Friday, July 30, 2010

Chelsea's Getting Married - And Everyone's Ticked

Posted by Mandy at 8:20 AM 4 comments Links to this post

Imagine your special day. You've waited your entire life to plan this event. You found the perfect man, the perfect dress, the perfect venue... it's magical. Now, imagine this. Everyone in America is totally mad at you over the way you're planning your wedding.

"You're spending HOW MUCH on flowers?!"

This is exactly what's happening to Chelsea Clinton.

I don't have the energy to look up exactly what this wedding is reported to cost by the end (that would require opening a new tab, Googling the info, and reporting back... do you know how much brain power that would take? Okay.. not much.. but more than I've got right now.) but I can't help but want to scream to the world, "It's none of yo' biz-nez!" (thank you Salt 'n Peppa for the inspiration)

I do believe I read that the wedding will cost between 3 and 5 million dollars. It was reported that more is being spent on flowers than security. (well, duh. I can think of a lot of places and uses for flowers... can't be quite so creative with the armed guards.)

This is just a classic case isn't it? Everyone waits to point fingers at the super rich - criticizing where and how they spend their fortunes.

"You could feed every person in Africa for a year with that money!! You selfish, brat!"

Yeah.. and you could send a child to school in Africa for a year with what money you spend on McDonald's each day. Hello pot.. meet the kettle. And, how do YOU know how much money they give away?

I heard one of my favorite sayings ever on K-Love's radio station during one of there telethons. It was when someone called in to give $20 a month, when they were seriously struggling financially. The family stated "we know it isn't much, but we really wanted to help."

"It isn't equal giving. It's equal sacrifice."

That $20 a month to that family, was quite possibly more special in God's eyes than the one time pledge of a major companies $20,000.

Chelsea's family spending millions of dollars on their daughter's wedding is likely equal to the typical amount we average folks spend on ours. It's equal with what we make verses what we spend.

What I'm trying to say is - what's it to ya? Why does everyone care? This wedding is likely putting lots of NEEDED money into people in the wedding industry's pockets. Wedding planners and florists have children to feed, too. You support the economy by spending money.. right? If you can spend, stimulate, pay your bills ON TIME, and not go into debt.. then rock on!

In closing, I'd like to say, hey.. congrats to ya, Chelsea! I hope you and your hubby end up being like Brad and Angelina and adopt like 8 kids from all over the world - just to stick it to the folks that are up your rear right now. That'll show 'em... ;)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

I've Lost My Touch

Posted by Mandy at 8:24 AM 7 comments Links to this post
I got a call this morning from my BFFs that they needed spur of the moment child care for their ridiculously precious baby boy. "Umm.. yes. Bring him - NOW."

He arrived at 8am, and here we are two hours later and this is all he's done:


He's just hanging out, sleeping, and looking adorable. My kids are mad because I won't let them touch him or otherwise wake him up.

In all honesty, I need him to wake up so that I can get some baby practice in. I have completely lost my ability to hold a baby and do anything else. When I hold him, that's all I do. Hold him.

How is it that I used to cook supper, bathe kids, put on kids' shoes... and basically save the world all with a baby in my arms? (Well... not that I would ever cook supper with a baby in my arms... I mean.. that would be dangerous...) Now, I need BOTH hands on this real-life doll to keep him from falling to his doom. The good news is.. there are 6 other arms just begging to get a`hold of him. Poor kid.

I'll either learn to get stuff done with this cuttie pie around or I'll just sit and look at him. Either way.. I'll call the day a success.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I am Completely, Totally, Clueless

Posted by Mandy at 8:08 AM 7 comments Links to this post
Over the past couple of months, the husband and I have been looking at house plans. I thought this would be a really fun experience, but as I sit and look at this book of "the 425 best-selling home plans" I feel very, very, small.



One would think you could figure out what your family needs in a home. How many bedrooms, bathrooms, one-story or two. An office? A playroom? Do we need a formal dining room or is an eat-in kitchen sufficient? I. Have. No. Idea.

So far, my favorite "on paper" house plans are laid out with the master bedroom and main living areas downstairs, and the other bedrooms upstairs. I've been told by a few people that it's a lot cheaper to build up than out, so to get the most space for your money, two-stories is the way to go. That sounds appealing.. but does walking up and down stairs to put away the 13 loads of laundry a day I'll be doing speak to me? Not in a nice way...


