16 and Pregnant

Some of you have probably seen this intriguing new show on MTV, 16 and Pregnant. The name tells it all. The show is all about teen couples (or at least the girls) that find themselves young and expecting and the trials they go through in deciding, "what's next?"

Today I finally got to watch an episode I had missed last week. It featured two really stand-up teens that decided adoption was the best choice for their baby girl. Watching them struggle with their decision and decide to go through with giving their newborn to their chosen couple at the end was a huge mixture of heart-wrenching pain and joy. Pain for obvious reasons. The biological mom and dad had immense grief after their daughter was born and they physically handed her to the adoptive parents. I cried with them; I cried for them. My heart broke into a million pieces putting myself into those shoes.

Joy came, as well. Joy for the adoptive parents. They had been trying for their own children for years with no success and now they were being given the most amazing gift they could ever receive. To see them snuggle that baby girl and look at her with such amazement... truly wonderful!

Joy also for another reason. Here were these two "young kids" dealing with a huge adult decision. They were both mature enough to see that they could not offer their daughter the life they so much wanted her to have. With unstable families on both sides, they knew they had little resources to draw from if they were to keep her. Though it so obviously broke them inside to let her go - it made my heart fill up to see them do such a selfless act in order to provide for their child in the best way they knew how.

The last reason I loved this episode is because I pray it brings HOPE. Hope to a young girl that finds herself pregnant and is weighing all of her options. Hope that seeing this couple nurture this baby while she was inside of her mother and then continue nurturing her by giving her to a loving home will help another teen mom choose life and adoption. Hope that the choice of adoption will more often be spoken of and considered by those unready to raise a child.

Teen pregnancy is such a platform issue for me being a teen mother once myself. Now that my own children are getting older and "easier" I am eager to begin volunteering at our new Hope Resource Crisis Pregnancy Center. I pray that God uses me up on this issue! I would love to bring hope to those with no hope, to be an example of how you can really make it work, and how it doesn't have to ruin your life. Just the opposite! I know my story will not be every teen mom's story, or possibility, but so many could do it if given the proper support. Without the help of our family and friends, I can't imagine how much harder it would have been having a baby so young. Just having someone to stop by and say,"Hey, you guys are doing a great job!" meant everything in those days. Having someone believe in us, trust us, and see past our ages to the fact that we loved our daughter more than anything! If God puts me in a position to do that for even ONE teen mom (or dad)... I would be forever grateful.

When I Grow Up...

I love hearing the kids talk about what they want to be when they grow up. It's so fun to see their heads spinning with all of the possibilities just waiting for them! I love how their desired careers match up perfectly with their personalities.

Madison is so much like me! She loves animals and has a heart set on rescue. Her goal in life, as of this year, is to be a cat trainer. Yes... she is convinced that she and I can open our own dog and cat training "store" one day. I'll handle the dogs, she'll take over the cats. Sweet, right? She also wants to be a zoo keeper and work with the elephants. She has loved elephants since she was just a small toddler. Occasionally she'll mention that she might like to be a teacher, and a great teacher she would be!

Carter is my dreamer child. He has the wildest imagination and I love it! His career choices vary wildly from astronaut to chef. Of course, he also wants to be a State Trooper like his daddy. His go-with-the-flow personality make it tough for him to settle for any one option or even narrow it down to any one category. He definitely thinks it would be a blast to live in space, except for the "scary aliens."

Samuel is a bit too young to express his desires for the future... but I can't wait to hear what they are!

I can't help but be curious as to what parents think their kids will grow up to do. I know that my parents thought I'd be:

a) a teacher

b) a veterinarian

c) a writer

And, amazingly, I do some sort of variation of all three of these things! I am our church's children's coordinator (meaning I put together curriculum and lesson plans for 2nd grade and down, teach classes, and handle fun stuff, too!); I do dog rescue and deal a lot with animals with the dog training/boarding; and I do freelance writing! (not to mention blogging and such.. all for free for your viewing pleasure. Don't you feel lucky?!) Quite accurate, right?!

Looking at my kids today, this is what I can see for their futures:

Madison - I can really see her starting some cool cat trend. She LOVES cats like I love dogs. I can see her starting the first in town "cat boarding" facility and, who knows, maybe she'll master cat training, as well! I also see her being artsy, either with drawing or writing. She's quite gifted in this area and I hope that she can turn her true passion into something profitable as she grows.

Carter - Who knows! This boy is so silly and all over the place! His laid-back personality would make him a great people person. I can see him being just like his daddy.. though I pray, selfishly, that a career as a cop is not what his dreams are made of. This, however, would probably be right up his alley. He is the kind of kid that needs things to change up regularly. I think as an adult, he'll be the same. Routine is not what makes him thrive. His career, to make him happy, will likely need to be face-paced and different each day.

Samuel - Though he is only two, his personality is quite evident. Charming, convincing, and cool and collected. (unless Mommy says no to his candy requests.) My guess is he'll be a serious people person, as babies of the family typically are. He'll probably make one killer public relations director of a major company one day, or even make a fantastic lawyer. (for the prosecution.. mind you.) He's very aware of everything that's going on, and is typically able to show great self-control and do things above his age level. (thanks to big brother and sister.) We'll just have to wait and see how the years form this kid!

It is so fun to watch how the children change year after year, yet remain amazingly the same. Each of them have the same personality today that they had as an infant. Their ability to express it has just grown! Time will tell what the future holds for each of them.

What Are Daddy's Good For?

Learning to Hit a Ball...

Building race tracks...

Rhino Riding...

Learning How to Hold a Fish by the Mouth...

...and How to Take a Fish Apart, Piece by Piece...

Daddy's are Good for all things Mommies are not.

at least this mommy...

God Bless Daddies!

Getting Out of Debt Part 2

I posted this a little over a month ago, and boy that has been a tough month! I think I've entered the "I'm sick of this and I want to go shopping" phase of getting out of debt. Hmmph. This is hard.

This week, for example, Clayton has training in Little Rock so the kids and I decided to come up to see him. While he's in class all day, the kids and I are at my mom's... so close to Little Rock. So close to shopping, eating out, fun-fun-fun! Thankfully, Nana has a pretty fun house so we're busy here.. but I could really have a good time at Park Plaza right now...

Then, I remind myself of the land I want, the house I want, and all that jazz. Not gonna get it spending money on eating out and new clothes. (working on figuring out a method of shopping that somehow pays off debt...)

Clayton did take me out on the town last night with some good friends and we had a blast. I think it was what we both needed! It's kind of like when someone goes on an insane crash diet, eats way too little and never even has a taste of the junk food they really want, then they go nuts eating 3 times what they normally would have and gain back all of the weight they just lost. I figure as long as we just keep "tasting" spending money and avoid going nuts with it, we'll be able to keep this pace of paying off debt.

It's slow but steady. Every now and then I'll have an exceptionally good month with work and we'll be able to put more towards it, and boy that feels great! Typically, we just keep chopping away at it and hope that we'll get to our "we can look at houses now" goal sooner than later. Patience is a virtue that I tend to lack in this area. If there is anything that God can use to help us learn trust, patience, and contentment, it's paying off debt!!

Room Re-Do Part 2

My bestest friend Lee Ann came over today to help me tackle painting Madison's room! Thank God for good friends because, with Clayton away all week, I could have never done this job on my own! (without killing all of my children and losing my mind, that is.)

So, here are some pictures! The blue painters tape is still up, but the brown paint we chose, to match the pink and brown bedding that's being shipped to us, is all finished! I LOVE it and madison does too! I still need to paint Madison's closet doors white (they're primed and ready at least) and decorations are yet to be found - but this huge job is done! Scroll down a few post to remember what it looked like just a few days ago, vs. today! More pictures to come once it is totally finished.

