We're the sick house!

So, I haven't written in a while.. forgive me.. we've had two kids sick, not at the same time, and a birthday party going on. First Carter got sick. High fevers, no other symptoms that I knew of.. for 3/4 days. The day he finally is totally normal again, his birthday party day, Madison wakes up saying her throat hurts. On the way to pick up the birthday cake she throws up in the van... and cries because she got it on her new outfit. (what a girl!) We make it home, cake in tow, and ppl start showing up for the party... meanwhile my poor baby girl is laying in my bed, feverish, throwing up occasionally, but mostly sleeping. (this was Saturday) Today, Sunday she wakes up and runs into my room to say "Mommy, guess what! I feel better!" Great! Then I notice her entire tongue is WHITE. Do 4 year olds get thrush?! What on earth?! It has to be.... she says her throat stil hurts too. And, as the day progresses she gets this awful rash all over her body. She's gotten rashes before from having fevers, but never one like this.. from head to toe, and it itches. Ugh.. to the doctor we'll be going in the morning! Thankfully Clayton is off tomorrow so he can sit with Carter while I take her. Other than that.. things are going okay with us. The birthday party was a lot of fun and a lot of people came even though the weather was HORRIBLE! Doesn't it make you feel special when people show up at something you invite them to? It does me. :)

For anyone wondering about our journey to get baby #3... we've unfortunantely started month 6... Doctor wants to do the HSG (dye test) if it doesn't happen this month but I'm thinking no. Maybe instead I'll get hormones checked... things don't seem totally right for me so that might be the easiest thing to start with! Please, keep prayers coming our way. I need them for sure for comfort and strength through this. I feel better lately than I have since we started trying so I know that my (and everyone) prayers are being heard and answered... but some days it is so hard to remain positive and happy in spite of this.

just whining...

This might not be a very "feel good" post.. so if you're looking for an upper... I'm sorry but I don't think I have it tonight. I'm just bummed. I'm an emotional wreck tonight for some reason. In about 3/4 days I'll find out if this was "the" month or not.. so that's weighing heavy on my mind. (after doing SO WELL all month not worrying over it!) Clayton is actually getting paid to work overtime now.. so he's gung ho about working it.. so tonight he could've been home at 10pm, but he's going to stay out until 12am. (I"ll be SHOCKED if he's home that early... grrr...) I just feel so needy right now and no one here to help me... hence why I'm on here crying to whoever reads this! I'd love to think that all of my moodyness is due to pg hormones.. but then I don't want to start thinking that way and be super disappointed, ya know? oh I just want to cry, scream, go running... SOMETHING.

On a good note, Madison has a Tball scrimmage game tomorrow morning.. yep.. should be HILARIOUS. I have no idea who they'll be playing against.. but it's guaranteed to be a good time! Our first game is Monday night... we don't have our shirts or hats yet, so hoping to get those tomorrow! oh the drama of tball! ;)

Okay, I'm done whining... for tonight!

Is it April or July?

The bank sign in town yesterday claimed it was 101 degrees.... I saw this on our way to Tball prac. I believe it was right... it was the first time since last summer that I was sweating just from STANDING outside. Whew! The kids were all so sweaty.. madison was whining about it. She can't stand to be hot, or cold, or dirty... she's so much like her mamma.

Had an AWESOME playgroup today!! Good conversation, the kids got to run around and play, and I got treated to tea and pizza at Suanne's house afterwards. What could be better?! Carter was passed out in his carseat when we got home and slept for almost 2 hours! That's a record for him! We should have playgroup everyday! :)