"I'd love to go for a walk today... but I can't move my legs after climbing 10 miles of stairs. Sorry."

My biggest debacle is bedrooms. How many should we have? At first, I thought 4. One for us, three extra. Kids can share... that'll be fine. Now, 5 is looking better. Someone may NEED their own room. We fill up 4 bedrooms with just the three kids we have now. Oh I don't know. It's a good thing this isn't a time-sensitive issue... we have tons of time to try to figure this all out.

Have you ever built a house? Done a lot of house hunting? What would you want if you could pick and choose your ideal home with a large family? Help a lady out!

Monday, July 26, 2010

A Letter to the Unknown

Posted by Mandy at 2:13 PM 7 comments Links to this post
Hey there... whoever you are. We're here and we're waiting for you to join our family. We don't know how old you are, how long you'll stay, if you're a boy or a girl, what color you are, or anything about you. All we know is we've worked really hard over the past few months to get ready for you. We've redone a bedroom:


We made a closet for your things.



We were given a beautiful Moses Basket in case you are very small.


If you are a boy, I'll cover this with a blue blanket or something...

We have a cozy spot in our room for you, in case you're too young to be in a room without us.



I suppose we've done all we can to prepare for the unknown. We've completed endless paperwork, taken two months of classes, had a few home inspections, taken CPR/First Aid classes, had two TB tests, physicals, state and federal background checks... am I missing anything?

Today we had our BIG home study. It went beautifully. It seems all of our prep work paid off. Now we wait. From what we've been told, you could be joining our home in one to two weeks.. or at most 30 days. Of course, we know that God's timing is never something we can squeeze into a time frame - so we will sit in patience and know that whoever you are, God will bring you here when the time is right. Maybe you're not even born yet. Maybe you've not been noticed by anyone yet... does anyone see your bruises? Your pain? I don't know what your story will be. I don't know anything. My type-A personality is going crazy because this is one thing I cannot plan for.

Here we are. We're waiting for you! We want to show you what real love is. We want you to feel at home here for however long or short your stay is. We want the Father's love to pour down on you like crazy while in this crazy household. Our prayer is simple - that whatever God's purpose for us, it will be played out beautifully in your life. No matter how crazy everyone thinks we are for wanting to help you, we know that this is God's will. It isn't for us to look good, it's for him to look good. Child, I have a feeling that you will make God shine like crazy! Praying for your sweet life - whatever that life may hold.

Love,
Your Future Foster Mom

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Will My Hair Hold me Back?

Posted by Mandy at 2:29 PM 8 comments Links to this post
I posted recently about how I accepted a part-time writing position for our local news website Monticello Live.  I have to say that so far I LOVE it. This is my kind of job! The hours are my kind of working hours (evenings usually) and they don't require me to be away from home much. I can do the 'real' work when I carve out time at home. Love it, love it, love it!

At one of the last meetings I attended (Quorum Court) I took a glance around.

"Do I stick out like a sore thumb?"

All around me were women, older than I am, probably 40x's smarter than I am, with these super cute, professional shorter hair styles.

"Hmmmmmm..."

I came home that evening to discuss my big hair concerns with my hubby.

"Does my long hair make me look stupid? You know.. like a kid? Like... I'm just here to try to look pretty and not to report on this meeting?"


My hair and I would like to quote you on that.

He was oh-so helpful when his response was basically, "Who cares.... I like your long hair... don't cut it off because of that."

Thanks sweetie.. really.

Since that night I've taken a look around nearly everywhere I go. Most professional women I encounter tend to have shorter hair styles.


I earn twice as much as that long-hair chic..

 I can only think of one friend of mine, off the top of my head, that works full-time and has long hair. Hi Lauren! Her gorgeous locks were the reason I grew mine back out again.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm loving my hair long right now. I've had it shorter for the past few years due to it being easier with little kids, but now, I'm enjoying my "princess" look as a friend's husband used to call it. Hi Amanda and Justin!

What do you think? Does a woman with long hair send a signal that she's not professional or as smart as her peers? Does shorter hair instantly make you appear more "together" in the work place? Perhaps I'm just over-thinking this.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Kids and Their Jedi Mind Tricks

Posted by Mandy at 1:21 PM 7 comments Links to this post
It's really amazing that no matter how deliberate, purposeful, and intentional you are in your parenting, it just takes two days of an ill-tempered six year old to make you completely question yourself.