Happily Ever After

In a few months Clayton and I will be celebrating our 9th anniversary - it's amazing how quickly the years have flown by. He has been my sweetheart since I was 14, and it's been quite an adventure!

Sometimes I think back to those fun and free dating years. When the long distance separating us meant that we anxiously awaited phone calls, emails, and letters in the mail. It broke my heart each Sunday night to kiss him goodbye, as we each drove to our separate destinations. Knowing it would be a whopping 5 days until I could see him again got more difficult as the dating years went by. By the time I was 16, I just did not feel like me unless I was with him. He had my heart.

Fast forward to today. 8.5 years of marriage, three kids, one fish, one cat, and numerous dogs later... life sure has a way of changing things!

Many years ago, I could never understand how a couple could let their children take over their lives. Live for their kids first, and their relationship second. Then, we had more children. Kids simply need a lot, especially the little kind. Me being me... no matter how difficult it was at times, I still loved (and love) almost every bit of it. From the crying infant stage all the way to the 8yr old stage I've reached today - there's yet to be an age that I haven't been completely joyful about. (could do without the 2 and 3 year old tantrums, though...) Being that I'm "one of those women" that truly thrives on the chaos of kids, it's no surprise that I'd simply have a house more full of them if I could. My hubby.. not so much.

Then you hit a crossroads. I want more "one day" and he's done. Wow.. what a tough spot to be in. Neither can help how they feel, neither wants to budge in those feelings. Who wins this battle?

I spent much time in grief over this issue.. my life's desire is to be a mom of MANY children. Since I was a young girl I dreamed of having 4, 5, 6 kids. Shockingly, that dream never went away, even once life's realities hit. (and even when I realized that having a baby does "that" to your body... ugh..) I admit I spent a bit of time feeling angry that I was being asked to give this up for the happiness of my spouse. "Aren't I entitled to my life's desires?!"

Then, I got my head and heart where it should be.. on my knees before my God. I begged, at first, "Please change Clayton!" for this is what God is sadly used to me screaming when I first begin to pray. Then, as the weeks passed, and the conversations were had, and the prayers were continued, I felt God telling me to just "let go." I stumbled upon some old pictures of us when we were dating. I remembered why it was I always wanted to spend my life with this man. Because I love him. I love him. I didn't long to have him as my life's partner because of what he could give to me (kids, money, houses, clothes, happiness...) I longed for him because.. I just did.

Knowing that my loving husband would agree to more children to keep me 'happy' pushed me more to do what was right for our marriage. What was right for him and therefore ultimately right for our family. I "let go." God has it, God has us, God has me and he knows my heart. I realized that a very selfish part of me would take him up on having more kids... but the rest of me realized that it could be life changing in a very horrible way. In a way that I might be putting a happy marriage on the line for a life's dream... and no dream is worth our marriage.

Now, the kids are growing older each day. They are becoming both harder and easier all at the same time. (I think my parents warned me that would happen..) The day in which we can leave them with the grandparents to take a week long trip to "wherever" is closer and closer. More time for us is right around the corner, and has already been started around a year ago. Our one night away trip right now will soon become two, then more. I can really get excited about "dating" my husband again! This is what he longs for. How amazing.. my husband simply wants more of me for him. I am a very lucky woman in so many ways. So very blessed, even though it took me many weeks to see it through my sadness. I am so blessed that God has given me peace and that we can continue to build our marriage more and more and provide our children with an amazing, stable, and loving home.

I hesitated to post something so very personal, but I know I am not alone in such a huge marital decision. Perhaps another woman or man will find something in this post that they can relate to. Perhaps someone needed a gentle reminder of why they married their spouse... for them. In life, we just have to decide to create our own happy endings and our own "happily ever afters..." With Christ's help.. we can find joy in our lives in any situation! He is so great and so good.. he can fill the voids that you can never fill on your own. The voids that you think your spouse, your friends, or your family, (your kids), should fill... and then you can be free to just love! What an amazing gift!

Room Re-Do

This morning I got an insane urge to reorganize Madison's room. Her room has been EXACTLY the same since we bought our house 4 years ago. She's been begging to change her room, so I figured we'd at least toss out a lot of trash and old toys and move some furniture around. Mid-way through getting EVERYTHING out to sort, I figured I should really document this with photos!

Now, I must say that Madison's room is typically very clean. She's great about keeping everything put in its place. This disaster was totally ME. You know.. sometimes you have to create a mega mess in order to clean up!




This is the kids' 'game place.' They sit here and eat, drag every video game out, and play during down time. I HATE this space. This is a second closet in her room and we didn't need it for closet space, so we kinda just left it. We figured one day we'd turn it into something cute. I'm ready for that day!



Here is the 'sort of' after shot. I put her bed in the closet nuk and plan to paint the walls back there soon. First, Madison and I are going to pick out new bedding for her bed, then we'll paint the closet to match.

The new game area is where her bed was. My plan is to pick out bedding, and find a complementary color to the pink already on her walls to paint just under the chair rail. So, leave the top part pink, but change the bottom color. We'll see what we can come up with. I'm thinking some shade of green (not green-green... but a variety there of) to go with the pink. I'm seeing pink and green put together everywhere lately and am growing fond of it! With it being so in style, shouldn't be hard to find bedding to match! The all pink is sort of babyish... so my daughter has lately explained to me..

You should see how much stuff I took out of this room! We have a ton of really cute stuffed animals (like the big My Little Pony stuffed ponies) and other great toys that she NEVER played with. If anyone would like to take a peek, you are free to take ANYTHING YOU WANT for free! You, of course, could always give a donation to our dog rescue if you wanted, but no obligation. You'd be helping me just by taking it! I also have a lot of little girl books (even a potty training book for girls) that I'm giving away. Gotta get rid of some of this stuff. It's amazing what one child can accumulate in 8yrs of life!

It's fun to start a new project! Gotta get up the nerve to settle on a paint color and get that done. I'm NOT good with changes like that so wish me luck!

Afternoon naps...

...do a toddler good.

Defense Attorneys

This morning I watched a bit of a segment on the Today Show that featured a defense attorney for Casey Anthony - the woman accused of murdering her daughter Cailee Anthony. I only watched a small bit because I couldn't help but feel sick to my stomach over the whole ordeal. All of the evidence seems to point directly to that poor baby's mother killing her, and it's just too difficult to watch that stuff sometimes. Not to mention the sliminess of the person defending Casey.

Sometimes I wonder if the original point of defense attorneys has been lost in our Judicial System today. A defense attorney is there to make sure that you get a fair trial, that evidence is only allowed if it should be, that you have a fair shot at explaining your side. (guilty or not.)

Today, however, it seems that defense attorney's now believe it is there job to help criminals get dismissed from any wrong-doings they have done. They question law-enforcement officers in ways that are designed to trick juries, they batter and abuse children on the stand in front of their rapists and molesters in order to trip them up, they use tactics to try to make the case about anything other than the actual crime in question. Now, of course, not all defense attorneys are this way - I know that for sure, but isn't this accurate of what most of us have witnessed over the past several years?

I've seen, personally, criminals get off scott free from crimes they certainly committed due to defense attorney tactics. Where's the justice in that? How can they live with themselves knowing that they are putting drug dealers, drunk drivers, molesters, rapists, burglars, and killers right back onto the same streets in which you and I live?

Is this their job? What do you think?

Most Dreaded House Chores

a small portion of the yard I've never mowed

Typically, I greatly enjoy cleaning my house. I turn up some music, sing as though no one can hear me, and become just giddy knowing that soon I will sit back and look at my gleaming home. Ahh... nothing like getting project "clean house" accomplished.

There are tasks that I do without even thinking about them. They are constant jobs that I do each day and I neither love doing them nor dislike digging right in. You know the ones: dishes, laundry, cleaning the counters and floors... the things you just must do each day to keep things going.

