And We Wonder What's Wrong With Kids Today

Last night we ended our bedtime routine like always; reading books. The big kids now read to me and then off to bed - then I sit with Samuel and read to him. Last night his choice was one of our most favorites: a Mother Goose book.

A few rhymes into this book I have to admit I started noticing that some of these sweet little stories are a little out there.

Take poor little Jack who fell down and broke his crown! Jill fell down, too.. but did you know that the entire rhyme involves Jill getting "whipped" for laughing at Jack?

How about Old Mother Hubbard? How many of you know that entire story? The second paragraph mentions "the poor dog was dead" and the third tries to rhyme "coffin" (as in to bury the dog) with "laughing." (Mother Goose might have had one too many when she wrote that one...)

Goosey, Goosey, Gander... whither shall I wander? And in the end... " I took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs."

And what on earth must have been going on in Mother Goose's life for her to create the rhyme of Peter the Pumpkin Eater that couldn't "keep" his wife and felt a pumpkin shell was an appropriate alternative?

Have you heard this one:

"Tom, Tom, the piper's son,
Stole a pig and away he run,
The pig was eat,
And Tom was beat,
And Tom went howling down the street."

Nice. (do you suppose Tom thought the pig was a grand enough meal to endure the latter beating?)

The Old Woman in the Shoe... why do you think she kept on having so many kids? And talk about a dead beat dad! Where's he in this story? And, what did the kids do to deserve being "whipped soundly and put to bed" in the end? So much missing from this drama.

And we sing the song about babies falling out of treetops to our infants as lullabies and wonder why they can't sleep through the night...

And who is the Wee Willie Winkie running around in his nightgown peeking through locks? Mother Goose, perhaps you should contact the local authorities the next time you spot something like that, instead of writing it all down.

Let's not even start with the "Rub-a-dub-dub, Three men in a tub" rhyme.

And, before closing your eyes precious child, let's say a Mother Goose prayer about how if you happen to die before you wake, that we pray the Lord your soul to take.

After this careful review of Mother Goose's nursery rhymes, I'm starting to think these books should come with a minimum PG-13 rating. And we wonder why our kids are so demented...