Carter is my super tender-hearted child. I mean.. it's pretty bad. One cross look his way can send him into a sobbing fit. A genuine, you just stuck a spear in my heart and twisted it, sobbing fit.

Now, apparently he has split personalities. Coupled with Dr. Jeckle is Mr. Hyde. When Mr. Hyde comes - look out!

I believe that he is now the master of all feelings. He knows how to feel them all with a crazy intensity, and he is learning how to dish those feelings out to others.

He can pick a fight better than any other boy I know. He can make his sister red from anger in .5 seconds if he's so inclined. He can me want to roll him in duct tape and glue him to the couch from annoyance. He's also the first one to get everyone in the house laughing hysterically, and he's very well known for his spontaneous hugs, kisses, and "You're the best 'fill in the blank'" moments.

Over the past two days, he's fine-tuning his "how can I break mommy's heart the best" skills. Oh yes. He is.

Yesterday, after a "I'm not eating that - fix me a PB&J" moment, Carter ended up laying in his bed instead of sitting at the table for supper with the rest of the family. Oh the tears. Oh the drama. "But I HATE BLT sandwiches!!!" (no he doesn't..) The remainder of the night just got worse and worse as he was not only tired, but tired and hungry due to his refusal to eat. (and yes, I am of the mind set that kids will eat when they're hungry... and they'll eat what I feed them or eventually starve to death. Their choice.)

After he finally managed to brush his teeth and as slowly as possible climb onto his bed on the top bunk, I came to tuck him in. I decided to just drop the whole recap of the night to scold him one good last time, and just hug and kiss him and say his prayers, and beg God for him to wake up on the right side of the bed the next morning. All went well, until I was leaving.

Carter - "Mommy.. you know what I really hate?"
Me - "What?" (assuming he'd say BLT's... again..)
Carter - "You."


Me - "Me?" in my head
Me - "That's fine." to Carter

I just walked out.. not sure if I was thoroughly Peeved at his snot-head comment, or if I was heartbroken over those words. "He doesn't hate you.. he's just mad... he'll get over it."

A few minutes later, a cry from Carter's room:

Carter - "Moommmeee! Come here, please!"
I walked in, hoping he was going to cry and apologize and do a typical "I don't know why I said that" apology.

Me - "What do you need?"
Carter - "Can you fix my sheet? It's all wrapped up at my feet."
I fix the sheet and kiss him before I go to walk out.
Carter - "... but I still don't like you."
didn't say a word...

Today was more of the same. We homeschool during the summer months, and it was writing time for him. I made him a sheet of fill in the blank sentences, which he usually enjoys, and he immediately got upset.

Carter - "I hate this!!! I'm not doing it!"
Me - refraining from smacking him "I'm sorry you hate it.. just do it quickly and you can go play blocks."

Oh the crying, the screaming, the DRAMA. Is he a  6 year old boy or a 14 year old girl?! He finally consented and did the work.

One of the sentences was "I really don't like ___________" He of course filled the blank with "mom." And, he made sure to show it to me immediately. Nice.

This is something that I dealt with when Madison was much younger. Ages 3-4. Carter pulled the "I hate you" card about a year ago, I just told him that was fine that he hated me, and he never said it again. Now, here we sit on day two of him being a total butt-head to me and I'm not sure how to handle it. Ignore it? Discipline for being disrespectful? Combo? I really, honestly, am so taken aback by this from HIM that I just don't know what to do.

Thankfully our day since this incident has gone beautifully. He actually went back and changed the "mom" in the sentence to "going on walks." (he hates going on walks... unless we're in the woods.) So maybe that's a step in the right direction?

Isn't it crazy how a few mean words from my little 6 year old totally makes me question my parenting methods?
"Am I mean to him?"
"Does he really not like me?"
"Is he going to grow up a psychopath and have women issues because of me?!!"

How do they implant these little seeds into our brains that grow into mega-thought-consuming-thorny-bushes?

Am I the only mom in the world that has a child that says he doesn't like her? Even if he turns right around and says I'm the best mom in the "UNIVERSE!"... it still kind of hurts to hear those words he spouts off in his fits of frustration. Maybe it means I'm doing something wrong... maybe it means I'm doing something right? Kids can't like their parents all of the time... right? Right?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

This is not for Your Enjoyment

Posted by Mandy at 8:48 AM 8 comments Links to this post
It's for them.