Then, there are the handful of jobs that I put off, avoid, or simply refuse to do. We all have different jobs that make us feel this way - but they are there none-the-less. Here is my list.

Jobs I Put Off - will do them but put them off as long as possible

1. Dusting - what a project! Take everything off, clean it all, clean the shelves, put it all back. I could do four, more enjoyable, jobs in the same time this takes.

2. Cleaning the Bathtub - Back-breaking, Sciatic-Nerve-Aggravating, job! Love how it looks when finished but I put it off until I simply know I MUST do it.

3. Mopping - Necessary in this house once or twice a week.. but I just hate doing it. Love the smell of the house and the feel of the floor on my bare feet when it is finished, but do not enjoy this one in the least.

Jobs I Avoid - Jobs I pray Clayton will do before it becomes necessary for me to.

1. Cleaning the Microwave - Oh-My-Goodness. I have no idea why I hate this job so much... I just do. I think I have some weird fear that I'll end up getting zapped while using liquids in the microwave or something.. it just makes me uneasy. Not to mention the chili that my husband allowed to explode in there... why should I clean that mess, hu?

2. Organizing the Desk - Our desk is the catch-all of our house. One reason I avoid cleaning it is because Clayton has all kinds of super important State Police papers stacked a mile high on it. Another reason is because he also has papers dealing with other random things stacked a mile high on it. Simply put - it is much too overwhelming. Thankfully, Clayton cleans it if I ask him to or if it bothers him.

Jobs I Refuse to Do - not gonna do it - don't even ask.

1. Mow the Yard - Seriously? Ain't happening. That's a man's job if I ever saw one...

2. Clean Ceiling Fans - They're too high, I'm too short... again, man's work.

3. Take the Trash Out - **see reason #1**

I think that's about it. I typically take care of all of the inside work (minus cleaning ceiling fans and microwaves) and Clayton takes care of outside work. (including anything that is inside but ends up outside, such as the trash.) Any other jobs, (laundry, dishes, cleaning floors and counters, and general CONSTANT clean-up) I'm all over them! I can clean up a spilled bowl of cereal one second and move right to figuring out how to remove gum from my living room carpet the next. I'm a mom.. that's what I do!

What are some of the weird jobs that you hate to do or refuse to do around your homestead?

Getting Out of Debt

You cannot turn on the TV without hearing those four words today, can you? "Get Out of Debt!" Easier said than done, my friend!

Clayton and I have started on a long needed to be started journey called, "getting out of debt." Oh.. what fun! We have become Dave Ramsey psycho fans and are really excited about his "debt snowballing" plan. Simply put - you pay off your lowest balance of any debt you have first (be it credit card bills, car payment, medical bills, etc) and work your way up to the largest. In the process, you only pay the minimum payments on all other debt until you totally get rid of the cheapest balance.

So, we've been rolling quite well. We've managed to pay off three credit card bills in 2009 and are nicely kicking away at another. (why do we have so many? Bad choices a long time ago! Making up for it today, though!) We have finally gotten totally sick of giving credit card companies our money each month. When you really sit down and look at the checks you've written and exactly how much money you could be saving, investing, or giving INSTEAD of throwing them at never-ending credit card payments... well, it just becomes infuriating! So, we're determined to keep our money and do more Godly things with it in the future. Step one in doing that? Getting Out of Debt!

Paying off bills, in theory, is easy. You just do it. You buckle down, you don't do anything extra, you JUST pay off bills. No eating out, no vacations, no going and doing... just pay off that debt. As Dave Ramsey says, "Live like no one else so that you can live like no one else." Meaning, live like a poverty stricken person today so that you can live an amazing life later! Love that saying - hate applying it.

So far we've been doing pretty darn well. Some weeks we are super strict and get really excited about saving money - a few weeks later we're tired of saving money and decide to go out to eat or I decide to buy the kids all new summer shoes that, in honesty, they really don't "need." This is a balance I can live with, though.

We've decided to stay in our house, even though we could technically "afford" to move, in order to do what's right and pay off debt. That is so hard... some days I am totally content and feel amazingly blessed. The next day I'm annoyed that we only have one bathroom and I just want to be able to pee without someone banging on the door to "HURRY before I pee my pants!!" Today, thankfully, I am feeling very thankful that my house has a/c and floors and I'm not living in the Sudan Desert in a tent with dirt at my feet. It's all relative, isn't it?

One thing that really has me motivated lately to pay off debt is simply how much having debt hinders our ability to give what we'd like to. Dave Ramsey had a show and talked about his company's "profit sharing" lunches. They would pick a spot to eat, pray that God would send a needy Waiter to their table, and leave a $400 tip. They can give because they have no debt. They can give because they save money rather than buy all the things they want. I want to be that person. I want to be able to bless someone like that!

I used to only want money to have more money. To have more stuff and better stuff. To show the world, "Hey, look what we were able to buy!" Now.. I am so changed. I still love shopping, I still love going and doing, and my flesh cries for those things from time to time - and every now and then - I let myself do it. But, now, God is putting a burden on my heart to help those that need it. That he wants to be helped. That my family COULD help if only we were wiser with the money he has blessed us with. HIS MONEY. His money that we are simply here to manage. I refuse to be a poor manager of Christ's money anymore.

I may need to start a "money savers support group" in the next few months to make it through... any takers? ;) God is going to do amazing works if we just remain faithful to his plan.. I KNOW IT. He sure needs to help me stay faithful to it though, and stop temping me with all of the new summer fashions....

Having Children: Selfish or Selfless?

While doing research for an article I'm contemplating writing, I accidentally stumbled upon a blog written by and for child-free people. Not infertile people, mind you, but people that actively choose not to have kids. I did not spend too much time there,but left with my head spinning!

Much of what I read indicated that they believed all reasons for having children are purely selfish, and that women are constantly nagging and bothering men to have more babies to fill voids in themselves. They claim that MOST women would lie about using birth control or even cheat on their husbands in order to have more children. (yikes!)

In the thread that I happened upon, there was a lot of women bashing other women for wanting children - or wanting more children.

"It's so selfish! They don't even care if the men don't want more!"

"What if the man wanted more and the woman didn't? It would be considered outrageous for him to pressure her to have more so why isn't the reverse true?"

I am not sure how to feel about all of what I read.

I assume it is no surprise that I'm "one of those women" that would probably keep having kids until I physically couldn't. (having 3 csections already, my physical ability to have more kids is already in jeopardy - my husband is so happy about that!) However, does this make me a crazy, selfish person? According to this blog, YES!

I will say that I do think having kids is selfish. Sure, you typically give up a lot in order to have children, especially infants, but in the long run, I like having kids. I'm having them for how they make me feel, the experience in life I want, and to have the controlled chaos I need to thrive. I didn't have kids for what I wanted to give to them.. if I did, I'd have been happy to stop at one. I could give Madison 100% of me if she was the only child. Nope.. I like having babies, I like raising kids, I like the noise, the fun, and never being able to go through the "20 items or less" checkout line at Wal Mart. Print me out a "SELFISH" label and I'll stick it to my forehead.

My next question is, "So what?" So what if I want 10 kids? So what if I only want 3? Is one number more selfish than the next? Where does the REALLY selfish line become officially crossed?

Right now, with our 3, I feel like life is pretty darn easy most of the time. We're financially comfortable, emotionally secure, and our kids get a heck of a lot of face time with Mom and Dad. I can totally see things being very much the same if we added another kid to this bunch... so does that make me selfish? Does wanting more children when things are so good make you a crazy, selfish woman?

Or...

Does wanting more kids when things are already at peak insanity make you selfish? This was always my personal opinion.. having more kids when you cannot handle the ones you already have. (financially, emotionally, quality time, etc) Not that it's still anyone's business - unless it's a really abusive or neglectful situation of course.

