Sorry to Keep You Hanging

So, I lied when I said I'd post pics of the house "tomorrow." My hubby keeps running off to work with the digital camera and I keep forgetting to load the pics onto the computer when he's home. Eventually, I will share the pictures.

To change the subject totally, I must take my hat off to all moms that work at home. I never could have imagined what a challenge it was! I have been slowly entering into the world of becoming a writer. Yeah, like a real one. I'm even possibly going to look into going to school for 2-4 years for an English or Journalism major once I find my niche in writing and what I want long term for myself. (possibly major in one, minor in the other?) If any of you have majored in these areas, give me some love and tell me what classes it would entail and what kind of work is necessary. None of these life changing things would happen until Samuel goes to Pre-K. So three years from now. (unless I find a great online course that transfers college credits to a college of my choice... we shall see.)

In the meantime, I am actually being published and getting paid for articles I have written. I am stunned to be honest. I've always been a "writer" at heart. As a little girl I had to have a journal from the time I could spell out words to form a sentence. I wrote down everything. My thoughts, what happened that day, my fears, and fictional stories to boot. I was probably the only teenager in high school to love those mandatory essays we had to write. For some reason, I find it exciting to get a topic that I know little about, research it to death, and write an article, essay, or story about it that makes total sense and is enlightening to someone that is in the dark on that topic like I was before I wrote about it. (and that, my friends, is a writing no-no. That sentence was much too long and wordy. Hey, this is my blog and I say it works here.)

This brings me to how hard it can be to be a mom and work at home at the same time. I REFUSE to be "that mom" that stays home with her kids but spends her entire day at the computer, cleaning house, or doing things totally not related to her children. When I start to think that my children would get more attention and more structured playtime at a daycare than here with me, I have a problem with it. So, I'm having to learn to balance all of this. It's new, and a challenge I'm ready to accept. So far, so good.

So, I suppose my best work title right now would simply be a freelance writer. It's great for me. I can do it in my own time, whenever I want, as long as I meet my deadlines. As I get published more and more, I hope to get more regular "jobs" instead of the "Hey, I need someone to write 10 articles by Friday!" gigs. I'm getting braver now and starting to write things to submit to big name magazines, and lesser known ones as well. I might even try my hand at writing for some newspapers. I'll never know if I don't try!

Isn't it strange how scary it is to just try? I have to keep reminding myself that I definitely won't get selected for a particular job if I don't apply. I hate the feeling of rejection. The only good thing about not trying, is you have zero chances of being turned down. But, you also never progress.

I've never had feelings like I have now in my adult life. All I've ever wanted before was to have children and be a mother. While that is still #1 on my list, I'm slowly creeping up there too. What do I want for me now? I feel complete in the parenting department. The stronger my urge to succeed as a writer becomes, the more I'm sure I'm done having babies. I'm praying for God to direct me to opportunities that will glorify him, not just me. (this is a very hard thing to pray AND MEAN for me, I admit.) Amazingly, the very first article I ever had purchased by a publisher was to a christian resource magazine and it was about overcoming low self-esteem. It's a little ironic that my self-esteem when writing that, about myself as a writer, was nil. But, God guided my words and helped me succeed! I pray he continues to guide me.

How weird to be embarking on a career... I never saw this day coming. It came from NO WHERE.