I'm adopted. I came to my family straight from the hospital as a foster placement. No one suspected I'd stay there forever, but I am so thankful for my then foster parents' YES. Because of them I have a wonderful family. I was never bounced around from home to home. They were willing to suffer the heartache of loving me and letting me go so that I could have the best life possible. Thankfully, that heartache never came. I share their last name, and I know that I am loved. Adored. Gushed over. Squeezed tightly and held sweetly. I am loved.


This is my big sister. She was born from my mom's body. Some people probably thought, or even said, that helping kids like me would harm her somehow. It would take away from her. She looks like she's suffering, doesn't she? Do you know my sister? She's the spunkiest kid in the world. I'm pretty sure she'll end up with 5 biological children and at least 4 adopted "chocolate" babies. I am so lucky that this vanilla family always wanted a chocolate baby just like me! I was a special request from my sisters, before I was even born.


I wish my sister's eyes were open in ANY of the pictures Mrs. Mandy took because you would not believe how stunningly beautiful they are. Very unique.. not a dime a dozen. Anywho - she's also adopted. Like me, she came as a foster child. Sadly, her story is not like mine. It's no one's business what my sweet sister had suffered in her short 3 years of life before she came to be with my family, but it definitely was of no fault of her own. Unlike me, she was bounced around before finally finding her forever home here with us. This left her with some serious attachment issues... and who can blame her? When love has only ever hurt you over your entire life - how do you readily accept it?

If there was a poster child for attachment disorders, she'd be it. If there was a poster family for dealing with attachment disorders, my family would be it. Unconditional love. She's never known that before my mom and dad. She's come so far. She is a very loving and caring sister. She adores me... and lets me take all of her toys and looks at the same books with me over and over again, just to see me laugh at my favorite part. I'm so glad my parents were able to put their yes on the table for my big sister! What would my life be like without her?


This is another sister of mine (Yes, I have 5...) and she can best be described as a laugh a minute. EVERYTHING is funny to her. She's a really good friend, and I love to follow her around to see what types of things we can get into together. She is the absolute best at getting into stuff.

My sweet sister here also came into our home as a foster placement (at age 1) and is now adopted. Her story is also quite sad, but thank God for people willing to say "yes" to providing happy endings! If my parents wouldn't have taken her in, where do you think she'd be today? I don't know for sure, but I know she wouldn't be with me. I know I wouldn't be with my family. Being that I'm a black little girl... I might not be with anyone. No one wants kids that look like me. We're considered "hard to place."


Why is that? What's so bad about being mocha colored?

 I think I'm just beautiful.. and so does everyone I see. At least that's what I hear them say all of the time. I've heard around town that little boys that look like me are the hardest kids to place with anyone. Even as babies. Phone call after phone call for a newborn, black baby boy from his caseworker met with "no" after "no" after "no." As he wonders why he's not being held. Why no one is looking into his eyes and telling him how precious he is. What a gift from God he is. Isn't that what all babies should receive? I'm glad I got that from my parents! Even though they thought they'd lose me in the end, and they thought that from the start, they still poured their hearts out for me. They wanted me to be snuggled, to be held, kissed, talked to, and spoiled absolutely rotten.

I don't know if my parents would feel like something were missing if they would have never said yes to any of us. I don't know if somewhere there would be a hole in their hearts or if God would be whispering "there's something more." I wonder if they would be able to live a normal life with their three biological children without ever giving a thought to us. Would it be like we didn't exist at all? Would anyone see us? Would we be real to anyone in this world? I don't know. I do know that if they wouldn't have said yes, I would feel like there was something missing. There would be a hole in my heart and God would be reassuring me that "there's something more."

I'm just a sweet little toddler, but what an impact my little life has had. My sisters and I have encouraged at least one other family to put their yes on the table. We put a face to the nameless children in the system. We took a lot of the fear away with our hugs, kisses, smiles, and silliness. We gave reality checks when needed to what issues we have, and what issues we don't have.

Yes, I'm sure that my parents have struggled more than I'll ever know by being foster/adoptive parents. The heartache of the children that have come and gone, and friends lost, the rejection from family and society because our family doesn't look like a cookie-cutter, straight from a magazine, family. The heartache of having "friends" refuse to take care of our children because they don't want their own kids around yours... the worry, the tears, the stress. The doctor's appointments, the therapy, the ongoing battle with RAD and who knows what else.