The final question - "What's wrong with women?" Seriously... why does any woman care what another woman chooses to do? I have friends with no kids, with lots of kids, with adopted kids, with foster kids... lots of variety in my bunch and I LOVE IT. I have childless friends that are that way by choice - I let them do my partying for me. My friends with more kids than me - I call them for advice! Can't we all just get along? Do we really need blogs started just so we can bash women who want children? Do we need to bash those who remain childless by choice? Is there anything else on earth that brings up as much emotion as the topic of having kids?

Madison pictured with friend Gracie as they were waiting for their turn to practise during dance dress rehearsal - the one who started my addiction to having children.

Potty Time!

Despite my literal begging for my baby boy to slow down, take his time, and stay little forever, he's decided to plunge full steam ahead into his almost 2-ness. This morning he decided to rip off his diaper and declare "POTTY!" After thee successful trips to the bathroom (though one did involve him standing to pee in the trashcan beside the potty..) he was beyond proud of himself. With Mommy and big brother and sister cheering him on, and Daddy from the phone, what's not to be proud of?

He finally decided that he'd had enough and asked for a diaper, which I was happy to oblige. (Do you know how often a 23 month old pees in one hour?) Now I realize that he is "that" age. The age of the potty. Am I ready for this? A 2 yr old that decides he's ready to go potty can mean a lot of work for Mom and Dad! Not to mention the frustration that can come from a toddler refusing to wear a diaper or pullup when going out because he wants to wear his Blue's Clue's underwear. Hmm... what am I getting into here?

Soon I will be in search of some really good training paints. I'd like the plastic lined kind that are fairly absorbent cotton on the inside. Anyone have a brand that they like that can tell me where to get them? I don't like going straight to underwear... if you didn't know.. pee just goes right through those. I could use all the help I can get in avoiding further messes in my house thank-you-very-much.

Happy Belated Birthday Carter!

On may 1, my very first son had his 5th birthday. My how time flies. Unfortunately, we were grieving the loss of Grandma Moss on his day of celebration, so I am just now posting about my sweet boy!

This picture just cracks me up because it is so perfect to describe who Carter is becoming. My fellow animal rescuer, my smiling, happy-go-lucky kid, the one that's thrilled to be doing anything, whether it is work or play. He is destined to become much like his father - a peacemaker, a kind-hearted soul, outwardly passive but inwardly solid and strong.

Words cannot describe my love for my beautiful boy. I cannot believe 5 precious years have already gone by. I cannot believe my once baby boy is now reading, spelling, drawing, making up stories, solving conflicts, and becoming a great example for his baby brother.

Carter Man... Mommy loves you more than you will ever know. Happy birthday my love!

Spring Cleaning

It is soon to be summer, rather than spring, so I am a bit late out of the starting gate for Spring cleaning, but it's on my mind none-the-less.

Looking at the bedrooms in our home has been making me cringe. Even though they're fairly clean, picked-up, and organized, the amount of STUFF in each of them is getting a little over the top! Knowing that three birthdays in two months over the next few weeks is going to mean an accumulation of an abnormal amount of toys - it simply stresses me! (Carter's 5th birthday was May 1, a different post, a different day!)

So, what shall I do about this? A massive overhaul of each room is, unfortunately, necessary. My main problems:

1. What to do with old but good toys?
2. To keep or give away outgrown toddler clothes? (Clayton says no more kids but you never know!)
3. WHAT TO DO WITH ALL OF THE OLD BUT GOOD TOYS?!!

Most places do not want toys anymore... and I just cannot imagine throwing them away. What is a mom to do? I don't know a single soul that would welcome MORE toys into their already crowded toy bins. Any suggestions? What do you do when you're cleaning out your kids rooms and need to get rid of great toys that are just too young for them now? I'm contemplating just putting a table outside of my house, by the road, full of toys with a sign that reads "FREE TOYS!" I wonder if anyone would stop to grab a few things. I live out in the country so it isn't like our road is hopping with traffic... give me some ideas! I need an intervention!

Farewell Grandma

This is a post I was not prepared to create. Death is not something any of us wants to deal with, or even accept. I am no exception.

Juanita Moss, my husband's biological grandmother, and closer to mine than my own, passed away around 2am on 4-30-09. She was 84 years old. The news was surprisingly shocking. We knew her heath was rapidly declining, we knew the time was sooner rather than later, but I don't think any of us expected it to happen so soon.

Instead of focusing on her death, our overwhelming grief, and our loss, I want to focus on her life.

If you knew Grandma, then you know what an amazing woman this earth just lost. There has never been a more selfless woman than she was. She was a known worry wart, and her worry came from her fierce love. She never left anyone guessing her love for them. She showed it, gave it, and spoke it freely.

She was possibly the picture perfect Godly, submissive wife. Each day of their 63 year marriage, she woke up on a mission to make her amazing husband's life as beautiful, happy, and as easy as possible. She cared for him as she cared for everyone - COMPLETELY. She cared for others never expecting anything in return. NEVER. Her front door was always open to welcome anyone into her home, and her heart was always waiting to embrace you. Looking back, I wonder if she knew how much we all loved and appreciated her. I wonder if we made it clear enough how amazing she was. I wonder if she knew how much I looked to her for direction on how to be a good mother, a good wife, a good friend. I wonder if she knew that she made growing old not so scary to me.

Grandma never really seemed "old" to me. Sure, her physical abilities expressed her age, but mentally? Age never touched that part of her.. the REAL part of her! She was incredibly funny and witty. She could think of a comeback to all of her quick-witted husband's comments with record speed. I suppose she had many years to practice such a skill. She never seemed "behind" the times with her opinions and her life lessons. How did she keep up? How did she manage to talk to me, someone so much younger, in a way that made me feel like she was my best girl friend and not my grandmother?

She had some of the most hilarious sayings... I hope we never forget them. Just to name a few..

When the kids were being silly, she would say, "You're a Dutchman!" Apparently that's something that only northerners understand.. she was originally from Michigan.

When words escaped her over something someone had done or some random happening she would say, "Who can tell... Who can tell..." Clayton and I say this all of the time and laugh. It's so Grandma!

She was convinced that wearing a hat outside in the summer would prevent her granddaughter, Callie, from having asthma attacks. Worked every time! ;)

There are so many more - but I understand that if you didn't know her, they can't be read in the manner that she would have said them. You would have had to heard her own personal touch on them!

Oh, Grandma. I cannot believe you are really gone. After 84 years you had me convinced that you would, indeed, live forever. I am so incredibly grateful that my children had the honor and privilege of having you in their lives. I am so happy that Madison, and possibly Carter, will remember you forever. I am sad that Samuel will not remember your love for him, the joy he brought to you, or how he enjoyed your games of Peek-a-boo. But, I can promise that we will tell him. We will show him all of the pictures of you holding him, staring at him as if he was the most amazing thing this earth had ever seen.

You were quite possibly the most amazing thing this earth has ever seen. I can only imagine the works God has you doing now. Now that physical limitations are gone. Now that earthly limitations are gone. I am so joyful to know that you were an amazing CHRISTIAN woman. I know that though we all miss you now, we will spend ETERNITY with you in heaven. Thank you for giving us that security. For sharing your faith with us. For helping lead us to Christ.

We love you, we miss you, and we celebrate your life.

Visitation for Juanita's funeral will be tonight at the funeral home from 6pm-8pm. The funeral will be at First Presbyterian Church at 11am on Saturday.

The Shopping Bug

It is that time of year.. summer is quickly approaching, the humidity has set in, and a heat wave is sure to hit us any moment. This sudden change in weather creates a huge urge to go shopping! Thankfully, I have two major excuses to go soon - Madison and Carter have outgrown much of their warm weather clothes from last year and both need a new summer wardrobe. But, what about me?! Well, a lot of my stuff from last summer is a bit too large and I, too, am in need of a couple of new things. Don't get me wrong, if it comes down to it, I can wear my over sized clothes for a while longer. If I can avoid it, I definitely will!

