Ah.. the self torture

Do you have anything that you do, that you know is going to probably just upset you, but you can't resist doing it anyway? Maybe it's eating a box of Oreos, when you know you'll feel guilty about it later, having more caffeine than you set your goal amount to be, or buying another outfit, when you vowed to start saving money. I know I'm guilty of doing all of those things from time to time, especially the Oreo example, but tonight I did my latest form of self toture. Looked online at maternity and newborn clothes. Why oh why do I do this? Each month I get hopeful, and start browsing to see what's out there this season.. and it never makes me feel happy when I'm done, so why do I continue to do it? Anyone know the answer? Why do things that don't, in the grand scheme of things, help us emotionally or physically? I remember, after madison turned 1 year old, looking at my flabby body in the mirror and deciding then and there to get into shape. And boy did I. My attitude about junk food from that point on was, "This doesn't taste as good as being thin feels!" I was right! Now, I see me letting my body go a bit again. So I'm trying to focus more on getting back into shape. I'll do well for a week, and then slip for a week. Why is it so hard? I'll have that extra helping of supper, and before I ever get up to refill my plate I'll think, "I don't need to eat anymore.." but it never stops me. Why? Am I a sucker for punishment or what? Any wise people out there know the answer? Am I the only one that does these things to myself?