I'm also sure that my parents have received more love, blessings, grace, mercy, and knowledge about what it means to really love as Christ does because of this journey. They've TAUGHT others how to do the same just by living. Just by being obedient. It's amazing how one family can create such a wave of action. It really does just take one.

My friends the Mosses are starting this journey now. My mom and Mrs. Mandy are already plotting my future marriage to the "hard to place" black baby Mrs. Mandy is sure they'll be raising. Mrs. Mandy thinks that plan may go out the window because her vanilla boy Samuel is already in love with me. We'll see.. I like to keep my options open.

You can visit my mom's blog to read more about all 6 of us kids. We're all girls! Find us at Sugar and Spice. Let her know how much she rocks for being who she is. And, my dad, too. It can't be easy being the only boy.. even the cat and dog are girls... but he handles it well.

Taking care of children without families isn't a special calling - it's a calling that God gives to all Christians. Would you leave a homeless child sitting outside of your front door? Make a hundred excuses as to why it just "isn't for you" or why you can't help her? Or would you open your door, feed her, clothe her, and love her? These children aren't out where we can see them in today's time.. but the problem is still the same. Please, pray for homes for these children. Pray for healing. Pray for support for the families that do say yes. Pray for action. ACTION is the only answer.

"All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

When Did I Become a Working Mom?

Posted by Mandy at 7:31 AM 4 comments Links to this post
When things change very gradually, it can feel like no change at all. Then, one day, you see where you are verses where you were and think, "when did this happen?"

It occurred to me the other day when I accepted a part-time writing job for Monticello Live that I am, indeed, a working mom! Wow! What's really cool about this is, I now have two paying jobs, and I usually still feel like a stay-at-home-mom. That's really awesome! 

and yes I look just like this for those that have never seen me...

With my own business, Canine Corrections, I work from home. With this new job, I mostly work from home, also. Other than attending a few meetings a month (City Council, School Boards, etc) I do my writing from home! This sounds like a great gig, right? Yeah.. if I didn't have three kids I'm sure it would be bliss!

I've had to learn over the past couple of years how to work from home with three lunatics running around. Well, my girl child is calm and quiet, so I really only have two lunatics I suppose. This is no easy task! I can blog, email, and even outline my next article with noise in the background and 20 breaks to fix a sippy cup, clean up pee from the bathroom floor, and send kids to their own corners during a fight. I cannot, however, carry on a phone interview, write a complete article that's worth reading, or think worth a flip during these events.



Enter: strategy.

If you want time from your kids, you have to pour time out to your kids first. Simple as that.

If I spend a good solid hour doing nothing but playing with them, talking with them, going out to play.. you know the routine... then I can expect a good 30 minutes to an hour to work in peace. I only need about an hour or two to do my writing, so this works out great for us! Give me a little time and then the REST of the day.. I'm totally yours! Thankfully, I don't have to write every day, hence the "part-time" I mentioned above. This is my ideal work scenario... I cannot believe how this has all panned out! God is good!

My strategy will likely have to change dramatically in the coming months, depending upon what foster children are in our home. Obviously having an infant will require much different planning than having a 4 year old. A 4 year old much different than a 7 year old. Time will tell! I just keep telling God that he's given me ALL of this, at his perfect time, and I'm basically demanding that he work it all out for me as well. So far, he's holding up to his end of the deal. Nice how that works out.

 Are you a working mom?  What has your experience with working away from home or in the home been like since having children? Positive? Negative? You're too tired to comprehend this question? Here... this will help you frazzled moms:

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

My Love - Hate Relationship with The View

Posted by Mandy at 8:10 AM 5 comments Links to this post

There are few daytime TV shows that I watch religiously, but this is one of them. This show makes me so angry, yet so happy at the same time. Go figure!

To understand where I'm coming from you must first realize I'm born and raised in the south - which equals conservative. Can't help it.. it's in my blood line. Enter: Elisabeth. I love her. (the cute blonde on the left for those that aren't aware) She is my fellow right-winged warrior fighting a losing battle with everyone else.

Enter: the hate part of our relationship.

It seems that every other lady on this show is not only liberal but extremely loud. Poor Elisabeth.. she doesn't stand a chance. It's okay hun... I got yo' back! I'm yelling at the TV that Obama dropped the ball with this BP crap, too, I don't think Sarah Palin is the anti-Christ either, and gosh-darnit I agree that there's too much gluten in the world! I should totally be the next guest co-host. I 'think' I can yell louder than Joy... it's possible. I've had more experience with constructive yelling being a mom to 3.  I'm used to being in the arena of my beliefs all alone... so that's cool.