To help with this huge shopping bug that's been nibbling at me, I'm trying my best to save a bit of each paycheck I get. I got three this week... so I'm saving a portion of that, and I'll have three or four next week, so I'll be hopeful that I can save a chunk of that, as well. Couple that with some great JC Penny's coupons I just got in the mail and I'm just giddy!

Back in the day, when the kids needed clothes like they do now, I'd have to just go put them on the credit card and take the next several months to pay it back down. That is NOT fun times... so I am so thankful that God is giving me so much opportunity to work right when I need to. Saving money for something like this is an art I'm learning. I am really excited each time I slip another bill or two into my stash... grow clothes money, grow!!

HAVING to go shopping.. now that's a great need!

Life Changing Back

To avoid turning his into a serious vent post, I will simply say that a mere 24hrs after the guy made us an offer on our house, he called to say that he decided to buy a different house, and they're moving tomorrow. I am beyond frustrated, confused, and emotionally DRAINED after the past two days. We're probably about to put the house up for sale and just see what happens... I don't know if I can handle ups and downs like that again, though. So, we're staying put for now... but God is definitely trying to move us in some way. Just not sure exactly what he's up to but I wish he'd reveal it more easily than this!

Life is About to Change

I can't recall if I spoke on my blog about the house selling craziness we had a month ago. A neighbor sold his house, approached us about buying ours, we scrambled to figure out what our house was worth, and he wanted to give us MUCH less and wouldn't budge. So, we said that was fine.. he said he'd look at other houses, we were happy to stay here b/c we LOVE our house. :)

Fast forward to this evening. Same man pulls unexpectedly into our driveway with his wife and granddaughter. I open the front door, thinking they were stopping by to say a "goodbye neighbor! See you around!" but was shocked when they asked if it would be okay for them to look at our house again. I stumbled over my dropped jaw and said, "OH... sure!"

Thankfully Clayton hadn't left for work yet and he was able to talk to the man. To my complete, total, and utter shock... he offered us the EXACT number we had told him we wanted originally. He wants to buy our house... he said he'd get the paperwork going MONDAY and they're sure this is what they want. Apparently their search for homes revealed that our house is pretty much the best thing out here - much ado to my husband's God-given carpentry talent and this gorgeous property that we are SO blessed to be sitting on.

So, I'm finding myself stuck somewhere between doing a happy dance and feeling totally sick to my stomach. Selling our home for that price means amazing things for us financially and it means we can move forward on finding a larger home with more land. On the flip side, it means leaving this place. This has been our home for the past 4 years. We actually closed on our house on my birthday! Best birthday present ever! That very afternoon Clayton came to this house, tore out all of the carpet and old flooring, started knocking down walls, and our dreams started taking form. New countertops, new walls, new flooring throughout, new bathtub, new EVERYTHING. Just the way we wanted it... it was so stressful and so fun! Now, I look around at what our labor produced and cannot help but feel sad at the thought of handing it over to someone else. Though I want to move... part of me just loves it here.

I am praying to God to just show us exactly what he wants us to do, and if he wants us to sell, EXACTLY where he wants us to go. Right now, we have no idea. There isn't a single house I've seen for sale that I want. Either it's enough land but not enough house, or enough house but not enough land. I know the perfect option is out there... and I know God will reveal it! Be praying for us! This is a huge change if we go through with it.

Summer's Start

Tonight we will be traveling to the place we've spent each spring and early part of summer over the past 3 years - the ball field! Madison's first softball game is this evening and I am so excited! This is her first year playing pitching machine, bumping up from T-Ball. It is so different and so much more enjoyable! It's a real game, with real outs, real scores, and it will be her first time experiencing true victories (we hope!) and defeats. I think it is really going to be a character building time for my little lass! I'm curious to see if she gets really into her team and feels bonded to the girls as an entire unit. I'm also wondering how she'll handle it when her team loses - and wins! I'm more worried about how I'll handle the few psycho parents that always make games miserable for both teams... you know the ones. You may even be one!

I was talking to Shelley at our last practice and, due to the screaming coming from behind us - a group of parents to one child on the field - I noticed that our team lacks those parents most of the time. I, for sure, am not that parent. You won't hear me screaming at Madison if she strikes out, if she doesn't catch a ball, or even if she makes a royal screw-up while out in the field. Isn't that why we have coaches? I just sit back quietly and let the coaches correct her mistakes. Thankfully, we have an AMAZING group of coaches. Never too hard on the girls, yet they know how to encourage them and push them to be better. To run faster, to hit better, to not fear catching those screamers. Those are things I don't feel it is my job to do while she's in their care. I can't help but notice how incredibly distracting it is for kids to have both coaches and parents telling them what to do and how to do it. So, I will just be there as a cheerleader! Madison will have her very own cheering section - as will all of the girls on our team! GO COLTS! I will also likely be that mom that cheers for the girls on the other team... I know that we're playing one of Madison's best friends tonight. I gotta scream for Gracen, too!

Navigating Delicious

I just joined Delicious and am totally lost. All of my writing buddies keep telling me I HAVE to get involved in these social networking sites to see what's hot right now online and also to promote my own stuff... so I'm trying it out!

I've made it as far as installing the stuff onto my computer and now I'm at the "You have no one in your network - Yet!" part. Umm... okay.. so now what? I'm used to Facebook, folks... all ya do is type in the name of your best friend and up pops their page. How do I get people into my network? It's amazing how much more I know about this kind of stuff today, as compared to last year, yet how far behind I can still feel! I'm trying to step up my game and get back into writing. The hardest part of writing is promoting your work and getting it out there for people to see. I'm making money daily off of the articles I've already written on a "page view revenue" setup.. but obviously the more page views the better! Also, I can promote some of my favorite writers' work as well!

So, if you're into social networking sites like Delicious, help me out! Give me the idiot-proof version, please!

The Truth About Motherhood?

I have several shows that I set to record on DVR in case I have time after the kids go to bed to run through them. One that I set is Oprah. Mainly, I just want to make sure to catch Dr. Oz episodes so I'll find out one more way to not clog my arteries and make myself wrinkled at 27. Other shows can catch my attention, too. One I found, that I watched last night, was all about the truths of motherhood.

The show basically featured moms all around the nation talking about the cold hard truths of what being a mother is really about. All of the frustrating moments, the overwhelment of having a newborn, the exhaustion of simply keeping kids alive each day, the brattiness of their children. Each story that was shared was one I could certainly relate to. Who hasn't experienced times like those, right? Though I could see some of myself in each woman that spoke, I couldn't help but have a knot in my stomach watching the show. Is motherhood REALLY that bad?

After the episode was over, I found myself nearly in tears from frustration. One hour of TV completely dedicated to the torture that children put we moms through. (and, of course, they had to include a bit of husband bashing in the mix. We all know that men of today are simply lazy, stupid, unhelpful dopes and we don't need them around anyway. *drip drip - sarcasm*) Am I the only mom that really, REALLY mostly enjoys her children? They are such a gift.. such an undeserved gift. Do I always like running around crazy taking care of 'this' and 'that' or being puked on, sleep deprived, or just emotionally drained taking care of three other humans? Well, of course not! That would be insane! Do I, on a daily basis, think great things about my kids and enjoy them? Absolutely!

I think one of the greatest, and most tragic gifts life ever gave me was my Aunt Linda. She was my second mother... and was very sick for almost all of her life. She had Juvenile Diabetes from the age of about 9 years old and suffered tremendously from it until she died at the age of just 39 years old, on June 18, 2001. One day after my Madison's first birthday. Though my aunt had many hard times in life, the hardest by far was the day she gave birth to a two month premature baby girl, named Amber Leigh, and had to watch her little angel die just a few days later. She would have made an amazing mother, but never got the chance to raise her daughter. I suppose God knew that Amber would have to watch her mother be very sick, and die at a young age, and spared her. Perhaps, even having just a few days with her own baby was a gift God gave my aunt.

