back negative tomorrow.. but I REFUSE to let it steal my joy. Just this morning, at playgroup, I barely thought about being pg at all, even though I left from there and went straight to the Dr's office for the blood draw! I feel like God is finally answering one prayer I keep praying, "If I'm not going to be pregnant, please let me not care!" lol I feel like, at least for right now, I will be fine. There is so much good in life, it's a shame to let one thing keep you dragged down so much. It seemed totally out of my control, the way I felt. But it isn't! It's a choice to be in the mood you're in.. no matter what's going on.

Speaking of playgroup, we had a great time this morning.. okay, I did anyway. It was just Brandy, Leslie, and me and our kids.. but I really enjoyed it. Great company and great kids! If it would've been a bit less wet it would've been even better.. but, ah, who cares. :) Carter found great joy in hitting trees and the ground with a fantastic stick he found.. at one point he found and opening in the fence and was in the woods! I had to go retreive him... that's our fault, we've been tracking through our woods a ton lately! So thanks for the fun time gals!

Who's going to the parade today? Madison is in it! She'll be riding with Kim's Dance Factory... I can't wait! She's sooo excited! :)

Pregnant, or medicine?

That is the question. So, the injection I got (called Profasi) has HCG in it.. the stuff that turns a pregnancy test positive. So, obviously, the medicine will turn a test positive if taken too soon after it's administered. To see how long it would take for it to get out of my system, I started taking home tests at 6 days past the shot. That day I got a light but definite positive result. Obviously the meds were still there. So I waited and retested at 9 days past the shot and got a blotchy, dark, shadowy line in the test window.. I'll stretch it and call it a faint positive. I figured if I waited two more days and retested I'd get a true negative result. That was today. Instead I got a faint positive. It was a darker line, visible but not very, but I was surprised as heck to see it. So, now the question remains.. remaining medicine doing this.. or early pregnancy. I have no way to know right now. I plan to retest Monday.. SURELY if I'm not pg I'll get a true negative result by then... I have a blood test Tuesday. I hate those.. the results are so final! lol Pray for my sanity! This is a bit hard to wrestle with in my mind.

TGIF!

I am so happy it's Friday! And, I'm in a wonderful mood tonight because Madison had a really really good day at school today and the teachers were all super nice at pickup time this afternoon, I didn't feel rushed for once! (i wonder if ppl have been complaining?) I have chocolate chip cookie dough in the fridge just waiting to be baked... and Leslie and Tyler are going to come by and hang out and pig out with us! What could be better?

Have I mentioned our potty training journey lately? It's actually going great! At home, he's 100% trained. (well, not counting nap and bedtime) However, he has to be bare bottomed for this to be true. Even in underwear, he'll pee in them.. and NOT CARE that he's soaking wet. ??? I remember Madison flipping out the first (and almost only) time she wet herself in panties. My little man couldn't care less though! So, I'll take what I can get! I haven't changed a dirty diaper in over a week, and one pack of diapers is lasting a very very long time now. I'm really proud of him. Everyone has told me it takes boys forever to potty train, but so far so good here!

So will anyone be coming to Tuesday playgroup next week? I hope it's a nice cool morning and we can all get together! I really miss our girltalk!

new blog thing

I haven't done one of these in a while and just the title of this one made me laugh for some reason. lol

You May Be a Bit Obsessive Compulsive...

Meticulous and detailed oriented, you have some irrational obsessions. Maybe it's your super neat closet or washing your hands a gazillion times. You probably know it's weird, but you just can't stop thinking about it. In fact, the more you think about your quirks, the more you have to do them.

What Personality Disorder Are You?