I 'think' that Sherry might be more in line with Elisabeth than with the others but since Joy and Whoopi are so loud I never get to hear her finish a thought... so who can tell. ("who can tell" in memory of Grandma Moss)

Watching this show likely raises my blood pressure... I'm always trying to discern one loud voice from the others during heated debates so I can know who will be the one to tap me into the fight. if only in my mind.

Even with always being upset that "my" point of view never seems to be expressed thoroughly during Hot Topics, I just cannot stop watching this show! Am I the only psycho person that is addicted to a show that sends me into hysteria?

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

And, I'm Drawing a Blank

Posted by Mandy at 9:07 AM 7 comments Links to this post


Something amazing happens after you have a few kids... you completely lose your ability to form a complete sentence, or answer a question intelligently on the fly. This tends to only happen in times that you're either:
A: In front of a lot of strangers
B: Being asked about very important info
C: Asked something you should obviously know the answer to

One of the first times this ever happened to me was when I was in Motherhood Maternity. After what seemed like hours of sorting Moo Moo's from what might be stylish clothes, I arrived at the checkout counter. After recovering from a massive stroke due to sticker shock, the lady **that was all of 16 years old and a size 2** looked at me and asked,

"Zip code please"

Me: stares blankly

Sickeningly thin girl: "I need your zip code please."

Me: "Umm... I have no idea..." utter humiliation begins

I believe this conversation ended with me telling her to just make one up for me... it took me a good 20 minutes after leaving the store to remember where exactly in the United States of America I lived. I blamed it on pregnant brain.

Imagine my shock when this condition not only didn't go away after pregnancy.. but got worse! Oh yes... much worse.

I have since then walked into rooms and completely forgotten why I was in there - numerous times a day.

I have forgotten people's names that I've met several times. Or, I've not only forgotten their names, but also how I know them at all. It is very difficult to get any answers about said person from the husband later in this situation.

"Remember that girl with shoulder-length brown hair? She's my height.. a little bigger than I am? I saw her at Walmart today. Who is that? Why do I know her?" *husband is now giving me the look I gave to the skinny b-word at Motherhood Maternity.

Multiplication Tables - those magically disappeared.

This is the new easy way to teach multiplication?!

"chief... cheif...piece...peice..." I before E except after C.. right? Is that right? Ugh.. let me open spell check..

I swear I used to be smart. Like.. REALLY smart. "Hey Mandy, do my homework" smart. I don't know where it went.

Just this morning, I was calling our insurance and claims people all morning about this situation, and one of them, shockingly, asked what type of van we had.

"Umm...it's a Ford..." Yeah, they needed more info than that.

Right as I was about to walk out the front door to read the back of my totally jacked up vehicle, it suddenly came to me! "Oh.. it's a Freestar!" I honestly did a little jig in the living room because I was able to recall that info without cheating. Sad times, my friends.

Trying to remember everyone's birthdays about kills me. Not so much the days, but the years... and I realized the other day that I also suddenly cannot remember what time it was when each of my children were ripped from my womb. (Csections...) When asked by each of them "what time was I born?!" The best answer I could give was, "Sometime between 5:00am and 7:00am... I think." I've turned into the cable guy.

It's really amazing that I have remembered to feed these kids over all of these years. And, trim their fingernails. (It's really freakish how fast those suckers grow.) They may be taking care of me well before my golden years if I keep up at this rate. Sorry kids. I swear I had it all together before I became a mom. 


Monday, July 05, 2010

The Dangers of Paying off Your Van

Posted by Mandy at 12:45 PM 5 comments Links to this post

Why yes, that is a big gaping hole where my window once was! Awesome.

I was driving to town today to take a daycare dog back to his owner, van full of kids ready to hit the pool after, when a REALLY loud noise came out of nowhere. Everyone screamed, and I heard lots of crashing in the back. Right where my baby sits, glass was flying everywhere! *You know, the most accident prone child on the planet that has managed to swallow a rock AND possibly break his finger all THIS week.* Thankfully, everyone was okay.