Growing up with a someone in your life that has experienced such true loss really molds your attitudes on certain life experiences. My main "molded" experience: experiencing children.

My aunt mothered every one's children. She was a second mom to every child she came into contact with. Once, a similar show came on to the Oprah episode I spoke of, and she and I watched it together. I could tell it was upsetting to her and she simply said, "If they had any idea what a precious and priceless gift they're children were, they would just get over it and enjoy them.." I suppose that moment has been sealed in my head. When I feel completely overwhelmed with my kids, I think of how many women would give ANYTHING for just one more moment like that with their lost children. With the children they'll never have, or the children they'll never get back while they are here on earth. It doesn't mean times are never hard... as I type this I have a wiggling 20 month old on my lap and I'm running a fairly high fever. (those two certainly equal a good time, right? ugh...) Will I be so happy when his nap time comes so I can get a break? Oh yeah! Am I going to blame my hard day on him? No. He's a sweet, innocent, little man... even with his screaming fits and tantrums... that my pounding head is not in the mood for.

The point of this post is not to say that moms should NEVER be free to complain openly about how hard motherhood really is. It IS hard! It's the hardest job anyone could ever do! The point of this post is just to ask all moms out there to take a moment and look around. Is it really 'that' bad? Isn't it worth celebrating that God allowed us to not only be pregnant, give birth, and have our babies.. but he allowed us to KEEP them? He chooses EACH day who shall stay on this earth and who shall go to be with him, and each day he chooses to keep my babies here with me, I am so thankful. I am humbled. I am so undeserving of these trials of motherhood that God has so graciously given to me.

Maybe as we spend our typical moments venting to our good friends, that understand what we're going through, how hard our day with the kids was today... we couple that with at least one precious moment that we also shared with them. There are so many and they are worthy of praise!

We're Almost Done With Diapers

Yesterday Samuel ran to me, as he has been doing lately, and proclaimed, "I nee a di-pah!" Translation for those that do not speak toddler: I need a diaper! After taking his wet diaper off, he quickly jumped up and ran to the bathroom squealing, "Potty! Potty! Potty!" Ugh.. here we go. I sat him on the potty, waited for an eternity, and finally convinced him get a new diaper on since he was NOT going potty.

This is the age my big kids also took an interest in the potty. Who knows when he'll actually potty train, but I can't help but be a bit surprised at his sudden interest in doing what everyone else in the house does, with no coaxing from any of us.

Anywho... during the whole di-pah and Potty! Potty! Potty! incident, Clayton says,

"Wow.. we're almost done with diapers." I sat in silence... mainly because diapering a squirming 20 month old is similar to hog-tying a calf... but also because I had a twinge of pain. In my own head I silently repeated that phrase to myself... "we're almost done with diapers..."

What a strange thing for me to say! It is so odd how you can almost grieve the loss of this phase of life when it's over. It's like you're stuck between being excited about how much easier life is with bigger kids, and being so sad about the knowledge that you'll never have a wiggly, sweet smelling, diaper wearing, baby again.

I suppose Samuel's babyhood just flew by a whole lot too quickly for my liking. I have tried to savor each moment with him... but when I realized that my baby boy is turning two in just 3 months... I was just stunned! How did that happen?! Can someone show me where the rewind button is, please?

I am thankful that he at least has kept all of that beautiful curly hair...

New Puppies Needing Homes

Oh, the never-ending problem. Too many dogs, not enough people adopting. *sigh*

Clayton went to the pound this morning and, to my shock, came home with FOUR Beagle mix puppies. They were so disgusting! If you've never taken a puppy directly from the pound, then you can't imagine the stink that comes off of them. They are literally soaked in urine and feces... being so little they aren't with it enough to only use the bathroom in one corner of the kennel - so they pee and poop everywhere, then walk through it, lay in it, etc... 24/7. (well, until it's cleaned out!) Thankfully Clayton called to warn me to fill the tub and get ready for an afternoon of bath times!

I was stunned when he brought in the four nasty, but gorgeous, puppies. There are 3 males and one female - all totally sweet! They love to be held and cuddled and are quite calm! (shocking!) They are probably 3 months old or so. You'd have to see them in real life to grasp just how darn cute they are... really.. beautiful!

We are totally OVERRUN at the pound right now. We're having to euthanize dogs for the first time in quite a while simply due to overcrowding. These GREAT dogs are dying simply because no one wants them. It is depressing and I am desperate to get ANY of our homeless dogs homes. If you've thought at all about getting a dog, PLEASE let me know. PLEASE do not buy from a breeder... let me help you find the perfect dog for your family. You can save a life! As the awesome organization Dogs Deserve Better says, "Don't breed or buy while shelter dogs die!" I couldn't say it better myself!

Check out some of our available dogs at http://www.searkdogadoption.weebly.com/ - more will be added this week! Some on the site will be removed - I believe several were euthanized. I'll be visiting the pound tomorrow morning (Tuesday morning) around 10:30am if anyone wants to come and see the dogs we have for themselves!

Welcome to Our Home!

This is the welcome poor Clark, pictured between the two psycho boys, got when he arrived at our home for the first time last night. As soon as he told Michael, (pictured on the right) he was going to come by, the plot to make him scream like a girl was on! Clayton (pictured left) ran to get these lovely masks that he keeps just for such occasions. (masks that I have repeatedly tried to do away with)

The two boogilies hid outside in the dark for Clark to drive up, and as he was knocking on the front door, I heard all kinds of commotion outside! Our neighbors must think we're completely nuts over here! I opened the door to find Clark completely stunned. I wasn't sure if he was even scared... he says he was. He hid it well.

Clayton and Michael were super proud of themselves... if only I had a working video camera to capture all of their nonsense.

Let this serve as a warning for those that are planning a first time trip to our home. Come in the daytime...


What's amazing is that Michael and Clark both left for a mission trip to Poland today. Through playing football and being their typical amazing selves, I have no doubt they, along with Jeremy, are going to start a movement towards Christ! I am so proud to get to routinely hang out with such outstanding people!

Wildest Swimsuits for Summer

I was surfing the Fox News Website to see what important things are happening in the world today when I ran across this hilarious set of pictures. Of all of the suits pictures, I thought my figure would look best in this. The bat wing style cape would have to camouflage my thighs, right? I would never be able to get my hair to do that though...

Absent Blogger

I have not been keeping up my blog very well over the past few weeks. I suppose life has been just really busy and my passion for writing was temporarily squelched due to being consumed with other things. The warmth of the sun today has jump started my writing desire, so I thought I'd give a little insight into the current life O' Mandy.

THE KIDS

All three kids are just fantastic. I was telling Clayton last week that I just love the place we are in with each of them. Madison is doing just awesome at everything in school, is advancing beautifully in dance, and will go for her first softball practice tonight with her new team. She is a sweet and caring girl, full of emotions from time to time, and has learned the art of REALLY being funny.

Carter is a big goof. All of the teachers at his preschool simply say "He's so happy and sweet!" That pretty much sums him up. A big boy full of love and joy. He's pretty much happy to be wherever he is. He had his first T-Ball practice yesterday evening and it went great! He's a natural ball player, just like his daddy. He was one of the few that didn't break down into tears over something or another... that's just not his style.

Samuel.. what can I say about Sam?! He is my love. He has my heart and I cannot get enough of him. He talks up a storm now - putting together little sentences such as, "I try it," "That's mine," and "I wanna go." He's the happiest little toddler! He knows how to throw a good fit when the mood strikes him, but 90% of the time, if he's with Mommy or Daddy, he's just as happy as he can be.