Dr's appt update

Yes, I had my dreaded ob/gyn appt today.. it wasn't too bad. Had an ultrasound which showed that yes, my ovarian cysts are returning, but the good news is as of now they're small and nothing to worry about fertility wise.. though they hurt like crazy. (and they'll just get worse so I need go get pg.. come on body! help yourself here!) Doctor was surprised that we've been trying for almost 6 months now with no result and said that if we don't get pg on the 6th month, he wants me to call and schedule a HSG.. which is basically when they put dye into the uterus and fallopian tubes to check it all out and 'clean' it all out. Even if nothing 'wrong' is found it is a great boost to fertility so it would hopefully help me get pg more quickly. I've heard it is a very painful procedure though... and I'm not sure I'm ready to start medical stuff right now. We'll see what happens the next few weeks. Hoping the next thing I'm scheduling with him is a prenatal checkup and not an HSG! So that's it... basically try one more time, and then give the Dr. a call. Yikes.. that scares me! Clayton basically is just taking care of my emotional needs.. he hasn't really opened up to me today on what he thinks about all of this. (if he thinks much of it at all.. who knows!) He's so laid back that it can be frustrating I tell ya! Oh... AS SOON as I walk in from my dr's appt a friend calls to inform us that he and his wife are pg now. I overheard the conversation and had to go to the kitchen to cry where no one would hear me. Why is it so painful to hear of someone else being pg? How selfish, hu? I am feeling better now, but I guess it was just a really bad time for me to hear that. They tried one month. (which used to be US so it's not like I begrudge them for it!) It's weird how you can be happy for someone but so sad for you. ah well... my time is coming.. I've got to be closer to being pg now than I was 6 months ago right? :) Sorry for all the obsessive pregnancy talk... it's all that's been on my mind today though. Tomorrow is Noah and Gracie's big bday bash so that will be a wonderful uplifter!

Off to the doctor tomorrow!

Yikes!! I am so stressed and nervous about my OB/GYN appt. tomorrow! (Friday) I have no idea what he's got in mind to do to me.. that's always a fun feeling isn't it? To make things better I don't think I ovulated at all this cycle. Wonderful! We'll see though... hopefully I'm wrong.

So, T-Ball has taken over my life!! It's sucking up a ton of time and money! Madison is loving it though... but secretely I hope that next year she'll say she doesn't want to play again. She's sooooo ready to play soccer.. if she'd just do soccer and not Tball next year.. I'd be one happy mamma! I might be choosing for her next year.. if I never mention Tball.. maybe she'll never mention it too. I have to say though, the kids are SO cute playing out there. They're so small, have nearly no clue as to what they should do, but try so hard anyway. I'm so proud of Madison.. my typically shy girl.. everytime the coach asks "who wants to go first?" Madison raises her hands really high and waves it like "please, please pick me!" She's one of about two that will volunteer.. that's my girl!

So, my 'baby' will turn 2 years old in 2 weeks, 4 days. (May 1) I could cry thinking of it! How do they grow up so fast?! How do some days seem neverending.. but when you look back it's like it all happened in a flash? Clayton will turn 25 on the 22nd of this month. HOW?! We started dating when he was 16! (almost 17) Life really goes by too fast. Just typing that makes me realize that right now I need to go get in the floor and scribble with Carter, and giggle until I can't breathe, and rock him until he falls asleep in my arms. That's what life is all about isn't it? If that's the truth.. then why do we (in general) spend so much more time stressed about work, the house, how much we've eaten, how tired we are, how busy we are... why not just stop and enjoy life? That's the constant question isn't it? I know it is for me.

My "true" self

My Personal Dna Report


Sounds like me to me... wow, I'm not as nice as I thought hu?

Tball.. here we come!

Madison had her first Tball pract. yesterday! It was so cute!!! She is one of only 3 girls on her team.. the girls all huddled together like they were trying to protect each other from the boys all around. They just worked on catching with their gloves, and stepping and throwing the ball. I hope they'll get to do hitting and base running tonight because madison got a little bored and even said she didn't really want to go back again. Coach better get some fun going quick! We've spent the money so she's is so going to play! Just got to buy her belt, socks, and pants for her uniform.. oh, and cleates. I can't wait to see her in her uniform.. it'll be so darn cute! OKay, I have really turned into one of 'those' moms. Every new thing my kids do I consider just absolutely wonderful and want to tell everyone! When Madison would throw the ball correctly I kept turning to the mom next to me and saying "oh did you see that?!" Thankfully she had 4 kids with her (all under the age of 6) and she's 10 weeks pg.. so she was equally as giddy about all her kids were doing. Then today at "playgroup" (which consisted of Suzanne's crew and me and Carter) everytime Carter listened to what i was asking of him and minded I'd cheer and ask Suzanne, "Oh did you see that?! He really is minding me!!" I know that she understands why this is so amazing because she has three kids... so one of them is bound to be the one that's a little more difficult to get through to.
We have to do Tball stuff again tonight... and then I have parenting group at church (love it!!) so we're in for a long and exhausting night but I am so looking forward to it! Still dreading my ob/gyn appt I have on the 14th... so be praying for my peace on that please. I need it!