Taking on church

We haven't been to church since Sam's been born.. yeah... I know, I don't need a lecture. lol I've decided that tomorrow I'm up for seeing how getting up and going on Sunday morning goes for us. Clayton's out working overtime right now so I bet he doesn't come home until around 4am or later... and he has to be at work at 2pm tomorrow.. so looks like it will be me and the kids alone. I swear I've told God, "If you want me to go to church.. you really need to bless us tomorrow!" Probably not the best of my talks with the Big Man... but he knows what I mean. One thing I don't like about going to church right now is that I, for some reason, feel really uncomfortable nursing there. Why? I breastfeed EVERYWHERE... why does church make me clam up so? I've got milk stored in the freezer just for times like these... but I really wish I didn't have that feeling of not being able to feed Samuel the way God intended in HIS house. I think it's probably b/c we're one of the only young families that regularly goes to church and I'm thinking the older generation is a lot less educated on the benefits of breastfeeding.. since back "in the day" people were told formula was the BEST way to feed a baby. (though I have had one of my favorite ladies at the church say how beautiful she thought breastfeeding was when she asked me if I was nursing Samuel... that's always nice to hear!) anyway.. enough booby talk!

Clayton starts back on nights in one week... part of me likes nights b/c he's home in the mornings so I can hand Samuel off (and the big kids!) and catch another hour or two of sleep. The other part of me hates the lonely nights. Now, don't get me wrong.. once we get reused to the night shift the nights aren't even lonely to me. But, when we get that once every several months day shift (that he's on this month) and then have to switch back to the several months of nights... it's just plain tough of me for about a week or so. Amazingly the kids seem to be completely indifferent to his schedule. I guess it's all they've ever known... and as long as Mommy is here the world is right! (b/c... let's face it.. mommies are the best!) I'm not sure which is harder.. getting used to being alone at night or having to get used to him being home at night complaining about the shows I've been watching for the past 4 months. lol I get sooo behind when he's here!