THE WORK

I've done very little writing lately. I'm hoping to get back in the mood for it soon because I miss 'wanting' to do it. Something will strike my fancy sooner or later I'm sure.

Dog business is doing great! I'm getting emails and calls weekly now and my client list is steadily growing. I've yet to work with dogs that we don't see results after the first session. I just trained 4 Daschunds the other day for a retired couple. They were the cutest little dogs, but full of barks and excitement! After the first 3 minutes of me arriving, they were calm and quiet. It was a really easy case, actually, but the owners were amazed. (that always makes me happy!) They want to be added to my "dog walking" list, too.. which I think is exactly what their little doggies need to be well behaved. EXERCISE.

Now that it's starting to warm up, the dog walking is much more enjoyable. Today I took a client's dog on a really long walk, with Samuel on my back in the Ergo, and it was just fantastic! We were both happily exhausted when it was over.

Dog boarding is something that recently has started - not in my original plans but it's a profitable business plan, helpful to my clients, and fun! Why not? I'll be keeping a Jack Russel for one of my clients for a little bit of spring break. He's so much fun.. I can't wait to spend a few days with him. My kids are going to go nuts over him!

Being the Children's Coordinator for Journey is such a blast. It's kind of like the dog stuff.. I often find it shocking that I get paid for such things! I've taken the road less traveled and stopped using the pre-packaged curriculum that the church has been buying so that I can tailor each lesson for OUR kids and where I know they are each week. It's amazing how much I've learned from preparing lessons. Digging deeper into scripture in order to teach it to children really helps me get more out of it. It's my coolest job, by far.

ME

I'm just feeling fine.. really really fine. :) I'm struggling a bit here and there being content with where we are right now (house wise) but after the sermon Jeff taught on Sunday, I'm seeing things in a different light. I'm just thankful. We have so much... we are so blessed. How can I be anything but thankful? God knows my desires - and I'll have to be content with that knowledge.

So, how are YOU in blogland? Hope to be seeing more of you!

Life's About to Get Topsy-Turvy!

This week both of the kids' coaches called to arrange some sort of schedule. As of this week we have:

Wednesday (tonight) - meeting with Carter's team at 6pm. (so excited!!)
Thursday - dance
Friday - Softball pract. assuming it won't rain. If it does rain, we'll meet at the park to at least see each other. (again, so excited!)

So far I know that Madison will be practising on Tuesdays and Fridays. That's great with my schedule. Now we just have to see what Carter's team does. Praying for Mondays! I've still not figured out how exactly I will manage to be in two places at the same time should the teams play on the same days/same times. I'm sure other mommies out there have made it happen!

I Love Girl Time

Having a little girl has been a really neat and amazing experience throughout the past 7.5 years. From drama madness to complete sweetness... I am so thankful to have my daughter. Now that she's growing into quite the little lady, we've made it to a new, really fun, time. The conversations we have now are much more meaningful, and she can really crack me up! Her friends are starting to have much more of an impact on her daily life and I find myself thanking God for her smart pickings!

Sundays after church have become prime social time for Miss Madison. Each week, without failing, she is either invited to go to someone's house or inviting her friends over to play. It has been a blast! Hearing the giggling and "deep thoughts" of a bunch of little girls is just priceless. It takes me back to the days I used to spend with my best girl friends. From bike riding to swiming and even riding horses, weekends with my friends were the best!

Clayton and I said a long time ago that we would make sure that we keep our house "the fun house" so that our kids would hopefully want to have friends over here to play. Our goal is for them to see that they can have a blast, and be safe, here at home as opposed to always going out looking for something to get into. We'll see if it works throughout the years... but for now, we're off to a good start!

I Finally Did It

I'm the last person on the planet to join Facebook.. but I finally did today. What drove me to such change? I discovered about 18, no exaggeration, friend invites from Facebook today in my email. I have no idea what happened there, but it was the push I needed.

I was frustrated almost immediately trying to figure a few things out, but it turned out to be pretty simple. I think the problem with it is that I'm going to be insanely addicted to it. It's easier than blogging, it's faster than email... it's just cool!

In the process of looking for a profile picture I quickly realized I have about three pictures of myself from the past 3 years or so. Not much to choose from.

Wow... I finally did it. I joined. At this rate I'll end up breaking down and joining Twitter, too! What is the world coming to?!

When's it going to get better?

So, the economy is still stinking up America - when is it going to get better? America voted for "change," but the only changes I've seen are more foreclosures, more lay-offs, and more people trying to dump the stocks they have left - and those that used to buy them hiding in fear from the sight of them. It's scary times, people. Those of you that are watching your retirement savings dwindle down each month, I truly hurt for you. I am thankful that we are so young that hopefully we'll see a huge upswing and our retirement accounts will be fine by the time we need them.

I enjoy looking at different realty websites in our area to see what's on the market, and at what price. No, we're not looking to move anytime soon, but a girl can dream! I'm amazed at how desperate people are becoming to sell their homes. So many gorgeous homes are screaming in red letters "PRICE REDUCED FOR A FAST SELL!" I'm sad to see how many foreclosures there are right here in my little city. Part of me thinks it would be a perfect time for us to start house hunting (more land, more house - The American Dream!) but the realistic part of me knows that first we'd need to sell our house. What makes me think we'll have more luck than anyone else in this county?

The good news for us is that the crazy economy has, thankfully, not effected us. With me now working we're doing fine, and Clayton has fantastic job security so we are SO blessed not to have to pray that he's not the next to get axed by the boss.

I have been wondering how the economy has affected others. When the gas prices were sky high, we were hurting. Now that they're lower, we're feeling much more comfortable. Food prices have not exactly come down to match the lower gas prices, so we're working to make a smart list each week before we shop to combat that. How have you felt the weight of the current economic times? Has it really had much of an impact on you? What about those close to you? Have you changed spending habits at all in the past two years?

All Better!

Our house is finally on the mend... as of today all three kids are illness free. HOORAY! Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but I'm celebrating the peace for the moment. As you can see Samuel's pink eye is also totally gone. Thankfully I had the eye drops left from the last time one of the trio got it so he started getting dosed immediately. It was pretty much gone the next evening.

Now I'm the only one needing to get better. My body just refuses to be normal... lots of pain and other girly issues we won't get into in blogland - but let's just say this week was extremely hard on me. Thankfully I'm going to my OB/GYN on the 10th and I hope he'll be able to help me. If I was older I'd just get a hysterectomy.. it's really that bad. However, at the ripe old age of 25, I'm not ready for that. I have a feeling hormone treatment of some kind is in my future - which will likely have a huge list of side effects that I will also hate. I guess I'll just have to pick the lesser of the two evils.

Enough whining... I really am thankful that Samuel is better. It was way too tough to hurt like I've been hurting AND have to carry a 26 pound load 24/7! Hopefully today will be the start of me feeling better.

Sick Boy

Poor Samuel has a cold.. and pink eye. Ugh... Does anyone else find that when their kids are sick, especially when they're babies/toddlers, you go between feeling incredibly sorry for them and feeling incredibly tired of dealing with their whiney-ness? (whiney-ness?? lol) When Sam woke up from his afternoon nap with tears and sniffles I scooped him up and cuddled him with total dedication to his comfort ... at first. 30 minutes later when he's still clinging to me and screaming each time I even make a move like I'm about to let his precious behind touch the couch... my dedication begins to run dry.

At this moment I'm blogging with him curled up on my lap - favorite blankie and pacifier in tow. At least he's letting me multitask.

Play Ball!

I just finished registering Carter for T-Ball. I am so excited that they now offer online registration! How easy is THAT?! My little man will look so darn cute in his baseball outfit - because that's what matters - how cute he looks in his hat and glove.