So, I look in my rear view mirror to see who was responcible... I mean.. surely someone's break lights will be lit up coming back to see what damage they've done to this innocent family vehicle. Nope. Three pick-up trucks driving merrily on their way... I have no clue which is the guilty party, but I hope they have a nice hole and gash somewhere in their vehicle to show for their not-so-nice ways. Samuel would say they were "stinky poo poo heads.." Ditto.

A big hip-hip hooray for the Monticello PD that came to my rescue.. for at least the 3rd or 4th time in the 10 years we've lived here. Must I always be a damzel in distress? One officer helped me load 3 of the 4 kids into his police car so that they didn't have to eat glass on the way back home. And no, they don't get paid extra for being nice guys.. that's a free service! So pat a cop on the back today instead of calling him an A-Hole the next time you get pulled over. Back on topic..

Not that having a totally trashed van window is ever a good thing, but I just want to say how extra sucky it is when you've worked so hard to get the darn thing paid off, only to have to keep paying to fix crap all of the time. Our left front tire was low yesterday, and we just patched the two back tires last month... and today this! The tires are minor... the two back tires happened due to hubby doing work and running over nails... and we must have picked up something at the firework's stand Saturday to account for the new issue. But an entire window needing  to be replaced? In the same week as two X-rays for Sam and other dr's bills that will be left unstated?! You get out of debt just to pay off more.. I swear it!

I will sit and cringe to see what our insurance will or won't pay. Of course, being a holiday weekend, no one is in the office today. Or they heard what happened and are avoiding my calls...

Friday, July 02, 2010

Plastic Surgery

Posted by Mandy at 12:00 PM 7 comments Links to this post

One of my new favorite fantasies is saving thousands of dollars in order to go to a glorious doctor that can put my body parts back to the places they once were. You know.. before my 8 pound boys camped out in there.

I've discovered through the past couple of years that several of my friends have had nips, tucks, and implants here and there. I had no idea! I'm so out of the loop! Well if they can do it...

Can I just say how frustrating it is to lose all of your "baby weight" only to be left with 'that' stomach? You know the one... no matter what you do.. it just won't go anywhere. Not to mention lovely stretch marks. Nice. I think I've come to the conclusion that, yes.. one day.. I will get a tummy tuck. I know, I know. It's major surgery. It's expensive. You could DIE for Pete's sake! Yeah, but in the end you can wear a bikini again - if you are so inclined. Or lay down at night without having your stomach lay down beside you. Whatever floats your boat.


A ton of my friends long for breast implants. I don't get that... I had mega-boobs when I was nursing and I was not a fan. In all honesty, I thought they made me look fat. Maybe that's b/c I had just given birth and was fat... so what do I know. If I could get a doctor to do a two-fer.. maybe I'd consider something a bit bigger than I am now. Not stripper material.. but "Hey, it doesn't look like you've nursed gigantic babies! How'd you do that?!" sized. I dunno... how superficial should I really get here?

Am I the only  mom that really thinks seriously about plastic surgery to get back what you once had? If money were no option, would you do it?

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Magical Bag of Goodies

Posted by Mandy at 8:45 AM 2 comments Links to this post
Today is the dreaded day of physicals. For EVERYONE. Well, everyone minus my husband that got called out on two mega-cases THIS MORNING so.. just me and the three little people. Even better. This will only take approximately 3 hours. If we're lucky.

To prepare for our Day 'O Waiting Torture, I'm trying to plan some fun stuff to take. I need my kids to be happy, pleasant, and quiet for a very extended period of time. I'm not sure if the $Tree has enough goodies to accomplish this task.

I thought of buying some of those ginormous lollipops that are as big as each child's head, but then had to remember that I do care what my kids look like once we get back to the Doctor. Also, I'll be sitting with them... what are the chances that three kids with lollipops will result in a non-sticky mom? On to the next..

Maybe the oldie but goodie of coloring books, crayons, and stickers will work. Even if for only 10 minutes.

For my easy child, the 9 year old girl, I can just have her bring a couple of books and she'll happily read for hours on end. It's those two boy-children that will create the trouble for me. If you don't have sons, let me assure you that they do not sit very still, for very long. Yes.. even well-behaved ones. Trust me on this one.
I wonder if I can somehow take a slide or swing-set in there...

So, wish me luck. Today we shall conquer not only the large waiting room but the dreaded tiny one. As long as everyone gets a clean bill of health in the end - then I suppose it will have all been worth it.
 

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