When is the quiver full?

I believe there are women in the world that, no matter how many children they have, they will ALWAYS want another. I believe I may be one of those women. Trying to figure out if you want another child, or another baby, can be tricky. Is it purely the desire to have the excitement and wonder of pregnancy? Anxiously awaiting the new arrival? The joyous moment of seeing your baby for the first time? Holding that sweet small bundle to your breast for the first time? Or, is it something more? How do you know? I worry I'll be torn on this issue for years and years to come. You see, Clayton and I agreed that Samuel would be our last child. We agreed that for many very logical and very sound reasons. Reason number one, and the most important reason of all, is because Clayton is really ready to be done with the pregnancy and baby phase of our marriage. He can't wait to load us all up and fly to Hawaii or something like that! (and that's not something I'd like to do with anyone under the age of 3.. maybe more like 4.) He also knows that there's not a snowball's chance in "you know where" that I'm leaving any of my young toddlers, much less an infant, to go off on a trip with him alone. Sorry.. can't do it! He was pretty ready to be done with two children, if we're being brutally honest. He was nice enough to try to make my life as fulfilled as possible by agreeing to have "just one more." Our compromise was basically, we'd have one more because he knew how much it meant to me, and I'd agree to have no more because I know how much that means to him. So, why is it, that I only have a 6 month old and my heart is already aching with the knowledge that this is it. My last. I keep reminding myself of all of the reasons I myself felt Samuel should be our last child. For one, I've already had 3 csections... do I REALLY want to do that to my body again? Would that even be safe? Our lives are just going to get busier as Carter enters school, and then Samuel. After school activities, sports, dance, and church will keep us on the move.... that won't be easy or probably enjoyable if I'm pregnant and then with a newborn. Kids cost a lot.... I refuse to work while I have my kids preschool age or younger... and that's a lot of pressure on Clayton to provide a comfortable lifestyle for all of us. So, see, I AM logical. These are just a few of the reasons I know we're done. It makes sense. The not logical, totally emotional, totally ruled by that motherly instinct, cries over this. One comfort I've found is in the knowledge that if God intends for us to ever have more children... we will. That I know for sure. And, I have to believe that if that is not his intent for our lives, that he will comfort me and mostly take this desire from me. I'm praying it already! I keep thinking that as Samuel gets older, and we get more freedom as a family to go and do things, I'll be happy we're done with the whole baby phase too. One can hope!