Before I get the kids from school I'll be heading to Farm Bureau to register Madison for softball. She will bump up to pitching machine this season, and I have to admit I'm nervous about it! Tball was so much fun. It was low pressure, most of the parents were not overly competitive, and it was really about HAVING FUN, not about winning. I've already heard numerous warnings from seasoned parents that once they start bumping up, that all changes. We'll see... I pray we get on a great team with parents that are encouraging rather than degrading.

I've realized that I really am not sure how to practise with Madison for softball this year. Should I toss the ball to her underhanded? Throw it faster overhanded? What's the best way to help them ease into such a big transition, from T-Ball to Pitching machine?

All in all I am extremely excited about this ball season. I hate that softball got bumped up into April this year. Now she'll be in dance AND starting softball at the same time. I'd rather them have to play in a bit hotter weather than have to juggle that kind of schedule. Oh well, my goal is to make it completely fun for the kids, and for Clayton and me. No stress, no matter what running it causes in the evenings!

Spring Clothes Shopping Gone Wrong

I took Samuel and I on a little shopping trip to Pine Bluff yesterday while the kids were in school. I called one of the only friends I still keep in touch with from high school (who works in PB) and we met up for lunch. That was the first time we'd seen each other in a long time... and that's the first time she's seen Sam since she visited us in the hospital after he was born! (She did bring us an AMAZING supper in the hospital.. omgosh.. I could have kissed her feet for that!)

After chit-chatting and laughing so hard it made eating a bit impossible, we parted ways and Samuel and I headed to the 'wonderful' (drip-drip with sarcasm) mall there. I had a gift card from Christmas to Dillards and I happened upon some decent sales. I was thrilled as I walked out of there with my big bag of goodies and headed to my favorite store - JC Penny's. Oh how I love thee.

I used to absolutely hate that store, but as of late, they've gotten some great lines! Their prices have skyrocketed, but the good 'ole' Penny's sales keep me coming back for more. I found some really really great clothes for the boys (which is often tough for me to do), and found nearly nothing I liked for Madison. (odd) On my way to checkout with my double stroller loaded down, I happened upon the most horrific sight I've seen since this time last year. It made my stomach knot up a bit, and I think I even said aloud, "Oh no..."

THE BATHING SUIT SECTION! Duh-Duh-Duhhh....

From bikinis, to one-pieces, to tankinis... there they were. Mocking me as I walked past. The bikinis jokingly called to me,
"Hey, mom of three.. why don't ya try US on?!"
The one-pieces scoffed,
"Do you really think you can pull off the cut of these bottoms?!"
The tankinis could barely keep their composure as they reminded me that their tops stop right about belly button range... and the bottoms start right about hip-bone range, leaving the worst part of the midsection right out in the open for all to see. Lovely.

Oh how I dread this part of upcoming summer. I MUST choose a bathing suit. We do a lot of going to Magic Springs and going to the lake with friends, not having one is not optional.

So, the hunt begins. Finding the bathing suit that covers my stomach AND my rear. I better start hunting NOW.

Coolest Playhouse Ever

Clayton built the kids a playhouse a few months back, and I realized that I've never blogged about it! (Leslie H... here's some pictures for you since you're so far away now!) It has been a blast for our kids, our dogs, the cats, and ALL of the kids that frequent our home. Even the oldest of kids at our Journey get togethers have loved it. We decorated it with lights for Christmas (and for the Journey bonfire), and Madison's already talking about how we can plant flowers all around it for spring. (Does she know who her mother is?) I just wanted to share a bit of Clayton's handy work.. he's so talented!

Single Motherhood is not for Me

Clayton has been gone again all this week, and will be home tomorrow. Whew.. I cannot wait! Our week has been much better than the last time he left (aka the week Samuel broke his arm), but it's just so exhausting! I catch myself watching the clock thinking that he'll be home to do this or that, and then I remember that, nope, it's still just me. I'm sure this is building all kinds of good qualities in me... none of which I can think of at the moment. I guess there does come a sense of pride to know that you single-handedly are keeping 3 kids alive. How good of a job I'm doing at keeping everyone alive.. well, that's debatable.

I am so happy that tomorrow is Friday!

Hair Madness

It is that time again.. it's been around 3 months since I last had my hair cut (or trimmed... I know - I know...) and I'm back to the ponytail every day point with it. So, I'm in the market for a new look. I already know I'm going to see Melissa at Modern Image for the cut and color (she just did an amazing job cutting Madison's hair!) and after seeing the really great job she did on my friend's hair, it verified her as my choice.

Now, it's decision making time. Do I want to go shorter again? Keep it the same length but add a new shape? Shave it bald so I don't have to deal with it at all? What's a gal to do?

On top of what cut I want, I'm also trying to figure out what colors I want. I know I want two - I'm getting it foiled. I don't like anything drastic, but I want it noticeable. I'm thinking maybe just doing highlights in one shade lighter and the other two shades lighter. Is that too boring? Maybe I should go all out and surprise Clayton with pink streaks and purple undertones....

I hate trying to decide what to do to my hair. I want something different, but I also get so terrified of going too far outside of my established comfort zone!

Thank you Mr. Burgess!

Joe Burgess has agreed to relink the website I created for our homeless doggies each week as long as I send him a fresh article to go with it. HOORAY! This is amazing! Here's the first mention of it on Monticello Live.

http://www.monticellolive.com/new-website-for-monticellos-homeless-canines/

Is It Spring Yet?

This morning was so so cold... all I could think, as I scolded myself for not starting the van sooner, was, "I am so ready for spring!" I try to be happy no matter what the weather, but winter is just not my cup of tea. I love to be outside - unless it's below 50 degrees.

I went out this morning to feed all of the dogs (currently we have two of our own and 8 fosters) and by the time I got finished filling bowls and dumping out ice to refresh the water dishes I was in pain from the cold! My hands were completely red and I could barely move my fingers. It didn't help that our newest foster has zero manners from living his entire life at the pound and jumped on me while I was holding a newly filled bowl of water. Splish-Splash and let the frost bite set in!

Samuel was so mad at me that I would not stay outside to let him play any longer. I just cannot take it. What can I say.. born in the South! We like it warm!

I have two training sessions this Saturday in Warren and the forecast is calling for 60+ temps - I pray it stays looking that way! I hate taking clients outside for training in the freezing cold.. and both of these need help with walking. Lord, PLEASE.. help me out with some beams of sunshine!

One Resolution Failing

Two of my New Year's Resolutions were to get fit and to read my New Testament Bible in a year. I'm keeping to the fitness part, but it's been about a week since I even attempted to read my Bible. *shame* The Devil really knows how to get me.

Since I made my decision to take my walk with Christ much more seriously, it seems my life has exploded. Amazingly, I'm enjoying 'almost' every bit of the craziness that is going on every day. The problem is, it is leaving me incredibly distracted and exhausted at the end of each day. The time I was reserving for quiet time with God is now used cleaning the house, because I wasn't home that day to do it, looking over my schedule to fit in a new client, or simply being completely worthless and lazy on the couch watching Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. (one of my new favorite shows.) It's amazing how I can find time for everything else each day, but not my time with God. What's even more amazing is how I can feel a difference in myself because of it.

I'm feeling much more on edge, more tired, more pressured, and an entire list of things that are not very typical of my personality. I'm looking at my list of things to do and getting tired just thinking about it all! I wonder if I should drop some things to make more down time... but for some reason that just does not feel like the way God is leading me. The more I convince myself that I just need to stop doing "this" or "that" to feel better, the more I hear God saying to keep doing what I am, but just lean on him. Oh... that's easy for him to say...

Thankfully our church is starting a new Beth Moore Bible study tonight (8pm for any women that want to come!) and I think it is exactly what I need. Not coincidentally, Clayton has a random month of the day shift this month. If he didn't, I'd never be able to go. God is so good.. he works my life out for me if I just let him.