And, I'm Drawing a Blank

Something amazing happens after you have a few kids... you completely lose your ability to form a complete sentence, or answer a question intelligently on the fly. This tends to only happen in times that you're either:

A: In front of a lot of strangers

B: Being asked about very important info

C: Asked something you should obviously know the answer to

One of the first times this ever happened to me was when I was in Motherhood Maternity. After what seemed like hours of sorting Moo Moo's from what might be stylish clothes, I arrived at the checkout counter. After recovering from a massive stroke due to sticker shock, the lady **that was all of 16 years old and a size 2** looked at me and asked,

"Zip code please"

Me: stares blankly

Sickeningly thin girl: "I need your zip code please."

Me: "Umm... I have no idea..." utter humiliation begins

I believe this conversation ended with me telling her to just make one up for me... it took me a good 20 minutes after leaving the store to remember where exactly in the United States of America I lived. I blamed it on pregnant brain.

Imagine my shock when this condition not only didn't go away after pregnancy.. but got worse! Oh yes... much worse.

I have since then walked into rooms and completely forgotten why I was in there - numerous times a day.

I have forgotten people's names that I've met several times. Or, I've not only forgotten their names, but also how I know them at all. It is very difficult to get any answers about said person from the husband later in this situation.

"Remember that girl with shoulder-length brown hair? She's my height.. a little bigger than I am? I saw her at Walmart today. Who is that? Why do I know her?" *husband is now giving me the look I gave to the skinny b-word at Motherhood Maternity.

Multiplication Tables - those magically disappeared.

This is the new easy way to teach multiplication?!

"chief... cheif...piece...peice..." I before E except after C.. right? Is that right? Ugh.. let me open spell check..

I swear I used to be smart. Like.. REALLY smart. "Hey Mandy, do my homework" smart. I don't know where it went.

Just this morning, I was calling our insurance and claims people all morning about this situation, and one of them, shockingly, asked what type of van we had.

"Umm...it's a Ford..." Yeah, they needed more info than that.

Right as I was about to walk out the front door to read the back of my totally jacked up vehicle, it suddenly came to me! "Oh.. it's a Freestar!" I honestly did a little jig in the living room because I was able to recall that info without cheating. Sad times, my friends.

Trying to remember everyone's birthdays about kills me. Not so much the days, but the years... and I realized the other day that I also suddenly cannot remember what time it was when each of my children were ripped from my womb. (Csections...) When asked by each of them "what time was I born?!" The best answer I could give was, "Sometime between 5:00am and 7:00am... I think." I've turned into the cable guy.

It's really amazing that I have remembered to feed these kids over all of these years. And, trim their fingernails. (It's really freakish how fast those suckers grow.) They may be taking care of me well before my golden years if I keep up at this rate. Sorry kids. I swear I had it all together before I became a mom.